freedom
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Everything posted by freedom
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hmmm, i really dont care for this feeling at all. I have been thru this long enough, i just dont need it, but it still there. I wish i can switch it off and move on with my life. This has caused me to change so much that people around me fear for me. I have lost nearly 20 pounds in 4 weeks and dropped 3-4 inches around my waist. Now who ever said that breaking up wasnt good for you! HA! the most effective weight control plan it is breakup up with someone that you love. I just want to go back to my old self, fun loving, care free with a big heart and not this moody, gloomy, depressed person. Just so sick of the person that i have become.
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I have been trying to get rid of this feeling. I have been angry, lost, desperate, fusrated, needy, unworthly, LOST LOST and LOST and depressed. I am so sick of this feeling. I want to move on, but my head won't let it go. I still want to be back with her. Daydreams, night dreams mid day dreams etc, i try to shut them down. But it wont stop coming back. That isnt the problem, the fustration lays that i know i am so sick of these feeling that i want to shut them down but i cant shut it down. I then get FUSTRATED that i take it out on ppl around me.(NOT GOOD). It is KILLING me that i cant shut down these feeling. Can someone suggest how to shut down these feelings? Bloodly hell it really eating at me.
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TRUST, geeeezzzzz a big word that many don't knw how to keep or the meaning of. It as really hard thing to do and it i s a uphill battle. But if approached correctly the world opens up and you see a far greener field. As droptozero says, never trust in people totally, you have to keep control of that, as when you do get 'berayed' it would not be that hard. BUT remember, trust is a control thing, you can control how much trust you give out. It is only when you each the relationship level when control becomes the issue.
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Things really do get better with time
freedom replied to judgeinjury's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
"They are not your soulmate if they don't want to be with you." Well, logic permits, emotions doesnt. DAMN! working on it though -
Found mine, but she couldnt have the relationship.
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just didnt click... and maybe he wanted to be in control of the situation? but you didnt let him? it could be anything. These things are out of your control, dont worry about it.
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To have met your "soulmate" only to have them removed from you is cruel, so damn cruel. Why ever does the god tease us like this? i would rather to have live in loneliness then to ever have the opportunity to met my soul mate. The torture and the torment of this pain that rip through me has become unbearable that i seek other forms of pain to distract me from the breaking strings of my heart. I scream at the sky trying to change the destiny. Life is cruel, love is cruel, i have no use for either in this life time. Oh i hate thee, for the torment that i have to go through. Damn the saying, "It's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all." He didnt know what loss was. I'm Lost, i have no more faith or energy to move on, to live on. I am no one to anyone because the leaves have wilted, the grass is brown and dry, the joys of moisture,love, has be removed. i heading for the wasteland where skeleton of the once loved lays. The soul has gone.
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Actions and consequences Man, you are in a tight position. The longer you wait the more likely i WILL break up with you! Be a man, stand up and receive the spanking you deserve. Dont ever start out saying "you know that i love you blah blah blah" , cos it all going to be used against you in the form of "well if yo loved me then blah blah blah". Stand up, say, "{name} i have to tell you about something that has been bothering me, something that i am ashamed of. I know that it was wrong and i will accept the consequences that will araise from my actions. This is what happened... on saturday night blah blah blah". Then at the end she will be so disappointed with you. You say." I am sorry for not talking about it sooner, I am truly sorry,i know i have screwed up big time. You are very important factor in my life and hope you can forgive me for my mistake. I am SORRY" THEN shut the f@#K up and get what you deserve. Coz baby you deserve what you are getting.
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"Kill that desperation"-POOK (Master Don Juan)
freedom replied to grneyedscotsman's topic in Dating Advice
THis guys is how shallow we have become. F#@king hell, we have got to a stage where we are lieing to get f#@king laid. (Which by the way is not new. ) But, good impressions are good, but you have to change on the inside too. It nice play these superfical "GAMES" and i repeat "GAMES" but woman are smart they'll figure out and then they will dump your arse unless you really change yourself. F!@k! these bullsh!t games that people play and you know what? Woman come in here complaining about guys like you playing them out. They then get advice on how it is done, go back and play it on someone else. Sick f%#king mind "games". FIGURE OUT who you are, KNOW who you are and dont take any sh1t for it. If anything compromises your self worth dump their ass. It isnt a attitude thing, it is a self worth thing. And men and women alike are attracted to people that know their self worth. -
ack... tacky bastard. don't let him think he got away with it. I am sorry for what has happened, this is going to be challenging for you. Your self worth and your principles has been affected so you will have to do something about. You'll have to confront him, dont let him think he can get away with it. Then get a consellor, someone that you can confide in that is firmilar with this area. If you dont handle this the right way, it will affect you for life. Again i am so sorry for what i have been through, you have to be strong, get your chin up. Understand that this is not totally your fault. Get the help and support you need. Sorry i can help more.
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Oh yes, REMEMBER this all, the term SOULMATE is dangerous, very dangerous. For it causes you and your partner to live in a fake reality. Where you think that things will work out. But sometimes it doesnt, and the pain becomes SOOOOoooo immense that you question why you live as your soul mate is being torn from you. You question the fact that if they were your soul mate why would god do such a thing. You question everything. It can be far worst that knowing the fact the one day your partner says "i love you" and the next they say "i am leaving you" simply because you can accept that love never last forever but soulmate does. SO be careful when you use it and be careful when someone else use it on you!! PEACE
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Solution? Did i hear you say soluton? Albert Einstein, probably the smartest man on earth couldnt even come close. He was able to work out the theory realitivity that light does curve and time is capable of bending. But is unable to truly define what love is, what chance for us mare mortals under his shadow come up with the soloution of love? 2 parallel line do not intersect, just like this free thinking guy is unable to truly define love to everyone but himself. What is love? Shakespeare anyone? What is love? 'tis not hereafter; Present mirth hath present laughter; What's to come is still unsure: In delay there lies no plenty; Then come kiss me, sweet and twenty, Youth's a stuff will not endure.
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Thank you dear Sir or should i say Madam for tis you that encoraged me to continue this provoking conversation. We shall toast to one another for farther colloquy of this type.
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modesty my friend is a good trait . ....
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"hear, all ye good people, hear what this brilliant and eloquent speaker has to say!"
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Ahhh the age old qeution that many people have tried to analyize. Even Albert Enstein had problems with this one. What perspective would you like? Everyone has their own description on what love is. Scientist will say Hormones, Pheromones and chemical that affect how our brain works Zoologist will say animal instinct to procreate. Astologist will says it is in the stars Mathematitions will says it is in the probability curve. and me, well me i will say my big heart that i want to share with someone that want to share hers with me. I'm a little boy and will show you mine if you will show me yours. I am a Romantic.
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True love? there is true love not equal love. Anyway, being in love mean that you have to give up control. How many of us out there can do that. Very very few. in fact society doesnt allow us to do that unless we go back to the jungle. Society continually puts fears in our way. Fears of Totally trusting someone thus losing ourselves. Many of us here don't realise that control is the cause of fear. We try to control our fears thus we cannot totally let go. True love is the acceptance of letting go of control to one another. Trust is believing the the other will not abuse true love. So says Freedom. Amen
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Funny me being Cynical, as i am in this situations. Here are my observations. SOUL MATE, many people dont realise the dangers of using the term "SOULMATE". Not knowing that they will open a huge can of woop_arse kicking when these words are used. It is nearly as dangerous as using the words "I LOVE YOU". The words soulmate brings about unexpected and unrealistic expectations that "THE ONE" is able to connect with you, and also that "THE ONE" is capable and has the responsiblity of taking care of the relationship LIKE YOU DO. NOT SO!! relationship still have to developed the same way, through communcation and through alot of work to survive the pit falls. Dont take the words soulmate so lightly as it means even harder work because of the expections in the intial comuncation that you both share. "You are the one" can mean similar but doesnt imply the unrealistic expectations that come along with "YOU are my SOULMATE!" SO conclusion, dont trivalise these two sentences, "I LOVE YOU" "YOU ARE MY SOULMATE" Unless you are ready to suffer the pain of great disappointment
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I have trouble with people who aren't as knowledgable as i a
freedom replied to gianni's topic in Personal Growth
you may have a control issue, in that you have expect pple to reach your standards, and at times they surpast it which knocks the wind outta you Consider that. You dont have to change completely, just understand that things outside you are not under your control and only you are able to control yourself. Ppl out there do not and will not meet your expectation. Why should they, after all, they have their own agender and most likely you dont even come close to meeting their expectations. So does it matter wht they expect of you? Not really, cos they cant control you to meet their expectation. So, to the point, be realistic about yourself, have your our expectations about yourself and have your control with yourself, But put aside the idea of having ppl meet your expectations cos that aint going to work, cos you cant contol that. -
Flora, thanks you for sharing your lovely msg, i admire you for having the guts to stop all relationship to do some self growth. I now understand better why women do it. Thank you again for sharing
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I suppose the best explaination to my question is.... Even though she might like chocolate, she might not be in the mood for chocolate, may right now she like to have the 101 flavours of baskin robbins, and even if chocolate lands in front of her she will give it a miss because it is the wrong timing. RIGHT?
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yeah you are right. interesting analogy. hmmm.. i would not question that... just trying to understand it. lets say the vanilla is chocolate. and she like that particular chocolate...erhhh.. i see what you mean ... it is choice. really nothing to understand. just i suppose... hmmm. i suppose i am hmmm. a romantic?
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Nepolean, errhhhh it a guy that ask our opinion... i am stating that the girl has made a decision not to go against the parents.
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I know there is nothing wrong choosing to be single. Just that i suppose when the right one comes along most people will jump for it. But consciously giving it up for singlehood well that is a little hard to swallow. I mean i have a friend that actually did that, and it blew me away. I suppose there is so many of us out there looking for the right person, that having someone i know actually giving up the perfect guy, well, damn, i wish i was that lucky. Andbefre any of you say how do i know if that guy was the right guy... Well, she said so, "the perfect guy, a soulmate, but i have choosen to live my life as a single." I say waste. but that is my judgemental perspective.
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Q) If your LTR ex begs for friendship and you say 'NO'
freedom replied to law's topic in Getting Back Together
Hmmm sounds to me the last bit of the control game. Jezzzz i get so sick of these control games. You sound like you have your head on straight man, take you sword out and cut the line! she stabbed you with the dagger, use to sword to cut all ties. Live it up man, its hard but you sound like a solid guy. Stop the game. You'll be better off. You know i know it I really don't understand why woman think that you have have a good friendship after a bad breakup? what is it with this friendship thing? Is it coz they can have you there "JUST in case". Break glass when needed? I know that i am just skipping shy of being sexist but you dont really hear many guys saying, " Hey, i am dumping you and going to another woman, but i want you to be my best friend" i mean what is it all about? It is the last bit of control thing that they get a kick out off? or is it cos they want the last sentence in the conversation as they can feel they had the last word? Sorry Law, your situation, really has me a little fired up...