judgeinjury

Just gut through it, and try not to do anything too embarrassing I found enotalone after my 4 and half year relationship ended in March. She moved away and is now with someone else, and we have talked maybe 3 times in the past 3 or 4 months. She just needed to be her own person. And I was looking for someone who wanted to be in a commited relationship. It just wasn't meant. I just called her today out of the blue, and it's weird to see how different my own feelings really have become with time. I still love her as a person, but I don't love the person she has become. I have finally realized how over her I am, and I feel just so great I can't put it into words. I always thought I'd hold out forever, heck I had even written the word "always" beneath a picture of ours that hung on my wall for a few months. But the truth is you do eventually lose the feelings, no matter how hard you try or how strong it was. You really do. For all the people out there who are just horribly, horribly depressed. It gets better. It really, really does. You eventually move on, the suicidal thoughts disappear, even the "great" idea to go kill the new guy goes away as well. You can actually look back at the good times and even laugh about just how pathetic you have been acting. Wallow in misery, get drunk, get laid, whatever you way of coping is, but just know that your life is far from over, and the one for you is still out there just waiting to be discovered. It takes time, but that old cliche is very, very true.

It's kind of funny really. My girl of 4 years and some change left me back in February and while I am a lot better now, though we are unfortunately done forever, I was a wreck for a few weeks there. Anyways, my brother has been through this and he gave me the best advice to ensure that you act "normal" infront of your ex. Guys, and girls presumably, spank your monkey like right before you see her, call her, e-mail her, etc. I just did almost four weeks of no contact only to blow it all by crying on the phone tonight and calling her back too late sobbing like a weak douchbag. If I had just choked my chicken and achieved the "enlightened" sense of euphoria that accompanies whacking off, I would have been able to maintain my composure, and not feel like such a moron right now. Crying is not attractive, it only guilts them, which doesn't get her back to you at all. So if you are crying while you dial her number, writing up a 10 page "I still love you" letter, or putting together a 20k e-mail with some Browning poetry or whatever, stop it and get on this here interweb and take care of some bidness first. Hey it's all out there, no matter what you tastes are sailor, for free no less. Then put down the phone, trash the letter, and delete that monster e-mail. Trust me, it wouldn't have worked anyway, I know from experience. But if you must have poetry, here's a little couplet to help you stay cool in front of her the next time you see her: If you want to get her back, before you talk, take time to jack. Good luck!

Hello all, I'm two months out of a 4 and half year relationship, and just found this site a week or three ago. I want to say thanks to everyone who has posted here, your stories and advice helped me to see that I wasn't alone or going through something that nobody understood. I'm not 100% yet, but I am getting there and I owe a part of my recovery to the support and kindness shown on these boards. It makes me happy to think people who are hurting (just like me) have somewhere they can go for help from complete strangerswho have been through it and know how it feels. I wish I had found this site earlier. I did all the stupid stuff (flowers, letters, e-mail, impromptu visits, death threats to the new guy ) and amazingly enough none of that stuff worked! I smile now, but at the time I genuinely thought it was a smart play. At least I know I'm not alone on this either So I'm finally moving on, and just wanted to say thanks to everyone here for taking the time to post their experiences and answers. You just can't force someone to love you, they either do or don't. It's just that simple. I am going to see my ex's parents one last time this week, get back my gamecube from her sister, and get my pc printer, then I guess that's it. I have been doing no contact now for three weeks, and it has helped me heal so much. I suggest it to anyone. Take time off to really examine what you need as opposed to what you want, and I think you might be surprised. Don't let emotion cloud over your better judgement. As much as it sucks, sometimes what you want more than anything is not what you really need. Thanks again all, Phil