Napoleon Bonaparte

Not at all. I would do it in a graveyard. (and no I am not one of those dorky goths)

Dn Tracy Cox Super Flirt 2. How to many anyone fall in love with you. 3. Here's one website by the way. //link removed Ah and as far as my own experience goes, I have found sudden interest and more success when I did my own advice. Too bad I had lost interest by the time I did this. And I know people it has worked for.

lol dragon. I wasn't actually serious. I was talking about screwing with your clothes OFF in an arcade. It was a joke. No, screwing with your clothes on in a public place is sorta white trash. I think screwing (with your clothes off) in a grave yard is kinda hot.

Dn actually NC IS a way to get somebody back, and several books have been written on that by people successful at giving relationship advice. I also have seen it work quite a few times PERSONALLy. You can't just do NC and get them back. You have to combine NC while changing the dynamics of the interaction when you both talk again and letting them do the work (if they are willing) to always make contact with you....But I ain't gonna go into this further cuz it's off topic... Instead I am gonna ask if you have listened to her other posts. 1. Yes she treated him like crap. She has been punished for it. She has also admitted she was wrong. She has since not treated him like crap and he has been hateful, dishonest, and manipultive torwards her. I for one can sure as hell hold a grudge. But for how long? Eventually, (and it doesn't take four months) I say, okay I forgive them (although that doesn't mean I'll neccesarily trust them again). The strategy here is not to use NC 'to get him back' (although it would work if combined with several other tactics I'd wager as I already have said) or to treat him like crap for the way he has been acting these past few months. The strategy is to heal. He isn't going to treat her reasonably right now if she was to cautiously woo him back, and from her statements I think she has quite a bit of rage and bitterness herself directed at him. So the damage has been done on both sides. And even if she does put all of her anger aside (which regret, I'm not sure that you can do at this point after reading your posts), you still can't make him let go of his hate, misery, and anger too. That's his choice and he has already made it abundently clear he wont do it right now. Right now they both need distance from each other so they can calm down and take time out from each other. Not just her. But him too. There needs to be a healing period. Personally I hate the games people play with each other. But no one is suggesting it.

Dragon oh jeeze, don't be such a bore. Immature? Who wants a mature lover during sex? That's what I call a BORING lay. I am more interested in spontenuity and adventure. And yes cornfields are great ('one' of the best actually) and romance is wonderful, but sometimes kinky and impulsive can be fun.

I think women have demonstrated historically they are quite capable of murder, pain, backstabbing, causing suffering and yes, war. They have just had less opportunities than men. A few examples. 1. Both Agrippina and Caesar Caludius' first wife. 2. Cleopatra (although I think she was still a good leader.) 3. Catherine the Great 4. Bloody Mary 5. Queen Elizabeth. 6. Lucretzia Borgia (although I think she MIGHT have been judged unfairly.

Saren this guy sounds like a grade A loser. If spending money on girls and demanding they be rail thin is what he wants to do then the loser deserves the kind of relationships he's gonna get.

Supr femminists irritate me to no end. Blah. I don't think taking the initative really has anything to do with being dominant. But i think if men and (esp) women did have to deal with what the other went through it would 1. Help people find the right mates (or at least have more good sex) quicker. 2. It would improve communication between the two genders and help them become more self-reliant.

If he contacts you do not pick up. Write him an e mail saying under no conditions do you want to contact him right now. Tell him in the e mail if you decide to ever speak with him again it will be your decision, not his. That he isn't acting like the man you once knew. Do not go into further detail. Then tell him if he e-mails you back, you will delete it without reading it. And if he continues to call you you will either 1. Change your phone number. 2. Delete any messages before listening to them. you don't need to hear his voice right now. Anything you do to come in contact with him or those things that you once shared together will only remind you of him and pull the scab lose once it starts to heal. You gotta be stalwart and strong about this. Don't listen to your friends. If he had been honest (to everybody) and acted like he used to, it wouldn't have come to this. I am not gonna say whether or not he will go back to his old self. In life, anything is possible. He's missing you yeah, we tend to start to love again what we can't have. But I ain't gonna say anything to give you false hope. And if he is missing you (or even if he is still madlyin love with you) so what? Do you think he wont start to act abusive and dishonest once he's comfortable you are his again? When the wrong person loves you it can be just as destructive as hate.

In my opinion, in the bathroom stall (if it's clean) or better yet, in front of everybody else ( as long as security or kids aren't present).

Regret it is important to remember that once he knows he "has you" (yes it's silly and immature but unfortunately 'we' -- both men & women -- all do it -- we feel comfortable and in control once we know we can have the other person. Once the ball is in his court, he can taunt you with his gf position and have you without having to invest anything. God I hate that...It's annoying. 1. If you were a a bit.. when you were with him it doesn't matter. The fact is you have suffered and demonstrated you love him and want to be with him. What more can you do? Here's what troubles me more than anything. Not how he's treated you (which in a fit of grief is STILL not acceptable) but how he's treated this girl who he is with. Think about it. He has admitted he's cheated on her emotionally and physically. It sounds like a major character flaw. The fact tha he didn't do it to you is supposed to get you to want him back? I know you're in love with him but let me ask you something. Now that he's seen you vulnerable, and now that he has (as you yourself have admitted) changed, imagine him getting back with you. Imagine what things are like two years from now when the infatuation has cooled and turned into real day to day love. Then some girl comes along, they always do, who ignites his sexual lust. He might rationalize how you treated him previously (since he is already doing it now in other ways) and use that as a reason to cheat. Maybe it wont happen, but if it did it would be consistent with the kind of selfish attitude he has shown recently. Right now, whatever you do, you can't give in. If you are gonna contact him, at least step back first and do NC for several months, and when you feel calmer, IF he has since tried multiple (and i do mean multiple) times to get a hold of you, shows signs of truly going back to his old HONEST NOT psychotic self (not just with you but with the people he's interacted with between that time, like his present girlfriend) then you can allot him limited phone interaction briefly -- mostly just listening calmly (don't be baited, if he baits you or manipulates, hang up and don't try again) and then promise to send him an e mail which will discuss under what conditions you are willing to further interact with him. An e-mail will allow you to reveal what you are comfortable revealing to him about your perspective of the matter, how you've since changed, what you expect from him, your own personal boundaries, and you'll be able to edit unwanted emotion where it needs to be edited. I personally think a healthy relationship between the two of you is at present doomed. Where you weren't ready for one before, now he's the problem and he's acting immature about this. I am sorry, unless you cheated on him with both his father and brother, there is nothing else you could have done to him that should make you the target for three months of manipulation, taunts, cruelty and other types of retribution. My solution is only if you MUST leave the door open for getting back with this guy and aren't willing to get over him first before you even speak to him. I personally think he needs to evolve before he can be in a healthy relationship again. And at this point in your lives you two aren't meant to be together. And that means for you, finding somebody else. Really, do you want to be with someone who is acting psychotic? Who no longer has respect for you? He's, as you said, acting like a major loser, and a whack job (and this is coming from a whack job) and I think getting back with him would be a major mistake. Does he still love you? Yeah. But remember, hate isn't the opposite of love, ambivalence is.

God obviously did put people on earth with more than they can bare which is why they kill themselves or go crazy in the first place. People don't kill themselves because they feel hope or alternatives to their suffering. Nor do I really think God would be so petty as to punish someone for acting out of desperation to end their suffering. Plus what about all those cultures where suicide is lauded? Japan, ancient Israel, the muslim world, aztec's human sacrifices, certain ancient cultures. etc etc. Tell me, do any of you know the genetics and psychology behind suicide? And as far as "someone worse off" that isn't neccesarily true. There are people suffering far more emotionally and psychologially in America than 'many' people in third world countries.

Bradon lol not a biggie. If everybody agreed life would be..boring. I like debating and hearing people who disagree with me.

Saren I wasn't confusing the two of you. I wanted to know both your stories. I must admit having met soooo many types in this world, I am totally at a loss for words (which is very rare) about this guy. Usually there is method in every madness but this guy sounds friggin nuts. Of course he's unable to control his insecurity in a mature manner and might have abandonment issues, but without hearing more I have no clue why he acted that way...What was his past history?

Dutty you say most 26 yr old guys aren't good when it comes to serious commitments as if that's a bad thing.

Saran, shey tell about your instances. What happened? How long were you friends for? Why was he repulsed? What did he do? Why were you manipulated? Did you know he had a gf?

Shes it doesn't have anything to do with hard wiring. At least I have yet to see credible evidence for that. Anyway, part of it could have just been your luck. I do however believe culture produces possibly as much destructive force in our lives and mindsets as it does positive. I still mantain girls should have just as much responsibility in the matter as guys. God only knows (white) females are spoiled enough in society as it is.

Supreme girls SHOULD have to ask guys out. People should be burdened with the responsibility and decisions to pursue who they wish without gender custums. And I am stalwartly opposed to modern day femminists on 90% of their ideas and attitudes. They disgust me. But in dating, everything should be fair. That being said, I agree (although I am not sure what it had to do with my question) on the rest of what you wrote.

Brando it's definitely a waste. There is nothing they could learn about love that would be worth 18 years with the wrong person when they coulda learned whatever special knowledge that is (which I am not sure what) it with someone better in half that time. Sometimes in life, we waste our time and effort making the wrong decisions.

Who ended the relationship? You or him

Hmmm I notice on here that most of the guys are suffering because they end up falling for a female friend who still only sees him as a friend. That doesn't seem to happen as much to the females. They fall less for their close guy friends but have their own problem. However, and I could be wrong, it seems like the females get dumped more on here than the guys because the guys on here haven't made third base. Why do posters think that is? Is there a barrier here of communication and suffering that divides the sexes and prevents happy liasons or is it just the type of people drawn to notalone? Or maybe I (who hasn't looked THAT much) simply am mistaken, which I totally admit might be the case.

Shy get back to me once you have had sex with her. Showing interest, cuddling, maybe a kiss or flirting is one thing, but you still haven't made it to second base yet.

Shadows the divorce rate is 50/50, most of the divorces coming out of the bible belt. The woman is a tad more likely to file for divorce. Like 6 or 7 % points. That of course doesn't mean her partner doesn't agree to it. However wasting 18 years on someone when both of you turned out to be unfaithful and one of you doesn't care is indeed a waste of time and emotion.

Upon waking up this morning I felt the need to go into a diatribe. First: I have lost almost all interest in sex. Having been abstinant now for two and a half years, and having been pretty much posioned, enraged, or put off by any woman I have been close two since then except for my ex who is also my best friend, I feel pretty empty. Suddenly I am totally bored with porn. I can't get an erection looking at it anymore. Sometimes I might as well just be trying to wank to static. The beautiful girls on there don't turn me on anymore. Second, whenever i tried to visualize a woman sexually, I can't. It's like I draw a blank. I can't even sexually visulize anything anymore except in brief flashes. And when I do, I am left vacant. I am not angry at women. I am quite fond of most of the females that I know. I simply left feeling that I am going to die. That the world is going to end in a burning star. That my youth has been spent miserable. etc, etc la la, la la. It's not self-pity. I have felt that before. I feel more gratitude than anything. Mostly just a sense of...emptiness? Loss? Furthermore, my appendage, which used to measure at (I say 7 1/2, my lover said eight) can't get beyond five at the most anymore. There is no blood flow and it bends. At first I thought this indifference was because I missed my meds yesterday, and once about five days ago, but then I realized I already was having this problem. Then I thought maybe it was the meds, but they never did that before. Now I feel such anger, such bitterness, my heart is full of mercury. I imagine there are microscopic cackling witches in my brain holding giant spoons. These witches are standing besides my gushing synaptic bridges full of neurotransmitters and are scooping my happy chemicals out of my dendrites and axons. Everyday I wake up wondering when I am gonna be an old man and my chance at living my dreams will have passed me by. If I had known when I was a teenager that I was gonna feel this way up until this point I'd probably have sucked on a gun. However I am not suicidal. Not full of life. Not anything. Except maybe a dettached sort of appreciation of how the world and everybody around me is essentially gonna die and be forgotten about. At least the meds are spurting enoughn serotonin through my brain to make things tolerable for the moment. Still tolerant isn't enough. And my shrinks are and have been some of the best, most prestigious in the world. Go figure. Hmmm. That diatribe felt good. Ahh feel a tad more positive now. Ain't great, but man that felt much better. Time to go get breakfast.

you can't focr somebody to work on a relationship, but you can put them in a position that may well force them to reconsider.