Rose Mosse

One day at a time. Not sure if you are employed right now or interested in applying elsewhere. In any case if this relationship ends, take a time out and give yourself time to decompress/re-evaluate where you want to go from here.

It might be hard to see her efforts if both of you communicate differently and there's long distance thrown in the mix. I still think dating locally is a better than trying to date long term out of country. DF makes good points about relocation. Take more time to rethink and revamp what you know about yourself. Work out, make new friends, date within your city/town, get to know different people. Reconsider the wife with kids. At 52 I'd rather be stern with myself and a little more realistic about those things not happening, upping my quality of life not worrying or putting that kind of pressure on myself. Maybe you need to make peace with a few things and why you want to have a family so badly if it's causing you to lose money, sleep, time or causing you to question yourself and be so miserable. I'm not saying to let go of your dreams totally but hold them loosely in the palm of your hand and just let things be. Logic would follow that it's much more reasonable and realistic to relocate and date locally if you want to mingle with other ladies with similar mindset as you. Open up the dating pool, in-person. It's your happiness first and foremost so don't let anyone walk all over that.

Let us know how it goes. Expecting the worst of each other by the way is a sign that things are not at what they should be. If you expect defensiveness why even bother with discussing anything at length? You're setting her or both of you up for arguing some more, and then blaming her for being the reason of the demise of the relationship. In reality you've already checked out. I'd encourage you to be more honest about the way you feel about her and don't use her reactions to you as a reason to leave. That gets tiring and annoying after awhile. If she hasn't caught on already, she probably will.

Be honest and end it first if you're going to "keep other options open". You don't have to lower your standards so low that they are rock bottom and you start to feel ill or bad about yourself and what you're going on about. Shrug off that fear of loneliness because I think your dates will sense that desperation and need regardless of culture or background. I'm sorry this isn't working out with your current relationship.

Congrats!!

Fabulous!!

It doesn't have to be creepy or confusing. You might want to ask for input from women as well if you need more outside opinion. A lot of young people (especially women) tend to be stuck in the service industries which means they're customer or client facing. It might be confusing to you because she's got great customer service skills. A woman who makes the first move and circles you is letting you know she is interested. This woman, on the other hand, appears to be doing her job. When I was a lot younger I was stuck with a 60-65 coworker who kept hovering over me, making (the same) jokes, he would be there first thing in the morning when I arrived at work under the pretense of doing something near my desk, make an effort to always chat with me when there was no one else around in the office and made inappropriate comments about my dress, my weekend, make inquiries as to my personal life. I began to go out of my way to avoid this person and it ate up time in my day when I could have been working. It certainly was creepy. As a young(er) woman, I made excuses that he was just friendly or I had to do my job or it was part of the job to get hit on by older males or have to interact in very inappropriate ways just to keep my job. If I was uncomfortable or I said anything to anyone about it, for a time I thought this would compromise being employed. Who would listen to me? He had been with the company for far longer and it was his word against mine. This guy was very persistent. You are seeing her as an option. The receiving end is very different. My suggestion is to keep things as respectful as possible even if you do ask her out for coffee (keep it simple, clean and like you're ripping off a bandaid) and consider your ages because there are some gaps that are just not realistic. Be real with yourself and what you're looking for in a partner overall. If she says no to the coffee, don't approach her again and keep your conversations civil and respectful.

There is no way to do this tactfully. You will look like a creep and put someone else in a very tough situation, resenting her job. Friendly does not mean let's go for drinks when you are 30 years her senior and she is forced to interact with you because she needs to pay the bills. Try dating outside of work and don't hit on or make inappropriate comments to anyone you deal with professionally.

Write here, lean on the forum, talk with friends too (trusted friends). I have been following the thread and quietly cheering you on. Good for you with the applications and interviews!

In your original post it sounded like he had morning breath but this a lot different if he hasn't even brushed his teeth the night before. I think you should be tactful and kind and tell him that you'd love to get closer to him if he'd freshen up more often. You don't have to go so far back to issues in your childhood. I don't think you are being too critical. If you can't be honest with your family (ie your husband) what is the whole point of marriage in the first place. Be honest with him and don't be afraid to speak up. It's strange that you both are so different but if you're committed to your marriage, I hope you both can commit to working this through.

Give her space and let her come to you. If someone doesn't feel comfortable speaking with you, don't force it. Re-evaluate whether this relationship is fulfilling to you overall. You'll get more replies also if you start your own thread. I'm sorry her mum passed.

Please get checked for STDs. If he's cheated on you while on vacation with randoms, you need to get checked if you've slept with him afterwards. It doesn't matter if you used protection or not, get tested. As for the relationship, it's over. The more you keep working yourself into a pretzel trying to appear more appealing, the irony is the less and less appealing you will be. This is because the other person no longer respects you and you have lost your own personal beliefs and your core. Everything that you describe being in love with him? Imagine that changing and altering. That's what's happening when he views you. He knows both of you are incompatible and very different but he's not pressuring you to be committed to him. Do both of yourselves a favour and step back from this. He is not the one for you.

You'll survive. Failed relationships generally leave most people distressed. You are not alone. Just leave and don't look back. Focus on leaving and getting to a better place. Besides, if you're leaving, why would you want to fall in love in Iran. Are you worried possibly of not being able to leave?

This is a massive breakthrough for you if you're able to work through this in marriage counselling. You have to be honest about the issues from your first marriage and how it's impacted any trust or communication problems in your second marriage. Repair the trust between your current wife and you now. Both of you have to reaffirm that you choose each other and it's not out of obligation or fear of something else - fear of being lonely, fear of having a child out of wedlock (when she got pregnant) for example. I think if you can affirm your decision to be together and that commitment to each other it can work but I agree it takes two, a lot of work and dedication and loyalty from the both of you. That means deciding day after day after day to commit to each other and dedicate a big part of your life to the marriage and your life together. Childcare and raising your daughter or kids will come to both of you naturally once you stop avoiding how uncomfortable those issues are. If you haven't been caring for the kids or the marriage, it's only escaping reality and not being able to meet that responsibility or feel good doing so. Maybe this marriage won't work. You can want something a lot but it doesn't work in the end so you'll have to be prepared as mentioned earlier in one of the comments to keep working on yourself so that you can continue to be a good dad and improve as a person, regardless of whether this works out.

I did not speak about 'dating'. I said interested in the sentence after that in my post. The OP is not dating this 18 year old so while I agree with most of the sentiments that it's imbalanced, I think it's not what's going on here. There's interest, she's flattered, her mind is getting away with her thinking about his family might think. I'm letting her know that this is not one of a kind, unique or uncommon. Enjoy the attention but don't be surprised it doesn't work or there's very little interest overall over time.

This is very common, nothing out of the ordinary. People date decades outside of their ages regularly and there are plenty of young men interested in older women. I think if you stick around long enough or date around a bit you'll see them crop up as plentiful as mushrooms in a forest and it'll lose its appeal or lustre. You'll even stop worrying about what he thinks or what you think or what others think about you. Enjoy the company but don't be surprised if you begin to clash or lose interest eventually. Enjoy it for what it is.

I wouldn't make a big deal out of it unless you want this to be a scar or major issue in the marriage. People develop neuroses and anxieties from rejection or not feeling attractive enough. His BO or breath shouldn't stink that much if he is seeing a dentist or on a healthy diet. I remember when my ex (husband) was eating black truffles, garlic and parmigiano the day before though. That was something. It was coming out of his pores. You have to learn to laugh about these things. Don't take it too seriously or hurt each other. It's not worth it, imo. You never know when things will end or how life turns out. Don't make mountains of molehills. Enjoy your marriage and one another. Have sex whenever possible and like Lost says, if it's done right, sex should be sweaty, sticky and smelly anyway. You'll both probably have a shower afterwards. Enjoy life.. have fun with this and see how things go. The main issue I'd look at is healthy teeth and gums (seeing a dentist) and what kind of diet you both are on. This could be the tip of the iceberg for other incompatibilities or differences or part of larger health issues. If it isn't, I don't think it's a big deal. Oh and mouthwash stashed somewhere under the sink or in the bathroom somewhere is great for morning or mid-day/spontaneous fun or quickies.

The tattoo sounds like it represents who she is though. That's her personality - she goes out and does things based on her emotions (out of spite) and is impulsive. You asked for a divorce after one fight? What was it about? Both of you react strongly to each other and very quickly. I think this bothers you and seeing the tattoo bothers you because it keeps reminding you of your mistakes as a couple. Counselling can help but not if you aren't both honest with yourselves about the past and stopping that cycle of reactivity or strong impulse. Hope you're both able to get through this.

Hope you had a happy birthday!

Onto a new chapter. 😊 Good for you for having the courage to move forwards especially from a situation that you no longer find fulfilling nor adds to your life in any way.

That would upset me too. The next time someone suggests that it was your responsibility for something to not have happened or to have happened, can you review whether that was in your scope or duty? You can accept the responsibility then or choose to if you want. If you choose to take the responsibility, take charge of every aspect of the project and own the mistakes. It may seem infuriating and annoying but with time you might learn how to anticipate and avoid problems or learn tricks of the trade that help avoid those pitfalls. I think there are only two options for this situation: Embrace the responsibilities and ask for a raise (start taking more ownership in the role and giving more instructions about how you want to see things done). Or, remain in the current state and look to your bosses for answers. A lot of the time your boss might not know what's going on on a daily level and in order for something to get done, he/she doesn't understand the chain reaction or domino effect it has on process or the timeline for projects. You're a very capable person, Jibralta. I have always admired your mettle and can-do attitude with life. I think this is a learning curve but you'll learn quite a lot. That annoying grain of sand inside the oyster does become a pearl eventually(I'm referring to the annoying personalities/people or issues in at work becoming tidbits of growth and lessons).

Jibralta, this is a long shot and very difficult to do when we put our life into our work. Can you separate yourself emotionally from the bottomline or projects? I'm meaning accountability without the feelings of inadequacy or frustration. I'm wondering if there is a way to tackle each project or issue/person without attaching any emotion to the interaction and also ignoring any emotions from others regarding a given situation. This is hard to do if everyone around you is flinging blame around or aren't able to control themselves. It might also depend on your industry.

💗 more love! ❤️ That's fantastic.. so glad to hear, Bolt. Such great news! Enjoy family time tomorrow!

I like crystals! I don't like paranoia. 😊 Good thoughts, Blue.

Bolt, I hope the testing goes smoothly today. Just checking in.