the_peacemaker
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From what you had described, it seems like she's having doubts about the relationship between her and you, and of course her current boyfriend. I know that you're really hoping for more than just being friends with her. Can you try to ask her what's going on between her and her bf? Because knowing her side of the story will really help on what you should do next. And I bet you two are both shy persons, from what you hinted early that she sighed and looked at you. So i would say if she's unsatisfied with her bf, then may be you can get her out and tell her EVERYTHING once and for all. If she likes you, then she'll be so happy. If not, at least you did your best..
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i think you deserve to tell her how you feel, and let her make a choice. It seems really unfair for you. Good luck.
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Your family seem to favour a male in your family regardless of what he does. This awfully sounds like a traditional conservative family to me. Anyway, who cares about your brother, your life is yours, so stop comparing yours to his. It is quite questionable about why your parents are treating you this way, have you ever gotten your gut and ask him directly, "just why don't you like me?" or "why don't you care about me?", and see what do they say about you. I can't say anything at this moment because there's a different story in every family. Oh, a question for you, are you really that different, outcast, punk, goth? Is that your real personality or you're only forcing yourself that way so as to be rebellious to your family? correct me if i'm wrong. And if favouring a male character in your family is a traditional thing, i bet there's really nothing you can do because your parents' minds are settled for what they were educated with in the past. Just try to become lovable to them, think of all the happy moments in the past and any pleasant memories. I am sure you're not borned to be hated; there's gotta be a reason. So try adjusting that in favor of your parents. i mean, at least they've brought you to life. Think about what you would be missing out if they weren't around anymore.
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It seems to me that you're very unsatisfied with all the unfairness going on in life and you're trying to look for the true meaning of life, just who control birth and death and what is the meaning of our existence. These are difficult questions and i believe no one right now can provide you with a straight answer. i.e An apple is red. Regarding unfairness in life, take the people who are in say.. Africa who doesn't have enough food and water. What makes you think those people are suffering? To me, it's all relative. Probably in the eyes of those people, they're enjoying the best in the life time, having friends and family altogether, working hard physically to get what they need to live. Rather the business man with lots of money in a big city is not necessary the happiest man, nor a happy man. Every minute he could be worried about his finance in business, stock market.. or an uncurable sickness. If you stop comparing for a second and look deeper, each person is assigned with different responsibilities and happiness does not necessarily come from physical materials. I wouldn't say this world is 'fair', but at least most people should be thankful about their presense. It's you to control how much you want to enjoy the best out of this life, not some spiritual force.
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I totally agree with what pip just said. Often two people with opposite personalities Do attract! When two people has the same interest, personalities.. etc, things become predictable and boring. let say if there were two shy lovers, both of them won't talk and respond properly, the relationship will not be successful. So in my theory, it takes one passive and one active lover to get it going. don't grieve over it too much, you'll find someone else in the future. they are all over the world.
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Can you tell us a little bit more of why do you put up such a big fight with your mom, like how is she controlling you? And i see that you're under a lot of pressure, is it solely from your mom or there's another agent? Try talking to a close friend about your situation, it reallyhelps. Don't hide all those unhappy feeling, let them out! Like just_smile said, when you're really concentrated into doing something, you pretty much forget *temporarily* about all the pressure you suffered from. However, i say to get down to the root of your problem. So talk to a good friend.
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That really has nothing to do with the scarcity you were talking about. anyway, why would you want to "disappear" for a while? it sounds like an immature idea to me. just talk to her as usual. And if you are interested in her "too", you should signal to her that you are. She'll give up pretty soon if she waits too long
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help me please :( sorry its so long
the_peacemaker replied to Spredn311luv's topic in Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend Relationships
Correct me if i'm wrong, sounds to me that the guy is enjoying his dual relationship, having you and his ex... When a guy has this many girls all over him, he's prolly too busy to comfort them all. In this case, he has chosen his ex over you already.. he already made his decision. So my suggestion would be to stay being friend with him. -
I've been in a similar situation as you for my first love. We've broken up eventually. Anyway, when a girl says that she won't love you as much as before, it basically means that you've done something really bad to her that really hurt her feeling so hard to recover that she's afraid of reconciling with you. i personally don't think the apologizing or sweet things you say right now will help. I would hold back and treat her with respect like when you met her before and show her what a great guy you really are from the start. Hope this helps.
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Sounds like that's the case to me. One thing i can tell is that she's pleased with your presense.
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First, please control your desire to reach her or anything like that, because that will just hold her back away even more. Be nice to her as usual and she'll make her choice. This is a critical time to do anything stupid. Wish you luck with that girl, although i don't think it's that good of an idea to steal someone's girlfriend.
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I think that analogy is little too extreme in comparison to what a relationship is. It is of course possible to get your ex back, but the relationship will not be as strong as before. I'd say you both will have to gain trust from each other starting from zero. Remember how you chased this girl at first? Although you don't have to do it all over, the effort is the same that you'll need to strengthen up this relationship. However, one big rule to follow is that to never talk about any unhappy events in the past i.e the main reason that you two had broken up. Don't apologize for what you did or she did or anything like that, because this is a fresh start. hope this helps
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In my opinion, you can't control how fond she is of that friend of yours (neither your anxiety toward this relationship obviously). I would say to just enjoy the best out of it, do what you guys normally do and get the best out of this relationship. IF you really see something between those two, THEN you can start to question whether she really loves you. May be even ask her "would you be happier with him instead of me?". But that's really far off from your situation right now from what i've been. It's mostly your illusinations of her liking that guy.
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where is the exit? to leave or not to live a university
the_peacemaker replied to Ruby's topic in Personal Growth
Hi Ruby, We all are confused with what we are doing at some point in our lives. Having been nourished for so long by your parents, you hadn't learned to make your own decision. I know because I am at the exact situation as you, too. Right now you've starting to learn the meaning of individualism, that is, no one should be allowed to CHOOSE a path for you to take, but they can help you along the way. Anyway, how many more year(s) of studies do you have left? If it's only a year or two. I would say finish with your diploma because it's gonna help you look good in the real world. If that law diploma takes more than 3, 4 years, and you already have some idea what you "really" want to do (i mean really think about this), then i'd say drop that law dip. and go for what you always wanted to do. Just don't listen to what your relatives and parents say now, listen to yourself, because 3 years can really make a difference in your spirit and energy. Think about the time you'll "waste" if you don't like being a lawyer that much. hope this helps.