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Thread: I want my ex back but she is engaged?!? Help!

  1. #51
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    How do you know that it's not the family confiscating her phone?
    Originally Posted by Dr Whom
    I did not reach out to her...she actually just texted me if I used her work discount??? How should I respond?
    Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #52
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    Originally Posted by Dr Whom
    Traditions are the first to erode in a new country...eventually all that remains will be the food.

    I was raised catholic so we are already the same religion. If I was given the chance, I would have asked her mother to be formally engaged. I would have learned Arabic so we could attend church together and keep traditions. I play in 4 soccer leagues too so I am sure to find some Chaldeans for more info. I am not doing nothing unless she contacts me and breaks it off on her own free will.

    I dont think you quite understand the culture yet. It is a very small community, everyone knows everyone and if you do anything to dishonor the family, they will take the punishment out on her, not on you. Also, just because you are catholic doesn't mean you can attend their church and they are divided up into classes. You dont dare cross the line.
    As I said, tread very lightly as she is on a tight leash. It doesn't matter what her brother did or has done, he is in charge. If you want to get advice from people you play soccer with, then go for it, but mention no names. As I said, its a small community and if word gets back to the family that you are asking about her, then you are putting her health on the line.
    If that is what you want to do, good luck. But you are not going to beat the system.

  3. #53
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Agree. Being a rebel without a cause will not change thousands of years of tradition.

  4. #54
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    How do you know that it's not the family confiscating her phone?
    Why would they confiscate her phone, send me a nonsense message misspelling the same words she did, and then block me again. This message came three weeks after she said donít text. I have been NC since may 5th

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  6. #55
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Who knows? She like many others use someone to avoid the nightmare of arranged marriages. Ok chase her, be the hero and let her family kill or beat her. Why not research the traditions in her culture?
    Originally Posted by Dr Whom
    Why would they confiscate her phone, send me a nonsense message misspelling the same words she did, and then block me again. This message came three weeks after she said donít text. I have been NC since may 5th

  7. #56
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    Originally Posted by No1
    I dont think you quite understand the culture yet. It is a very small community, everyone knows everyone and if you do anything to dishonor the family, they will take the punishment out on her, not on you. Also, just because you are catholic doesn't mean you can attend their church and they are divided up into classes. You dont dare cross the line.
    As I said, tread very lightly as she is on a tight leash. It doesn't matter what her brother did or has done, he is in charge. If you want to get advice from people you play soccer with, then go for it, but mention no names. As I said, its a small community and if word gets back to the family that you are asking about her, then you are putting her health on the line.
    If that is what you want to do, good luck. But you are not going to beat the system.
    They already moved away and are estranged from their other family before I came along. I forgot the reason ( her eldest brother marrying American, her previous broken engagement, uncle problems? ).

    Not trying to beat the system...I donít want anything to happen to her. I didnít know I was a problem until this year...I had told her that her family would need to accept me or it wonít work.

  8. #57
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Who knows? She like many others use someone to avoid the nightmare of arranged marriages. Ok chase her, be the hero and let her family kill or beat her. Why not research the traditions in her culture?
    To be honest, I cannot find much online about Chaldeans aside from asking the father. I donít know if families beat or kill women in America...it is possible a Chaldean husband would do the same.

  9. #58
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    Sounds like you are going to do what you want. So good luck with whatever you decide to do. Just be warned, you are putting her health in danger.
    Good luck.

  10. #59
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    Originally Posted by No1
    Sounds like you are going to do what you want. So good luck with whatever you decide to do. Just be warned, you are putting her health in danger.
    Good luck.
    I donít think I can do anything...What can I do man? She still has my number, knows where I live. She has to contact me ( again ) I think because she told me not to contact her. If it was meant to be, It shouldnít have to be this hard.

  11. #60
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    Originally Posted by Dr Whom
    To be honest, I cannot find much online about Chaldeans aside from asking the father. I donít know if families beat or kill women in America...it is possible a Chaldean husband would do the same.
    Chaldeans do NOT kill women! They are Christians (Catholics) and mostly came here to escape persecution, oppression, etc, from Muslims. They are more similar in philosophy to Orthodox Catholic churches like Greek Orthodox, etc. than they do to Islam. The whole congregation comes to weddings and birthdays.

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