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Thread: Lazy family roommates

  1. #11
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    Basic hygiene standard are not just being ignored, it seems like a hostile and willful behavior. What you wrote about in the bathroom is disgusting and I sure would not tolerate it.

    Kick the BIL out. Find a different revenue source.

    Who cares that he is family. He can crap elsewhere.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Raise the BIL rent to hire a housekeeper. There done. If he doesn't like that, then relocate to more affordable lodging or offer a room to a student, kick the BIL out. As for the 16 year old son, tell him to get off his lazy butt and get a job to take some of the financial burden off of you...make him do simple chores like kitchen duty, his own laundry and room.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by undertheivy
    Financially :/
    Did you rent or buy a home that you can't afford on your own? If so, why?

    Being financially dependent on a roommate is not a very secure way to live.

    I suggest moving to a place you can afford on your own. Problem solved. Alternatively, a second job for you and/or your husband is another solution.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by smackie9
    Raise the BIL rent to hire a housekeeper. There done. If he doesn't like that, then relocate to more affordable lodging or offer a room to a student, kick the BIL out. As for the 16 year old son, tell him to get off his lazy butt and get a job to take some of the financial burden off of you...make him do simple chores like kitchen duty, his own laundry and room.
    That is exactly what I was going to suggest - since you already don't mind doing some cleaning have a biweekly housekeeper to do the deeper cleaning. If he wants her to clean his room (unless you want his room cleaned because of the odor) then raise his rent even more. But yes raise it so that he is chipping in for the maid -three way chip in with you and your husband doing 2/3rds as the son if he is not working shouldn't have to right now.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    As for the "cleaning fee". I understand where you're coming from. But it might come off as snarky. But who knows? maybe your husband will agree with you.
    I was thinking this.
    She's been vocal about the mess and nothing changes.
    They are roommates after all and can be evicted or the terms can change.
    Hire a housekeeper and up their rent to cover the costs, split 3 ways.
    Tell them you have no other choice, seeing the requests for shared responsibilities are continually ignored.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Hit him where it hurts: HIS wallet. I hope he contributes to the rent. Increase his rent and when he gets his act together by cooperating with cleaning his fair share, then revert to charging his previous monthly rent payment. I completely agree with the extra $50. rent "cleaning fee." Consider it a monthly cleaning deposit and sweeten the deal by telling him you'll reduce his rent to the previous amount IF he cooperates with cleaning up after himself.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    So you have a 3 bedroom with only one bathroom and all four of you are sharing the same bathroom?

    That's stressful all on its own without adding the mess.

    I recommend you do what my coworker did...when she and a family member were roommates and he was making her home life a living hell, she simply allowed the lease to run out and then rented a one bedroom. Sorry Family Member, no bedroom for you in my new place!

  9. #18
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    Thank you everyone for all the replies. To make it easier Iíll try and answer everyoneís questions here. Moving into something smaller and cheaper just isnít an option right now. We are getting a great deal for what we have and where we live, it would be impossible to find something cheaper. Right now we rent but in one week we will actually be buying the home - the landlord is ready to sell and my mom lives next door (my dad passed away just a few months ago unexpectedly, so I really love being next door and being close to her). But, I was thinking since we will be purchasing the home, maybe this is a great time to sit down and have a serious conversation with my BIL. things are going to need to change once we purchase the home. Because now itís ours and it needs to be taken care of and maintained. Iím thinking Iíll be honest with him and tell him, if things donít change and we continue to clean up after him, then rent is going to increase. I really do wish we didnít need him financially, but my husband and I both are artists and we are self employed. We make decent money but if we didnít have my BIL living with us it would just be too hard. The thing is, the BIL makes more money than both of us combined so maybe increasing the rent is what we should do. Iím first going to have more of a serious talk with my husband, and weíll talk more with my step son and get him to help out just a little more. Thanks again everyone for the advice

  10. #19
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    To Cherylyn, I really like this and I think itís what weíll end up doing! Thank you, because I was worried it would come off rude. But to be honest the way heís treating me and the house is even more rude, considering weíve asked him so many times over 7 years to just put in a little effort.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Just because he makes more money doesn't mean he should pay more.

    If you can't afford the place on your own, why buy it? You'll be digging yourselves into a hole that's very difficult to get out of. And what if the BIL on his own decides to move out? Would you have to foreclose?

    It just seems like you're forced to put up with a situation you don't like because you need his money. Home is supposed to be your peaceful safe haven, not somewhere where you have to have a slob living with you because you can't afford to pay for it otherwise.

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