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undertheivy

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About undertheivy

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  1. Thank you! It definitely has. Yes she currently sees 3 different therapists. 2 of them I know she sees pretty regularly. She’s also in a support group for children of alcoholic parents, and another support group every Sunday for people who have left a church. So she’s getting a lot of support but it doesn’t seem to be helping her much. Just to point something out, she told me recently she had a conversation with one of her therapists about a dilemma - long story short she’s hung up on a guy she dated many years ago. He’s married, and they don’t speak To each other or anything. But she told
  2. Melancholy, Billie, batya, dancingfool, thank y’all for your advice as well. I appreciate it. I did look up energy vampire and it fits her to a T. I went down a rabbit hole while researching and somehow wound up on some other things like personality disorders and narcissism. The more I looked into them the more those seemed to fit her well too.
  3. Definitely worth a shot. Thank you for the input.
  4. My husband and I do have stable jobs. He now owns his own shop and I am a successful and well known artist. My work has been published in 3 magazines the past year (twice in the last 6 months). I sell my work online, so both of our shops are doing great :) Great enough that we just purchased our first home together. My step son is 17 and in high school so he still lives with us. And BIL still lives with us but things have gotten so much better. We had a talk with him about doing his fair share, and his rent went up a little bit after we purchased the home. The main problem I had with BIL was l
  5. Danggg. That literally has nothing to do with this post but okay :)
  6. Yes, she does. She always has. She’s always been a great friend to me. Obviously when she’s having her meltdown moments the attention is all on her, but she has always been here for me, and she has always been a true friend. When my dad died she flew across the country that day to be here for me. She’s that kind of friend. It’s just been way more overwhelming than usual lately with her. That’s why I came here. My husband and I just bought a house and she was thrilled. I just got a new art studio and she was thrilled. She wants to send me a care package of goodies for the new house. She’s alway
  7. You’ve all given really great advice and helped open my eyes a little bit to some things I hadn’t really noticed. Thank you for that. Cherylyn, you made a lot of great points. All of you did.
  8. Not the same friend, completely different one.
  9. Hey everyone! So I need some advice on how to talk to my best friend about something without hurting her feelings or potentially causing her to have a nervous breakdown. She’s already hanging by a thread as it is. This is my best friend of 20 years. We’ll call her Amber. She lives in another state, she moved there for college right out of high school. But we’ve never gone more than a couple of weeks without speaking to each other. I’ll just get right to it - she is very emotional. She always has been, but it’s definitely gotten worse over the last few years. She’s been through a lot -
  10. I totally agree and think this is what I’ll do. And that’s what I’ve been struggling with - not wanting to scare him off but get it across to him that we need him to do his fair share. Thank you for your kind reply and advice!
  11. Thank you, that’s actually a good idea
  12. I wouldn’t charge him more just because he makes more money. He’s lived with us 7 years and we’ve always charged him a perfectly split and fair price. He pays exactly 1/3 of the bills. What I meant was because he does make plenty of money that it wouldn’t be hurting him financially to pay a $50 cleaning fee each month. A mortgage on the home will actually end up being cheaper than the monthly rent we are paying now, so affording it won’t be a problem. The nasty messes and laziness aside, he’s a great roommate. He’s gone a lot, when he is here he keeps to himself, he pays on time every mont
  13. Yes, we have a 3 bedroom 1 bathroom home. We’ve lived here for over 2 years. Before we had a 3/2 and I really miss having my own bathroom. I’m the only female in the home so yes, to say the least it is extremely stressful sharing a bathroom with 3 men..
  14. To Cherylyn, I really like this and I think it’s what we’ll end up doing! Thank you, because I was worried it would come off rude. But to be honest the way he’s treating me and the house is even more rude, considering we’ve asked him so many times over 7 years to just put in a little effort.
  15. Thank you everyone for all the replies. To make it easier I’ll try and answer everyone’s questions here. Moving into something smaller and cheaper just isn’t an option right now. We are getting a great deal for what we have and where we live, it would be impossible to find something cheaper. Right now we rent but in one week we will actually be buying the home - the landlord is ready to sell and my mom lives next door (my dad passed away just a few months ago unexpectedly, so I really love being next door and being close to her). But, I was thinking since we will be purchasing the home, maybe
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