AveryJohnson Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 I am in a very weird place right now. I have been with my significant other jack for about 3 years now. In the beginning of the relationship I will, I made him go through hoops to actually be with me. When we became a couple it was nice. I was 20 it was my first real relationship, we spent all our time together. I was going through a roughy patch while in nursing school and he was there for me every step of the way . Thing started getting different after one year in, that when I first found out he still had his exes name tattooed on him. I was hurt he never told me then tried to lie about. Before you say anything I know I can’t make him cover because after a year he still hasn’t covered it. So in my head I do truly believe he really wants to be with her. They still had picture from 7 years Ago on their Facebook but I let it go. I put it in the back of my mind. Fast forward to 1.5 years in, that’s when I started catching him search for different girls online even messaging some asking to go out on a date. We argued about it he apologize I let it go. That was the first time about 8 month ago, now I’m catching him every few months trying to communicate with different girls or ask them out. The last time was 2 weeks ago. Since then I’ve notice my trust issues are at an all time high and I don’t like being that girl. Am I right for wanting to cut it off or am I being emotional. It’s hard for me to feel connected to him it seems like I’m begging for his attention at this point and when I try to explain it to him he swears he puts in effort.im an Nurse practionor and he is a cook I work nights he works during the days. We barely talk about anything, I’m just drained I don’t feel like I should be begging to feel like a girl friend. But in his head he does everything he can Link to comment
Nickel Speed Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 Of course you are right for cutting him off. This guy is a loser. Never date someone with their exes' name tattooed on them. That shows a lack of good decision making ability by itself. He does everything he can? He is actively cheating on you and you have proof. Link to comment
RayofLighten Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 Woah, he is asking other girls out on dates while in a relationship? WHY ARE YOU STILL WITH THIS CHEATING LOSER? Trust me, if he can so easily chase girls like this there is a 100% guarantee that he is sleeping with other girls. Stop being stupid and kick him to the curb. Link to comment
Rose Mosse Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 He doesn't respect you. I'm curious what's causing you to stay. Are you afraid of being alone or are your finances tied up together? Link to comment
AveryJohnson Posted March 21, 2019 Author Share Posted March 21, 2019 I must say, I honestly am not sure. I’m 24 he’s 25 we live separately and have our own money, but sometimes I feel like I’m being a brat. It took so long for me to let him in and he put in a lot of effort, so much that I broke up with him in the beginning because he was over bearing but he always supported me for so long and now I feel I’m always naggin and I guess I just think I’m the reason why he changed. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 He likes the chase, not you per se...but it fooled you into thinking you were special. Now he's just back to doing what he likes to do...chase skirts. You didn't "change" him..In the beginning of the relationship I will, I made him go through hoops to actually be with me. 1.5 years in, that’s when I started catching him search for different girls online even messaging some asking to go out on a date. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 The guy is off chasing after other women and asking them out on dates. What more do you need to understand that this relationship you had with him is over, he is checked out and actively looking to monkey branch to someone new. Like in your face doing it. Which part of he is a cheater and a loser is not clear to you? I'm truly shocked how you are not getting this. Link to comment
Gary Snyder Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 A best guys are not going to jump through hoops to get a woman. Link to comment
LC8328 Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 I started catching him search for different girls online even messaging some asking to go out on a date. We argued about it he apologize I let it go. But it isn't enough for him to merely apologize. Trying to cheat on your GF is NOT the same as dropping an ice cream cone. What he should have done is have a heart-to-heart talk with you. Why did he even do this? What is the reason and what can he do to make that reason go away? In other words, you have to address the root of the problem and him just saying sorry doesn't cut it. imo, you're too hard on yourself, though I'm glad you're doing some introspection. It seems that you're the only one doing it, however. What hoops did you make him jump through to be in a relationship with you? Just curious. What it comes down to is that he is overbearing and seems to constantly be asking girls out while in a relationship with you. Obviously by your reaction this is meant to be a monogamous relationship, and unless he has that heart-to-heart talk with you, this relationship has zero chance of working out. Even if he does, it still may not survive, which is why since you guys are not married nor do you have kids together (I don't think...do you?), I advise you get out of this relationship. You could do so much better. Link to comment
smackie9 Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 There is no future with this guy....it's a no brainer hun...he's got to go. Why be with someone that causes you this much distress??? Link to comment
ninjabib Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 He sounds awful and in the future don't make people jump through hoops to be able to spend time with you. I'm sure deep down you lliked how he did tricks for you and looking back he realised he didn't like how he acted. He possibly aware of what you were doing and resents you for it but that doesnt excuse his behaviour. End it. Link to comment
SherrySher Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 He is a cheater and wants to look around..you can't fix that. You need to tell him it's over. Link to comment
Rose Mosse Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 I must say, I honestly am not sure. I’m 24 he’s 25 we live separately and have our own money, but sometimes I feel like I’m being a brat. It took so long for me to let him in and he put in a lot of effort, so much that I broke up with him in the beginning because he was over bearing but he always supported me for so long and now I feel I’m always naggin and I guess I just think I’m the reason why he changed. You're entitled to your own feedback about his screw ups and the presence of any ex-related things or issues. That's what you do as a partner. You're a sounding board. Just make sure you sound all right. Don't second guess yourself. I think your expectations of him have remained the same but your attachment to him changed. This is normal. If things go well, our feelings evolve also. What's not normal is that your dependency changed and your outlook about him changed. You started to think less about you and started to shift your focus (a little too much) on him without maintaining your independence and free spirit. You've lost your confidence. We have all been there. At least I have. You know as well as I do that there's a wild spirit in there that dislikes the person you've grown into. Grow out of it and evolve. Now. He can take it or leave it but you should evolve. I'd encourage you both to be mutually respectful. If that means going your separate ways, so be it. If he is up to the task, start living the way you want to live now. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 He is a cheater and a liar. I don't understand your doubt. You should have dumped him after the first cheating episode. Don't ever excuse that again. Link to comment
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