Wanting to change my look...with tinted eyeglasses?

Hey everybody,

Recently I've been thinking that it's time for me to change my look a bit. I want to make myself look more attractive to the opposite sex. I'm 35 and haven't had a date in 2 years. And I hardly ever catch women starting at me anymore.

I've had short hair and prescription glasses pretty much my whole life. I can't wear contacts, so that's out.

I had long hair (shoulder length) when I was in high school, but only for about a year.

Recently I've been thinking that maybe I should try again with long hair...only I'm worried that I'll look even more dorky than I do now...with long hair and glasses. I was thinking that maybe I could get a pair of glasses and have the lenses tinted a little bit with a lightish blue. These wouldn't be my primary glasses...I'd have a pair of non-tinted ones. I'm just thinking I want to do something a bit different and stylish...and attractive.

The thing is, I don't know anything about "style" at all. I'm a bachelor in every sense of the word. I don't know what the opposite sex considers to be hot these days. And I don't have any female friends that can help me with input.

I look at celebrities like Johnny Depp and his blue tinted glasses and think, wow those actually look pretty cool. I'm thinking rock-starish tinted glasses coupled with long hair would definitely give me a more rugged and cool look.

I never see ANYONE with tinted glasses anywhere. Period. Except on celebrities. If I were to do something like this, I get the feeling people would definitely stare at me. Like why is this guy wearing tinted glasses in a bar? Would it be in a good way, or would people think I'm nuts/weird/creepy?

I won't post any links here, but just do a simple image search on Johnny Depp blue tinted glasses or even Robert Downey Jr or Brad Pitt to see what I'm talking about (if you don't already).

I think they look pretty cool, but the whole point is to try and make a bold change so as to make myself look more physically attractive to the opposite sex. Plus...if they were like wow, this guy has like a trademark...that would be an even bigger bonus. But I don't want the opposite to happen!

What say you?

It's difficult to answer given that we don't know what you look like. Can't you hire someone to give you styling advice? Imo, the catch with the celebrities that you mentioned is that they are attractive with or without these glasses as they had beautiful faces to begin with. The long hair and tinted glasses combination sounds too much though. Plus, long hair in guys past 30 rarely are rarely a good look imo, unless one is an artist maybe.

I have to say (speaking for myself only), if I saw a guy with tinted glasses it wouldn't make any difference to me at all. I mean, I wouldn't be stopped in my tracks and be thinking .... "omg, check that guy with the tinted glasses!!". For me I would notice the over all picture and if I like what I see, I like it. If I don't, I don't. It would have nothing to do with the guy wearing tinted glasses. (Not sure if any of that made any sense, lol).

I agree with Clio in that we can't really give you advice on this because we can't see you or know what you look like.

But, I will say that I wouldn't recommend that you purchase these sunglasses or wear long hair if your purpose is to get people to stare at you.

Sometimes I see people who just seem to wear or do something for attention and it can scream insecurity, and as if they want to be the centre of attention.

Do you have a certain style that you like, that you feel represents you? I think if someone finds their niche when it comes to style and they're comfortable with this niche because they feel it represents them, they can come across much more confidently than someone who's just purposely experimenting with a style to stand out from the crowd. Make sense?

And I'm not referring to any sort of crazy, extravagant style...just a style that feels like, well...you.

I mean, I have a female friend that dresses very boho chic (kind of hippy-ish, I guess?) and it really suits her and her personality.

I have a male friend that dresses with a 70's style as well and again, it really suits him.

It's like the way they dress is an extension of their personalities.

Guys I've dated and guy friends just tend to wear jeans and t-shirts or button down shirts, sweaters. Nothing extreme! And they always look really nice.

As for hair, some guys can really pull off the longer hair look! My guy friend with the 70's style has long-ish hair and is always teased by his friends/family/etc. that he should be in hair commercials. lol. He luvs his longer hair (I think it's a security thing, too. He hates short hair on himself!). I remember having a huge crush on a guy in high school who kinda resembled Jim Morrison, too. He had a great hair and short hair did not suit him.

So, to each their own. Just have to find a style that works for you...something that you feel comfortable in and is an extension of your personality, I think. I dunno, just my opinion.

Do you have a certain style that you like? Have girlfriends complimented you on certain hairstyles, clothing styles in the past? Do you have family members or guy friends who can help you out?

I don't know, I think you have to be careful with styles you see in Hollywood because they tend be a bit extreme, you know?

How do you normally dress?

Have you made any attempts to date in the last 2 years?

Do you take care of yourself physically?

Sorry, lots of questions! :)

I would say that you should dress well. A lot of women know designer brands and quality clothes and they can spot fashion from a mile away. So you might want to start at a specialty clothing store such as Robert Graham, Nordstrom Rack, Brooks Brothers, Jos. A Bank, Men's Warehouse, Macy's, etc. and have the sales people recommend some styles and looks. These days, if people see you wearing tinted glasses, they might think you're on drugs or are having trouble with your eyes. But you might want to get a fashion brand of glasses like those from Cartier, Gucci, Armani, etc. If you look good, you're act more confident, and it may change your attractiveness.

OP,

Re: long hair - I am biased; I adore long hair on men. By long I mean, below elbow, not just 'long-ish'. As far as I'm concerned, DO go for long hair, absolutely!!

Re: what women find attractive: you'll get as many options on this as there are women on the planet. I go for a certain look that many women wouldn't find attractive at all - think 80s heavy/glam metal, long hair of course haha, leather jacket, black jeans, band t-shirt, cowboy boots, over 6 ft tall, under 13 st in weight, beautiful eyes, striking face. But that is MY look. Other women will tell you: whatever you do, do not dress like an 80s rocker!!

Bottom line is, you need to find a look that suits YOU and that looks natural and not 'made up', forced upon you. And try and be confident in your interactions with women - this is important.

Oh and I personally cannot stand facial hair. Anything over a couple of days' growth is, to me, quite repulsive. But again, that's me. There are women who do go for beards.

I wish you all the best.

Go to a good optician and try on some glasses and let them help you with the frames/lenses. Also go to good a hair place and get a good cut/style and get your facial hair figured out. Let the people at these places make some recommendations. Also get to a good men's place and update your clothes, shoes, etc. Get to a dentist and get your teeth cleaned. Good grooming and clothes that suit you will work a lot better than imitating something you saw on tv.

I don't think you should choose glasses that hide your eyes in any way. What are you hiding? Sunglasses indoors? Tinted lenses indoors? To me it looks silly. Sure, maybe on occasion, but myself, personally, I wouldn't like it on a guy I was dating. I want to be able to see your eyes. Celebrities get away with things like meat dresses and near naked dresses...these things don't necessarily work in the real world. Maybe try different frames and as suggested, try a specialty clothing store with good customer service to help you with style. Pay attention to what other guys are wearing and seek out something similar when shopping. I can't really comment on long vs. short hair. Get a good hair cut either way. Personally, I prefer a cleaner look on men (short hair) and probably wouldn't be attracted to you because you have long locks. I mean, long hair and shades indoors? Meh. What kind of industry do you work in, and would long hair translate well? I don't think that long hair and tinted glasses will make women swoon in your direction. Don't try to dress and have a style too young...we get older and certain things don't work anymore...that's reality. Some can pull it off, others can't. No harm in trying different things. I think some confidence in yourself will attract the women, and some new clothes and a new look helps boost that confidence. Do what works for you.

Do you have guy friends with girlfriends/wives you could give you some pointers on whether or not you need a makeover? Don't dress for what you think a woman would be attracted to. Choose the style you're most comfortable with, but make sure those clothes fit you properly and that you're not wearing clothes that are worn out and purchased 10 years ago. Because some women are attracted to a white class business-suit type. Some like rugged construction type guys who aren't metro-sexual. You can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself.

In a particular magazine I've read, when they had photos of male celebrities with their hair long in one photo, and short in the other, the majority of women voted they liked it better when the celebrity had short hair.

Your problem probably lies in your confidence level. That's the number one attractor. Read some books on improving your self-esteem. And when you're passionate about a hobby, sometimes you can join a group of people who share that passion and your enthusiasm will attract someone of the same ilk. Try some activities on Meetup.com. There are so many ways to meet people besides bars. Ski clubs. Caving. Kayaking. Bicycling. Cooking lessons. Dancing lessons. Volunteering such as Habitat for Humanity. Good luck.

I knew someone once who decided to tint his prescription glasses and joked about how he felt like he looked like a child molester.

I really wish he hadn't joked about it because that's the first thing that comes to mind when I see it now.

Not helpful, no doubt. . . but had to add my 2cents, for whatever it's worth.

Tinted glasses (not sunglasses, glasses) make me think someone's transition lenses are not doing their job. It is a dated look, at least to me.

Being yourself is the most attractive thing you can be to the right person. So I'd focus on being yourself and your own personal style choices. Because when you are not yourself, you can't keep it up because it's too much work!

with that said... I wear glasses and have several pairs. I like to change them up. And I have tinted rose glasses. I always have for like 20 years! last year the first rose pair finally broke. So I had to replace. while at the optometrist, they mentioned their vendor rep mentioned tinted lenses are the next big trend in glasses coming to the states.

So what the heck... go check out some new frames and tints....be yourself and put some effort into your look. It builds confidence and that is always attractive!

In my opinion, tinted eyeglasses are not sexy. I think they look weird unless someone has a specific medical issue (sensitivity to light). IMHO, if you want to look better (and I have no idea what you look like, so this is not personal at all, just advice I'd give to a random guy), hit the gym - you don't have to get beefy or anything, just even a bit more muscle and less fat looks good on everyone. And then get some nice tailored clothes or nice dress shoes. Something classic that will serve you well.

so.. nobody dates you b/c you had "tinted glasses" vs "non-tinted glasses". let's set that striaght.

people are attracted to the person behind the tinted glasses, and the person wearing those clothes.. not the clothes and tinted glasses themselves.

So.. what does this tell you? Work on you. Not your appearance.

What makes the most desirable/attractive you? A happy, passionate, fulfilled you enjoying and loving life (be it career, hobbies, a passion you partake in, etc.) So do that first. The rest will then come.

Wow, lots of helpful replies here. Thanks a lot!

Lol. Well, actually I guess I should clarify something here.

Last year, I bought two different styles of prescription eyeglasses. I have really bad eyesight and the glasses were super expensive--$600 each! The pair I wear daily are pretty much the standard round thin frame style I've been wearing since high school. The other pair, the lady at the eyewear place convinced me to try something new, and these are like Buddy Holly glasses. Think Ray Ban Wayfarers with clear lenses. Thick black plastic frame. Personally, I hate them. I thought I could get used to them, but I can't. My mom told me she didn't like them and they didn't match my face. So now I have a pair of $600 glasses that I'll probably never wear again because I'm self conscious about them.

So I was thinking that maybe I could turn them into quasi-sunglasses (tinted) but I only ever see celebs with tinted glasses, so that's why I was kind of wondering if tinted glasses would look cool, or make me look like a creep.

I'm going to grow my hair out and when it gets a little longer, I'm definitely going to go to a hair stylist and experiment with some different looks.

Haha...I was really just trying to get some input on what I could possibly do with a super expensive pair of glasses that I really don't like.

And....yeah, I am a little bummed about the not dating thing. But, the thing is, I can't help but feel like women don't notice me. I hate it and it feels like it's been happening to me for my whole life. I mean, for crying out loud, when I go out as a third wheel with my friend and his wife, waitresses constantly flirt with my friend but never me! But yeah, on the other hand, I don't want to dress like I'm screaming out for attention.

FWIW, I think men in buddy holly glasses are pretty hot and to be fair, the young woman in the store said yes, your mom said no... really think about who’s fashion judgement you’re following.

I also think people who have the glasses that tint when they go outside look kinda silly, I’m sorry but the tint doesn’t go away completely when you go back inside so it’s always looked weird to me, it’s not a look Id define as sexy.

I agree with others, find what works for you, talk to friends or employees in the store, I’ve had men and women ask me if something looked good or bad while I’ve been in department stores and admittedly I’ve done it too, sometimes you need a second opinion. Again, not sure why your mom is your go to for this.

^^ I was thinking the same thing - the thick glasses look is in right now.

Any optician can turn any prescription lenses into sunglasses. Do that instead of 'tinted". Most guys don't take fashion advice from their mothers, when they are old enough to pick out and buy their own clothes.. Get fashion advice from a good men's shop.

My mom told me she didn't like them and they didn't match my face. I was really just trying to get some input on what I could possibly do with a super expensive pair of glasses that I really don't like.