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purplepaisley last won the day on February 3 2020

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About purplepaisley

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  • Birthday 01/20/1970
  1. I'm going to echo that this guy needs some serious education on "not creepy" pickup skills. Go to his house to see his plants?? Yeah...no...absolutely do not feel bad for feeling weird about this invitation or declining it. Maybe he has two left feet; maybe he's nutters. Meet for coffee, and heck, he could bring some clippings! Pickups happen in the grocery store sometimes, and these can be fun, but the grocery store isn't necessarily some signal of a wholesome, safe meeting. My suggestion would be, if the guy seemed okay and not a creeper, suggest the alternative..."I would love t
  2. Sorry to whip out the grammar stick, but your story would be so much easier to read (and get responses) if you used a little bit of punctuation and broke things up into some paragraphs. This woman sounds like a hot mess and an emotional disaster area, and I think you would be best off to avoid her. She started off drunk texting you and you jumped on that wagon. She proceeding to spend 2 days with you in a state of inebriation from what it sounds like. She bounced between crying and emotional outbursts to wanting to fall into bed with you. At the end of it all, I agree, this woman does
  3. I certainly feel for you here. When it's someone you know, acquaintance, someone from work, you expect something a little different. Like there's a genuine interest and not motivation for a ONS or something casual. I would have done the same thing as you and reached out the next day or the same evening, which I always do anyway, if I had a really nice time. In your case, you saw the rejection and he was rather immature as well, mentioning rejection, when you didn't really reject him; you only rejected fast sex. That's unfortunate, but your reaction was to let him know that you really did
  4. I also agree with Smackie, and I think you're running an uphill battle that you are likely to lose. You had a bad family situation, and this guy you barely knew became your knight in shining armor and rescued you from the mess of your home life. The bottom line is, it was too much too soon, and you had no idea who he really was at the time and that you are not compatible long-term. You jumped out of the frying pan into the fire. I don't think you or therapy are going to change him. These actions are not mistakes, they are intentional. I think what you need to do is move out on your own.
  5. This guy sounds like he was doing the "slow fade." I know, it hurts, but at some point, things weren't working out for him, and rather than telling you, or "officially" breaking up, he just hoped that you would stop trying. It hurts the worst because they put on this aura that they are still very into you, and there are just life circumstances getting in the way. He did "hint" and you did not take the hint (focusing on his career/going cold on you). I do not think that one day a week is too much to ask, and you went further in accepting that every other week would be acceptable. Thi
  6. This one really stings, and I'm having a hard time with it. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, support, and opinions...I appreciate it!
  7. I don't understand. I am hurt, yes. Why do they do that? I don't understand men. I went and got involved emotionally. I have crushed on a man for awhile. It is a coworker. I know I sound like I'm 17. I'm not talking about overt flirting or anything. When we were in the office, I did catch a vibe, but I also got mixed signals...there seemed to be attraction, then not...I think all of us can relate to that. Things advanced. We started texting outside work. It turns out this "vibe" was accurate. I was pretty excited and happy about it. Yes, I know, work relationships are
  8. I agree with JenCrowley. There's something he wants, and he is changing his tune to stay in your good graces. I don't know what he wants, but there is a reason for this turnaround. He seems rather sociopathic or narcissistic. They know how to charm when it suits them and have no remorse or moral compass when treating others poorly when they do not serve a purpose. You state he used to look at you with "hatred with a vengeance," and now all of a sudden he's a kitten. I don't get it. And here you are, getting the "feels." Of course you are. I would too. You need to step outside of this
  9. Why did you not contact him? Yes, it is possible that he got his "booty call" and he's just not interested in pursuing something more serious...he'll reach out when he's "in the mood." If you're okay with something casual like this, enjoy, but if you want something long-term and serious, this guy perhaps isn't the one. It might help if you reached out to him a few times instead of waiting on him. Also, have a talk about what he wants. If his actions don't match his words, you'll spare yourself a lot of heartache and worry if you just move on. The kids will be a priority, but there has
  10. Walk away from this one. You state he has never laid a finger on you, but his violent rages have certainly scared you, affected you, and it is abusive. Mark my words, it's just a matter of time before he directs his violence at you. He is a powder keg. Yes, he was out of control. Are you wrong? I do believe you are wrong for maintaining this relationship. I know how hard it is to leave. Abusers are very adept in keeping you sucked in, giving you great happiness and joy in between acts of voilence and abuse. In addition to the violence, he calls you names and refuses to empathize
  11. I wouldn't be okay with this at all. Who knows why she maintains this "chat." She likes the attention? She is too afraid of hurting his feelings and telling him to stop? I can see her just responding instead of telling him to stop, hoping he will go away eventually; however, this is problematic for you, and you have expressed this, and I feel it is inappropriate to maintain this type of "talk." You say you don't care, but you do. You both have to be on the same page, and if she refuses, your choices are to learn to accept it or move on. This type of situation can fester.
  12. I don't know if I would consider this man's behavior a "red flag" just yet. It really comes across to me as his own personal "litmus test" on whether or not a woman is interested or worth pursuing. By his own experiences, he has determined that if a woman is "always unavailable" to talk and can't conform in some way to his own schedule, she's going to be a dud. Maybe he comes off a bit too strong, though, in his insistence, but again, this is his own litmus test, and you may pass, or you may fail. You have choices too, and he may fail your litmus test. For me, arranging a date st
  13. That giant wall of text was difficult to read. Please break up your post into easy-to-read paragraphs. I apologize in advance if I didn't understand something. You were both married when you met and proceeded to have an affair that resulted in a child. He doesn't trust you...you didn't exactly start off on a solid foundation, did you? He sounds psycho, controlling, jealous, and unstable. He will give you the silent treatment, hanging out with the ex, staying at the ex's house, blaming you, recording you, watching, stalking...bad news. If you slept over at your ex-husband's hous
  14. Is hugging a normal action for this guy towards everyone, or is it just you? That would definitely be fodder for prying eyes and gossipy lips. I wonder if there is flirty behavior in general happening that is fueling the gossip mill. Maybe you don't realize you're doing it, or maybe you don't recognize that he is doing it. I have a female coworker who hugs. I really can't say I've noticed much around male coworkers vs. female, but it is clear she hugs her "besties" compared to the "average coworker," or maybe she recognizes boundaries on those who are not amenable to the touchy-feel
  15. It's absolutely normal to want to "put out the feelers" and date when you first make that split, but as you know, you are not ready for a relationship and even "casually dating" or "friends first" from a dating app can be confusing. People don't join dating apps to make friends, and the "friends first, maybe something more" is always a red flag to me...either you do it or you don't. If you're not ready to date, don't join a dating app. You're already involved in that board game group, and there are other meetups you can try. Some are geared towards newly divorced or single parents or s
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