Should I reach out?

So my ex-boyfriend is an Aquarius and I knew him for about a year before we began dating December of last year for about 3 months. Towards the end of February, I had really bad flu-like symptoms and come to find out, I was experiencing the first outbreak of herpes. I confronted him as he was the only person I was having sexual relations with (in addition, my blood test results confirmed that I had obtained the STD fairly recent) and he acted like I was crazy, a creep, and just completely left me hanging. About two weeks passed and I reach out to talk to him in person about the situation and just honestly ask why. He said he cared and loved me but I feel like he has a problem being able to connect with his emotions on an authentic and deep level. Me trying to have a conversation with him didn't work out as I planned, he still had animosity and it ended with him walking away and ignoring me. Although I love him, I prepared myself to never talk to him again and just move on with my life and find someone better. However, a month after our meeting in person, he randomly texts me saying, "hope you've kept that adorable smile on your face through trials and tribulations. Continue to have a blessed week." Super weird!! I just responded back saying thank you and same to you. A couple weeks after that he reached out again by calling me to talk about how he visited my hometown and his coachella experience. He acted like nothing ever happened. Weird once again. I am not quite sure what his motives are and why he's trying to reach out but my question is whether I should take the initiative to reach out to him and invite him to an upcoming event that my association is putting together to recognize men of color. I don't know if it would be a good idea, though, after all that he has put me through. I don't want to come across as desperate or that I don't have any self-respect for myself. Before all this happened we were friends and that's something I keep trying to hold onto. I keep trying to hold onto the good but please let me know what you think! Any advice would be helpful.

It sounds like that text may have been intended for someone else on his f buddy list. He also sounds quite superficial and irresponsible. Dump him and go NC.

we began dating December of last year for about 3 months. Towards the end of February, I had really bad flu-like symptoms and come to find out, I was experiencing the first outbreak of herpes. I confronted him as he was the only person I was having sexual relations with (in addition, my blood test results confirmed that I had obtained the STD fairly recent) and just completely left me hanging. he randomly texts me saying, "hope you've kept that adorable smile on your face through trials and tribulations. Continue to have a blessed week." Super weird!!

So... your ex gave you herpes....broke up once you told him about it ..and now he texts you now & again for random chatter and you're wondering if you should invite him out?

My answer would be - hell no.

If this guy gave you an STD and not just any type... herpes..and acted the way he did..why would you ever wanna see him again?

I believe you should tell him how you feel but yoy shouldnt even talk or invite him to anything. He gave you an STD and acted like it was nothing. Find you a man or woman who is able to talk to you amd not ignore you and walk away

He gave you herpese? And then acted like you were crazy? Girl no run away! That 's just wrong on so many levels!

I think that if you try to get back together with him, you lose the right to complain about what will inevitably happen.

If this guy gave you an STD and not just any type... herpes..and acted the way he did..why would you ever wanna see him again?

Because he's an Aquarius?!

So my ex-boyfriend is an Aquarius and I knew him for about a year before we began dating December of last year for about 3 months. Towards the end of February, I had really bad flu-like symptoms and come to find out, I was experiencing the first outbreak of herpes. I confronted him as he was the only person I was having sexual relations with (in addition, my blood test results confirmed that I had obtained the STD fairly recent) and he acted like I was crazy, a creep, and just completely left me hanging. About two weeks passed and I reach out to talk to him in person about the situation and just honestly ask why. He said he cared and loved me but I feel like he has a problem being able to connect with his emotions on an authentic and deep level. Me trying to have a conversation with him didn't work out as I planned, he still had animosity and it ended with him walking away and ignoring me. Although I love him, I prepared myself to never talk to him again and just move on with my life and find someone better. However, a month after our meeting in person, he randomly texts me saying, "hope you've kept that adorable smile on your face through trials and tribulations. Continue to have a blessed week." Super weird!! I just responded back saying thank you and same to you. A couple weeks after that he reached out again by calling me to talk about how he visited my hometown and his coachella experience. He acted like nothing ever happened. Weird once again. I am not quite sure what his motives are and why he's trying to reach out but my question is whether I should take the initiative to reach out to him and invite him to an upcoming event that my association is putting together to recognize men of color. I don't know if it would be a good idea, though, after all that he has put me through. I don't want to come across as desperate or that I don't have any self-respect for myself. Before all this happened we were friends and that's something I keep trying to hold onto. I keep trying to hold onto the good but please let me know what you think! Any advice would be helpful.

Are you kidding! This creep gives you herpes - and doesn't tell you - and is being nasty. HUH!

"I feel like he has a problem being able to connect with his emotions on an authentic and deep level." Really! He gave you a life-long disease and you are trying to explain away his response with this nonsense!!!!!!

You need to block this creep, and learn to value yourself. You should be very angry with this guy, not falling all over yourself trying to get him back.

Do better for yourself!

because he's an aquarius?!

lol!!!!!!!!!!

Are you afraid no one else will want you because you now have herpes? And is that why you think it's a good idea to "reconnect"?

Lots of people have herpes. Even nice, upstanding people who don't treat you like garbage then come sniffing back looking for something casual.

Because he's an Aquarius?!

With all due respect (which is very little with that statement) you're a ing idiot.

HOWEVER in regards to everyone else...

Herpes is EXTREMELY common, even genital herpes... Both type 1 and 2 herpes will infect the same tissues. Honestly, most people already have immunity to type 1 because of previous exposure (usually from their parents or early class-mates). Type 2 cases are more common on the genitals, but genital infection doesn't exclude type 1 diagnosis. Even so, all herpes strains carry a host-immunity which prevents long-term symptoms... (In most cases).

There are some extreme complications associated with herpes, but for the most part, you're more normal for having it that not.... The location of infected tissue is really the only thing that separates you...

Also, exposure to the virus does promote host-immunity....

It's an interesting virus, but it's fairly tame in terms of its actual risk and harm.

Thank you for the feedback.

Yeah, and the next girl he gets with, he won't tell her about the herpes either. He's just spreading the virus all around the city and not even giving anyone the chance to protect themselves.

Like another poster said, there are lots of people with herpes. Millions. One of them is going to be a decent, caring man who won't conceal important things from you and will treat you with respect.

Are you afraid no one else will want you because you now have herpes? And is that why you think it's a good idea to "reconnect"?

 

Lots of people have herpes. Even nice, upstanding people who don't treat you like garbage then come sniffing back looking for something casual.

I think that's where a lot of my insecurities are stemming from. There was this one guy I was talking to and I told him about my situation and he completely disappeared after that. I love my ex but then I think about how he treated me and what I have to deal with for the rest of my life. When I think about that, I'm like the love. I'm in a constant battle with my emotions and with him reaching out, it makes it even more confusing and painful for me. I just saw him today in passing with another girl that I know he's really good friends with.. I am not sure if he recognized me or what but I honestly felt like crying. The thought of him moving on after all the he has put me through is hard to think about. It's just really hard to trying to come out of this whole situation and learning to uphold my true value as a woman.

I think that's where a lot of my insecurities are stemming from. There was this one guy I was talking to and I told him about my situation and he completely disappeared after that. I love my ex but then I think about how he treated me and what I have to deal with for the rest of my life. When I think about that, I'm like the love. I'm in a constant battle with my emotions and with him reaching out, it makes it even more confusing and painful for me. I just saw him today in passing with another girl that I know he's really good friends with.. I am not sure if he recognized me or what but I honestly felt like crying. The thought of him moving on after all the he has put me through is hard to think about. It's just really hard to trying to come out of this whole situation and learning to uphold my true value as a woman.

 

Don't beat yourself up over it, emotions are hard to control sometimes. Even though you rationally know someone is bad for you or has hurt you you may still feel things for them even if you don't want to. The important thing is you KNOW you deserve better then this. Tell yourself that, make it an affirmation. Maybe you can get involved in support groups for herpes patients, there are many people who are affected by this I think getting involved may be good, maybe you can meet someone through that channel, not just to find someone else but I think getting involved in that sense may be good and empowering for you.

 

This guy doesn't so much deserve the time of day from you after doing this to you and treating you like that! Hugs

There are dating sites for people with herpes.

You'd be surprised at the quality of a lot of the men on those sites!

STDs aren't limited to icky, promiscuous people. Decent people get sick too.

There are dating sites for people with herpes.

 

You'd be surprised at the quality of a lot of the men on those sites!

 

STDs aren't limited to icky, promiscuous people. Decent people get sick too.

Statistically, more of us have Herpes than those of us who don't...

Those who think they don't just don't have outbreaks...

Seriously, herpes is more common than having a cold... A minority have very severe neurological implications, but for the most part the only disease is the social panic....

If you're reading this and you have biological parents and went to a public school, I almost guarantee you carry herpes.

It may be true that a lot of people have herpes, but this guy is still a huge creep.

Student7, I hope you don't reach out to him (unless you're gonna smack him).

He could have disclosed, that way she could have made the choice to protect herself.

Instead he chose to conceal and lie by omission.

A guy my friend was sleeping with (couldn't call it "dating) didn't tell her he had herpes. When she got it, he told her she must have gotten it from a toilet seat. She chose to believe him...until she ran into his ex before her and SHE had gotten herpes from him. She had told him, but he decided to run away instead of get treatment. So, he knew he had it, but he was one of those selfish a-holes who actually used the line "sex with condoms is like taking a shower with a raincoat on". So, since he didn't want to wear condoms he chose to conceal.

But...again, lots of people have this virus. And yes, you can still date and fall in love and even get married and have a family (like my friend did!).

With all due respect (which is very little with that statement) you're a ing idiot.

 

HOWEVER in regards to everyone else...

 

Herpes is EXTREMELY common, even genital herpes... Both type 1 and 2 herpes will infect the same tissues. Honestly, most people already have immunity to type 1 because of previous exposure (usually from their parents or early class-mates). Type 2 cases are more common on the genitals, but genital infection doesn't exclude type 1 diagnosis. Even so, all herpes strains carry a host-immunity which prevents long-term symptoms... (In most cases).

 

There are some extreme complications associated with herpes, but for the most part, you're more normal for having it that not.... The location of infected tissue is really the only thing that separates you...

 

Also, exposure to the virus does promote host-immunity....

 

It's an interesting virus, but it's fairly tame in terms of its actual risk and harm.

Interesting!! Thanks for the info..

Don't beat yourself up over it, emotions are hard to control sometimes. Even though you rationally know someone is bad for you or has hurt you you may still feel things for them even if you don't want to. The important thing is you KNOW you deserve better then this. Tell yourself that, make it an affirmation. Maybe you can get involved in support groups for herpes patients, there are many people who are affected by this I think getting involved may be good, maybe you can meet someone through that channel, not just to find someone else but I think getting involved in that sense may be good and empowering for you.

 

This guy doesn't so much deserve the time of day from you after doing this to you and treating you like that! Hugs

I really appreciate what you said!! Thank you so much