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Robin2904

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  • Birthday January 7

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  1. I wouldn't say it's scary scary, it's more plot driven then horror or cheap 'scares' like you get in horror movies. I would say the general theme is more 'creepy' then scary. To extend on my thoughts on the series, I've seen every season of AHS. Season one Murder House was hands down my favorite. Season two Asylum was just too much going on for me I watched faithfully every week and got confused, too many sub plots. Season 3 Coven was pretty good but felt they dropped the ball towards the end of the series a bit. I liked season 4 Freak Show but didn't get into it as much as some of the others. And the last season Hotel I thought was great and very unique plot wise, but season one will still always be my favorite. If you're going to watch I'd start with season one because even subtly they are all connected in some way, which I think will be reveled in greater detail at some point. Sorry a bit of a rant, it's one of my favorite shows (can you tell?) haha
  2. The shallows I got dragged to see it with friends lol it was surprisingly good, a modern approach to a movie like Jaws I'd say wait for it to hit demand and watch at home though
  3. The Martian Great movie! It's pretty long (2 and a half hours) but worth it, very well done 9/10 highly recommend!
  4. So I posted a little while ago about meeting someone online who lives out of state. We've been talking now for almost 2 months, definitely didn't expect anything just thought I would pass the time, have a conversation maybe make a friend. We really connected a lot have so much in common and he's proven to be a very sweet guy and I really do like him, and if we lived close no doubt in my mind we would be dating. We began talking every day, long phone calls, just really becoming attached to one another. I really do care about him now and we've talked about wanting to see one another, I even tried to say I could get some time off this Summer and come see him but realizing with both of our lives at the current moment it probably isn't going to happen anytime soon which is disappointing. So we continue to talk daily, talk about wanting to do certain things together etc. I'm not about to call something a relationship because it isn't, and i wouldn't put that label on it until we were able to see each other in person and see where we stood, which like I said I don't think will be any time soon. However he has told me he has no interest in talking to or dating anyone else and that he just wants to talk to me. I never said I wasn't going to do that and I admit I have been talking to others locally and even potentially making plans to go on some dates. When I do I just feel SO guilty though. Like I feel like I'm cheating on him in a way. I do care about him and think that given the right circumstances (distance not being an option) we would be a great fit. I even could see myself moving to his state (I have been considering moving within the next year anyway) but none of that is really an option in the near future. I'm not sure what I should do. Should I even feel guilty? Should I continue to talk to others, date etc? I don't want to hurt this guy, I DO care about him, I've had a lot going on in my life recently and he's been there for me. I don't want to just let it or him go because I think there could be potential there but it wouldn't be any time soon. Any advice? Please be easy on me.
  5. Sometimes the saying goes if it's too good to be true it is, but sometimes you meet someone who is so right for YOU that they may feel close to what you would consider perfect. I would stick with it and feel it out and see what happens, get to know him more. Honestly everyone has flaws and usually people are putting their best foot forward in the beginning. That doesn't mean that this person is necessarily bad or 'too good to be true' it just means that the more you get to know them you'll find their flaws. Their flaws may not be deal breakers to you though.
  6. Yeah he's playing major games. Ignoring for a week then acting like that? Plus he's on dating sites? Walk away. End the relationship now. He's using you right now, he's looking for someone else and using you as a fall back.
  7. You need to leave this guy. He thinks saying sorry will fix it and he can just keep repeating the bad behavior. He thinks 'Wow i've got it made I can do this on the side, appologize and she'll forgive me. Easy!' and you're buying him stuff to boot! Leave him.
  8. I don't think anyone is denying that on dates you're gonna ask lots of questions but I don't go into it with a list ready to go, I don't know at least for me the dates I've gone on the questions that came up kind of depended on the conversation and that led where they went.
  9. Yeah I agree with agent- I was about to say it sounds very interview-y. Like those random questions you'd get on a job interview 'If you could be any type of animal what would you be and why?' I get the thought into it and I think it comes from a nice place but I think I might find it a little odd on a date. Conversation just has to flow naturally. Of course I've gone on dates that felt like an interview but those were ones that I would chalk up as generally unsuccessful.
  10. I haven't posted on here in eons. You've been on my mind a bit lately, not too surprised since I'm going through a funk in other areas of my life and that almost always stirs up old emotions about you for me, no matter how much times has passed. Sure you crossed my mind a bit, I even had a brief, yet forgettable dream about you the other night. Anyway...I've been listening to Adele a but lately- I admit here new album also does stir emotions in my that have to do with you. Mainly the song when we were young- because it deals with nostalgia which was always hard for me in looking back on memories of us. I was listening to some of her other songs though- I listened to a song called 'Can't let go' and wow...I felt something that surprised me. It was...nothing. The song is beautiful, and totally moving and amazing because well it IS Adele...and had I listened to this a year ago I would have been crying, a few years ago and I'd be a mess on the floor sobbing...but today? I listened to it and though 'wow the Robin of a few years ago could relate to this song so much' but not the Robin of today. Because I do think I've finally let go. And it actually made me smile while I was listening to it- this powerful emotional song where she's declaring her inability to let go- it made me smile because I think on some level it made me realize how much I actually have. I will definitely always listen to songs like that and think back on how they could relate to me at a very emotional raw painful time in my life, and they will always get me in the feels because of having gone through that pain and felt it in the past- but it's comforting to know I don't feel like THAT now about you. Smiling to an Adele song is certainly a major accomplished for me!
  11. Jesus Christ. I'm lying in bed unable to sleep for the most ridiculous reason ever. I'm so embarrassed so even write this here but I need to vent. I had a weird cry spell a few minutes ago...it's been SO long since I cried like that thinking of you. I think I'm mostly over you, or past you any way. I realize you're not a great person, I realize you treated me pretty badly over the years, even as a so called friend. I realize all those things. But yet I'm lying in bad...and I get w wiff of the T Shirt I'm wearing to bed...I just did laundry the other day and I used Tide. I should have known this would be a problem. The smell of Tide deterrent...it's SO SO SO silly but it reminds me of you. Being at your house, the smell of our clothes. The smell of YOU. It's literally like its years ago and I'm lying in your arms and I smell you. I haven't used Tide detergent in years and now I never ever will again. It's so frigfin INSANE how a smell can drive a memory so heavily that it can bring you back to a moment in time and Just make you lose your crap! It's like the more I smell myself the more I think of you. This is crazy. And currently all my clothes smell like Tide. Screw this so hard! I can't believe the smell of a friggin laundry detergent just made me ball my eyes out!
  12. Some times i'm just left alone with my thoughts for too long and i'm left to think all these things...like how I still feel things for you after all this time. The other night the air smelled so distinctively like a New England Summer night and my stomach kind of fell because it brought me back to all that time ago and all the nights I spend at your house so long ago those hot days and cool nights, the smell of the air. It was a long while ago and still I find myself wistfully reminiscing upon those days kind of wishing I could get a do over. I was young, naive and fooling to be quite honest. Even though those times weren't all roses and cupcakes something in me will always draw back on them in a wistful way...but its also funny how time can make you forget how unhappy you were and how nostolgia can be a dirty rotten liar when looking back on memories. I'm sure theres the makings of a good country song in there somewhere... I just wonder to myself why in the world I get so fixated on you and the past and memories that are so far gone now. I guess its because to me they will always be something special even though I honestly don't know why. Because you've proven time and time again that they weren't special to you and that I didn't mean nearly as much to you as you did to me. It hurts yeah but I know in my heart its the truth. As much as I tried to kid myself for a good long while and almost convinced myself it was the case- that I held a special place in your heart, that I was some big long of your life....the truth of the matter is that isn't true. I was just some girl you dated far too long ago. Just some ex on your long list of exes. I guess writing that and reading that back is like 'ouch' to me but it's true. I think my problem is I always wonder what if. What could have been 'if' granted there are so many ifs in that equation. If I never broke up with you waaaay back when the very first time, if we would have really gotten back together that Summer, if when we reconnected the following year if we REALLY would have given it another go....if you really loved me enough to give it another go. But I guess again the truth of it is you didn't...and you don't. I honestly don't know why I even wonder these things anymore since we are on two totally different planes of existence. I think I'll always question your sexuality after the last time we spoke and that's something that will kind of always bother me. That whole last time was absolutly awful in general so I shouldn't even give a crap about you one way or another anymore. Not after how selfish and awful you were to lead me on- again- but this was probably the worst time, there was nothing good about it at all. Seeing you was the most awkward its ever been. I think I just need to realize you're a different person now. I think I'm just left with this nagging awful feeling like what about me wasn't good enough for you? Why wasn't I ever good enough for you? All I ever did was try to be there for you in so many ways hoping that you would fall in love with me again and want to give things another try...so things could go back to how they used to. So you could look at me the way you did when we were together all that time ago. And you never did and it broke me over the years. Its my own fault really. My self esteem has been pretty low all these years because of being repeatedly rejected by you. I could have a line of men telling me how great I am but it was like if it wasn't YOU it didn't matter. The messed up thing about it is I think just knowing you still wanted me would be enough for me. I don't even know if its me wanting to be with you at this point but more knowing you wanted to be with me. I know that's twisted...its the rejection part that's had me messed up. Because you were the only person who's ever really loved me... I don't know why I'm even still beating a dead horse just some nights my mind goes back like it has the past few. And I spent the last few months extremly hurt and upset over you. After what happened well I was pretty crushed and then I met someone and got into somewhat of an online relationship for a few months which I have to say distracted me. I didn't think of you nearly as much, but that fizzled or should I say I regained my sanity...then I had to deal with my mom's illness and that was my main focus for the last 2 months and that's been one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Now that she's doing somewhat better...there it is. My mind is back on you. Back where it always goes when I don't have a distraction. And seeing you on POF a few weeks ago kind of threw me, you were definitely the last person I expected to see on there. I'm thinking I looked dumb for sending you a message but I think it was important for me to let you know hey look I'm not still upset...even if I am. And you saying idk in reference to what I said...WHY am I reading so much into that? WHY do I over analyze everything with you always?? Its so frustrating! And going to your city next month is going to be so interesting. I have never been there without going to see you, never taken the bus into that station and not had you waiting for me...just going to bring a lot of memories for me. But I'm going to see my friend who I'm happy to have reconnected with who has nothing to do with you. I'm excited to have the weekend away but nervous as hell for the nostalgia to hit me. I've thought about texting you and saying I'm gonna be there and then I think that's the dumbest idea ever because well it IS the dumbest idea ever. What good will that do? 10 to 1 you'll be like 'Oh okay cool enjoy' like what else are you going to say after how we left things? Like how much more clear do you have to make it to me that you don't want to be with me? I'm so dumb. I know theoretically I'll never run into you there so its not like I need to explain that...but like this small sick part of me almost wants to run into you. Its whatever...not going think about this any more tonight, been enough mind musing for one night.
  13. Gotta admit seeing your name on my list of people who recently viewed my POF page the other night was just like...what? Was a weird moment. Never thought id run into you on there of all places. It left me feeling some type of way. I'm not sure why. I guess seeing that you were looking for someone, I don't kno it was just weird. And then the 'I'm sorry' Really though? You're not sorry for any of it, I don't believe you are. You say sorry just for show, its not real. I guess just because that was what you thought you were suppose to say. I honestly should have asked you 'Why are you sorry?' just to see what you would say...i'm curious, do you even know WHY you were fake apologizing? I highly doubt it. I highly doubt you will EVER grasp the gravity of how sorry you should be, or how much of a jerk you've been to me over the years, or JUST how badly you've really truly hurt me. Took the high road though 'Its all good, no hard feelings' biggest lie ever in the history of lies. But that is the way to handle it, I wanted to make sure you never saw how bad you messed me up again and so you think I'm over it. I don't want to give you the satisfaction of thinking you have any type of hold on me anymore. And you won't...I guess it just threw me off my game for a short minutes because POF was the last place I thought I'd see you, but look like you deleted your account 2 days after that...weird. What ever bye and good riddance!
  14. I haven't been in this thread in so So long....I just need to vent and really have no other source to do so. Where do I begin. It's been almost a year since I last saw you which is so crazy to say...jumping ahead to this week. I just have so many feelings right now and don't even know how to put them into words. My life is a mess in some ways but its FINALLY starting to come together. My career is finally going somewhere and I don't want this crap and my mind being on you to screw that up! I'm starting work tomorrow for NBC. Its so surreal and I'm SO SO excited. Talking to you the other ways was different. But I'm glad I didn't trust in it because looks like I was right not to. First of all, so many feelings on you telling me about your previous sexual experiences, I don't even have time to get into this now nor do I want to. But that actually really hurt. Like WHY would you think that telling your ex that was cool? I'm questioning so much. SO much. But at the same time you tell me you still miss me, love me, want me back in your life. I just...what? I was a lot calmer and less phased by it as I usually would be. I do still love you, but I almost felt like saying those things to you saying I loved you too and wanted you back in my life was a big...un genuine? I don't know. Like it didn't feel real to me. This is all so odd. But I said I'll go with it, and told you not to do a 180 on me. But knew you would. And yea feel you will. Its just so messed up.... jfjfdgjjoekfrwjowjwejqjokdkdibvfogor
  15. I hate myself right now. I texted you. Its been 3 months and I texted you. I knew it was coming, since Thanksgiving I've been fighting the urge. Just FML.
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