Am I right or am I wrong for this?

[AnimeNeRD]

I came home from work today to find my roommate and her dog laying in my bed just relaxing. 

Now her dog lays in my bed all the time when she is not home probably because he feels lonely or something. 

When I confronted her I was asking what anyone would ask, "how long have you been in here? What are you doing?". 

She immediately got defensive saying the "the dogs paws were hurting him earlier and I just wanted to make sure he was doing ok". Even tho I was on the phone with her while I was driving home from work so it means she was in the room for 20 minutes. 

I am now getting the cold shoulder and silent treatment and excuses saying her stomach is hurting even though she was getting ready to eat dinner. 

Am I right or wrong for confronting her about this situation? And what do I do about the dog because I have built a very strong connection with him?

[Batya33]

I'd need more information.  What has been discussed about sitting or laying on the other's bed? You seem to have approached her in a confrontational, aggressive way -why? Why didn't you accept her explanation that she was trying to make sure the dog was ok? Are you having other issues with this roommate? Sure seems so.

[Wiseman2]

6 minutes ago, AnimeNeRD said:

I came home from work today to find my roommate and her dog laying in my bed just relaxing. 

Consider putting locks on the bedroom doors. Is this the same woman?

 

[Seraphim]

And the dog can’t lie in her bed or the floor for sore feet ? I have never heard such a BS excuse for being in your room . 

[Capricorn3]

Just now, Seraphim said:

And the dog can’t lie in her bed or the floor for sore feet ? I have never heard such a BS excuse for being in your room . 

^ THIS.

[Batya33]

2 minutes ago, Capricorn3 said:

^ THIS.

Obviously from my response I’m not a dog owner lol. You’re right and this didn’t occur to me. 

[reinventmyself]

ok . .awkward moment, but just a moment none the less.  Keep your door closed.  Set a respectful boundary and let this moment pass.

[boltnrun]

I would be supremely pissed if I came home and a dog was on my bed. And I'm an animal lover.

When I had roommates I made sure my cat never went into their room and I kept all of her supplies and equipment in my room. It's common courtesy.

Do you two share a bedroom? If not, can you put a lock on your bedroom door?

[AnimeNeRD]

1 hour ago, Batya33 said:

I'd need more information.  What has been discussed about sitting or laying on the other's bed? You seem to have approached her in a confrontational, aggressive way -why? Why didn't you accept her explanation that she was trying to make sure the dog was ok? Are you having other issues with this roommate? Sure seems so.

We will hang out in our rooms together when we are both home. But this is the first time this has happened. 

And we have been having MULTIPLE issues for months now. She over exaggerates EVERYTHING. And is a complete drama starter and always trying to involve me even when I tell her to knock it off. 

[Batya33]

12 minutes ago, AnimeNeRD said:

We will hang out in our rooms together when we are both home. But this is the first time this has happened. 

And we have been having MULTIPLE issues for months now. She over exaggerates EVERYTHING. And is a complete drama starter and always trying to involve me even when I tell her to knock it off. 

Right.  Context matters.  Can you find another place?

[Jaunty]

If you hang out in your rooms together it sounds like you are pretty close friends?

 

[Coily]

I would be PO'd over this. It's your room, your bed, I wouldn't want it becoming a dog bed because the roommate sucks a decision making.

[Wiseman2]

4 hours ago, AnimeNeRD said:

 what do I do about the dog because I have built a very strong connection with him?

What upset you? That the dog was in your room or that she was?  If you are encouraging the dog to hang out in your room please discontinue that if you don't want her in your room. From your other thread, unfortunately you seem to be at each other's throats a lot. Are you in a relationship or just roommates? 

[LootieTootie]

When I was living with roommates in college, there were always ground rules. Do you have rules for not laying in each other's bed?

Thats very cute that the dog loves you and misses you.

[ShySoul]

A person's room, and especially their bed, is their sanctuary. I should be privae space, off limits unless you've told her it's okay. So no, you're not wrong for being upset.

Perhaps the two of you are fine as friends, but not as roommates? It's a whole different thing living with someone. If you are having continually problems, seek other living arrangements if possible. In the meantime, consider locks for the bedroom and designate the living room/kitchen for spending time together. Be clear with what is okay and not okay with you. Your roommate doesn't seem to understand boundaries, so do what you can to not give her the chance to upset you like that again.

[MissCanuck]

I would be totally weirded out if another person was just lying in my bed. I love dogs and have always had one, but she should have escorted the dog into her own bed to check on him. 

What is the rest of the backstory between you and her? 

[Batya33]

4 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

I would be totally weirded out if another person was just lying in my bed. I love dogs and have always had one, but she should have escorted the dog into her own bed to check on him. 

What is the rest of the backstory between you and her? 

I'm confused? I thought he's ok with the dog on his bed??

[Kwothe28]

13 hours ago, AnimeNeRD said:

When I confronted her I was asking what anyone would ask, "how long have you been in here? What are you doing?". 

 

I dont get it. Why would you ask you roomate how long have they been there and what are they doing? When the question is why were they laying in your bed with an animal?

Just say that your bed is off limits for them and that is it.

Also, given the other situation that happened, I would say they always act in a same way you described about everything.

[ShySoul]

14 hours ago, Batya33 said:

I'm confused? I thought he's ok with the dog on his bed??

Okay with the dog, not with the person. Sometimes animals are better behaved. 😉

Problem is by letting the dog do it, that sent the message that it's okay in general. Since the roommate doesn't seem to respect boundaries, they assumed it was okay for them to be there. Solution is to just cut them out of the room entirely and make it clear the room is off limits. Only way some people get the message is to get strict with it. 

13 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

I dont get it. Why would you ask you roomate how long have they been there and what are they doing? When the question is why were they laying in your bed with an animal?

Just say that your bed is off limits for them and that is it.

I'm going to guess it was a combination of shock and politness. You don't expect to come home and see your roommate lying in your bed, so poster might not have known how to react in the moment. Some people also don't like to be confrontational, so they as try to give the person a chance to talk themselves out of trouble.

Roommate does seem to like the silent treatment and turning things back around on the other person, even when they are guilty. I'd be questioning if this was a situation that I could put up with much longer.