stood up on second date

[yungandpritty]

I don't know if these details matter, but I'll share them anyway. I met this guy on a dating app. We didn't talk for very long before he suggested we meet up.

First day we agreed to meet at 7 and he said his professor scheduled a last minute rehearsal, so he could only meet me at 9. I said 9 was too late and that we had to reschedule. 

Then, the day we met for our first date, he was 45 minutes late because he said he had to meet with his professor, then he got stuck in traffic. I was okay with all of it because he was apologetic and was keeping me updated.

The first date was great. We just sat and chatted for hours over Starbucks drinks. Then when the date was over, he asked me for my number. Before that point, we'd been communicating through the chat function on the dating app. When I went back to check on our conversation later that day, his account had disappeared. I thought maybe he was actually serious about getting to know me.

We were chatting then he brought up that he'd be free this week, and suggested that we set up a second date. All three times we were setting up dates, he just suggested that we meet up and left time and location up to me. So, I picked a place on a day he said he was free.

I texted him the night before to confirm, and he said we're still on. Today I went to the place and texted him when I arrived. I got a message back saying "Receiver unable to receive message- Message Blocking is active" . I thought that meant he blocked me, until I read things online saying it could be an error message or indicate that he didn't pay his phone bill. So I waited at the place for an hour and a half, just to be safe, in case he was late again. I had no way to reach him- calling wasn't working and he'd taken his dating profile down. Finally I just left.

I feel pretty *** right now, but I'm also thinking- why would he go through the trouble of asking me for my number, suggesting we set a second date, then confirming it just to stand me up? There must be an explanation, right? 

He seemed like such a genuine nice guy on the first date. What's going on???

[Batya33]

Is it possible the "professor" is his significant other?

[Cherylyn]

He deceived and betrayed your trust in him. 

He asked for your number to make himself appear to be a nice guy when all along, he was not nor will he ever be.  It was an act.  He's a fake and phony.

I'm sorry.  He was a jerk.  Move on from this and him. 

[Wiseman2]

27 minutes ago, yungandpritty said:

 I went to the place and texted him when I arrived. I got a message back saying "Receiver unable to receive message- Message Blocking is active" .

Sorry this happened. Delete and block him. Is it possible he's in a relationship? It seems like he's unreliable. Sudden disappearance of his dating profile and phone number doesn't look good.

[Andrina]

Don't drive yourself crazy trying to figure out a stranger you'll never see again. It's par for the course when you're doing OLD. I know for myself, on a first meet, a certain guy seemed totally normal and nice, and on the second date, I found out he was a nut job.

Don't let one bad apple make you give up. I had to go on meet ups with about 30 men before I found the treasure. Anyway, my friends were entertained by my ridiculous stories.

Take care.

 

 

[Kwothe28]

45 minutes ago, yungandpritty said:

I had no way to reach him- calling wasn't working and he'd taken his dating profile down.

Taken down? Or blocked you there also?

My guess is that he stood you up but didnt want to deal with drama so blocked you everywhere so you cant contact him. First on dating app since he took your number so he blocked you on app so you couldnt see activity. And after he decided to stood you up, blocked you on phone too. If I have to guess, I would say that he has quite a few of women like you lined up from the dating app. So he just cruises along and doesnt care if he stood up few of them. Sorry it happened.

[catfeeder]

Sounds like this guy is in the habit of juggling lots of people, delaying one while he's with another, letting one drop if he gets lucky with someone else.

His professor was a cover, and the guy is a turd. You're lucky to be rid of him.

Adopt resilience and keep meeting men until you stumble on a good one. Avoid investing in appearances, and allow people to EARN your trust over t.i.m.e. before believing everything you hear from them.

Head high, and allow the bad matches to pass early. 

[limichelle]

It sucks that he pulled the Casper routine. I’ve been ghosted numerous times but never stood up. I can’t imagine how awful that is. I feel for you OP. 
 

just see it as a blessing more then anything else. He showed you that he’s not worth it to date. So he saved you more time to spend on a better guy.

 

anyway that’s what I tell myself each time I get the disappearing clown that comes my way.

[MissCanuck]

7 hours ago, yungandpritty said:

He seemed like such a genuine nice guy on the first date

Eh, keep in mind that everyone is on their best behaviour on the first date, and what you see is barely scratching the surface of who a person really is. 

7 hours ago, yungandpritty said:

There must be an explanation, right? 

Maybe he's not all that single, and the "professor" is really another woman. 

It sucks, but try not to let it get to you too much. He's obviously not the man he presented himself to be. 

[smackie9]

That's terrible. I have single friends using dating apps and yes it happens, they get stood up. Some people are just rude. Look at it this way...you dodged a bullet. This just shows what kind of a person he is. You can never take these things seriously. Why he did it? who knows, and really you shouldn't spend your energy on wondering why. You have better things to do with your time. Remember don't base your value on how these idiots treat you. I bet money on it he's a repeat offender. 

[Batya33]

1 hour ago, smackie9 said:

Remember don't base your value on how these idiots treat you.

Quoting because yes!! This is so important -and I'd repeat it to myself if needed.

[Lambert]

20 hours ago, yungandpritty said:

He seemed like such a genuine nice guy on the first date

I read your post and didn't find one thing that sounded nice. 

You dodged a bullet. This guy is a waste. 

[Coily]

Another empty suit on OLD. Sadly there are tons of inconsiderate weirdos like that out there. Head up and press on, find someone who will make the effort.