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limichelle

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Everything posted by limichelle

  1. Okay I just read he goes to clubs with other girls. Why do you stay?
  2. My sense is if someone lies to you they are covering something up. It could be tiny or problematic. The only way to know is to ask. But you could also be over questioning the friendship making him feel insecure and that’s why he is lying, because he doesn’t want to upset you.
  3. Hi! I'm glad to read how self aware you are of your symptoms. That’s the first step to getting help. I would write these symptoms down and share them with a psychiatrist or psychologist. I wouldn’t worry about the medication because all medication has side effects. What you have to look at is will the medication improve your quality of life. best of luck!
  4. I used to have a rule with my friends when I was young. That if we both liked the same guy we both didn’t pursue. It was out of respect and it was a golden rule. It’s not worth ruining the friendship over. However that was if we saw the guy and liked him at the same time. unfortunately in your case it’s a bit different. It sounds like an unfortunate coincidence that you both happened to stumble upon him in different times without knowing it. So I don’t feel she is doing anything wrong. It hurts and I get that. But you need to ask yourself if this is something you can be happy for her. Because the guy really wasn’t yours and she didn’t steal him from you. If anything it’s two people who share a connection and you who has taken a liking. I say find another guy and one that’s right for you.
  5. Op, You know the amount someone messages you can be tricky because it’s not always adequate to their feelings. Just because she messages you less doesn’t mean she likes you less. If you feel though you are putting in more effort and it is one sided. I would advise you re thinking the relationship. Honestly it’s not healthy to have an uneven balance in feelings. You need someone who feels as much as you do.
  6. Thanks you guys! What I need is to really learn how to change my mindset and food habits. The surgery won’t fix that like you said bolt. I feel if anything I’ll have more issues. I do know some who succeed with surgery and then some who did horrible afterwards. I don’t want to do a risky procedure only to not know how to change my eating to not being able to cope. Plus I found out regarding the hunger hormones they cut out from surgery. People afterwards still have uncomfortable hunger and it’s even worse because the mind can’t catch up to the stomach size. The personal trainer is also well versed in nutrition, and so she can help me with both. Plus I like that she will be with me every step of the way on my transformation.
  7. I decided to cancel having the Bariatric surgery in September. I have given it much thought and it doesn’t sit right in my gut having surgery. I’m instead getting a personal trainer and going to loose weight naturally. I don’t think surgery is the answer. I found a woman trainer who is supposedly one of the best in my area. I have a consultation with her Tuesday June 29th.
  8. The only thing I would worry about is how he is with commitment. Seeing as how he’s never dated before or had a relationship. My concern will be if he’s really ready to settle down. You will be his first everything. On the flip side you should see where it goes but go slow keeping that in mind. However, I did date a wonderful guy and he was in his thirties still a virgin and never dated anyone because he felt being overweight at the time hindered him. He was very engaging and direct with what he wanted and his intentions. Unfortunately it didn’t work out as there wasn’t much chemistry. So this guy may be more settled then you think. The only way to know is to date him. I say give him a chance! We all have to start somewhere and who knows he may have been waiting for someone perfect for him to come along!
  9. Hi! What do you think is making you feel insecure? You trust him right? It’s just a group of friends regardless of gender no matter how you look at it. To be honest better a group then one on one with a female giving you suspicious behavior. Am I right? This all comes down to Trust.
  10. It’s good you recognize the situation is toxic. Now that you realize this please leave him, at this point it doesn’t matter whose the abuser. Just always leave toxicity behind. Life’s too short!
  11. Aww I’m sorry 😞 It doesn’t sound as if he’s interested. Focus on you’re healing and don’t give up. The right guy will be letting you know he’s interested.
  12. No definitely not! First it’s a thousand for school then another couple grand for something else. This is how scammers hook people. I would do a google search and background check on this guy. Better yet block and move on.
  13. I don’t know… but then I’m skeptical about long distance and when you go from fantasy to reality. I was in a long distance relationship with someone and when we met it was disappointing. Also if you feel she could be a scammer even though right now things are good, doesn’t mean you’re not far off from your gut instinct. Listen closely to it!
  14. He’s shown you from the start he can’t keep away from this ‘friend.’ You obviously don’t trust him from even the start as you looked through his messages. it’s safe to say he’s never going to give up the girl. This is where you need to realize you no longer can have say and don yourself a favor by leaving this relationship all together. why waste time on him? You can be spending this time focusing on your needs and finding someone better.
  15. Thank you so much! I love everyone’s feedback. I used to be thin before I put on the weight. I then got diagnosed with a serious mental illness. Then due to the medication I was put on it slowed down my metabolism to the point gaining was easy. I also never felt full on the medication. I started rapidly putting on weight. I have tried different types of medicine and they all do the same thing. I need the medication for life. The surgeon explained that the hunger hormones will be cut out so that communication between the psych medication and the gut will stop. So hopefully I get some relief that way.
  16. Thanks everyone! Holly: I have before with a therapist. I feel it will help me greatly with my hunger by reducing it quite a bit.
  17. Can’t you just do a hook up then? Don’t use some girl saying you want a relationship when you clearly just want sex.
  18. I completely agree with everything Batya said! OP: You’re still young, it’s not as if you’re 95. Even then I wouldn’t tell you to settle. Settling is never a good option, it’s better to be single then just with someone for you to no longer be alone. I bet you if you do settle you’ll feel lonely. Because being alone and loneliness are separate from each other. If you think about it.
  19. Awww thanks! Seraphim: aww thank you! Yeah I’ve unfortunately witnessed a friend regain her Bariatric weight. She did tell me it’s because she went in thinking of it as a fix rather then a tool. I know it will be a good tool to help me but I’ll be doing all of the work. Batya: I have my parents to help me out with the post op. Which I’m grateful for. Thank you for your encouraging words. I knew I had to tell my ENotalone family.
  20. I gained a lot of weight back and then some these past few months. Granted I had really lost 30 pounds from my heaviest. But gained 15 of that back. I have struggled with obesity not even being overweight for the past 15 years! I’ve tried everything you can think of, Nutritionist, Weight loss plans all of them and appetite suppressants. I thought I was doing good and even posted here about my loss. Only to yo yo back up and down. I have considered weight loss surgery off and on for the past five years. I finally bit the bullet and got a consultation with a Bariatric surgeon. I saw him two weeks ago. I told him my struggles and I was quite candid about all concerns. He told me that surgery will be my best bet. He said the fact I have lost some weight shows I am capable of making the change. He said it’s a lot to do with my hunger. He is right! I’m so miserable with my hunger that I can’t function it seems. I’m so miserable with my body. My health is bad with my back and joints. I’m high up on the scale. So he said he will do the Gastric Sleeve because in surgery they get rid of the hunger hormones most of them. He said given my particular circumstances I’ll benefit and be successful. It’s a huge life change it’s something I’m not going in thinking it’s a quick fix or take lightly. So September I’m having Gastric Sleeve. Right now I’m crossing off the check list required for it like different medical tests to get done. I’m doing this surgery for myself and I’m ready to commit to this lifestyle change. I’ll keep you guys updated. I was nervous posting about this because I was saying last time oh I’m doing great and I’m losing weight. Yeah it’s a large struggle unfortunately.
  21. Please don’t be so desperate that you play “Eenie, meenie, Minnie, mo....okay I chose you.” I mean work more on yourself and stay single until the right girl comes along. What difference would it make being single and available for Mrs. right or being taken by Ms. Right now and unavailable for the right one?
  22. limichelle

    Tinder...

    The only way to show someone you’re missed is by your absence. I say the tinder profile is a giant red flag. He’s entertaining the idea of someone else and that’s dangerous In itself. His past doesn’t define him.
  23. I look at it this way. No time to see you after all you just listed?! Time to say “ ok, see ya!” Then send him off his way. he did you a gigantic favor! This guy is a control freak and probably abusive.
  24. He doesn’t sound like an ex op. Re think this because none of it adds up. Trust your gut instinct!
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