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How to be happy alone?


kamurj
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Stop placing value in what others think about you. It’s none of your business. Acknowledge the beauty within yourself and embrace it. No one on the face of the earth has as much ability to know yourself as you do. Make peace with this simple truth and rejoice in it. 

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I don't believe you can.  Not truly alone.  We're innate social creatures and if you leave a newborn completely alone, they die due to lack of affection.  Nures come in just to hold and rock a baby for a while if they've been displaced from their mother.

I think the single most important part of any of our lives is after being delivered and the moment our moms hold us for the first time, and everything that comes with.  It is so damn important.

Being entirely alone leads to insanity.  Apparently if you reside in a room without windows or any form of stimulation, you'll crack within three days.

You can't be happy alone, no matter how much you'd like to trick yourself.

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This such a broad statement-- being alone.  On the one hand, we're always alone.  Another person cannot live for you or carry your burdens.  Of course, others can help soothe us or support us, but we have to live our own lives for ourselves and deal with it.  Whatever that is.

But if it's meant in the context of being out of a romantic relationship, I think it's a choice to be happy.  It's not good to be so afraid of being alone that abuse and disrespect is accepted.  So in that respect, one would have to look at it as better to be alone and thus choosing to be alone.  Even if it's just temporary. After all life is temporary.  Just doesn't feel like it.  🙂

 

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41 minutes ago, LikeWater said:

When was the last time you were entirely alone?  Not for a day or a week, a substantial amount of time.  I'm talking nobody, no friends or family.  I'd like you to convince me that isn't hell.

Like some people, I lived in isolated quarantine for roughly a year and a half. I have elderly parents, so I was extra cautious not to deliver virus on our rare visits. 

While I can only speak for myself, I view happiness as a decision. And to challenge my decisions, I find it helpful to replace the word "can't" with "won't" for accuracy.

For instance, "I can't be happy alone," becomes, "I won't be happy alone." This helps me to view it as a choice I'll want to make rather than a sentence imposed upon me.

And, the answers we each choose for ourselves will be 'right'.

So if I decide that I can't or won't be happy, then that WILL be my experience. If I decide the opposite, I'll be just as diligent in seeking 'proof' that my choice is so. 

While I don't claim that this will work for everyone, I like to think of myself as in charge of my own disposition. When I consider something to be my choice, I find it far easier to agree.

 

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No idea why there was a response re: as far back as birth?  But I take this question on How to be Happy Alone, as myself being an adult and yes with windows & access to others.

I have not been in a relationship in over 3 yrs and am all fine with it.  As I know I cannot handle any of that - expectations, stress, etc.

So, while I am single, I do hang out on occasion with a friend or 2.  I can go visit parents, I go shopping and am at home doing my own things.  I enjoy my shows, entertainment online and my crafts.  So, I try to remain busy enough and enjoy my time, plus I also have a couple pets who keep me company 🙂 

As it is, yes I am happy with this. I am okay. ( Not saying all are feeling the same way.... being 'alone').  But this is how it is for me. Everyone has their own experiences, challenges etc going on, so they'd be in different mindsets.

 

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To be happy alone, you would have to be not need the validation of having a partner to feel like you have self worth.

You would need to draw on your strengths, and possible healing, and make them your priority so you can find your own self worth, self confidence and strengths.

And lastly, your focus would need to be on experiencing the world as a single person and sincerely find enjoyment in that. 

Make sure to learn new skills, meet new people, or old friends and family.

Find new places to explore and learn how to be comfortable doing it all as a single person.

Many people can, and do live the single life and are quite happy and satisfied with it.

It's more than possible.

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When I first saw the question I didn’t think “alone” meant not being in a relationship. I took it literally and will answer that way. Feeling happy (whatever happy means to you - could be an adrenaline rush or peaceful or content - whatever it means) comes from enjoyment of what you’re doing - or of doing nothing. Sometimes it’s work to figure it out. But worthwhile work. And not imposing your interpretation on others. How? If you’re not already happy with your solo activity or solo nothingness make it your business to explore what imbues you with light with a sense of rightness.   Example - I work out daily alone mostly because it’s impractical for me to coordinate with anyone else or attend a group class but I’ve discovered over many years I am happy working out solo.  And I’ve declined opportunities to meet up with a workout partner. I love walking with others and hiking but my morning exercise - I’m quite happy solo. 

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Contentment isn't just about relationships, even though they can be a big part of it. 

Being alone can often be thought of as a bad thing or feel like a bad thing. It's something that you have to learn to adapt to, just like social situations. Some people might never get used to it and that's fine too. What you need to find is contentment in your everyday life. Just like you want to be in healthy relations with people, you need to have a healthy relationship with yourself. So you have to give and do special things for yourself. Even though I don't have many friends or family living in the same city as me, I still find ways to be happy by myself. I read books that make me feel fulfilled, I paint, I play piano, and I take long walks. I try my best to learn something new every week, sometimes I even take up a dreaded math book that brings me back to my school days. Learning makes me happy. Other times, just sitting on a park bench to watch and listen to the world can make me feel content. One of the most important things I think to do (whether you are alone or not) is journaling. Just letting thoughts sit in silence and linger alone, I tend to find is not a healthy thing. It's like sending an email or sharing an inside joke with a loved one. 

Don't make being alone a thing to be guilty about, your mentality decides how you perceive things. The only thing that will come of negativity is negativity. Being kind to yourself and giving yourself room to breathe isn't a bad thing, it's a good thing. So get up every morning, breathe in and out. Make your life a life worth living.

You also have to know, that you can't be happy all the time. That's unattainable. I might sound like I have my life somewhat together, but everyone has hardships. I've lost and I've found contentment in my life. Not every day is a struggle but not every day is filled with happiness. There is no real solution or a step-by-step way to run your life. You just have to live it. In the end, it all comes down to what you did when you were alive and how you feel about it. Life is a bittersweet place.

Edited by Neve_Monaghan
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