Neve_Monaghan

You sound like a very nice person who gives a lot, that is a good thing but it can also be scary for people. Giving too much of yourself or kindness right off the bat isn't always the best way to go about things. You have to ease yourself into relationships and friendships. Otherwise, it can put people off if you go in too strong. Relationships are about adapting and interests, not just giving. Kindness is a wonderful trait to have, but sometimes it can be overwhelming. That's when people take advantage of you. Asking you to do certain things that you shouldn't have to do for them. Over-investing can get you hurt most often when trying to form a relationship. Instead of giving too much, you should try sharing. My best friend is a completely different person from me. We still are able to have a strong bond. This is because we give but most important we share. Sharing is about equally giving. You equally give support and you equally are there for each other. You both give in to things for each other. It's not just a one-sided relationship, where one person is doing all the giving. Relating to a person is one of the biggest things in friendship. In food, media, memories, school, or careers. You have to either it off or learn how to relate to one another. To have a relationship you have to have an interest in one another. Banter and communication are other big things. Being able to talk to someone about just anything, and having a functioning conversation is big. We learn to adapt to each other's styles. Adaption is the last thing I will talk about. I've talked about it before in the note. You need to learn to adapt to different people and their ways of life. Like from the day we are born to now we have adapted (for the most part) to living with and being inside our families, we must adapt to relationships outside our predetermined circles of people we were born into. Learn to adapt to humour and learn to adapt to change. When someone enters your life, you adapt to their life too. You become a little part of one another. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. You shouldn't always be the one giving and you shouldn't have to.

Contentment isn't just about relationships, even though they can be a big part of it. Being alone can often be thought of as a bad thing or feel like a bad thing. It's something that you have to learn to adapt to, just like social situations. Some people might never get used to it and that's fine too. What you need to find is contentment in your everyday life. Just like you want to be in healthy relations with people, you need to have a healthy relationship with yourself. So you have to give and do special things for yourself. Even though I don't have many friends or family living in the same city as me, I still find ways to be happy by myself. I read books that make me feel fulfilled, I paint, I play piano, and I take long walks. I try my best to learn something new every week, sometimes I even take up a dreaded math book that brings me back to my school days. Learning makes me happy. Other times, just sitting on a park bench to watch and listen to the world can make me feel content. One of the most important things I think to do (whether you are alone or not) is journaling. Just letting thoughts sit in silence and linger alone, I tend to find is not a healthy thing. It's like sending an email or sharing an inside joke with a loved one. Don't make being alone a thing to be guilty about, your mentality decides how you perceive things. The only thing that will come of negativity is negativity. Being kind to yourself and giving yourself room to breathe isn't a bad thing, it's a good thing. So get up every morning, breathe in and out. Make your life a life worth living. You also have to know, that you can't be happy all the time. That's unattainable. I might sound like I have my life somewhat together, but everyone has hardships. I've lost and I've found contentment in my life. Not every day is a struggle but not every day is filled with happiness. There is no real solution or a step-by-step way to run your life. You just have to live it. In the end, it all comes down to what you did when you were alive and how you feel about it. Life is a bittersweet place.