People Of ENA! A Question!

[Fudgie]

I've been here quite a while, although not as long as some...almost 12 years? 

When I joined, I was barely out of my teens. Rough around the edges, deeply dissatisfied with many things in my life, still trying to figure things out. Cocky at times, and not at others, inconsistent and in Flux at times yet stubborn and hard-nosed. Seraphim can attest, I was a (Un)holy terror. I still had a lot to learn.

At the time, I was in a relationship with a man who was almost 40 years my senior and was feeling rather ostracized. We were together for a couple years, no regrets. He and I still talk to this day - looking back, it was a nice relationship and he's a good man. 

ENA did not give me the reassuring udder rubs to my ego that I was looking for at the time but I got so much more. 

I am now in my early 30s and so much yet so little has changed for me. I can't say I'm fundamentally different. I am in a much better place mentally, I've chilled out, and I  learned to let things live. Experience has smoothed out my rough edges but I'm still touch as nails.

[Lambert]

Great question!

I found my way here, as many do,  through heart break. It was about a dozen years ago! And thankfully the details are a vague memory. 

I stick around because I learn a lot from everyone's posts and advice. 

In real life, I'm an international spy that's been grounded through the pandemic. 🤣

[maritalbliss86]

I first started reading here and posting some way back in 2008 or 2009, and I don't know what led me to this site.  But I know I found it fascinating to read so many different opinions.  Then I got distracted with life and kids and work and everything, that I didn't get back on apparently until 2017 (!) and had to make a new account. 

I was 21 or 22 when I first started reading here.  ❤️ 

[maritalbliss86]

I remember back then telling some male commenter that seemed to have good financial sense, that my husband and I were going to try to live on 1,000/mo !  He was kind and encouraging, but definitely did not believe that was going to be possible! LOL

It was a nice try though 😂

[mylolita]

13 hours ago, Andrina said:

I've probably been on about a dozen years at the time I met my present husband. I believe I once read another poster saying she needed a different outlet after she no longer needed online dating, and that was my case as well. Although, I do also write novels as a hobby, but my brain needs breaks from that. I do not log in while at work. I go onto this forum on days off or after work, since my husband arrives home several hours after I do.

Like many, I've been mistreated during certain periods of my life, and have made plenty of mistakes of my own, so if I can save someone else from staying subjected to abuse and avoid the mistakes I've made, then at least I'm contributing something worthwhile to the world.

I've also held a sense of accomplishment at work in the agriculture field, and have done a lot of interesting things during my lifetime like helping to rehabilitate a manatee. My username stems from a mythological mermaid.

Andrina, 

 

You always give off a very sweet, soft and feminine energy! I don’t know why, but I always get that from your posts! Your username is very pretty sounding and yes, mythical! I could imagine you working with exotic sea animals! What a fab mix of work and passions!

 

I am so curious about your novel writing! So many here seem to either write for fun, enjoy writing responses or penning their journal or are even published or work in publishing or something to do with writing! What kind of novels do you write?

 

Thank you for your response!

 

x

 

 

 

[mylolita]

12 hours ago, Rose Mosse said:

I joined at the end of destructive and confusing relationship. The name/alias is made up and means nothing. My favourite was being called Rose Moose when interacting with other members. I guess autocorrect can do great things. I’m a business owner. 

So many here also seem to own their own businesses Rose!

 

Maybe this is how you all find the time to post here on the regular!

 

Can I ask what type of business you are in?

 

x

[mylolita]

11 hours ago, Blue_Skirt said:

Hi Lo,

 

I joined back in 2006, but as you can see, I have not posted that much in 16 years, because I find it takes a lot of time to give a thoughtful reply. I can’t remember what made me join, I think I must have stumbled upon this site and I am coming back ever since. I mostly read on here and I have read a lot of good advice over the years. I find it interesting to see other peoples’ perspectives. Quite often, especially in the beginning, I found myself thinking: I have never thought about this issue in this way. That is quite eye opening.

 

I chose my screen name because I was wearing a blue skirt that day and blue is my favorite color. When I joined, I was working for a company, where we had to change our passwords every so often, that I started to run out of ideas. I took a more practical approach that I would change my passwords to things that were on my desk or in my office. So, when I registered here, I took the same approach and choose something practical.

 

I now work for myself, don’t work for an employer anymore. I am in financial services, have a couple of nice clients and I can work both from home and at my clients’ offices on a regular basis, which I find quite a nice mix. Finally, no husband, no boyfriend, no kids, but happy :-).

Blue!
 

Another long term username I am familiar with! I love hearing the meaning behind these avatar names! 
 

Wow, financial services! What do you think of cryptocurrency? 🤣 Please tell me all the secrets! Is it worth splurging 30k on a Bitcoin?! Hahaha!

 

All the best,

 

x

[mylolita]

8 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

I think from "regulars" I am the youngest(in terms of being here). In April it will be a year since I am here. I had a confusing dating situation. And while I am usually very "emphatic" at reading signs whether somebody likes me or not(to the point I cant remember somebody turned me off for a date), this one was very confusing. Turns out she was just looking attention and not just from me. Its long in past as far as I am concerned so doesnt matter. 

But I did stay around. I like to write and give advices, as well as hearing different life stories, and people here are generally nice. Plus it does help for my job. Which is freelancing(working from home) where I need to use English heavily even though its not my first language. It did help me a lot during pandemic(plus the pay is nice) but I do miss working with people(in terms of having a collective at work) so took a few steps to ensure that is changed, but we will see.

Kwothe!

 

I would have never guessed English was not your first language! Ya brain box! 
 

To me you have a very gentle and placid energy when you post! You don’t seem “new” at all! 
 

x

[mylolita]

9 hours ago, SherrySher said:

Ms. Lo, (one of my faves) 😉

When did I come here? Apparently 6 years ago (yes I had to go look it up).

I have studied nursing(2 years), and also psychology (4 years, although I am always learning).

I think life can teach a person just as much, if not more than a textbook. I have learnt a great deal on this forum.

My career was supposed to be in the area of counselling, or nursing. However, life had different plans for me. I became disabled and had to let some things go in my life.

I now do a small business from my home and am a writer. (Working on different projects, and still learning in that area too!).

Great to hear from everyone.

Wiseman a neanderthal, never!...he's too good at word games to be a caveman. 😆

 

Hey hey Sherry! 😘
 

Ahh, the psychology aspect makes sense! Your posting to me is very practical, thought through, you have empathy but you don’t mince your words! Making of a good nurse I can imagine saying, “Come now Mr Smith let’s sit you up!” 🤣 

 

And another writer!!!! Oh my God this is all coming outta the woodwork isn’t it! Please tell me a bit more about your projects, what you like to write about?

 

All the best,

 

x

[mylolita]

8 hours ago, bluecastle said:

I washed up on these curious shores in 2017, I think.

Was coming out of a mushroom cloud of a breakup, and, like so many, my heart and (especially) my ego was all sorts of dizzy. I was hoping an anonymous chorus of internet strangers would hear my story and say something along the lines of: sounds like there's a great chance for y'all to take that wreckage and turn it into rainbows, so long as you do x, y, and z! Because then, you know, I could be right and avoid feeling the full weight of what the world was asking me to feel.

Didn't get that, as a wreck is a wreck, and thank this site for helping me learn that deceptively simple lesson. Deep down, I think that's what I wanted and needed to hear. 

I was drawn to all the voices here, the vastly different perspectives in dealing with the most universal of human conditions: pain, confusion, love, loss, yearning. Can't remember the exact thread that drew me in, but it was a teenager going through heartbreak and he got a really tender response from someone who was posting about an epic divorce. That display of compassion really moved me, and inspired me to throw own voice into the ring whenever I felt I had something to say, or that someone really needed to feel heard.

Also, as someone who can slip pretty wildly out on the ice of life, I think listening to others and offering some thoughts helped me become more conscious about my own desires, wants, values, boundaries, all that. Kept me in check, you could say. A forever work in progress, all that, of course. 

 

Bluecastle!

 

Your posts are like miniature slices of pure poetry. You take advice giving to the next level! Seems like so many here have come initially with relationship dilemmas, myself included.

 

Please tell me you most definitely ARE a writer as well? Well, you are to me, whether you do it professionally or not.

 

I remember your name also from along time ago and always know when I start reading your reply it’s going to be something coming from a different angle and also, so beautifully written.

 

x

[mylolita]

7 hours ago, Fudgie said:

I've been here quite a while, although not as long as some...almost 12 years? 

When I joined, I was barely out of my teens. Rough around the edges, deeply dissatisfied with many things in my life, still trying to figure things out. Cocky at times, and not at others, inconsistent and in Flux at times yet stubborn and hard-nosed. Seraphim can attest, I was a (Un)holy terror. I still had a lot to learn.

At the time, I was in a relationship with a man who was almost 40 years my senior and was feeling rather ostracized. We were together for a couple years, no regrets. He and I still talk to this day - looking back, it was a nice relationship and he's a good man. 

ENA did not give me the reassuring udder rubs to my ego that I was looking for at the time but I got so much more. 

I am now in my early 30s and so much yet so little has changed for me. I can't say I'm fundamentally different. I am in a much better place mentally, I've chilled out, and I  learned to let things live. Experience has smoothed out my rough edges but I'm still touch as nails.

Fudgie! 
 

Out of all the usernames here, yours is the one I remember the most from the past! I think your avatar always strikes me as well. That blonde anime is just how I see you, although from my understanding you are a bomb shell of a curvy coloured girl? ☺️
 

Everything you mention regarding your personality comes across in your posts. When you told me you were in the medical field I was not surprised.

 

When I first initially posted, I think you definitely gave advice and some more on top. I remember sitting ontop of the loo, hiding out in the bathroom, about 22 and all in a muddle with everything and everyone’s words kinda, gave me an escape, as soon many people have mentioned here, and also a kind of Pat on the back and collective chin up, made all the more sweet because it was from perfect strangers who never needed to help me at all, but did!

 

I know you have a very busy work life but I want to thank you for all your help and advice you have given me over the years.

 

x

[mylolita]

7 hours ago, Lambert said:

Great question!

I found my way here, as many do,  through heart break. It was about a dozen years ago! And thankfully the details are a vague memory. 

I stick around because I learn a lot from everyone's posts and advice. 

In real life, I'm an international spy that's been grounded through the pandemic. 🤣

Lambert! 
 

You are cheeky like your impish dancing avatar! Always appreciate your posts! 
 

Glad your heart mended!

 

All the best, hopefully your double oh lifestyle can continue and you can get back to the bond babes!

 

x

[mylolita]

6 hours ago, maritalbliss86 said:

I first started reading here and posting some way back in 2008 or 2009, and I don't know what led me to this site.  But I know I found it fascinating to read so many different opinions.  Then I got distracted with life and kids and work and everything, that I didn't get back on apparently until 2017 (!) and had to make a new account. 

I was 21 or 22 when I first started reading here.  ❤️ 

Ahhhh Martial!

 

Yes my friend, I understand the hiatus and off and ons! Something keeps pulling us back here, doesn’t it! 
 

Your advice is always so warming and heartfelt. I have to thank you as well for all the time you have taken to support me when I am wallowing in my self inflicted drama! 
 

You sound like you have a beautiful family - job well done!

 

x

[Blue_Skirt]

1 hour ago, mylolita said:

Wow, financial services! What do you think of cryptocurrency? 🤣 Please tell me all the secrets! Is it worth splurging 30k on a Bitcoin?! Hahaha!

 

Crypto currency is not my field of expertise, lol, so I stay away from Bitcoin & Co. hahaha 😀.

Something else, someone wrote on here that the people are nice on here and I agree. Also, I think that the moderators are doing a great job, so thumbs up for the mods!! 🌼

[mylolita]

2 hours ago, Blue_Skirt said:

Crypto currency is not my field of expertise, lol, so I stay away from Bitcoin & Co. hahaha 😀.

Something else, someone wrote on here that the people are nice on here and I agree. Also, I think that the moderators are doing a great job, so thumbs up for the mods!! 🌼

Yes they are!

 

And yes, when I’m not getting my wrist slapped for talking politics 😉

 

x

[bluecastle]

Thanks for the kind words @mylolita. Really means a lot to hear that.

As for what I do out there in the 3D world, one thing I love about this little world is that it's not so relevant. So, hey, if you like the way I write on this forum that's all that matters! 

(@Lambert We'll be back in business soon.) 

 

[catfeeder]

Hello Lo and All,

I found the forum after a breakup in 2008. I learned so much as a lurker but was too self critical to post my own story. Eventually I'd start writing to others what I believed I needed to say to myself, and I'd use feedback as a compass. 

I've missed a few years here or there, but I continue to view these boards as a rewarding way to appreciate the innermost thoughts and feelings of each of us as a universal part of 'human soup'.

I don't come here during work, but often unwind here afterward.  I view it the way some people view solving crossword or other puzzles--less passive than TV, more interactive than straight reading.

[mylolita]

2 hours ago, bluecastle said:

Thanks for the kind words @mylolita. Really means a lot to hear that.

As for what I do out there in the 3D world, one thing I love about this little world is that it's not so relevant. So, hey, if you like the way I write on this forum that's all that matters! 

(@Lambert We'll be back in business soon.) 

 

I do!

 

It has it’s own little micro Cosmo definitely! 
 

x

[mylolita]

25 minutes ago, catfeeder said:

Hello Lo and All,

I found the forum after a breakup in 2008. I learned so much as a lurker but was too self critical to post my own story. Eventually I'd start writing to others what I believed I needed to say to myself, and I'd use feedback as a compass. 

I've missed a few years here or there, but I continue to view these boards as a rewarding way to appreciate the innermost thoughts and feelings of each of us as a universal part of 'human soup'.

I don't come here during work, but often unwind here afterward.  I view it the way some people view solving crossword or other puzzles--less passive than TV, more interactive than straight reading.

Catfeeder!

 

Yes I have always known your name for years! A veteran!

 

And it’s interesting you come at it from the brain angle! Sometimes I feel the same way! If you are prone to mulling it over thinking or you enjoy a bit of social problem solving it kinda indulges you doesn’t it! 
 

x

[catfeeder]

5 minutes ago, mylolita said:

And it’s interesting you come at it from the brain angle! Sometimes I feel the same way! If you are prone to mulling it over thinking or you enjoy a bit of social problem solving it kinda indulges you doesn’t it! 

Sure. It's not just a brain angle, it's also a heart angle. If I wanted strict brain stuff, I'd go solve math problems. But helping one another figure out how we might behave our way into managing our feelings? That's not lightweight stuff--I find it worthwhile.

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, catfeeder said:

 I view it the way some people view solving crossword or other puzzles

That's why I subscribe to NYT, although I pretend it's "for the articles". They put Wordle behind their paywall so here's to the puzzle solvers:

https://hellowordl.net/

I do like solving problems and helping people. 

[Andrina]

13 hours ago, mylolita said:

You always give off a very sweet, soft and feminine energy! I don’t know why, but I always get that from your posts! Your username is very pretty sounding and yes, mythical! I could imagine you working with exotic sea animals! What a fab mix of work and passions!

 

I am so curious about your novel writing! So many here seem to either write for fun, enjoy writing responses or penning their journal or are even published or work in publishing or something to do with writing! What kind of novels do you write?

Ha ha, My mother always called me a tomboy, so that's funny my writings come off as a feminine energy. It's usually better to stick to one genre as a writer to create a brand, but I get too bored doing that. All of my manuscripts are in the process of editing as I've learned so much over the years, so I'm having to fix them all. I'm also in a critique group with other writers. I have an editor from Wild Rose Press interested in my time travel romance but she wanted particular edits to it that I'm working on and I will resubmit in March. I have another romance novel with a little bit of magical realism, a novel of suspense about people surviving alligator attacks, a novella that's paranormal, and a short story involving a ghost who is a flapper. I love magical and paranormal elements in stories as an escape from the drama of real life.

[limichelle]

I came here in 2015 right after my 11 year relationship ended. I was heartbroken and lost. This forum gave me the swift kick in the butt I needed. As I was also talking to a guy online at the time after the breakup. 
 

The members here have seen me through every heartache, disappointment and weird story I’ve told about my problems dating.

 

I even could come here for non relationship problems. I’ve had health scares and a trauma. This place is a place I can vent, get and give support. 
 

Everyone here gives valuable advice. Sometimes it’s not advice I want to hear but it’s advice that speaks the truth always.

 

I love my ENA family!

[Spawn]

back in 2006, generally we are all nice human beings but life's experiences can keep all good things covered by a layer of emotions that need time to separate from the soul. People here i found more compassionate sometimes blunt sometimes they judge you but generally its good to see all that they share with you for you. Ultimately all advices help you know a part of you that you can never expect to feel otherwise in life , with the people around you .

[mylolita]

21 hours ago, Andrina said:

Ha ha, My mother always called me a tomboy, so that's funny my writings come off as a feminine energy. It's usually better to stick to one genre as a writer to create a brand, but I get too bored doing that. All of my manuscripts are in the process of editing as I've learned so much over the years, so I'm having to fix them all. I'm also in a critique group with other writers. I have an editor from Wild Rose Press interested in my time travel romance but she wanted particular edits to it that I'm working on and I will resubmit in March. I have another romance novel with a little bit of magical realism, a novel of suspense about people surviving alligator attacks, a novella that's paranormal, and a short story involving a ghost who is a flapper. I love magical and paranormal elements in stories as an escape from the drama of real life.

Wow Andrina!

 

Your imagination is wild! Would love to read something you wrote one day! All the best with your writing career! So cool!

 

x