Figured out that my fiance who I love has antisocial personality disorder/ (aka) sociopath.. What can I do to help us but not allow her to keep getting away with the disrespect dicietfullness and being treated like I am not worth anything in her eyes

[Hopelessromantic90]

• Disregard for right and wrong
    • Does this by knowing she should not do something but does it 
• Persistent lying or deceit to exploit others
    • She will promise things and immedidatly break that promise 
• Being callous, cynical and disrespectful of others
    • Consistantly laughs when im upset and does not give me her attention
• Using charm or wit to manipulate others for personal gain or personal pleasure
    • Shell give me the affection ive been wanting after I refuse to do something or give her something but only if she cant find a way around it by getting said thing somewhere else or having someone els do it despite knowing im doing it because I want to talk and fix whatever problem we r having
• Arrogance, a sense of superiority and being extremely opinionated
    • Does this by always putting her wants before my needs or needs of the relationship and my wants are not even on her map 
    • Also she does this by after walking trough something with her on why shell agree with all but still reatin her origianal opinion despite having aagreed to a variable  fact that would make anyone else reasonably change their opinion ie (if you think that you didn’t do anything wrong by going to a guys place while we were fighting "multiple ocasions" and the reason we were fighting was because you were hanging with him before that all while you are texting as if to try and fix the problem aand stop fighting basically how do you fix something if what broke that thing that needs fixed is beeing done while you try to fix it ?? You cant fix a phone that fell in water while its still in water right .?no you cant 
• Recurring problems with the law, including criminal behavior
    • She has an extensive record manurfacturing and attempt to manurfature produce and sell narcotics 
    • Conspiring to aid in illigal selling of sex
    • Fake liscense plate 
    • No insurance
    • No reg
    • And a few other drug related ones and minor petty *** 

• Repeatedly violating the rights of others through intimidation and dishonesty
    • Consitintly by always taking away my right to choose by lying example 
    (asking a girl how many guys she slept with or if she was with any black guys or white guys etc and she  answers no then to find out not only is it a lie but also she only got with black guys or white guys etc she claims I didn’t feel like it was ok for you to ask and you reply well that’s ok if that’s how you felt but you could have said " I didn’t feel comfertable answering that qustion or id prefer to tell you another time " this takes away the right to choose for himself based off honesty
• Impulsiveness or failure to plan ahead
    • Always a message saying something how she going her going there with only a minutes of notice if any and ask me if I wanna go and if I say yeah I gotta get myself ready she gets irrattedtd if I take longer than  30 mins but if I say no she brings it up in  fights how I never wanna go do thing  
• Hostility, significant irritability, agitation, aggression or violence
    • Anytime I try to have heart to heart meaningful talk about us she gets aggetatied as if im being redicouluss and inconvienincing her
• Lack of empathy for others and lack of remorse about harming others
    • Hurts me and despite knowing it she wont try to see if im ok or not I will have to be extreamly irect about the fact im upset mad sad etc and even then she silent sits and then say ok  has nothing to say and will still  go about doing whatever it was that hurt me and does not think about how her actions affect me and us
• Unnecessary risk-taking or dangerous behavior with no regard for the safety of self or others

• Poor or abusive relationships

• Failure to consider the negative consequences of behavior or learn from them

• Being consistently irresponsible and repeatedly failing to fulfill work or financial obligations
 

 

[Seraphim]

You don’t help . There is nothing to help. You get out . 

[SooSad33]

26 minutes ago, Hopelessromantic90 said:

Using charm or wit to manipulate others for personal gain or personal pleasure
    • Shell give me the affection ive been wanting after I refuse to do something or give her something but only if she cant find a way around it by getting said thing somewhere else or having someone els do it despite knowing im doing it because I want to talk and fix whatever problem we r having
• Arrogance, a sense of superiority and being extremely opinionated
    • Does this by always putting her wants before my needs or needs of the relationship and my wants are not even on her map 

And.. You want to try & make this work?  Why?

Someone who's been nothing but toxic to me will not remain in my life.

You know how she is. This is her personality. 

Your choice to remain to be continously abused.

[SherrySher]

It's not fixable. You either accept abuse, or you leave and stay as far away from this person as possible.

There are no other choices here.

This is not me being flippant, or not taking your emotions into account. This is years and years of my own personal experience, and on these forums.

You cannot fix a person like this. Re-read that again. 

She is toxic, she is emotionally and verbally abusive. She also does not think she is in the wrong and I doubt she ever will.

You will continue to be treated terribly if you stay, and it will only get worse.

Start thinking with your head, and not your heart or your nether regions.

This is not fixable. Leave.

[SherrySher]

.........

[Anonymous]

49 minutes ago, Hopelessromantic90 said:

 • She has an extensive record manurfacturing and attempt to manurfature produce and sell narcotics 
    • Conspiring to aid in illigal selling of sex

Ummm, that's pretty bad.

[melancholy123]

This is above your pay grade.  You cannot fix her nor help her.  Your only opttion is to get out while you still can.  She is beyond toxic.

[Wiseman2]

3 hours ago, Hopelessromantic90 said:

 taking away my right to choose by lying example 

    (asking a girl how many guys she slept with or if she was with any black guys or white guys etc 

Is she a drug addict?

[Cherylyn]

Dissolve and exit the relationship. 

[Capricorn3]

Instead of trying to figure out your girlfriend, you should really figure out why on earth you are still with her.  THAT is the bigger issue.  Please go back and re-read all your threads about this girl and really absorb all your words and then ask the very relevant question of  WHY are YOU still with her?  What exactly do you get out of this dysfunctional and toxic relationship?  It says more about you, than her (imo).

[MissCanuck]

You can't do anything but end this. 

Sorry. 

[Wiseman2]

What you really need to do rather than googling antisocial personally disorders is block and delete her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

If she's as involved in illegal activity as you claim she is such as sex trafficking and drug distribution, you'll get arrested too.

Have you considered seeing a physician about all this? Is it possible you are having manic episodes or paranoid delusions?

[poorlittlefish]

For your own safety and sanity, get out.  You cannot help someone like this; their traits are who they are.  It's not like asking someone to put the toilet seat down, it's asking someone to change how they think and behave about everything: not gonna happen.

[boltnrun]

I'm not trying to be facetious here, but what disorder do you think someone would have who chooses to be in a relationship with a woman like you described here?

[melancholy123]

10 hours ago, Capricorn3 said:

Instead of trying to figure out your girlfriend, you should really figure out why on earth you are still with her.  THAT is the bigger issue.  Please go back and re-read all your threads about this girl and really absorb all your words and then ask the very relevant question of  WHY are YOU still with her?  What exactly do you get out of this dysfunctional and toxic relationship?  It says more about you, than her (imo).

THIS ^^^

[smackie9]

There is no therapy/cure/medication for this disorder. Keeping your distance is all you can do.

[Honeycomb8]

9 hours ago, boltnrun said:

I'm not trying to be facetious here, but what disorder do you think someone would have who chooses to be in a relationship with a woman like you described here?

...Just being a simp? Lol 

 

OP she clearly in every way possible is screaming that she doesn't give a sht about you and never have. Don't know why you're still staying. That unfortunately says way too much about who you are yourself. 

Guess what they say about men loving crazy women that treat them like crap is really true in this instance lol. 

[catfeeder]

13 hours ago, boltnrun said:

I'm not trying to be facetious here, but what disorder do you think someone would have who chooses to be in a relationship with a woman like you described here?

Exactly. I'd quit trying to diagnose anyone else as my distraction from the fact that nobody who is healthy themselves would tolerate this person in their life.

So why not put those research skills into action and find a therapist who can help you to figure out your own issues.

I'd start by walking away from the mistreatment as my first step toward my OWN mental health.

Head high, and trust that you will thank yourself later for making the right choice today.