Shivana18 Posted July 27, 2020 Share Posted July 27, 2020 Hi, I really do not know what should I do? I am currently in a relationship, this September will make it 3 years now. I told my parents about my boyfriend a few months ago. They did not have a good reaction. They told me I was too young to be in a serious relationship. Mind you I am 19 years old. I really like this guy and him makes me feel special. What should I do, should I listen to my parents and break up to believe I am too young for a serious relationship or should I be strong and stay with the love of my life? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted July 27, 2020 Share Posted July 27, 2020 If you have been dating 3 years why did you sudden just tell your parents now? Do you have plans to marry him?I told my parents about my boyfriend a few months ago.They told me I was too young to be in a serious relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melancholy123 Posted July 27, 2020 Share Posted July 27, 2020 So you have posted twice about this... So you are 19. You are not as smart as you think you are simply because you are 19, bur if you are legally an adult where you live then you can do as you please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j.man Posted July 27, 2020 Share Posted July 27, 2020 If there isn't a tangible consequence beyond your parents not being happy about it, then just exercise your adulthood and keep on trucking with your boyfriend. If it's a matter of losing financial support, you're gonna have to make a values based decision between him or the gravy train. You know your family better than any of us do and thus how much your relationship is worth relative to rocking the boat with them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lambert Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 Why does it have to be one or the other? Are you serious with your bf? 19 isn't too young to have a boyfriend. It is probably is too young to be married. But what do you parents expect to happen? when you are a little older? an arranged marriage? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capricorn3 Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 You've been dating him since you're 16. Maybe that's what caught them off guard. How old is your boyfriend? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cherylyn Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 As long as you live at home, it's your parents' rules. If you want to be with your boyfriend, then become financially independent, move out and make your own rules. Also, anytime you deceive anyone, trust is gone forever. Deception and withholding information is the same as lying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abitbroken Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 If I had a daughter or son and they were in a relationship for three years and they just told me now, I would be unhappy as well! If i met this person 3 years ago and saw you both were being mindful of school, having friendships beyond the relationships and are not turning down opportunities, i would have been supportive -- your parents felt lied to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinydance Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 Why did you not tell them about your boyfriend for three years? Why were you hiding it? If you were hiding it because of something your parents don't like, like he's older than you, from a bad background or something, that would explain why they're upset. What culture are you from? Here in Australia eighteen is a fully legal age. At 18 you can vote, have sex with anyone you want, go to bars and night clubs, buy cigarettes and alcohol and sign all your own documents, etc. So from a legal perspective you are an adult. You are not too young to be in a relationship, that is just their opinion. However if your family are religious or from a culture where you're supposed to obey your parents, then that makes more sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostandhurt Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 I agree this may have everything to do with his age. How old is he? Lost Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 Do your parents have you scheduled for an arranged marriage? I told my parents about my boyfriend a few months ago. They did not have a good reaction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betterwithout Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 3 years is a long time to keep a "secret" from your parents. I suspect that is primarily why they are upset. Secondly, some parents do have a hard time letting go of their children (flying away from the nest) and this is all too soon for them, especially that you hid it from them. They also very likely want you to stay focussed on your education and career. A "serious" boyfriend could mean to them that you are not going to stay focussed. I suggest a heart to heart conversation with your parents over tea and tell them how important this person is in your life, and then pay close attention to their response and their views on the subject. Maybe there is something else bothering them that hasn't been part of the conversation yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catfeeder Posted July 29, 2020 Share Posted July 29, 2020 You've spent 3 years doing what you want, so why should it matter now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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