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Listen to my parents or follow my heart.


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Hi, I really do not know what should I do? I am currently in a relationship, this September will make it 3 years now. I told my parents about my boyfriend a few months ago. They did not have a good reaction. They told me I was too young to be in a serious relationship. Mind you I am 19 years old. I really like this guy and him makes me feel special. What should I do, should I listen to my parents and break up to believe I am too young for a serious relationship or should I be strong and stay with the love of my life?

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If there isn't a tangible consequence beyond your parents not being happy about it, then just exercise your adulthood and keep on trucking with your boyfriend. If it's a matter of losing financial support, you're gonna have to make a values based decision between him or the gravy train. You know your family better than any of us do and thus how much your relationship is worth relative to rocking the boat with them.

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Why does it have to be one or the other?


Are you serious with your bf? 19 isn't too young to have a boyfriend. It is probably is too young to be married.


But what do you parents expect to happen? when you are a little older? an arranged marriage?

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As long as you live at home, it's your parents' rules.


If you want to be with your boyfriend, then become financially independent, move out and make your own rules.


Also, anytime you deceive anyone, trust is gone forever. Deception and withholding information is the same as lying.

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If I had a daughter or son and they were in a relationship for three years and they just told me now, I would be unhappy as well! If i met this person 3 years ago and saw you both were being mindful of school, having friendships beyond the relationships and are not turning down opportunities, i would have been supportive -- your parents felt lied to.

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Why did you not tell them about your boyfriend for three years? Why were you hiding it? If you were hiding it because of something your parents don't like, like he's older than you, from a bad background or something, that would explain why they're upset. What culture are you from?


Here in Australia eighteen is a fully legal age. At 18 you can vote, have sex with anyone you want, go to bars and night clubs, buy cigarettes and alcohol and sign all your own documents, etc. So from a legal perspective you are an adult. You are not too young to be in a relationship, that is just their opinion.


However if your family are religious or from a culture where you're supposed to obey your parents, then that makes more sense.

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3 years is a long time to keep a "secret" from your parents. I suspect that is primarily why they are upset. Secondly, some parents do have a hard time letting go of their children (flying away from the nest) and this is all too soon for them, especially that you hid it from them.

They also very likely want you to stay focussed on your education and career. A "serious" boyfriend could mean to them that you are not going to stay focussed.

I suggest a heart to heart conversation with your parents over tea and tell them how important this person is in your life, and then pay close attention to their response and their views on the subject.

Maybe there is something else bothering them that hasn't been part of the conversation yet.

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