Bobby987 Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 Quite simple really, my partner and I are 41, been together 3 years and live together with 4 children [between us] She's a nurse in palliative care, she's f*cking hardcore. She takes her rings off every day. I dont think she wants a big showy ring but then this doesnt happen every day. Looked online and spent about as much time looking for a ring as I would on Amazon buying socks. So tell me, do I go for a £500 ring or go all in for a really nice one? Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 You can get an amazing ring for £500 and less. Just find something that matches her style and likes. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 Are you getting married? Why not ask your gf what she has in mind? Looked online and spent about as much time looking for a ring as I would on Amazon buying socks. Link to comment
figureitout23 Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 Are you getting married? Why not ask your gf what she has in mind? Agree. We don’t know what she likes.... Link to comment
WithLove Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 Mine was $500 and it was designed for me! You can get great deals! Given her work, she would probably be into a ring that fits close to her skin, without large stones or pointy bits. Maybe you can search for options like that? Link to comment
DancingFool Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 You know....the most respectful and considerate thing you can do is ask the person who'll be wearing it, not opinions from a bunch of random strangers online who have no idea what she would like or want. In medical fields, quite often you can't wear rings at all for all kinds of reasons. That doesn't mean she wouldn't like a nice ring for when she can wear it. Ask her. Link to comment
SarahLancaster Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 I don't know that you can get a nice diamond ring for 500 (pounds or dollars). Is she the type of person who likes really good jewelry or would she be happy with something less exquisite? You might be able to get a good lab-created stone for that amount of money. Link to comment
Bobby987 Posted September 23, 2019 Author Share Posted September 23, 2019 Thanks guys, well with 4 kids we very rarely spend money on ourselves and I cant help but feel she wont like a lot of money spent on it. But then I think maybe deep down, just this time, would she want to be treated special. Its starting to drive me crazy. We've talked about marriage and as unromantic as it sounds its just a matter of getting married now. So I want to make a little effort, hence the Paris trip. So I guess Im asking, any of you early 40's women with kids, what would you like? would you be angry if I spent thousands on a ring, money isnt an issue at all but I cant help but feel shed just say we should have spent it on the kids or saved it. ggrrrr Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 Buy her socks. 🧦spent about as much time looking for a ring as I would on Amazon buying socks. Link to comment
j.man Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 Especially given you've got four children with her, whether that extra £1500+ would be better put into their needs / futures or into the household is definitely a judgment call well within your purview. I don't think you need permission from her to spend less. And you definitely don't need it from us. I dropped about $600 on the ring I got my now-wife. And I'll be honest, I probably wouldn't have spent near that much but for the fact it wasn't a secret she'd be the one making much more money in the marriage as the doctor and inevitably contributing disproportionately for nice things. It would have been kinda petty if I didn't take the opportunity when I could there. Luckily, she really wanted an opal, so that helped my wallet out quite a bit. If you wanna spend ~£500, I wouldn't even ask her if she'd rather you spend thousands. Not that I think there's anything wrong if a couple were to be happy spending more. It's just obvious that you're here looking for us to validate your preferred budget. I'd just find some rings that you think she'd like within your budget to start with and give her a say in the style. Build off that until you've found something she'd like to wear. £500 isn't going to get her something particularly luxurious, but there's plenty that are durable and pleasant within that price point. Link to comment
smackie9 Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 I remember those engagement ring commercials claiming you should spend 3 months salary because "she's worth it!" lol Link to comment
Camber 2019 Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 I remember those engagement ring commercials claiming you should spend 3 months salary because "she's worth it!" lol I like the Cigar band idea... Link to comment
mustlovedogs Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 Just my opinion, get her a nice shiny ring for use when she’s not working and an Enso ring (silicone band) for other time. Check out Tiger Gems. Lab created, beautiful, affordable. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 You know....the most respectful and considerate thing you can do is ask the person who'll be wearing it, not opinions from a bunch of random strangers online who have no idea what she would like or want. In medical fields, quite often you can't wear rings at all for all kinds of reasons. That doesn't mean she wouldn't like a nice ring for when she can wear it. Ask her. I agree. Damn! I would hope that you would place more interest in this, as it will mean something to her. Let her pick it out. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 Yes, ask her what she wants. I wanted one, he wanted me to have one, we went and looked at rings and I gave him my preference as to style and size (meaning I did not want a big rock at all and so I gave him the maximum that I'd be comfortable with). He then picked it out with that in mind. It's beautiful, I love it and yes it was important to me. It's so individual though -not everyone wants one or they want something else or they want both people to have rings or jewelry or socks or mugs, whatever. Ask her! Link to comment
boltnrun Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 Why are you opposed to asking her what she wants? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 Get off Amazon and take her to lunch/dinner and a jewelry store as a surprise. Shop for it together. Why make all this work, guessing and difficulty, when you can make it romantic but surprising her in the jewelry store? There is nothing worse than the whole kneeling surprise, open the box thing only for it to backfire.Looked online and spent about as much time looking for a ring as I would on Amazon buying socks. So tell me, do I go for a £500 ring or go all in for a really nice one? Link to comment
maew Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 What Wiseman said.... or share a Pinterest board where she posts all of the ideas she finds about the type of ring she wants. That will give you a much better idea of how much you will need to allocate. Link to comment
Rose Mosse Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 So I guess Im asking, any of you early 40's women with kids, what would you like? would you be angry if I spent thousands on a ring, money isnt an issue at all but I cant help but feel shed just say we should have spent it on the kids or saved it. ggrrrr Have you gone in person and looked at a number of stores though? When do you plan on proposing? I think you could be really stressing yourself out when the answers are all before you and waiting to be picked. The best way to go about confusion is to eliminate it using a direct source (knowing your partner and knowing the diamonds). Go directly to the stores and check out what's available and speak to the people who are knowledgeable about how those diamonds or gems are being procured, look at different cuts and learn to tell the difference between a good cut and not so good cuts of diamond or a lower grade. You may find things out of your budget that really aren't what they say they are or are not cut properly or as well as a simpler style or a lower key store that carries ethical diamonds (conflict free). Not all conflict free diamonds are cut and polished in the area/country it was mined either. The reason I'm mentioning this is because you may be feeling all that money is unjustified for bigger or more impressive looking pieces of jewellery. Really, what it boils down to is that you're not sure whether it's worth it and whether your to-be fiancee will like it. Look into all your options first, come to some informed idea of what your actual options are in relation to your budget and then ask her what style she likes based on what you've learned. Link to comment
tattoobunnie Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 Married eight years with two kids. I wished my hubs had gotten me a nice rock, or asked my mom or brothers about it. Can you ask your mom or hers to see if you can use something from them, and just get a new band and resized? Link to comment
Bobby987 Posted September 23, 2019 Author Share Posted September 23, 2019 Im not opposed to asking her, a few months ago we had a brief conversation and she exclaimed that she doesnt want anything big or fancy, she said she doesnt care because it will be from me and thats all she cares about. Whilst thats lovely its very little help. Since its not been mentioned I thought it would be nice to surprise her with the trip to Paris, and then the proposal. I know she loves the impulsive romantic gestures so I know she'll love the trip and one knee thing. Im not planning too much, because it could all go wrong, just gonna check into the hotel and go for a walk around Eiffel and Ill find the right spot/time. I didnt want to ask and tip her off but maybe thats just best. Thanks for the advice, might be a breakfast date near the jewellers soon then. Link to comment
maew Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 Im not opposed to asking her, a few months ago we had a brief conversation and she exclaimed that she doesnt want anything big or fancy, she said she doesnt care because it will be from me and thats all she cares about. Whilst thats lovely its very little help. Since its not been mentioned I thought it would be nice to surprise her with the trip to Paris, and then the proposal. I know she loves the impulsive romantic gestures so I know she'll love the trip and one knee thing. Im not planning too much, because it could all go wrong, just gonna check into the hotel and go for a walk around Eiffel and Ill find the right spot/time. I didnt want to ask and tip her off but maybe thats just best. Thanks for the advice, might be a breakfast date near the jewellers soon then. Well isn't this just the sweetest thing! I think you know her better than we do... if you genuinely think she will be okay with a surprise and that she will be happy with whatever you picked out then go for it! Link to comment
tattoobunnie Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 Im not opposed to asking her, a few months ago we had a brief conversation and she exclaimed that she doesnt want anything big or fancy, she said she doesnt care because it will be from me and thats all she cares about. Whilst thats lovely its very little help. Since its not been mentioned I thought it would be nice to surprise her with the trip to Paris, and then the proposal. I know she loves the impulsive romantic gestures so I know she'll love the trip and one knee thing. Im not planning too much, because it could all go wrong, just gonna check into the hotel and go for a walk around Eiffel and Ill find the right spot/time. I didnt want to ask and tip her off but maybe thats just best. Thanks for the advice, might be a breakfast date near the jewellers soon then. Ask her sister/mom/best friend what she'd like, and have them go with you. If she's a heavy sleeper, get a ring sizer, https://www.brilliantearth.com/ring_size/ or a slip of paper to and just get her size. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 Im not opposed to asking her, a few months ago we had a brief conversation and she exclaimed that she doesnt want anything big or fancy, she said she doesnt care because it will be from me and thats all she cares about. Whilst thats lovely its very little help. Since its not been mentioned I thought it would be nice to surprise her with the trip to Paris, and then the proposal. I know she loves the impulsive romantic gestures so I know she'll love the trip and one knee thing. Im not planning too much, because it could all go wrong, just gonna check into the hotel and go for a walk around Eiffel and Ill find the right spot/time. I didnt want to ask and tip her off but maybe thats just best. Thanks for the advice, might be a breakfast date near the jewellers soon then. Sounds like a great plan! Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 That's a great impulsive romantic gesture. might be a breakfast date near the jewellers soon then. Link to comment
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