SteelCity74 Posted July 30, 2017 Share Posted July 30, 2017 I have been dating a woman for two months now. She is just coming out of a very toxic relationship. I know she is fragile because of this, and sometimes I step on leftover landmines from her previous relationship. A few weeks ago she revealed to me that she didn't think she was good enough for me. Knowing that this was from people treating her badly in the past, I calmly reassured her that she was in fact perfect for me. I told her that she is everything I have been looking for in a mate and that I couldn't be happier with the way things are going. A few days later we were at a church function and a new member was joining us. She was a young, reasonably attractive blond woman. I guess she was jealous of the blond, not because of anything I did (I barely paid her any attention) but, because again she was feeling unworthy. But what she said to me was that she just didn't like her. Nothing of jealousy, she just didn't care for her. Fast forward to a few days ago and we were to attend the same church event. I made an off handed comment pertains to the blond woman. I said something to the effect "I wonder if your buddy is going to be here?". We laughed it off. Again, I did not know of the insecurity at this point. Well, it turns out she did show up and my girlfriend was not very happy about it. So, we go to sit down around the table to begin the group. It is an oval table with six chairs around it. My girlfriend ponts to a spot to the left of her and says to me "Why don't you sit here?". I looked and saw that there was no seat there and made my way to the right of her to take the empty chair next to her. In fairness to her, I normally sit to the left of her, but being as there was no chair there I took the one directly on the other side of her. And then, wouldn't you know it, the blond woman took the seat next to me at the table. We sat at the table for an hour and a half and I could tell something was wrong, but stupid me I thought it was just the fact that my girlfriend didn't like the blond woman. So I didn't think too much of it. When we get outside, I could tell something was really wrong. I knew my girlfriend was upset, but I honestly didn't know why. So I listened and then it finally clicked. She was jealous of the other woman. Keep in mind I didn't as much as glance in the woman's direction the entire time we were at the table. I didn't acknowledge her or say two words to her. But my proximity to her was enough to set my girlfriend off. Knowing what I know about my girlfriend's past, I apologized. I told her I should have known better and I tried to reassure her how I felt about her. We didn't see each other the next day. But I could sense she was still upset. So when we saw each other the next night I asked her if she wanted to talk about it. It was stupid on my part. But I am a talker. I like to make sure things are completely resolved before moving on. I do this so that things don't fester and become cancerous. Well, this reopened the wound for her. We got in a fight and she broke things off with me. I am devestated. I love this woman and was really seeing a long future with her. I know she is broken, and I am too. But normally we take really good care of each other emotionally. I don't know what to do now. The walls have gone up on her side and I can't get through. I don't want to lose her. How can I reassure her that she is all I want and that I am not looking for anyone else? Please help me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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