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Everything posted by shessofly

  1. Sure, you can be upset but you knew he didn't put a condom on, correct? What's done is done...now you wait to see if your period comes and then proceed from there. If you are going to be sexually active it's probably a good time to consider taking your BC regularly.
  2. Maybe you've got some learning to do as well? Sounds like a really unhealthy pattern and yet at 46 years of age you keep repeating it.
  3. Download a blocking app if you really want to move on. It can be done.
  4. Ah yes good point ...forgot about that!
  5. “Of course” he’s his son? You keep referring to him as your son and have denied him a relationship with him. I figured he was not biologically his. Sounds like he’s not going to be the man you want him to be. What’s to save here? You don’t need his permission to divorce. You walked out 7 years ago and are shocked that he’s been seeing someone else when other than begging you to come live with his parents he has made zero effort to get you back. And you haven’t seen him in almost 2 years? This isn’t a marriage or even the making of reconciliation. Was the man like this when you married him? is It your pride that keeps you hanging on?
  6. Is he the biological father of your son?
  7. Start by confronting her with the lies you know about. In my opinion it is too early to be talking about rebuilding trust. See how your conversation goes and figure out what you want from that point. Who knows what else she has been dishonest about; at this point I would question everything. Good luck!
  8. What did she say when you told her you wanted to restart the relationship?
  9. Just looked over your prior thread. Were you ever really together? I am sorry for your pain but the writing was on the wall months ago. If someone wants to see other people and you want to be monogamous they are not a good fit for you. I hope you will leave him be and work through the issues that led you to accept such an arrangement when it’s not what you really wanted. Look at this as an opportunity for a fresh start for yourself.
  10. Issues with him not wanting a monogamous relationship but you came to a compromise. What does that mean?
  11. Talk to your pastor or another trusted man about what you are struggling with and seek to change some of the ministries you are involved in if it’ll help increase distance between yourself and this woman. If she should ever come to you with her problems again stop her cold and suggest that she speak with another woman in the church or to the pastor’s wife. She should never have been allowed to make you her sounding board in the first place. When it comes to protecting your marriage the least of your concerns should be people wondering why you two aren’t communicating as much. If you want to protect your marriage you may have to take drastic measures. Prayer is great but action on your part is needed to avoid a full blown affair and destruction of your marriage.
  12. He slept with her regularly while you were broken up, & is now being sneaky about his communication with her. What about protecting your relationship and ending thst “friendship “ now that he’s crossed the line and knows it’s causing problems? I don’t know how this gets fixed. She’s been in his life longer and he wants to keep her around. He’s not too concerned about how it affects your relationship. Seems to me you have to decide what you can live with. You don’t have the same problem as before you broke up. It’s worse now because they now have very recent sexual connection. She’s not going anywhere.
  13. The point at which his romantic intentions were made known is the point at which your wife should have ended communication. She chose to keep communicating with him and hiding the content of their conversations. That is a problem IMO. She should have been the one to shut him down.
  14. So then it would seem you have your answer?
  15. So that's a no, meaning she is still able to contact you (because she hasn't been blocked) and you are still connected on social media?
  16. Maybe you should ask him what he’s use to. Or... leave it be because you’re probably over thinking it.
  17. You are only a few months out of a 6 year relationship so I think the ranting, even if not helpful, is a normal part of the process. Some go through it faster, some maybe never have those moments. Doesn't help that you are following her every move and thought on social media, and responding to her contact. So - my question for you today is have you cut her off yet?
  18. she is needy and needs long sentimental conversations So is this the point of meeting up then? To have a long sentimental conversation about her clarity? She's right - her request is selfish as this is for her own benefit. She needs to find a different outlet to process her emotions rather than using you as an emotional dumping ground. She's feeling the pain of the break up, doesn't want to get back together, but wants to use seeing/talking to you to feel better. It appears she's just playing out her "need" to talk everything to death. Funny how she dumps you for not being emotional enough but wants to come back after the fact to talk out her emotions. She also said her mum told her if she doesn’t meet me she will never know, I asked know what and she said “if we should meet”. If she doesn't meet you she will never know if you should meet?? What does that even mean? She needs more time to process what's going through her head and come up with a more coherent response. You say you aren't ready to be friends, she says she doesn't want to get back together; so I guess you have to figure out what the purpose of this is and what the benefit is to you. It almost sounds as if she's setting you up for a "let's be friends/stay in touch" while I sort myself out kind of thing.
  19. Move her out of your house or risk losing time with your children. "I have kids and she knows that I don't want it around them." Yet you moved her in and allowed it to go on until your ex wife caught wind of it?
  20. I hear ya but at some point you have to recognize that loving someone doesn’t mean they should be in your life. Gotta love yourself to care about how you let others treat you.
  21. You ignored a ton of red flags...you might want to consider why you let her use and abuse you for so long, and why you willingly went back for more. I don’t want you to become bitter or cynical but she was a piece of work. She will toy with you for as long as you allow it, because she’s all jacked up in the head.
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