IsaacT Posted April 13, 2017 Share Posted April 13, 2017 My ex's birthday is coming up and I'm conflicted about whether or not to wish her happy birthday. I don't want to reconcile, things didn't end very well and don't feel for her like I used to, but she still played a big role in my life and part of me wants to. I realize it's not a big deal at all but I've still been thinking about it a lot. To make a very long story short, she initiated a "temporary break" due to distance and not feeling treated well, but said she didn't want to see other people. A few days after that, she hooked up with someone else and lied for weeks about it. The lying and my "overreaction" to it created a lot of conflict and we split up after that--she said it was my fault. That was followed by about a month of no contact--then I deleted her online and got in touch, saying I hope she didn't find it immature. That resulted in a fight, as she found it "childish". I stuck by the decision and wished her all the best in the future. My birthday was a few days after that and I didn't hear from her. A week later, she got in touch, wanting to clear the air, and was very sweet, said she'd been looking up flights to see me and thought "things could still work." She also said it was really hard for her not to contact me on my birthday but thought I didn't want to hear from her. We talked for a few days and I eventually said the best thing for me would be to keep moving on. She said the "never actually wanted to get back together and just wanted to try talking" because I was a very negative part of her life. That resulted in another fight and we went back and forth pointing finders, I initially asked her to never contact me again, then apologized for being so harsh. Things then ended on decent terms and we told each other not to hesitate to get in touch if we ever needed anything. About a week later I was feeling down about some unrelated things I had been struggling with and called her. She said she was busy but could call back later. I made a mistake and fell asleep when she was supposed to call, and apologized profusely the next day. She wasn't happy about it at all, said it was inconsiderate and was very dismissive, saying not much more than "bye" and "thanks" to my apology. That was our last interaction and it was about two weeks ago. I think that NOT reaching out on her birthday could send the message of "so you can contact me when you're having a hard time and expect me to bend my plans to talk, but you can't even wish me happy birthday"? Then again, I'm not sure if she really wants to hear from me and she didn't wish me happy birthday. Any advice is appreciated. Link to comment
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