JJ's Diary of Dating

[John John]

Another girl gave me her number off of Bumble. I like it a bit more than Tinder. I think Tinder is kind of over.

 

The first girl that I called last night is busy today, but said she might text, so leaving her be. But I think I might call the new one tonight who gave me her number earlier today. I usually wait about a day, but I'm just gonna go for it lol.

 

And I think I'm going to temporarily deactivate Bumble...just 2-3 girls added to my phone at a time is enough to deal with! lol

 

And haven't heard back from the eHarmony girl I wrote to (who initiated contacted with me first). But she seems really sweet, based on what she wrote in her profile.

[WithLove]

The two guys I mentioned in my journal went nowhere and I deleted my OLD account. Not sure where to go from here, and it bums me out that literally every person I hang out with is out of town this weekend. I have no trouble to get into, John! So you're going to have to post some really juicy stories this weekend so I can live vicariously through you, okay?

[John John]

Trying to keep busy. Speed dating tonight (hoy boy...), a friend's bday party tomorrow night (at least I know that will be fun), and Sunday going to a single's cruise. I'm a bit uneasy at the cruise, as I know it's gonna be tough to compete with all the other guys there for the women and I'm not one to really go to these large events on my own. Speed dating is a bit less weird for me. But I'm trying to force myself to go. And I joined a social network in my area, so hopefully that will help. I really don't want to go to the cruise, but don't have plans for Sunday yet, so I guess if I don't get other plans, I'll just go.

 

In addition to dating, I've been trying to make new friends. But it's hard at a certain age. And I'm trying really hard to not be too needy (so I'll only text every so often and wait for them to come to me). But it sucks being lonely. All my friends have either moved away or married (usually both, and that's why they moved away), so I don't have the "crew" that I used to have. It's really hard to sometimes hide my pain, but I think I do it pretty well for the most part. I'm just tired of being so lonely...being single at my age sucks because everyone is in new marriages, having kids, so they are all understandably busy with that.

 

I just wish I could meet an attractive (to me) woman who is just like me who feels exactly the same (about me and our situation at our age).

[imsuperman]

I've never heard of a singles cruise before.

 

The way I look at it is: We're single, gainfully employed, childless men in the age of butthurt. We're not everyone's favorite people, but this probably isn't the worst thing that could happen

[John John]

I've never heard of a singles cruise before.

 

The way I look at it is: We're single, gainfully employed, childless men in the age of butthurt. We're not everyone's favorite people, but this probably isn't the worst thing that could happen

 

Hahaha - yeah that's true!

[faraday]

Trying to keep busy. Speed dating tonight (hoy boy...), a friend's bday party tomorrow night (at least I know that will be fun), and Sunday going to a single's cruise. I'm a bit uneasy at the cruise, as I know it's gonna be tough to compete with all the other guys there for the women and I'm not one to really go to these large events on my own. Speed dating is a bit less weird for me. But I'm trying to force myself to go. And I joined a social network in my area, so hopefully that will help. I really don't want to go to the cruise, but don't have plans for Sunday yet, so I guess if I don't get other plans, I'll just go.

 

In addition to dating, I've been trying to make new friends. But it's hard at a certain age. And I'm trying really hard to not be too needy (so I'll only text every so often and wait for them to come to me). But it sucks being lonely. All my friends have either moved away or married (usually both, and that's why they moved away), so I don't have the "crew" that I used to have. It's really hard to sometimes hide my pain, but I think I do it pretty well for the most part. I'm just tired of being so lonely...being single at my age sucks because everyone is in new marriages, having kids, so they are all understandably busy with that.

 

I just wish I could meet an attractive (to me) woman who is just like me who feels exactly the same (about me and our situation at our age).

 

Ive noticed that You wrote me a lot of messages....and I was like "holy carp" lol. Love you

 

I guess different people have different social needs...and mine used to be a lot higher/needier. What changed? I found my passion. Jay and Tine have been gone for 10 days...I have barely seen anyone. I don't text anyone...I talk to jay for 10 minutes at the end of each day...and that's pretty much it for my social interaction seeing as I work from home too.

 

Find something you love. That makes you happy beyond belief...and pursue the crap out of it. You won't be lonely, trust me on that. It creates more fulfilment than a partner ever could. Because let's face it, even if you meet a partner...they aren't going to be there all the time. They will go out a few evenings a week without you. They'll have trips with friends- they'll have hobbies...and you'll be alone.

 

Before our economy tanked, Jay was gone for 20/30 days a month. Out of cell range. I had to find things that made me happy so that I didn't blow up his phone and scare him away...

 

And maybe you need to find that too.

[John John]

Ive noticed that You wrote me a lot of messages....and I was like "holy carp" lol. Love you

 

I guess different people have different social needs...and mine used to be a lot higher/needier. What changed? I found my passion. Jay and Tine have been gone for 10 days...I have barely seen anyone. I don't text anyone...I talk to jay for 10 minutes at the end of each day...and that's pretty much it for my social interaction seeing as I work from home too.

 

Find something you love. That makes you happy beyond belief...and pursue the crap out of it. You won't be lonely, trust me on that. It creates more fulfilment than a partner ever could. Because let's face it, even if you meet a partner...they aren't going to be there all the time. They will go out a few evenings a week without you. They'll have trips with friends- they'll have hobbies...and you'll be alone.

 

Before our economy tanked, Jay was gone for 20/30 days a month. Out of cell range. I had to find things that made me happy so that I didn't blow up his phone and scare him away...

 

And maybe you need to find that too.

 

 

Well I was at work in front of my computer, so I had nothing else to do (and work has been slow this week)! lol

 

No you are right. I need to find something to pursue the crap out of. I mean, I already DO pursue things...but a real passion for something I feel I'm lacking right now.

 

I should qualify that I actually DO like time to myself. In the 5 years I was with my ex, I went out more without her than with her, because she (for whatever reason) didn't like my friends (no idea why). And I was mostly ok with that. And we each took trips, and it was fine. Neither of us were really needy in that sense.

 

I'm just overall kinda lonely now because I'm single and because everyone I know is pretty much relationship-ed up. So hanging out with friends is even very hard to schedule these days.

 

But you're right. I do need to find something I'm truly passionate about and can really pursue and gain a measure of happiness and fulfillment from. I have some ideas...but need to really explore this more.

[reinventmyself]

I have a friend, much like faraday shared. She just bought a home, a tiny mobile home to be exact. She has spent the past 6 months painting, gardening, making pillows, shopping at garage sales, refinishing furniture, making patio furniture out of pallets. I could on. It makes me dizzy. The girl is obsessed! (I say jokingly) But she is happy beyond belief, not to mention busy and fulfilled and she has a darling home to come to.

 

She is for the most part happy and content on her own and too busy to do anything but her current passion.

 

"oh sorry, I can't go to dinner, I have to finish the porch stairs this weekend'

 

I aspire to be more like her. I have home but I need to push myself to get started.

[Sportster2005]

Well I was at work in front of my computer, so I had nothing else to do (and work has been slow this week)! lol

 

No you are right. I need to find something to pursue the crap out of. I mean, I already DO pursue things...but a real passion for something I feel I'm lacking right now.

 

I should qualify that I actually DO like time to myself. In the 5 years I was with my ex, I went out more without her than with her, because she (for whatever reason) didn't like my friends (no idea why). And I was mostly ok with that. And we each took trips, and it was fine. Neither of us were really needy in that sense.

 

I'm just overall kinda lonely now because I'm single and because everyone I know is pretty much relationship-ed up. So hanging out with friends is even very hard to schedule these days.

 

But you're right. I do need to find something I'm truly passionate about and can really pursue and gain a measure of happiness and fulfillment from. I have some ideas...but need to really explore this more.

 

Have you tried running? Free endorphins. Any running clubs nearby? Women flock to running clubs in these parts. It has lead to many dates for me. Not just the women I run with, but some have set me up with friends. If you enjoy running give yourself a year goal to run a marathon. Some friends of mine have run the NY marathon, they love it. It will keep you busy and you WILL meet women.

 

There's also Latin/Ballroom dancing. More women then men do this activity. Women love men that can lead in dance. And it's good for co-ordination and balance, and just a lot of fun.

 

It's not all about them women. But women tend to be more attracted to busy, athletic social guys.

[WithLove]

They have obstacle events down here, one in particular I'm going to next year is the Mud Titan. It's an obstacle course in mud, lol.

[LightWave93]

Well I was at work in front of my computer, so I had nothing else to do (and work has been slow this week)! lol

 

No you are right. I need to find something to pursue the crap out of. I mean, I already DO pursue things...but a real passion for something I feel I'm lacking right now.

 

I should qualify that I actually DO like time to myself. In the 5 years I was with my ex, I went out more without her than with her, because she (for whatever reason) didn't like my friends (no idea why). And I was mostly ok with that. And we each took trips, and it was fine. Neither of us were really needy in that sense.

 

I'm just overall kinda lonely now because I'm single and because everyone I know is pretty much relationship-ed up. So hanging out with friends is even very hard to schedule these days.

 

But you're right. I do need to find something I'm truly passionate about and can really pursue and gain a measure of happiness and fulfillment from. I have some ideas...but need to really explore this more.

 

Try pursuing something creative, or an activity geared towards nature/the outdoors.

[imsuperman]

The master plan is LW, Sportster, and me go to NYC and we run around trying to pick up women with you.

[IAmFCA]

The master plan is LW, Sportster, and me go to NYC and we run around trying to pick up women with you.

 

I'll accidentally drop my winter glove in your paths...

[WithLove]

I pray for the ladies that end up in the path of that group!!

[WithLove]

The master plan is LW, Sportster, and me go to NYC and we run around trying to pick up women with you.

 

I can't think of a better reason to test you flight abilities and get out to NYC again!

[LightWave93]

The master plan is LW, Sportster, and me go to NYC and we run around trying to pick up women with you.

 

As long as you pay for my ticket over, I'll be the guy who tags along just to make you look a little better.

[Sportster2005]

The master plan is LW, Sportster, and me go to NYC and we run around trying to pick up women with you.

 

Got my toothbrush, I'm ready to go.

[imsuperman]

I'll accidentally drop my winter glove in your paths...

 

[video=youtube;6nSKkwzwdW4] ]

[IAmFCA]

[video=youtube;6nSKkwzwdW4] ]

 

Hahahahahahaha that is great clip!

 

It's New York so I'm packing the uniform. 6 pairs of black shoes. My fave black leather jacket.

[John John]

You guys are welcome to come visit me in NYC anytime! I feel like we'd have a blast and really "clean up" at these NYC bars

 

Speed dating was a waste of time. I feel like it's really hit or miss as to if you'll find anyone who goes to the same event attractive. I met some men that I truly felt sorry for, though. One was a 25 year old virgin (by his own admission - why he told me this after just meeting me, I don't know) who reminded me (in terms of "women skills") a bit of Dougie. Poor guy was in love with a girl who apparently once said to him "nice haircut" (which I tried to explain to him means nothing, since women say things like that all the time). One sat in the corner sweating profusely (it was a cool evening...) that I had to try and calm down and talk up before it started. And another was a blind man with a seeing eye dog who it sounded like had gone to many of these events. I felt really bad for these guys. And a tad out of place. But hey, I tried something new.

 

I'm slowly starting to come to terms with the fact that online dating is really a playground for women and tall men. I actually believe that 80% of the women online really do chase after the top 10% of men At least, it seems like it. Too bad these women don't realize that all they're going to do is get their hearts broken (these men have no reason to commit to them because they've been given all the power). Without delving too much into this type of conversation or the number ratings game too much (it's a dead conversation, and will just anger people...)...I feel like it's much harder for a man to find his "equal" (for lack of a better way to articulate this notion) than it is for women. Especially without that...one trait, that's virtually universally demanded. I'm just tired of wasting my time. I've challenged myself as to if I'm the problem...that maybe I need to lower my standards. But I usually swipe left on women that are "too pretty" for me. I don't think I'm at all entitled to a 10, nor do I want on. Would I like a woman that's a bit above average (fit/in shape, cute/pretty) to me? Yes. I've attracted them in the past. And I feel like we'd be an "even match" in most senses of the word. I try not to look for anything that I don't already bring to the table.

 

I just joined a NY social network that seems to be a good fit for me. It was actually started by a guy who felt similarly to the way I do. It seems to have a lot of cool events coming up. Going to the first one tonight (that's sort of an "orientation" for new members too like me), and already signed up for a singles party for this coming Saturday night. And Friday, I have a date from Bumble, but definitely not holding my breath for that (for so many reasons...)...

 

I used to really believe in online dating...and a very small part of me still does believe that I could get lucky and finally be able to delete all of these time-sinks. But overall...I feel like in cities such as where I live, it's almost too competitive and too scatterbrainish. Women initiate conversations with you, you follow up, and they fall off for whatever reason. Everyone thinks they have limitless opportunities, all they have to do is sign on to their profile to find someone that doesn't have a given flaw...people give up on people really fast around here.

 

All is know...if I ever find her...I'm gonna do my absolute best to never let her go. Dating nowadays sucks soooooo bad. I feel terrible for younger male cousins who are going to have to deal with this in a few more years.

[WithLove]

Reading your struggles.. A guy that quite literally has it all... Makes me so cynical about online dating. I think that's why I'm so reluctant to try it again. I was on it for like a week, nothing came from it, and now I'm just avoiding it. I just don't want to do it. I don't want to put in all that time and effort for a bunch of stuff that will probably not pan out. I'm just not interested in doing it. I don't like being judged so shallowly (is that a word? Lol) and OLD is one of the most judgmental experiences I've ever faced. I just, meh.

[John John]

Have you tried running? Free endorphins. Any running clubs nearby? Women flock to running clubs in these parts. It has lead to many dates for me. Not just the women I run with, but some have set me up with friends. If you enjoy running give yourself a year goal to run a marathon. Some friends of mine have run the NY marathon, they love it. It will keep you busy and you WILL meet women.

 

There's also Latin/Ballroom dancing. More women then men do this activity. Women love men that can lead in dance. And it's good for co-ordination and balance, and just a lot of fun.

 

It's not all about them women. But women tend to be more attracted to busy, athletic social guys.

 

Running isn't really a thing for me at the moment due to knee issues I've been having with my left knee. It'll get better I'm sure. But my cardio is done mostly on stairmasters at the moment (I do HIIT). And I lift a lot, so don't really need to do as much cardio to stay lean. Trust me, I know women like athletic men...I figure if I can't have that other near universally demanded trait, I will make my body as close to perfect in every other way as much as I can!

 

Actually...once I resolve my knee issues, I'm thinking of taking the required courses to become a certified personal trainer. Maybe do it on the side. Make some extra money, while also having a hobby, in a way. I love working out and finding new ways to challenge my body.

[John John]

Reading your struggles.. A guy that quite literally has it all... Makes me so cynical about online dating. I think that's why I'm so reluctant to try it again. I was on it for like a week, nothing came from it, and now I'm just avoiding it. I just don't want to do it. I don't want to put in all that time and effort for a bunch of stuff that will probably not pan out. I'm just not interested in doing it. I don't like being judged so shallowly (is that a word? Lol) and OLD is one of the most judgmental experiences I've ever faced. I just, meh.

 

That's very nice of you WL, and I sincerely thank you...but I definitely don't have it all! lol. Very few people out there really do. But online dating, which I respect has worked for so many people (including those who aren't 10s)...I believe is starting to really get competitive and scatterbrainish to the point where it's almost not worth it. Especially in cities like NYC, Chicago, DC and LA.

[Realitynut]

. I met some men that I truly felt sorry for, though. One was a 25 year old virgin (by his own admission - why he told me this after just meeting me, I don't know) who reminded me (in terms of "women skills") a bit of Dougie. Poor guy was in love with a girl who apparently once said to him "nice haircut" (which I tried to explain to him means nothing, since women say things like that all the time). One sat in the corner sweating profusely (it was a cool evening...) that I had to try and calm down and talk up before it started. And another was a blind man with a seeing eye dog who it sounded like had gone to many of these events..

 

Yep....a TON of great guys out there for us women. Boy...we have it made! You said you felt sorry for some of those guys....I feel sorry for the women also! The women went to this speed dating thing...and this was their options!

 

You didn't tell us anything about the women. Details please!

[John John]

Yep....a TON of great guys out there for us women. Boy...we have it made! You said you felt sorry for some of those guys....I feel sorry for the women also! The women went to this speed dating thing...and this was their options!

 

You didn't tell us anything about the women. Details please!

 

I meant that I felt bad for them because they were really awkward and obviously very inexperienced with women. And one guy was effin blind! LOL this is a not a male vs. female thing at all. I just felt bad for some of the guys I had spoken to.

 

The women? Well, I wasn't attracted to any of them. One came close, but eh. And three of them shouldn't have even been there, because (by their own admission) they were very recently (like a week) out of long-term relationships. I think they just wanted some attention. I doubt they're ready for anything serious. But aside from that, with the exception of one (who was a bit too forward and abrasive for my taste - she grabbed the upper part of my thigh as we were talking, several times)...they were all nice enough.

 

Don't think I will be going to another. At least if you go to a single's party/mixer, you can also socialize and make friends. If you show up to a speed dating event and aren't attracted to anyone there, it's mostly a waste of time. Although...I did get one guy's number who reminded me a bit of myself, and we're going to try and hang out.