localvet Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Ok, the point of this question is to help me understand myself. Am I freaking out and sabotage myself or does my fear mean she isn't right for me? So this gal I am seeing is a lot of fun. pretty face, caring, makes me laugh a lot. I have a lot of fun with her and time flies. So intimately, we have not had sex but I have seen her naked. Her legs and thighs are thicker, not juggley but thick. She walks doesn't work out. Her rear is not great, I saw it when she dressed. on her back, and side she looks great. So I can't stop worrying about how much this will bother me. I am now noticing the fit legs and rear on every girl I walk by now. I am not sure if I am driving myself nuts or what!? Pleas spare me the lecture on being shallow, it isnt productive. I am trying to read into myself and fix this crazy issue. Yes I know it is crazy. Link to comment
mhowe Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 You are not a match. You are searching for flaws. Next it will be her feet. Link to comment
WithLove Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Are you the same guy that posted about seeing someone that wasn't as fit as you and you thought it was an issue? Why are you dating women that aren't suited to your physical standards? Seems like a waste of time to me, to be honest. Link to comment
localvet Posted October 1, 2015 Author Share Posted October 1, 2015 Are you the same guy that posted about seeing someone that wasn't as fit as you and you thought it was an issue? Why are you dating women that aren't suited to your physical standards? Seems like a waste of time to me, to be honest. Yep. I don't understand why I am in this predicament. I wonder if I am being crazy. Link to comment
DoF Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Nice thick ass and you are complaining? Embrace it rather than worry about it. Personally, I'm not a fan of "fit girls" I like nice hourglass figure/meat. You know what they say, bones are for dogs, meat is for men! Look up 80/20 rule in relationship. You are simply focusing on a small BS and ignoring the 80% of positive/great things she gives you. Focus on that 80%. Yes, you are tricking/sabotaging yourself. In your life, especially as you mature, you will get ALL kinds of weird/crazy thoughts that come up into your head. What you do with those thoughts is what really matters. Currently you are allowing them to flourish. Put those thoughts to bed..... You will never EVER find a perfect ANYTHING in life, this applies to women as well. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 I think the only thing that would be productive for you is to see a therapist. Given your threads, strangers on the internet can't really give you the insight on yourself that you need. Link to comment
thejigsup Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 A body is transient, the soul and personality are more viable. Go with those. If you can't, go haunt the gym for girlfriends until you find the right girl. There's nothing wrong with liking a certain body type and having standards in that department, but it shouldn't override all other positive qualities. Link to comment
DoF Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 A body is transient, the soul and personality are more viable. Go with those. If you can't, go haunt the gym for girlfriends until you find the right girl. There's nothing wrong with liking a certain body type and having standards in that department, but it shouldn't override all other positive qualities. Agreed WHO she is, is 100x more important than what she looks like. Thing about attraction is that you are either attracted or not, clearly you are since you are with her........just focusing on her quirks. This is typical as a young men. Your penis is tricking you and making you focus on BS/petty things to justify going off and getting different arse. DO NOT listen to your penis Link to comment
TMifune Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Hey, check out this website: You should be able to find yourself a really nice ass there. Give it to her as gift maybe. This one looks nice for $300: ] In all seriousness, maybe back off the dating a little and think about what you really want / need. It does sound like you're picking nits, possibly self-sabotaging because if you reject them first, you don't have to risk the pain of them rejecting you. Link to comment
WithLove Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Yep. I don't understand why I am in this predicament. I wonder if I am being crazy. I think you have impossibly high standards. You're picking out the flaws of each woman you see and concentrating on those enough that the good traits fade away. I mean, if you like to sabotage yourself, then keep going by all means. But you're gonna have to learn that 67% of the American population is classified as plus-sized. So now that you already have a limited dating pool of women to choose from... Link to comment
localvet Posted October 1, 2015 Author Share Posted October 1, 2015 Hey, check out this website: You should be able to find yourself a really nice ass there. Give it to her as gift maybe. This one looks nice for $300: ] In all seriousness, maybe back off the dating a little and think about what you really want / need. It does sound like you're picking nits, possibly self-sabotaging because if you reject them first, you don't have to risk the pain of them rejecting you. HA HA HA! I dig that ass! Link to comment
SooSad33 Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Really? *would you prefer Barbie?* Wow... hold on.. now I hafta go take a look at my Butt, thighs, legs, hips.. etc. No offence, BUTT, what's going to happen when your 'future partner' ends up having a kid.. or 4? You going to toss her to the curb because she's not so fit, has gained a bit of weight and her butt looks different? Seriously... (Yes, you know it is Crazy). Did you ever think that 'maybe', you have some 'odd' issue's going on? Think it might be worth checking out with a prof.? K, done ranting. Link to comment
BigKK Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Are you a catch localvet and feel superior or are you just a guy with unrealistic standards. I'm not saying this to give you an excuse, but sure I "get it" if you're man's gift to women, in incredible shape and have that celebrity look. If that's the case, then women are throwing themselves at your feet and you can be as picky and shallow as you want because you have your pick of the flock. If that's not how you describe yourself then I'd say comeback to Earth. People usually go for individuals that are in their similar "attraction" area...key word usually. Also I am not saying that this is right nor how things should be. But there has been a number of studies that proves this...at least for short term dating and attractiveness. If it's so soon and you're already like meh, about things about her. I think you should keep looking...but I'd figure out if it's YOU being unrealistic, and you'll never settle. Or if maybe you're just not that into her. I've been with girls of all shapes and sizes, and found that we all have flaws but you can overlook flaws if the person has a delicious and delightful personality. Mind you everything I've stated is about initial attraction and doesn't necessarily mean squat with long term relationship success. Minus the part that you should find your partner attractive. Link to comment
LoveSoDeep Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Yes...you are just picking flaws in every woman you try to date....and at this point I'd say yes, something is wrong with you. You are sabotaging every possible relationship. Lots of people do this when they are afraid to commit, or often when they have abandonment issues ( they can't bear to think of someone abandoning them so they have to abandon ship themselves). Ms. Darcy is right you need more help then we can give you. If you don't know why you're sabotaging your relationships then this is a really deep seeded issue and you need help figuring it out. Link to comment
morrowrd Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Ok imagine this, you're with a hot girl with a hot ass, and she's mean, puts you down alot, doesn't want you around when her friends are. Oh, but she's hot.... One thing you learn in life, "all that glitters is not gold" Link to comment
localvet Posted October 1, 2015 Author Share Posted October 1, 2015 It is interesting here that males are giving me solid advice and not sliding in insults, but woman are all over me, mostly. They always do this when weight is mentioned. In previous threads it has helped bring me back down to reality, and it helps now to. Thanks! Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 It is interesting here that males are giving me solid advice and not sliding in insults, but woman are all over me, mostly. They always do this when weight is mentioned. In previous threads it has helped bring me back down to reality, and it helps now to. Thanks! So your surprised men don't have a reaction to this but women do? If women came here and complained about penis size I think the reactions would be interesting as well Link to comment
LoveSoDeep Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 It is interesting here that males are giving me solid advice and not sliding in insults, but woman are all over me, mostly. They always do this when weight is mentioned. In previous threads it has helped bring me back down to reality, and it helps now to. Thanks! Um...none of the women here insulted you. We said it's possible you have standards that are very high....maybe too high, that you need to realize that looks do change and fade and that your current way of thinking may be tied to other deeper issues. How is any of that insulting? The fact that you think we're not giving you good advice (when some of it was identical to the advice that came form the men) makes me believe even more strongly that this is a much deeper issue. Link to comment
localvet Posted October 1, 2015 Author Share Posted October 1, 2015 So your surprised men don't have a reaction to this but women do? If women came here and complained about penis size I think the reactions would be interesting as well I don't think so. I mean first off the man would have to admit he has a small one... Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 You missed my point Link to comment
localvet Posted October 1, 2015 Author Share Posted October 1, 2015 You missed my point No. I just want to keep it light. Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 So your surprised men don't have a reaction to this but women do? If women came here and complained about penis size I think the reactions would be interesting as well Nope. The double standard is, that it's entirely natural for a woman to fuss over height without any fuss being made. But when a man mentions weight/fitness a lot of women lose their crap. OP, I like fit women with nice butts. There's enough out there that check most, if not all of my boxes. It's not always a deal breaker. You're not crazy and you don't need to, nor should you give a flying **** leap about what other people think of your preferences. Link to comment
musicman777 Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 I have read some of the comments here. Personally OP, I think you are being FAR too picky. Do you ever, I don't know, think about how these women are as a PERSON as all? Look, 9/10 people out there today don't look like Olympic athletes and movie stars. Everyone has some physical defect that is unattractive. Now personally, I see how maybe you don't want to date someone morbidly obese. I do have limits myself. I don't mind curves but if it starts getting overly pudgy and fat melting off the sides of their clothes than I have a problem. I never expect people to be perfect. I think you should start trying to actually get to know some of these women rather than worrying about what they look like naked. You're too focused on physical appearance and honestly it's coming off as really disrespectful towards the women you are dating. How would you like it if you dated a hot girl and she ripped apart your physical features? Too much hair somewhere, too fat or too skinny, maybe she doesn't like YOUR ass! How would you feel if that person was making comments about YOU on an online forum? Because there are definitely women like that, that are superficial and will rip apart every physical feature of a man down to his spinal structure. And it sounds like you have the same attitude towards women, and you need to knock it off. Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 I WILL tell you that you are shallow because you ARE! Maybe you should buy that ass/donkey in the photo above. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Yeah, you aren't into her. Though I don't think you will ever really be into anyone so long as you think it's ok to tear down/apart someone's features like this. It's not ok. You may not like her ass, but I'm sure there are others out there who would appreciate it. I'm a woman and can access rather well from looking what a man is going to look like basically naked. So I bet you are even sharper at this skill than me, since you are so particular. So I'm not buying that you were super surprised when the clothes came off. I think you go out of your way to choose people you know you are going to nitpick and don't fit your preferences, just so you can. ANd that is really not nice. Date people who fit your preferences. Problem solved. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.