Why can't girls ignore my height, looks & appearance and just give me a chance?

[iwishiknew]

I'm 37 yrs old and I never had a date or a gf yet. I always ask myself and wonder, why can't girls just ignore my height, looks and appearance and just go out with me and give me a chance? Why does it have to be so difficult? Ok, so I'm 5'2, 115lbs but who cares! I'm active, I love the out doors and being outside and active. I bike, rollerblade, workout, and I run a few miles a day and I'm not lazy at all. I was born with a bone disorder but who cares! What is the big deal? No one is perfect. I wish girls would just ignore my height, appearance, and looks and just go out with me and give me a chance to see that I'm a great active fun loving guy to be with.

[Moontiger]

I'm 37 yrs old and I never had a date or a gf yet. I always ask myself and wonder, why can't girls just ignore my height, looks and appearance and just go out with me and give me a chance? Why does it have to be so difficult? Ok, so I'm 5'2, 115lbs but who cares! I'm active, I love the out doors and being outside and active. I bike, rollerblade, workout, and I run a few miles a day and I'm not lazy at all. I was born with a bone disorder but who cares! What is the big deal? No one is perfect. I wish girls would just ignore my height, appearance, and looks and just go out with me and give me a chance to see that I'm a great active fun loving guy to be with.

 

Plenty of short men find relationships. I think this is more about how you are projecting yourself then anything else.

[iwishiknew]

I'm confident, I make eye contact, I smile when I talk, I dress up nicely. I shower and I don't smell.

[Pixels]

Tough call... Being shorter definitely cuts you out of some peoples' consideration, but some short men are still considered extremely attractive. There's definitely been shorter men than you who've been successful, and I'd bet a kidney that there's uglier out there, too.

 

You can only do so much to change your physical appearance, so IMO the best mindset is to just grow and embrace it. Even if it's a small minority, there's probably someone out there who likes your appearance, so don't look at it as something you need to compensate for. Not gonna lie though, other guys out there will have it easier. Doesn't mean you don't have a chance though.

 

If you really crunch the numbers and work the statistics, you're probably within 100 yards of at least a dozen or more people who find you attractive every day (I'm assuming you're well below 'average').

 

Lead a rich and fulfilling life, and you'll be in the best position to attract positive people.

 

Keep good people around you, do what keeps you happy, and try to take it in stride. It only takes a few hours for things to change drastically, and you rarely see it coming, so don't let the struggle cripple you. Sometimes you only find what you need once you stop searching.

[Moontiger]

I'm confident, I make eye contact, I talk with a smile, I dress up nicely. I shower and I don't smell.

 

I can't tell you what specfically to do since I have not seen your interactions with women. My advice is to talk to people you trust for some honest feedback.

[John John]

Plenty of short men find relationships. I think this is more about how you are projecting yourself then anything else.

 

Moontiger, I know you mean well, and I think how men project themselves (aka "confidence") is very important. But let's be honest here. OP is 5'2"...he is shorter than the average American woman by 2-3 inches. To most women, let's face it, that would be a deal breaker. Under 5'6/5'7" guys have it very rough. It is a well-known fact that women as a whole do not prefer shorter men, but below a certain level, and it starts to get really hard. Funny how men are told to "man up" and of course "BE CONFIDENT!" without acknowledging some of the very real problems that they might face despite any level of confidence.

 

However, like Moontiger also said, plenty of short men do find love! OP, you say you want girls to ignore your height and looks. It seems like you do have things going for you, you're active, have hobbies, seem like a nice guy (who would probably otherwise do really well if not for the height). Have you done all you can to maximize your appearance as far as your face (hair, teeth, skin, etc.)?

 

I would recommend staying away from online dating. Women are much more harsh with height requirements online. I would recommend you try meeting women face to face. You might try meet ups, join clubs where you can find women who share your interests, even ask friends to set you up. Or, possibly even try a match making service where they can maybe find you a woman who doesn't care about looks?

 

How is your career/professional success?

 

OP, I won't lie to you, 5'2" will be rough, but this does not mean that you cannot find you love. You can. You will just have to work harder than the average guy. But it IS possible, and I believe that you CAN do it

[jennylove]

You'll find her.

[melancholy123]

I am 5'6" and I had two boyfriends who were about 5'2" and none of us ever cared about height. Height does not make a person. I dont know how you get over this, maybe some counselling might help, but honestly it does not matter to someone who is normal and sensible and sees a person for who they are, not what they look like. You must be looking in all the wrong places if you keep finding such duds who make you feel bad.

[abitbroken]

How does your bone disorder affect you? Does it just mean you are shorter? Does it take years off your life? I have a hidden disability and I used to be all about letting people know what it is after meeting them. It was a defense mechanism for sure. Then I stopped mentioning it unless it was really, really necessary and it came up. My boyfriend didn't know until we were dating a few months, actually. Its nothing that shortens my life. Can people tell you have a bone disorder and you need to tell people (like you stand really, really crooked)? Or is there nothing different about your looks than being shorter? If you are just shorter, then don't even mention it. If you get to know a woman pretty well and it comes up, then state it.

 

If you have a really super personality you will eventually find somebody. You just can't meet women at a bar. You will have to join meetup groups and get to know and see more people on a regular basis. A guy I worked with is 5'2" and his wife is beautiful and tall. They met over their odd mutual interest. There are guys I know who are involved with horses, and lots of them are short - former jockeys, etc, = and they are married or have girlfriends.

 

You mention you are into the outdoors - but are all these solo activities? Do you ever do group activities? have you gotten involved with running groups, biking groups, etc, to extend your network and your chances of meeting? All of my cousins who have joined groups eventually met someone that way. And because the person got to know them in a non pressure, non bar environment, whatever thing that would have been a snap judgement in a singles night setting grew on them or they saw past (big difference in height between the two, difference in education, etc.)

[Ms Darcy]

I can't tell you what specfically to do since I have not seen your interactions with women. My advice is to talk to people you trust for some honest feedback.

 

I agree. We are shooting blind with guesses.

 

But I'll just be honest and say the women you are interested in are probably not physically attracted to you. You can't just overlook lack of attraction. So perhaps more guidance with a friend would help.

[arjumand]

This is all about your self conscious, likely slightly obnoxious behavior. PLENTY of short men get women -- for heaven's sake Mickey Rooney was 5'2" and got married eight times, including to some pretty stunning women such as Ava Gardner and Martha Vickers. Alan Ladd, Seth Green and Peter Dinklage all got married and to interesting, smart women taller than they. Maybe you should stop worrying about your height and start developing a nice personality and some confidence.

[notalady]

I think this video will help you gain perspective.

 

Nick Vujicic, born without limbs (and most certainly shorter than 5"2), excellent motivational speaker and speaks in schools a lot. You will find many of his speeches but here is a shorter one:

 

 

 

He is married to a very beautiful woman and expecting their second child:

 

 

 

Tell me you have it harder than this guy. And tell me you're not inspired by him.

 

Lack of height and appearances do not make life easier but it's not as big of an issue as you think.

[pippy longstocking]

MJ that was a lovely honest post and I think you do this forum the world of good the way you help others with honest and wise advice . You know what the real deal is for fella's out there in this world and that shines through .

[John John]

MJ that was a lovely honest post and I think you do this forum the world of good the way you help others with honest and wise advice . You know what the real deal is for fella's out there in this world and that shines through .

 

That means a lot to me shooting/pippy...love ya.

 

I just try to keep it real. I had to learn a lot of what I know the hard way (through experience and fumbles!). I wish others were as honest with me when I was growing up, especially when it comes to matters of ladies and love!

 

OP, back on topic. If it makes you feel any better, I woke up to two winks from girls on link removed who were both like 5'5" and listed that they wanted men 5'2" and above! So there definitely ARE women out there who would be ok with 5'2"! Why don't you join link removed and use the reverse search option to find women that are ok with men your size, and then work from there?

 

You have got to be kidding, this is all about your self conscious, likely slightly obnoxious behavior. PLENTY of short men get women -- for heaven's sake Mickey Rooney was 5'2" and got married eight times, including to some pretty stunning women such as Ava Gardner and Martha Vickers. Alan Ladd, Seth Green and Peter Dinklage all got married and to interesting, smart women taller than they. Maybe you should stop worrying about your height and start developing a nice personality and some confidence. I have met your sort, and you are so hung up on the height thing that you are completely unpleasant.

 

Yes, these men were able to be successful and make it in show business despite their height, I'll give you that. But seriously, don't blame OP for being "hung up on his height." A man of his height surely will have a much more difficult life, and I've said many times...a man's height is the one thing that that seems fair game to make fun of. We can't say anything about a woman's weight or age, a person's race or sexual orientation, but it always seems ok to make fun of a man for his height. And women tend to be very vocal about their demands for taller men. On Match, you'll often see 5'8/5'10/the magical 6ft as cutoffs. Just another example of how men are always expected to "be confident," smiling happy and pleasant despite putting up with a ton of sh*t for something he has no control over. He's just expected to laugh it off, right? I mean, please...

 

Do you think some of these celebs would do well with women if not for their fame/wealth? Yes...they were able to get that fame and wealth despite their height...but do you think the Mickey Rooney lookalike working in the local Pizza Hut is getting lots of attention from women? There are always exceptions to the rule, but I'd wager not. You constantly hear people make fun of Tom Cruise's height, and he's good looking and 5'7" (which isn't even that short)...imagine being 5'2"!

[Patrick974]

Nothing is impossible in the dating pool. There are still lot of women even young under your height (humanity is getting taller its a fact, I find myself short compared to some teens nowadays) and the way you described yourself you have nothing of a freak. Good luck.

 

Once or twice per week I see a barely 15 yo girl taller than me and I am 6'. Always baffled.

[John John]

Nothing is impossible in the dating pool. There are still lot of women even young under your height (humanity is getting taller its a fact, I find myself short compared to some teens nowadays) and the way you described yourself you have nothing of a freak. Good luck.

 

Once or twice per week I see a barely 15 yo girl taller than me and I am 6'. Always baffled.

 

Remind me to slap you silly if we ever meet up in NYC...you are NEVER gonna be considered short! LOL I am a bit over 5'8" you practically tower over me 8)

 

And you're right. As Yoda would say, impossible is nothing. Even if OP will have to work quite a bit harder, it isn't impossible, and I hope he knows that.

[Patrick974]

Speaking of tower I need to go take a look at One WTC. And I will happily overlook you.

[John John]

Speaking of tower I need to go take a look at One WTC. And I will happily overlook you.

 

lol! I have another friend named Patrick, and the dude is legit like 6'5". When him and I used to hit the bars together, it was hilarious. He's actually REALLY shy (still is), and is lucky that women lust over his height, or else he'd never get any. Every time him and I went out and both got girls...I got the taller ones, and he got the tiny ones. Would always make us chuckle the next day

[j.man]

You have got to be kidding, this is all about your self conscious, likely slightly obnoxious behavior. PLENTY of short men get women -- for heaven's sake Mickey Rooney was 5'2" and got married eight times, including to some pretty stunning women such as Ava Gardner and Martha Vickers. Alan Ladd, Seth Green and Peter Dinklage all got married and to interesting, smart women taller than they. Maybe you should stop worrying about your height and start developing a nice personality and some confidence. I have met your sort, and you are so hung up on the height thing that you are completely unpleasant.

I gotta say that this the first time I've seen anyone use the example of Hollywood stars to say "If they can do it, you can too!" What a fresh twist!

[Patrick974]

I got the taller ones, and he got the tiny ones. Would always make us chuckle the next day

 

The opposites attract each other. I like my women shorter and dark skinned.

[John John]

I gotta say that this the first time I've seen anyone used the example of Hollywood stars to say "If they can do it, you can too!" It's a fresh twist... if nothing else.

 

lol yeah...because millionaire/billionaire celebs = real life. I mean, hadn't you heard, j.man?

[agent1607307371]

What do they say, exactly, when you ask them out? How do you approach women? It is women you've just seen, or women you've known a little while?

[Tinydance]

Are you absolutely sure your height is the only issue here? What about shyness and lack of self-confidence? I've seen guys who are obese, don't have a leg, are in a wheelchair, have a tumour on their face, you name it, get women. I don't mean to make you feel even worse but could it be that you've actually jeopardised your chances with women because you've judged YOURSELF too harshly?

[Ms Darcy]

Tell me you have it harder than this guy. And tell me you're not inspired by him.

 

Lack of height and appearances do not make life easier but it's not as big of an issue as you think.

 

I don't know but I find this really frustrating and insulting. I'm not even a short guy!

 

But this goes back to what MCJD talks about people not being honest. And further, people will post this sort of stuff with the attempt of being nice but it's actually really dismissive.

 

Dating life IS harder for him than notalady or other women who get dozens of messages on online dating or me (not dating anymore) or the ever so Tom Cruise-ish MCJD. Because we get dates. And believe me, if you weren't you would be exasperated too.

 

Telling guys who are aware that women are not biting on their attempts that their life isn't as hard as someone else's is a little insulting. Of course it's different. And while Nick Vujicic's story is wonderful and very inspirational, I DO know men and women who have gone into their 40s, 50s as bachelors because of some disadvantages in their appearance despite all efforts.

 

This poor poster has been posting this same frustration for years. I think instead of dismissing his concerns or, lol, saying if a Hollywood star can find hot women he can too, perhaps we can just be honest.

 

Honestly, it has hurt him and it's going to continue to hurt him. He can be charming and confident, and women still might not line up at his door. The best thing I can say is to find someone who knows him in real life to offer him advice to meet women in real life with similar interests.

 

End rant.

[John John]

Awesome and honest rant, Mrs. Darcy

 

I feel horrible for OP. I wish I knew (no pun intended!) this guy personally so I could help him out. 5'2" is very rough, yes, but it's not impossible. He CAN find love, I know he can. He just has to work harder and get in front of as many women as possible, as tiring as it may be.

 

It just rubs me the wrong way sometimes how unfair life can be...sheesh...