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jennylove

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Everything posted by jennylove

  1. He is, but the inspector won’t know about the flooding unless it rains the day of inspection. And the garage door stops working once the weather is below 32. Last year, the door stopped during mid opening, and they couldn’t get their car out. They were able to push the door up, but then they couldn’t get it to close so it stayed open all winter. Same thing the year before. The inspector will hopefully discover that the dishwasher leaks bigtime, also not revealed, and that a couple fans don’t work. But those bigger things? Probably not.
  2. I am very thankful for everyone who replied, thank you for taking the time! Little update: since posting this, I dug deep, and I decided I still need to move, but maybe I’ll wait until this spring. And then I got triggered again, and I decided I need to leave sooner rather than later. The trigger this time was my mom and sister texted me that my sister finally got an offer on her house, and the guy buying it is someone I’ve known since childhood. This guy had had a very rough life, but he always remains positive and pushes thru. He doesn’t make much money, but he is good with saving and this is his first home. So why did I get upset? I asked if she was honest about the things wrong with the house, such as, a flooding basement, or the garage door that doesn’t open or close during the winter? Nope, she wasn’t. I feel awful for the guy. I threw up my hands when I learned about this and said to myself “done”.
  3. Seraphim, I’m soooo sorry for your loss!! One of my coworkers lost his dad recently, and he hadn’t been of good terms with his dad in several years. He did get to say his goodbye just before his dad passed which gave him some relief, but yeah, he had a very hard time with his passing. My mom and I once talked about how much I’ll be grieving when she passes, and she actually said she thinks it’ll be easier on me if I am not living in the area, because it’ll likely be harder for me to move in due to all the memories of places that my mom frequented will be in my face all the time. Plus, I do t have much of a support system in my current town. I love my mom dearly and I hate to move away especially as she enters her 70’s, but I’m so fed up with her blabbing mouth, my sister infiltrating my oasis (home) and spreading malicious lies and just the general area. I forgot to mention my nephew, my only nephew. I don’t care that he’s 14, glued to his phone, but never responds to me or my parents calls or texts, that’s his prerogative. But what happened a few weeks ago is mind boggling to me. I offered to take him school shopping for clothes and supplies , and I had a budget of 500.00, but I exceeded that budget by another 100 because he begged and pleaded for more shirts. Out of love, I overspent. A few days later, I found out that the “extras” that he wanted soooo bad was actually a scheme, he wanted them for his father. His father likely put him up to it, but talk about scandal! Again, that’s how much my efforts are appreciated in this “family.”
  4. Huh? Where did I say or insinuate that I am not a believer? Pretty sure I posted about wanting to go, enjoying it, and receiving a healing myself. My beliefs belong to me and I dont like being a laughingstock for my beliefs because of my sister fabricating everything. It’s private. I’m not wrong for expecting my mom to remain quiet about it since I’m the one who takes her and that is my only request. She can tell anyone she wants about her experience, but leave me out of the story. That’s all.
  5. And another thing that I could use advice about while I’m at it here... I do a lot of nice things for my mom that she knows should only be between us because my sister will blab about it to my dad and stepmom. The thing about that is, they get their feelings hurt too that I do these things for my mom and not much for them. One thing that my mom and enjoy doing together are religious things. My mom is a strong Catholic and she LOVES going to “healing services” by healing priests when available. There are times when I’ve driven hundreds of miles to see one, and I actually did receive a physical healing that was somewhat miraculous. But I wanted it to remain private, not too many people in this town believe in these types of things, and my own family thinks it’s all very scary and weird to go to these events, including my sister. So why would my mom tell her about our trips and my healing knowing she’s against it and will spread rumors and gossip about us going in a bad manner? It’s private! My mom wants to see a very well-known healing priest who will be within 200 miles from us soon, and since she doesn’t drive long distance (or fly) she wants us to go together. I want to go, I want mom to go, but I’m not taking her because she’ll blag about it to my sister, who knocks it and thinks it’s “crazy”. I mean, damned if I do, damned if I don’t.
  6. Wiseman, Yes, the location and the “Karen’s” have 59 percent to do with my desire to move. I’ve been talking about it for 2 years. One thing that keeps me here is it’s extremely cheap to live here and I make a good income. My place is paid off. Unfortunately it’s against HOA to rent or homeshare so my only option is to move. I will end up moving to an area with higher cost of living for the same pay. But eventually I can hopefully advance.
  7. I’m told a lot of private things by people, I’ve known since I was 5 not to share information that someone trusted me with. When I’m asked about anyone or their life, my reply has always been, “If (XYZ) wants you to know, I can promise they will call you and tell you”. Boom. Done. It’s not that my mom “forgets”. No. She doesn’t feel comfortable “lying”. I’ve told her a million times she doesn’t need to lie, she simply needs to say it’s not her place to reveal my information per my request. But no, she can’t do that. Even with nosy neighbors. My sister is the type to make anonymous phone calls or emails to someone’s place of s employment if she gets mad at you, she’ll then try to “whistle blow” on you with exaggerated or false information. She’s done it to me, she’s done it to others. I lent my mom money to buy the place next to mine. She wanted a place without stairs and this condo was in her price range. I told her this is my home too. I’m also paying high HOA and I want to enjoy the amenities without my sister infiltrating the place. That I will tell her I’m the rare occasions that I’ll use the pool, and on those days, I do not want my sister and her family using the pool. Ok. Nope, I can’t even get that. As I laid out one day, her comes my sisters crew. My mom stood there with her hands up and told me they showed up unannounced and she didn’t have it in her to tell them no. My mom has told me lots of secrets and begged me not to tell my sister. Why? Because she knows she’ll gossip to my dad and stepmom and my mom’s sister whom mom doesn’t speak to. I’m loyal to my mom. It’s not unreasonable to expect the same. Jealous of my sister? If you only knew how much I wish her well deep in my heart. I believe she’s extremely damaged by her husband, she’s become a shell of a person since marrying him. He hates women, especially fat, successful women like me. She’s become a stepford wife and her jealousy is palpable.
  8. Thank you everyone!! I will not move just because of this, I’ve got too much to take care such as selling furniture and my place, no room for rash decisions. This plays a huge role, but the other factor is the career development here is nit good. And the people are basically “Karen’s”. I prefer a more liberal and cultured environment. I stick out like a sore thumb here. I am trying to check myself and make sure that I’m not playing referee with my mom. There are times that I do, yes. But I do check myself, I realize it’s part of codependency. But I do ha e the right to confide in my own mom and expect privacy. I am called “the vault” amongst people because once o am told something is private, I will not tell a soul. Mom has also told me some very private things and she’d be devastated if I told anyone. I’m sad that I can’t trust her. My friends...well...they have moved away. Most moved to Florida. I’m not interested in Florida . My heart belongs on the East Coast, I have a few friends out there, I predict stronger friendships will blossom after moving.
  9. It’s my last straw. One of the things holding me back is the fact that I need to sell my place, and I’m going to end up selling some furniture which will be a huge loss for me financially. If not for the condo and furniture, I’d be on my way.
  10. My mom and I are very close, but the roles have always felt reversed, which has totally drained me. I guess you can say we are codependent. Even when I was a kid, I felt it was my duty to look after her. My sister is 4 years older. I know the term “Narcissists” gets used a lot these days. But let me tell you, she truly truly is. I’ve studied Narcissists for years and she is IT to the text. I’d love to tell you about all the drama she and her family have caused in our family, but I’ll spare the details. She’s toxic, SNEAKY and full of JEALOUSY. I’ll leave it at that. Everyone in my family has had a piece of my sister, and when she serves you, it leaves you in a state that can’t be described other than numb. After a few times, I’ve grown very cold to her. I am civil, but I do not trust her and I e made it very clear to my mom that I do not want her knowing anything about my life because she twists the truth as she gossips to others. Mom knows this. But over the past year, mom accidentally has leaked information to her that was supposed to be between mom and I. This last time was my last straw. I’ve had enough. I’m now thisclose to packing up and moving far away from my family. I can’t trust them, I can’t confide in them, the town is run down, so why stay? I’ve always stayed because my mom (70) has nobody else except me and sis. My sister will take advantage of her. But now I’m to the point where I Don’t Care. The only thing I asked for from my mom was privacy from my sister and she can’t even give me that, so why should I care anymore. I will not cut off my mom, but I will not talk to her about anything in my life anymore, and it will be easier if I move away. I’ve always loved a different state and the only reason I’ve never moved there was because of mom. But now I’d like to move to get away from her. She moved in right next door to me last year, and my sister now visits her allllll the time. She never visited her at her old house, but now she’s constantly there at mom’s new place. Even seeing her van outside my window everyday gives me a headache, we live in a condo and I hate that my sister now has access to the pool, etc. I just want out. But my mom will get taken advantage of in the years to come.
  11. Well this is all very insignificant to me now. I just learned about someone passing away who meant a lot to me. Suddenly, this is so stupid. But thank you everyone.
  12. He “only” had 2 good friends, both happily married with kids. His family consisted of his mom and dad still married, and 2 sisters whom he was very close with and their children.
  13. I will ask next time, but they can easily lie and there are always 2 sides to the story, so what difference does it make.
  14. Holly, the men I meet don’t seem like creeps until I’m well involved with them. They are all successful, independent, strong confident men.
  15. I never asked him why they broke up to begin with, I assumed it was in his past and I just left it there. It’s hard to say if she disliked him or if she was just being a strong confident women. Anyway, you are right, I should Block. I’m feeling like I should block after reading these posts. It’s over, I could never trust him, I have nothing to hear or say from him. Why leave it open. Blocking.
  16. I thought of that, too. I guess I’ll never know.
  17. That ex is out of the picture and I in no way have any feelings for him at all. If he died tomorrow, I would be neutral about it. He’s just someone that I used to know, that I liked the attention from, and that I’ve known a long time. He canoe into my life when I was at a low point, unemployed, famiy problems, recently broken up with someone that I really loved. I was vulnerable and I loved the attention. I’m different now. I did not entertain his texts last Spring. That guy is in my past and I cringe to even think of his name. I did not “cheat” or in any way cyber cheat/text cheat with the guy that I’m now writing about. It’s not a mess and I’m not a mess. I tried bring very careful with how I screen Men. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, if anything. People can hide behind several masks and for some reason, I attract this type and they seem fine to me until the mask comes off. I really can’t blame myself for their deception.
  18. They had been broken up for 2 years and no contact for 2 years when he and I began dating. I was with him 9 months. So they had been broken up almost 3 years.
  19. I don’t want him back. But I’m just not ready to Block. I can’t explain it. If he called me today and sent me flowers, I would reject him because my trust is gone.
  20. I don’t agree with Jimthzz. Ball is in her court, no need to contact her again,
  21. Hi Holly, That’s the weird thing. I wasn’t a rebound. When he and I began dating, he told me he had been single by Choice for 2 years after a 2 year relationship. I was so happy to hear this. When I read his texts to her, the only positive thing was he didn’t lie to me about how long they had been broken up. Because he got mad when she asked him if he’s single. He didn’t answer her question. Instead, he said to her, I’m paraphrasing, “it’s been almost 3 years since you and I have talked or seen eachother . Can we just meet up like 2 normal adults without the drama?” She turned him down and he basically dismissed her with a nonchalant “your choice, cya.” So no, I wasn’t the rebound. Have I blocked him? No. I will when I feel it’s time. Blocking doesn’t help me if I implement it right away.
  22. No worries. It gets tiresome to overthink if what your doing is too much, not enough, or analyzing situations. You took her on a nice date at a nice restaurant because you wanted to. It’s totally fine. I shouldn’t have said it would be offsetting to me.!i would’ve been surprised, but it definetely wouldn’t have been any issue. I think you did good. The reason for her ghosting you has nothing to do with you, guaranteed. It’s all on her. Move on and count your blessings that you weren’t emotionally invested in her.
  23. Hey Wiseman, good to see you again....well...kinda :(
  24. Telling his ex that he still wants her in his life as a friend and maybe it’ll lead to something more serious isn’t crossing the line? Ok.
  25. If I were in her shoes, it would’ve been a little offsetting to go to such a romantic place on only date number 2.
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