Ms Darcy Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Go to the gym whenever you are feeling insecure about the situation ... you'll end up a bodybuilder! Win win. Link to comment
luxurylover Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 keeping up with this thread makes me feel better about my own neurotic , albeit hidden, behavior Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted January 27, 2015 Author Share Posted January 27, 2015 keeping up with this thread makes me feel better about my own neurotic , albeit hidden, behavior Haha glad I could help with my current craziness! Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted January 27, 2015 Author Share Posted January 27, 2015 So interesting response to me joint a gym. "You going to turn into a bro, now?" Link to comment
weathergirl Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 I appreciate your honesty, but I've been talking to a couple of buds and I'm going to be signing up at their gym. Probably after work tonight. It's also 24/7 so it would allow me to go whenever. That's fantastic...but I was talking about what OKane said about giving her the opportunity to miss you. She won't ever have that opportunity if you are constantly texting her and constantly wanting to see her. Do you think you could go a day without texting her? I bet she'd wonder about you and think about you ....as wondering about someone increases attraction! I dunno maybe she would even miss you...and text you...asking you to get together for a change! I mean she blew you off last night...turned down your invite to meet a couple of your friends. You should have stepped back a bit( like you said you would)... but you didn't...you texted her this morning wishing her a good day! And then said you would probably text again later asking her to get together. How can she ever wonder about you and MISS YOU if you are always around...always in her "face"? There is no challenge there for her, no mystery, no wondering what's gonna happen next...all of which create and increase attraction....in these early stages. Predictably in the early stages is an attraction killer!! That's all I (and Okane) meant Coldarmy...I aologize if I sound harsh...but I want this to work out for you!!! Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted January 27, 2015 Author Share Posted January 27, 2015 thank you weather girl. I didn't text her the entire day besides the have a good day at work text. She texted me about going out about an hour before she got off of work. So I stayed strong! I'm out with her as we speak. She's in the rest room. Link to comment
weathergirl Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Okay well have fun then!!! Link to comment
weathergirl Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 I think it's hilarious you're reading and responding to posts on ENA while on a date with her! Too funny...and I thought *I* was getting addicted! lol Be careful though...you wouldn't want her thinking you're texting another woman! Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted January 27, 2015 Author Share Posted January 27, 2015 God forbid she show any jealousy! ;p I appreciate your opinions that much! Link to comment
luxurylover Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 i like how weathergirl is making sure to say to do these things in the early stages , cause in the later stages this could backfire, depending on the girls personality. but in the early stages, she's right. my grandmother used to call it "making yourself strange". in other words like they say give her a chance to miss you. let her do some of the reaching out too Link to comment
luxurylover Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 I think it's hilarious you're reading and responding to posts on ENA while on a date with her! i know , i was thinking the same thing. i love it lmao Link to comment
okane24 Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Hey bud... I am really Proud of you for joining a gym brotha!! It'll do so many great things for you: 1) Personal escape 2) Help you with your anxiety 3) Help you get healthier 4) You'll see other dudes gettin' after and that will motivate you 5) There are other cute girls there. I know you're faithful but you can still look 6) Positive way to self improve - it's not the bar. Some suggestions, try to go often. Don't tell your girl your schedule every minute of the day. Like weathergirl said, give the girl the gift of Mystery! Some women don't want to know it all. They like piecing things together, CSI like. The more independent you are, the more she can Miss you! When you go, leave your phone in your car. Focus on your positive thoughts and your workout. Get in your head in a positive way. Your reward for working out hard, is your phone in your car. So, how was your date? Where did you go? Be playful with her too, if she asks you why you joined the gym, tell her you just saw this transformative new show called, The Jersey Shore and you wanted to get pumped and spray tanned as soon as possible.... (haha, my stupid humor) point is, have fun with her. Make her laugh! Dating should be fun!!! I'm rootin' for you man! Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted January 27, 2015 Author Share Posted January 27, 2015 It was fun. We went to a pool hall/ bar type place, our first date was there. It went well, we started a tab and she had given them her debut card. So when I went up for more drinks I asked the bartender to not let her pay so it was my treat I felt like I was a little looser and made her laugh a lot. I then spent the night at her place and that went really well too. I kept it light. We were intimate then I left to go to work about an hour ago. Who knows how long it will last but I feel more like myself today than I have in quite some time. It sucks not getting much of any verbal lovey dovey type stuff but hopefully I can keep how I feel now going to where I'm okay with it. Oh and I thought about what was said a few posts ago about not texting her for whole day. Does that sound like a good idea to anyone else. Especially a day after we had sex, I don't want to send any vibes that I'm only in it for sex. Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted January 27, 2015 Author Share Posted January 27, 2015 Then I also feel like I'm playing games. Just over 2 months in but as you know a lot of time has been invested. Link to comment
janut1 Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 As a female, and someone who does get insecure like you, I would feel bad if I was intimate with a man and then heard nothing from him the day after. So my vote is to just check in once later tonight or tomorrow morning and say something like I had a great time. Look forward to seeing you again soon. But I will be interested to see how okane answers this one as he may have a different perspective. Link to comment
luxurylover Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 As a female, and someone who does get insecure like you, I would feel bad if I was intimate with a man and then heard nothing from him the day after. agreed. omg i would be real pissed if a guy didnt text me for a whole day after having sex with me and a great date. at least i would want a "hey how's ur day going" light type text. if not i would think the guy is sending mixed signals and/or playing games. wouldnt u feel like that if the situation was reversed? (i think it has been reversed judging from previous posts from u tho) Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted January 27, 2015 Author Share Posted January 27, 2015 In trying to figure out how to word your recommendation differently. That seems very formal and something you'd say after the first 5 dates? Am I wrong about that? Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Sometimes ya'll dissect the fun out of everything. Link to comment
luxurylover Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 coldarmy i think youre thinking that about janut's text suggestion because that's your thinking pattern. i don't think she would think that. i wouldnt. or just phrase it in your own language. say what comes to ur heart Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 coldarmy i think youre thinking that about ms darcy's text suggestion because that's your thinking pattern. i don't think she would think that. i wouldnt. or just phrase it in your own language. say what comes to ur heart Um ... Ms Darcy didn't make a text suggestion. I think you misread something. Link to comment
luxurylover Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 oops, i meant janut. yall both have similar color avatars Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted January 28, 2015 Author Share Posted January 28, 2015 That was Janut. "I had a great time last night!" Her: what part of last night?! Haha" "The whole thing! You're pretty amazing fyi" Her: "aww you're not so bad yourself!" Link to comment
janut1 Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 That was Janut. "I had a great time last night!" Her: what part of last night?! Haha" "The whole thing! You're pretty amazing fyi" Her: "aww you're not so bad yourself!" Love it! Link to comment
okane24 Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 Very impressed. You're doing great! Now when you're not with her, hit the gym. Buy an engaging book. Set some short term and long term goals for yourself. As for Her bday and Valentines, it seems to me that she would be into you making plans. Think of something creative and fun and show her a great time. It doesn't have to be expensive, just thoughtful. Find out if she's into flowers or sweets or movies or music and be creative and have fun with it. Best of luck! Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted January 28, 2015 Author Share Posted January 28, 2015 Well I already found out she prefers potted flowers to cut flowers. Check. I know she like chocolate. I'll have to really think, I don't feel like I'm that creative or there are very many creative options around here. I feel like if I try to set plans for those days, more so her birthday, it'll interfere with anything her sister or friends would do for her birthday. Again, no birthday plans yet that in aware of. Link to comment
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