weathergirl Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 ...and when you asked about V-Day...she said she "might" have other plans "that" night as well, right? Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted January 28, 2015 Author Share Posted January 28, 2015 ...and when you asked about V-Day...she said she "might" have other plans "that" night as well, right? No, I don't think so. Sure would hope she wouldn't have plans that day! At the end of the day I would be upset if I didn't get to celebrate her birthday with her by doing whatever shed like to do and who with and definitely something on v day for the two of us. Link to comment
weathergirl Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 Okay sorry I was just going off your post no. 112, first paragraph. You asked her about her b-day and V-Day and she replied she "didn't know what she was doing 'yet', but she knows YOU would like to spend it with her." So if nothing better comes along, she'll spend V-Day with you? Nice! Sorry to be such a downer.. but that sort of response speaks volumes as to how high she places you on her priority list. Not very high IMO... Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted January 28, 2015 Author Share Posted January 28, 2015 id be really surprised if I wasn't there for her birthday and vday. I just haven't asked her much about it since then since I agreed with the poster that said to let it get closer to the days and let the relationship progress a bit. I guess I'll have to check in on that when it's about two or so weeks away. I saw her after work today. She told me she was making her chili, which is amazing, and told me she'd save me some. I stopped by there after work but made sure not to stay the night like I usually would. Was basically a late dinner with Netflix. She eventually started falling asleep. I woke her and told her I had to go as she knew ahead of time I'd be leaving this evening. She rolled over and rubbed the back of my arms, it did feel a bit more loving than usual. I kissed her and told her to have a good day tomorrow. She said be careful driving home and I left. If there was ever a time to not text her for a day it would be tomorrow. Either way, I'm hoping work goes alright tomorrow so I can hit the gym afterwards. My short term goal is to go tomorrow and either Thursday or Friday and at least one day over the weekend. Her and I both have this weekend off which never happens so it could be a busy weekend. Link to comment
luxurylover Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 if she initiates tho, r u going to text her back? just being nosey Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted January 28, 2015 Author Share Posted January 28, 2015 if she initiates tho, r u going to text her back? just being nosey sigh, I would probably respond to a text yeah. I think I'd feel bad if I didn't just for the sake of not responding. It's ones of those things, I wouldn't want her to do that to me and she has always responded to my texts. She works until 10 tonight so it's probably a non issue. Plus if she texts me and asks what I'm doing tonight that'll give me a chance to say hey I'm going to the gym! Link to comment
luxurylover Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 That's what i was thinking too, to not respond would b messy. I need a friend like u in real life/time so we could obsess over our different relationships Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted January 28, 2015 Author Share Posted January 28, 2015 That's what i was thinking too, to not respond would b messy. I need a friend like u in real life/time so we could obsess over our different relationships Ha! That would be helpful! Link to comment
janut1 Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 That's what i was thinking too, to not respond would b messy. I need a friend like u in real life/time so we could obsess over our different relationships me too!...I need a friend like u in real life/time so we could obsess over our different relationships Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted January 28, 2015 Author Share Posted January 28, 2015 Man this hasn't been a good day. In up in my head and am stuck at work waiting in this truck so there's nothing to keep me busy and there's forever to go before I could even think about hitting the gym. I don't know if I'm just in a terrible mood or if it's her for no particular reason, but my stomache is in knots and I have less patience than normal. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 Man this hasn't been a good day. In up in my head and am stuck at work waiting in this truck so there's nothing to keep me busy and there's forever to go before I could even think about hitting the gym. I don't know if I'm just in a terrible mood or if it's her for no particular reason, but my stomache is in knots and I have less patience than normal. I have been you and as I read through your thread one thing stands out. There are times I feel the way you do, anxiety and obsessing. Then there are times, depending on whom I am dating that I don't feel that way. What is the difference? I want to say a variety of things but mainly. . the level of interest that is being reciprocated. I think when it's not even is when the anxiety, stomach knot feelings spring up. So acknowledging that what do you do? Cut it lose and find someone else? Stick it out and see if something meaningful grows out of it? Challenge it? Remind me how long you two have been dating. .I am pretty sure it's close to 3 months? and I don't know about you or others but I am thinking at a 3 month mark you shouldn't be feeling so uneasy and if you two still haven't turned the corner by now I would challenge it. .or challenge yourself. .or her. Not sure. . . Sorry, don't mean to make your day worse, but dating shouldn't be so hard and what I've learned . . if it is . .it's possible it's not the right one. Just in the last few mo's I've gone through what you are experiencing and couldn't do it. . I am now dating someone who I don't doubt his intentions or feelings . . The experiences and emotions I am going through are polar opposite of each other. I've gone from an anxious obsessive mess, lost almost 10 lbs and now I am relaxed and calm. Don't know for sure that the #2 guy is `the one' but I am not feeling all those emotions you describe. You are taking on all the responsibility as if you have some sort of character flaw. . and that can't feel good. Link to comment
janut1 Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 Is this the No Text day? If so, thats why you are feeling that way. I get that way too so I know it well. I also get like that if I text him and don't get a reply within a few minutes Just try to breath and relax and go work out when you can. Get yourself a nice dinner tonight and chill. One day is not big deal even thought it feels like it right now. It helps me to remember the last nice thing that he said to me so I am not as anxious. I am learning to be a bit more patient with his replies too, which is helping me not jump the gun and text him again if I don't hear from him within a certain time frame. Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted January 28, 2015 Author Share Posted January 28, 2015 Reinventmyself I'm pretty sure I emssed up the timing when I started the thread it's probably closer to 2 maybe 2.5 months at this point. I woukd like to challenge her to see where she's at, but I'm torn, I don't know that my worries are even warranted! She does keep a decent line of communication and has asked me to hang out more than I have lately, since I've slowed down trying to make plans as much a i had before. I keep thinking I'll have a much stronger understanding after her birthday and Valentine's Day. Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted January 29, 2015 Author Share Posted January 29, 2015 Well she finally just texted me. Nothing special just asked how my day was and how tired she was. Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted January 29, 2015 Author Share Posted January 29, 2015 Asked her what she was up to and she said one of her buddies from work stopped by and she was just having a couple drinks. Now I'm totally tortured. She said I could come over, that would be 3 days in a row so I'm thinking no. Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted January 29, 2015 Author Share Posted January 29, 2015 Told her I wasn't going to intrude on her work buddy and the drinks. Told her it's fine that I was going to do chest stuff now and it would too late once I've showered and everything. I hate this. Mind you I had no intention on going over there anyway but . Link to comment
luxurylover Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 me too!...I need a friend like u in real life/time so we could obsess over our different relationships we should all start a club Link to comment
luxurylover Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Told her I wasn't going to intrude on her work buddy and the drinks. Told her it's fine that I was going to do chest stuff now and it would too late once I've showered and everything. I hate this. Mind you I had no intention on going over there anyway but . well at least u heard from her and shes reaching out, inviting Link to comment
okane24 Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Cold Army, I implore you... don't take what you have for granted. She likes you, she texts you, she's inviting. Enjoy it all!!! I currently feel like S€#¥. I just texted my co-worker to see if we're even cool anymore. She and I haven't spoken in weeks when we used to everyday. I couldn't handle it anymore. If I did something wrong, I just wanna know... Sorry man... I am just super jealous of what you got. I've got Zero female attention. And I feel like I treat women pretty well.... Anyhow, go work out and you're right, give her some space. That's how she can miss you. You're gettin it man!! All the best... Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted January 29, 2015 Author Share Posted January 29, 2015 Thank you okane. Im sorry youre going through a rough patch. If i took this for granted would i be acting this crazy?! I didnt ask if it was a male or female work buddy, but i guess it really doesnt matter and it would show obvious jealousy just in asking. More specifically: Her: Are you working out? (I texted her saying F Ellipticals) Me: Just about to leave the gym, whatcha up to? Her: One of my buddies from work came by..just having a couple drinks what ru up to? Me: Oh.. Notta. Her: You can come by if you want. Prolly not going to be up super late though... and by that i mean no 5ams haha Me nah not going to intrude on your work buddy and the drinks. Her: Its not a big deal... Me: Well i decided to go ahead and do chest stuff (because i wanted to try to get out the jealous energy) then i have to go shower so it'll be too late. Nothing since then.. I dont know what to do. Im assuming act like nothings bothering me like always tomorrow. Link to comment
okane24 Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Thx man... I'll be fine. Just sucks right now. That was a perfect exchange of texts. Now you try ending things first. At the end you should have said... I'll catcha later. Let her wonder what you're up to... Don't be specific and don't tell her you'll call or text again. Just be busy... cuz you are. This is the perfect cure for her thinking you are needy or clingy. It shows that you have your own life and you'll be fine regardless if she's in it or not. Now that's attractive to her... Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted January 29, 2015 Author Share Posted January 29, 2015 Thx man... I'll be fine. Just sucks right now. That was a perfect exchange of texts. Now you try ending things first. At the end you should have said... I'll catcha later. Let her wonder what you're up to... Don't be specific and don't tell her you'll call or text again. Just be busy... cuz you are. This is the perfect cure for her thinking you are needy or clingy. It shows that you have your own life and you'll be fine regardless if she's in it or not. Now that's attractive to her... Too late to say catcha later now! Wouldnt come off the same but hopefully what i said was enough. Link to comment
Coldarmy13 Posted January 29, 2015 Author Share Posted January 29, 2015 Update Her just now: "My feet are cold and you arent here.. how am i to survive?!" I dont know if i should respond. I went ahead and responded "Aww" then "Im going to be sore tomorrow, how am i to survive then?!" No response. I need to just get over it. Question is, i dont know what to do tomorrow. There has been a lot of times lately where i just wont text her while im at work anymore, and usually she will text first during her lunch break or after work. Im wondering when is enough, enough? My brain/heart is having such a hard time trying to keep to myself and away from what most of my relationships have been like. Its so out of the ordinary for me to feel like i need to try to act a certain way to hopefully make her miss me? Ive been doing it awhile now, and she has invited me over/out a real decent amount of times. I actually dont remember the last time i asked her out, it may have been once in a few weeks? Im sure its the same if when 96% of the time she asks, i do. Is it really still the early stages of this relationship? I wish i didnt need to play games. I wish she would just open up to me. Are her actions so far enough to make up for the lack of words? Is it my intuition, or am i just crazy about this girl? Thank god for this forum. Link to comment
luxurylover Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 it seems like she's into you even if yall do have different forms of communication styles. look at the text she just sent. then earlier she invited you over etc...shes feeling you. who knows...she could be having the same inner conflict u r. some may disagree with me but i say, why not just do what you feel? now i dont mean blow her up every second of the day, but if you feel like texting her, text her! say a few words and then go on about your day...evening comes u feel like texting her, then text her again. or reply to her if she does. i see alot of over thinking and second guessing. yall have been talking almost 3 months, just ask her out, or text if you feel like it. just dont over do it...texting every 3 seconds...unless she says she likes that, i mean honestly some ppl do, even though she doesnt sound like the type. youre at the stage where some of the guards should be let down imo. esp since she is showing that she's feeling u too even if she is a lil more laid back w/ it. the one thing i do agree w/ is give her time to miss you...translation : dont overdo it. use ur own judgement to determine what that is cause every girl is different. yes u are crazy about her, that's why all the micro analyzation. Link to comment
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