men who financially support women

[Miss Firecracker]

Please no lectures. I geniunely want to know how these women attract and keep these men.

 

They fall in love with them. That means they must be lovable women. I think that's pretty much the answer.

[somethingNew]

I supported my Ex for 2 yrs right after our son was born. I only did this so my son didnt have to be in a daycare.

 

She walked all over me, wasted my money, went on vacations without me, left me for another guy and took everything ..and wanted more afterwards. Since she didnt work those 2yrs, she was easily applicable to get every assitance and welfare known, including free housing and cleaned me out on child support.

 

Id never do it again, for anyone. Ever. The way I see it is men and women are equal in this world and you earn your own keep, married or not. The only scenerio I can see this happening is if your married and one of you falls extremely ill.

 

For all those guys throwing money at women -one word- Pathetic.

 

 

Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding. Resentment often sets in. That man that thought it was great for you to stay home... suddenly looks at you as a liability. How embarrassing to be that woman.

[SpottiOtti]

I have a friend who attracts men like this. It's always the rich guy who's in oil that is calling for her, or the rich guy who has a cattle business, or the rich guy who's in investments. And I have wondered about this too. Her boyfriend gives her lots of money, pays her bills, buys her designer clothes and sunglasses, etc. She works, but she has so much money to spend, because he buys everything for her. I'm not sure what she does to attract these men. She is a huge flirt, very confident, very magnetic and witty and beautiful. And she is not intimidated by their wealth. It's like a mindset; she acts like she's better then them and they aren't used to it, I suppose (a lot of people kiss the asses of the rich), and they just eat it up.

[Blue Spiral]

I know many women are gold diggers, but i dont want to be one.

 

You aren't a gold-digger, but if you got into a situation where a wealthy guy happened to fall in love with you, and it'd be inconvenient tax-wise for you to work, well, you'd just have to put your work-ethic aside and roll with the punches.

 

That's a level of passive-aggressive scheming that's on par with being a born-again virgin.

[SpottiOtti]

Also, my friend has the attitude that so many men have screwed her over, she wants to screw them over whenever she can. She feels absolutely no remorse about not even extending them the most simple courtesies. She doesn't see men as people. It's like they're the enemy, and she has to conquer them with her vagina.

[FathomFear]

I envy the women who don't have to worry about holding a job at all.

 

Sure, I'd love to live a stress free life and not have to worry about food or shelter too. Who wouldn't? But that doesn't excuse leeching and riding the coattails of others. Nor is it a particularly good idea in the world economy we have today. What if the relationship were to end? The person who is leeching is suddendly going to have to fend for themselves, find a job, etc. It's just very risky.

[Someday_Soon]

There are probably 20 million women in America wondering the same thing. I think it probably has more to do with the luck of the draw. You have to position yourself to meet men who are financially successfull. There are certain social settings that may be more conducive to that than others.

[Fudgie]

Who wouldn't want a stress life, like Fathom said? Then again, it's good to be independent, or at least ABLE to be independent on your own if you had to. I doubt these women would do well if they had to divorce these men. How would they get a job with nearly no experience? It's not good.

 

Also, while there are some SAHMs that have a bunch of kids to care for and the husband does help out some, many of these arrangements aren't good because they are INHERENTLY unequal, massively. You don't make money - only your husband does. He's going to have a say over what you buy because HE is the one with a wallet. You're not bringing home the bacon, so what's in it for him? It's only fair that you do more of the housework, clean up everything, make him dinner when he gets home, and all that. And if you have kids? OH BOY. You're going to be busy!

 

If you're fine with living the '50s housewife lifestyle, go for it. But is that really want you want for yourself in the end? Wouldn't you like to do your part and add to the income in hard times instead of just making the guy do it? It's really hard on him for him to be the solebreadwinner FOREVER.

[somethingNew]

Also, my friend has the attitude that so many men have screwed her over, she wants to screw them over whenever she can. She feels absolutely no remorse about not even extending them the most simple courtesies. She doesn't see men as people. It's like they're the enemy, and she has to conquer them with her vagina.

 

sounds healthy!

[SpottiOtti]

Very unhealthy, and makes me sad for her that she doesn't understand that she is more than just her vagina. There are other things about her that are worth something too. Also makes me sad that she is missing out on things because she doesn't think of men as people.

[annie24]

Also, my friend has the attitude that so many men have screwed her over, she wants to screw them over whenever she can. She feels absolutely no remorse about not even extending them the most simple courtesies. She doesn't see men as people. It's like they're the enemy, and she has to conquer them with her vagina.

 

bwahahah!! conquer them with her vagina! shouldn't we all?!

 

I do genuinely wonder about this too. Or when I see a gorgeous man with an unattractive, angry, mean woman. I wonder, 'what the heck?!' my guess there she is amazing in bed.

 

truth be told, these guys probably have something wrong with them too, if they get turned on by this woman who treats them like crap. i'm a nice girl and i've watched girls who treat guys not so well get fawned over like crazy. i think that the guys who go for that probably have some kind of messed up relationship with their mothers. that's my take. I also think some guys aren't looking for a partner, they're looking for arm candy.

 

i agree with someday_soon - you have to be where these guys are to attract them. ie, high society events, at certain nightclubs or hotel lounges. you're not going to meet them in the grad school coffee shop.

[Blue Spiral]

hxtp 15431565

 

At first you could only find them on dating websites, now there are big budget sugar daddy parties.

 

The events are becoming a regular fixture in New York with the company behind them planning to introduce them in the UK.

 

At one event near Times Square the club is sold out and the dancefloor is lined with men, most of them over 40.

 

They're far outnumbered by the number of young women.

 

The night starts when organiser Alan Schneider makes an announcement on the microphone.

 

"Men, you know what to do," he says. "Women, receive their generosity. We will touch you with passion and fire all night long."

[somethingNew]

Very unhealthy, and makes me sad for her that she doesn't understand that she is more than just her vagina. There are other things about her that are worth something too. Also makes me sad that she is missing out on things because she doesn't think of men as people.

 

Well people have to learn their own lessons, there is nothing you can say. They experience it, and then they get it.

[Fudgie]

here's another thing OP.

 

Call me CRAZY here, but I'm from a really good family. I've met a lot of doctors, lawyers, etc, I'm related to many. Pretty much half of college are very driven professionals-to-be wanting to make the big bucks. And a good chunk of them probably will.

 

But I can personally tell you, I don't want to marry a very wealthy guy. Call me crazy. I'm too stingy for that lifestyle, I'm learning. I come to college and find that I LOVE living in a small bedroom and I can get by with a little. But I don't like the possible elitism (which there is often a lot of) and how appearances matter SO MUCH in that society. I think appearances matter a lot everywhere and you need to look good for jobs and whatnot, but I want to be able to dress casual and go out when work is done and not worry about who is seeing me or that high society wife group or whatever.

 

I also would just like to be independent and make my own money and way, and same for the guy. That way we can both contribute what we can.

[somethingNew]

And that... is why independent women are sexy.

[thejigsup]

I did have this happen to me. When I was 19 I had a friend set me up with the very, very, very, rich guy at a New Year's Eve party. He was young, talented, and had more money that God. He was also very nice, very fun, and all of my friends loved him. We dated for about 18 months. He didn't want me to work because he wanted me to be free to travel with him. We lived in L.A. and we would go to dinner in San Francisco or Seattle quite often. Just dinner, a movie, and then we'd fly home. We took trips to Hawaii where he owned a couple of homes and we also went out on his yacht, his catamaran, or his fishing boat at least twice a month. He owned his own business and had guys twice his age working for him. I met these guys and liked all of them. He wanted to marry me and I turned him down. As fun as the lifestyle was, I felt like a dog on a leash and I hated it. I've always been independent and while I was with him, I wasn't. I relied on him for everything and that gave me the creeps, even though he was a very sweet guy and never tried to control me. I have never regretted breaking up with him because I've traveled the world, put myself through school (I'm now pursuing post grad studies), and had many jobs that I loved. I did all of this on my own dime and I am proud of myself. I wear designer clothes and drive a nice car that I bought for myself. I am a strong, independent, woman and I would be none of this if I had "gone for the bucks" and married him.

[Capricorn3]

.......................

[BritterSweet]

Having a man support you while you stay at home and/or shop may sound like a life free of worry, but this actually restricts you more than it liberates you.

 

One of my mom's friends is staying with her husband even though she knows he's cheating on her, because she's financially dependent on him and can't afford to leave him. Another friend of my mom's is going through a divorce, and her husband is going to take the house, leaving her and their son on their own. She doesn't know what she's going to do!

 

I'm studying to get a good job so I won't have to depend on a man. If things don't end up well between us, I won't be stuck with him. And if he's in trouble, I can help him!

[Lonewing]

Meanwhile, I look upon profile after profile on these dating sites of girls who describe this lifestyle as their perfect way of life...

 

One of my greatest epiphanies in this life thus far is that no matter where you go, you will be someone's worker, so you had best find the best master you can possible find, who will provide the most for the least, and give that person or entity all you got.

 

Independence has a price too high for me. Particularly False Independence. It only looks like independence because you have trained yourself to believe it is. But the only truly independent people are those on top.

[Fudgie]

Well, it is true in a way. I am "dependent" on wherever my money is coming from, parents, employers, whatever.

 

I think the point is though, I'd rather work and have the ability to get that money from an employer, rather than NOT working and just getting that money from a spouse. I'd rather be "subordinate" under a boss, not a husband. I don't want that sort of inequality in a relationship, and have to ask for spending money when I want it, being questions as to WHERE I'm spending it, etc. Gosh, sounds like my dad.

 

The "rich lifestyle" definitely isn't my cup of tea. I grew up with a lot of niceties that I've done without at college and now I know that I'll be fine without when I get older. All I want that's "rich"? I want a bidet and I want to travel, even if it's "budget" seats and hotels and I'm planning waaaayyy ahead for it. That's fine.

[katycloud]

I have some friends who don't work, and just stay at home and shop! I envy them so much. A lot of the guys I've dated probably would have dumped me if I stopped working. And I am a very independent female. I'm in school and I plan to start a steady career in the future. Midterms in coming up, and I'm staying up late studying, while my friends post status's about shopping and dining out etc. I envy the women who don't have to worry about holding a job at all.

 

Why aren't men willing to financially support me? Why can't I attract those types of men? I'm not the most attractive female, but I'm not ugly either. I definitely turn heads a few times, and my friends are just as average looking.

 

This is something that just crossed my mind.

 

Sometimes I experience the same frustration. In my relationship, I am the female supporting the male. My boyfriend and I both work full time, but I make more than him - we are saving up for a house deposit and eventually get married, and I know I will be the breadwinner of the household. Which, at times thinking about it, frustrates me because I'm going to have to be the one who goes back to work after I've just had a baby etc. I'll be supporting my husband. It frustrates me because I see friends my age who have never worked, or have a lower-paying 'easy' job working just a couple of days a week, and already own a house/have children/have been traveling around the world because their husband makes heaps and supports them so that they can sit back a little.

 

HOWEVER, the frustration that I feel for this is only fleeting because then I realise how lucky I am to be in a relationship that is not about money. Finances are not central to our roles within the relationship. My boyfriend and I are not together out of financial convenience, but we are together because we love each other - and then we sort out the finances later.

 

Also, and this I feel is a very important point - all of the girls I know who have just had things handed to them by their financially adept partners/husbands have less life skills. They do not know what it is like to work hard for what you have. They have less communication/interpersonal/management and other general skills that you get from being a part of a workforce. So it makes me proud to be a woman who understands the value of working hard for what you have, earning money, serving society, having responsibility, etc etc etc.

[TheVP]

A lot of the guys I work with are making salaries $250,000 a year and up, and as expected, many of their wives don't consider it worthwhile working long hours to add an extra $25,000 onto their collective salaries. Some of of these women get bored with their lifestyle and become very shallow, but some of them do a lot of great volunteer work and community service.

 

It seems that Hollywood has created the image that meeting a wealthy guy involves walking into a casino and finding a guy wearing a tuxedo tossing dice. In reality, most of these guys live pretty dull lives--work long hours, return to their townhouse to watch a movie by themselves at night time. Many of these single guys probably have fewer out of work friends than your average guy since all their energy goes into their work.

 

Many of these guys get hooked up by mutual friends. Believe it or not, a lot of these guys are on the free online dating sites. If one of them is a playboy, he's much more likely to post his salary on these sites. If one of these guys is looking for something more serious, he'll probably won't show his salary in hopes of finding a woman that's genuinely interested in him. Then he'll might get frustrated about how he's been rejected by one hundred women online, lol.

[Batya33]

I have some friends who don't work, and just stay at home and shop! I envy them so much. A lot of the guys I've dated probably would have dumped me if I stopped working. And I am a very independent female. I'm in school and I plan to start a steady career in the future. Midterms in coming up, and I'm staying up late studying, while my friends post status's about shopping and dining out etc. I envy the women who don't have to worry about holding a job at all.

 

Why aren't men willing to financially support me? Why can't I attract those types of men? I'm not the most attractive female, but I'm not ugly either. I definitely turn heads a few times, and my friends are just as average looking.

 

This is something that just crossed my mind.

 

I don't work outside the home and my husband does. I can financially support myself without working outside the home if I needed to. I work extremely hard in the home. Most days I have about an hour to myself during the day and about an hour at night. Some days it's a little less and on weekends it's a little more. Before you assume your friends are not working inside the home and before you assume that your friends aren't contributing money they've saved to the household expenses, stop and realize that Facebook is probably not giving you the whole picture.

 

I would not enjoy being a lady of leisure full time. If I didn't have to work to make money I would want to do important volunteer work that I felt contributed to the world. I've been working or in school for about 30 years (since I was a teenager). I am a very independent person too and I don't envy women who choose to depend financially on a man and choose not to work inside or outside the home. I'd find it boring. Wouldn't you? But, I am not as quick to judge as you are since often I know I don't know the whole story.

[DN]

There is no question that raising small children is hard physical work. But as they get older, particularly when they get into school, it gets progressively easier, especially if you bring up the children to gradually take responsibility for themselves and help in the house. By the time they have left home the workload has (or should have) dramatically reduced but the breadwinner is still working the same hours.

 

But many of the women who want to marry rich and stay at home also expect to have help from nannies, au pairs and cleaners and so on. The richer they marry the less physical work they do and the less time is spent working in the home.

[tiredofvampires]

But the only truly independent people are those on top.

 

Nope, the people at the top depend on their clientele, customers, donors, those that work under them to keep things going smoothly, other businesses (with people at the top, middle and bottom), service people of all ranks whose work maintains their lifestyle, and laborers who bring them basic goods that they rely on. They depend on anyone who pays their bills or provides upkeep so they can enjoy living at the top.

 

They also, more intangibly, have depended on those who, during the process of getting to the top, believed in them, subsidized them, offered them opportunities.

 

Finally, they depend on lady luck and society at large as it changes with the times.

 

No one is fundamentally "independent" of anyone else. Or I should say, no one else.