redrose85 Posted December 5, 2011 Author Share Posted December 5, 2011 So we’re at $917 savings already. Go us! I got a bonus from my deli job. I’m feeling pretty lucky to work where I do right now. Alex and I went to the staff party last night and it was casino themed. They had a bunch of contracts with local blackjack, poker, roulette, crowns and anchors staff, etc... mocktails, a ton of delicious catered appies, and they were giving away prizes to every staff member instead of giving huge prizes to just a few. Some of my co-workers really scored-- $250 for one lady, $100 vanilla visa card for another. I did not score. I got a $10 gift card to the store It didn’t matter though because I found out that I was given a bonus, and I was given a raise last month--- did I mention I’ve only been back since August–– not bad guys, not bad. And now I am off to aforementioned workplace. Work 6-2:30 today and then my department at the uni is having our end of year fiesta and I need to be there for about 3:00. I am going to be a tired Sherry tonight! Link to comment
Firiel Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 That sounds like a great part-time job to have! I feel that way about my part-time job... no raises or bonuses, but it pays well per hour and has a super flexible schedule. It's really perfect for what I need right now. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 Sounds pretty dang awesome Sherry! Link to comment
redrose85 Posted December 6, 2011 Author Share Posted December 6, 2011 As predicted, I am fairly tired. Work was hard today. Go, go go! It’s been a really long day and my mood has now shifted from hyper to blase. Because this is my journal I can be honest: Sometimes I feel like I am behind everyone else. I wish I was successful like some other people my age. I wish we were more financially secure and that money wasn’t such a big deal-- that it wouldn’t have to be a choice between buying people christmas gifts or getting the car fixed. The closer graduation gets, the more anxious I get about what my future is all about. Will this degree be any good? How much more school will I need? What am I good at that I can make a career out of? Is this all just one big mistake? I feel so very average. I think I’m just tired and as such, feeling a bit mopey. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 I don't think your behind anyone else (I know that feeling though). Not so much with money and everything but the kid thing... sometimes it really gets to me and I have to give myself the pep talk my time will (hopefully) come and when it does it'll be the right time. Link to comment
redrose85 Posted December 6, 2011 Author Share Posted December 6, 2011 I just hope things turn out good for me. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 The will darling. *hugs* Link to comment
Firiel Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 I totally relate to this... I feel the same way a lot of times. B and I are basically living on two part time jobs. This Christmas, I think I'm making my family cookies, that's how broke we are. Especially having graduated with one worthless degree, I'm worried I'll just be graduating with another one. I'm just not where I expected to be at this age. Just try to realize the areas where you ARE rocking it... you've already found the man of your dreams, you have a ton of great resume builders (newspaper, children's book), and even if your degree for some reasons doesn't take you places, you'll adjust and be successful and happy anyway because you are smart, adaptable, and driven. I hope you feel better soon! Link to comment
redrose85 Posted December 6, 2011 Author Share Posted December 6, 2011 Thank you Firiel and OG. You guys know just what to say. I guess I’m just feeling a bit lost. Like, where is my niche? Shouldn’t I have found it by now? I think the problem is that I don’t feel driven right now, and haven’t for awhile. I suppose I am just burnt out for a bit and vacation will take care of that. I’m just watching some people really come into their own and I thought I had reached that point when I was interning at the city paper, but now I’m not so sure. As time passes, things become uncertain... maybe I didn’t do as well as I thought I did, maybe I’m a horrible editor... It’s hard when everything I do has to take Alex into account. I can’t just run off to take a program elsewhere. I love him so much. There is a tether there though, that my friends don’t really understand. It complicates things when it comes to making decisions. On the other side of that however is the simple, and wonderful fact, that I always have him to back me, and to support me. I picked up a short shift for tomorrow. I can’t seem to just be on vacation! It’s too weird to go from crazy busy to it tapering off to nothing. I need to work. I look back and I can’t believe what a whirlwind this semester has been. I mean, I ended the summer with three jobs, got engaged and handled all of the funny stress stuff that brought, had a damn miscarriage but still held on to two jobs and five courses, and got it all done. I think I am my mother. Far too critical of self and never fully aware of how much I do have to offer and how much I do deserve a real break. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 A lot of people get college degrees and end up not even working in the field they got the degree in - either due to the economy or they find out what they went to school for wasn't really their thing. Don't put a time scale on finding your niche, it comes to us all at different stages. That's why some people strike it big young with these great ideas and others it doesn't happen til much later in life. I def. think you may be feeling burnt out and over exhausted from work and school - I know during wedding planning and working full time I never even thought about touching my novel, I just wasn't motivated to. Now that wedding planning is out of the way that drive to work on it is slowly coming back. I'm sure the same is for you. I can understand the decision thing and having to take Alex into account. A lot of people don't understand why I have forgone going to college and being a career woman - simply put it's not in the deck of cards for me and L. I have other things I'd rather do and I'm okay with working retail the rest of my life if it means L gets the chance after I'm settled to try to become a air traffic controller. I can love whatever I job do (to a degree) but I know that's a major one for him. If they don't have that thether, they'll never understand. Link to comment
hers Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 I'm one of the ones who has a collegedegree they aren't using. My husband too. And a few of my friends. Sometimes it really gets to me that I'm 29, college educated, and just a waitress at the same restaurant I worked in when I was in college. Istill am not sure where I want to be in life. Don't stress yourself out with timelines or specifics bc they only set you back. Where you are is where you're supposed to be. You just keep doing the next right thing and you will be where you're supposed to be. Link to comment
redrose85 Posted December 7, 2011 Author Share Posted December 7, 2011 I just need to be more like Alex. Chill, happy with how things are now, with no deadlines. Being me can be exhausting LOL. We had a great night tonight. We went to a true story slam put on by a class in my department, and it was really entertaining. Alex was reluctant to go but he was laughing and commenting a lot, so I think it’s safe to say that he enjoyed it. I got to introduce him to some new people I’ve met this year, and show off my handsome beast of a fiance. We left about 3/4 of the way through. It was standing room only and I was wearing heels that were killing my feet, esp. after a crazy shift at work, and he was getting super stiff from his own crazy shift. I got a nice upper back/neck massage from him during the stories and it felt sooo good. Didn’t know how much I needed that! Afterwards, we got pizza-- half jalapeno popper pizza (jalapenos, cream cheese, bacon), half overdose pizza (banana peppers, bacon, pepperoni, and feta) and watched Robocop. I was rooting for the bad guy because he was AWESOME. Tomorrow I am hanging out with my momma. We’re going to make Christmas cards. Then in the evening Alex and Shawn and I are going to decorate the house. Link to comment
hers Posted December 7, 2011 Share Posted December 7, 2011 Omg jalapeño popper pizza??? YUM. Link to comment
redrose85 Posted December 8, 2011 Author Share Posted December 8, 2011 Uh huh! I’m going to make my own next time and spread cream cheese on it instead of just having chunks of cream cheese scattered. I got a few things done today on my day off–– paid the parking ticket, got some christmas decorations, made christmas cards with my Mom. Crafting is cathartic. I got really into it and I probably could have kept going but my Mom was feeling pretty done with it. I’m a bit worried about her–– she’s never been a light and fluffy person, but she seems downright depressed lately. Alex took his car in to be fixed, only $70! We can still have “Christmas” lol. Now I need to figure out what to get him. I’m leaning towards something useless and fun, like a sword. That’ll make him grin big. I want to put the tree up, but I’m just not motivated. Maybe if I just go upstairs and haul the boxes out, it will come. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted December 8, 2011 Share Posted December 8, 2011 Uh huh! I’m going to make my own next time and spread cream cheese on it instead of just having chunks of cream cheese scattered. I got a few things done today on my day off–– paid the parking ticket, got some christmas decorations, made christmas cards with my Mom. Crafting is cathartic. I got really into it and I probably could have kept going but my Mom was feeling pretty done with it. I’m a bit worried about her–– she’s never been a light and fluffy person, but she seems downright depressed lately. Alex took his car in to be fixed, only $70! We can still have “Christmas” lol. Now I need to figure out what to get him. I’m leaning towards something useless and fun, like a sword. That’ll make him grin big. I want to put the tree up, but I’m just not motivated. Maybe if I just go upstairs and haul the boxes out, it will come.[/QUOTE] That is what happened with me. I was super excited about Christmas and then I fell into a depression because it has been raining for weeks and we have had no sun for over 2 weeks now. I can not handle the lack of Vit D. I just plummet. I literally had to force myself to be cheerful for my son and drag the stuff out of the basement and decorate and be happy. I think you might get into it if you just do it.( and thank goodness for vit D pills) Link to comment
redrose85 Posted December 8, 2011 Author Share Posted December 8, 2011 I love Christmas, I just dread the mess LOL I forgot to tell you guys about this memory tree. There is this thrift store downtown-- really nice, clean, organized, and actually cheap (unlike value village, etc...) In this store there is a christmas tree set up with instructions for anyone who wants to, to leave a message on the tree for a loved one they have lost. I made one for my grandma and found a nice spot for it on the very full tree. It really warmed my heart that someone thought to do that. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted December 8, 2011 Share Posted December 8, 2011 I adore Christmas too! Normally I have awesome Christmas spirit but this constant rain is really making me down. I guess you know what I mean living on the Island. It used to rain so much when I lived on the mainland ( Vancouver, North Van, Surrey,Richmond, Burnaby, I lived a lot of places out there when I was young) I would just hate it. I can not stand rain. As much as I really loved BC and it was so beautiful I do not think I could live there again and not go mental. That is awesome about that tree! Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted December 8, 2011 Share Posted December 8, 2011 Christmas is better than birthday - no lie. I have 25 boxes of christmas stuff in storage right now to prove it. *sigh* I'm going to have to rebuild my Christmas collection over seas. although where I'm going to put it is beyond me! Poor L. I relaly don't think he understands my Christmas crazy yet... Link to comment
redrose85 Posted December 8, 2011 Author Share Posted December 8, 2011 Hmmm well I put out some of the small things and I still do not feel Christmasy. Alex is going to put the tree up tomorrow and decorate it because he wants to take care of it. I think the problem is that from Halloween onwards, we’re so inundated with Christmas that by the time mid December rolls around, it’s old news. Or maybe it’s just because I have a headache and am tired lol Link to comment
redrose85 Posted December 8, 2011 Author Share Posted December 8, 2011 Feeling more Christmasy this morning. I want to make some of my girlfriends gifts. I was going to make bath bombs, but I really can’t see those turning out well and I really doubt I’ll be able to find citric acid. Then I thought I’d make massage/moisturizing bars-- but beeswax is so darn expensive! Not sure now! Link to comment
redrose85 Posted December 8, 2011 Author Share Posted December 8, 2011 I’m not having a good time today... Auto repair place called. Alex’s front brakes are in dire need of repair. I’m glad they looked, because he will be safe. I’ve been phoning appliance repair places about my dishwasher. One place said $89 for 30 mins of labour. WHAT?! No way. I found a more reasonable place, but am going to wait because now we have a year of home insurance to pay AND the car to pay for. Feel stressed. Sometimes being an adult sucks. Link to comment
Huntress0527 Posted December 8, 2011 Share Posted December 8, 2011 I hear ya. Having to deal with bills and juggling money sucks! I'm going through it myself. I want to go back to the days where I didn't have to worry about any bills! Link to comment
redrose85 Posted December 8, 2011 Author Share Posted December 8, 2011 wahhh now my brand new coffee maker isn’t working. Today officially sucks and it’s only noon!! Link to comment
redrose85 Posted December 9, 2011 Author Share Posted December 9, 2011 Feeling pretty “over” the bar scene. Being "picked up" is awkward as all hell. I guess I’ll just take it as a compliment and spoon my honey at home. I have this friend who I just cannot relate to at all right now. She is dividing herself between two guys-- one who dumped her for someone else and proceeded to dump the new girl weeks later–– another who she has been pining after for almost a year. She is F buddies with both, which I find kind of gross, but whatever. I am just beyond sick of hearing about them. I really am. She has no problem having sex with her dream guy–– whose intentions i just cannot read–– but she is terrified to kiss him, and he hasn’t kissed her. Tonight she kissed him on the cheek for the first time and was so giddy after, trying to read his reaction. I had to stop myself from saying something mean. I just do not get how you can give your body to someone but be too scared to find out how they really feel about you (ie. kissing). I’m rapidly losing respect for her. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 I have to say I agree with you on that. I could never have sex outside a relationship.. just doesn't appeal to me if their are no emotions involved. Link to comment
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