Annie's Journal of Dating and Body Hair Removal

[annie24]

OK cupid also has a section now that you can list your gender and if you are trans (some trans men and women have written to me). However, I'm only looking for cis men. I see a lot of guys are now writing in their profile that they are "cis heterosexual men."

 

you look good for your age!!!

[annie24]

In other news - I went to my first strip club on vacation. It was a club with male dancers. It was... interesting. haha. The guys were doing incredible moves, they're very strong so they were doing some crazy stuff on the pole and pull-up bar. My friend bought Carol and I a private lapdance so that was interesting as well. The price was $120 for 15 minutes but since it was our first time, my friend negotiated it down to $40. lol. He did some sexy dancing and nuzzling which I can't stop giggling during. its just very weird to have some random man nuzzling me and a friend at the same time. He had us touch him all over - he was very soft and smooth - skin like a baby - and he smelled like Vanilla Musk (remember that fragrance?) Anyway, then he pulled it out and made us hold it. haha. I gave him a thumbs up when he asked if I liked it. lol.

 

The whole thing was a bit weird. First off - the guy seemed to be having a really great time, I think he was enjoying it. Or at least he pretends well. I'm sure he doesn't like doing that for all the customers. I've never actually PAID to um.... fondle a man so that was weird too. He was also grabbing my boobs so I guess he was having fun. I got the impression he would have done this all for free. (well, probably not free because it's his job, but I think he was enjoying it.)

 

Actually, I think the funniest part of the night was before Carol came to the club and it was just me and my friend, I was texting Carol to let her know where I was (Carol was out with another friend getting a drink). I kept trying to text, "I'm at the strip club" but my phone kept changing it to "stripe" or other words, probably because I've never used those words before and my iPhone didn't think I could possibly be at a strip club. lol!!!

[notalady]

I've been a regular strip club once (female strippers), and went to see a male stripper show on Vegas for one of my friends' bachelorette party, but it was all looking, no touching. I reckon I would be a bit weirded out if a stranger dude takes out his penis and ask me to hold it, not to mention grabbing my boob! I actually thought lap dance involves no actual touching (maybe a bit of rubbing of course), maybe I'm just naive hahahah....

[sophie274]

Sounds like you had a fun vaca I hope hot gym guy thinks of a hot (and smart and kind) friend he can introduce you to!

[WithLove]

I can't think of any way to hold a man's penis without it being non-sexual (for me). Hahaha!!

[Fudgie]

I've never been to a male strip club, just a regular one (females) but I've heard that the strip clubs with male strippers tend to be way, way, way more handsy and involved than the ones with females. Your experience doesn't sound that out of the norm, according to what I've read about such clubs. The male ones are just really touchy!

[annie24]

At the strip club, I'd say that 80% of the attendees were women in their 20s-40s, nicely dressed, overall decent-attractive women. 10% were their dates (or gay male friends?). Another 10% were paunchy older guys who came alone and were often going into the VIP rooms. I'm unsure how the lap dance differs, if at all, for an attractive woman vs. an older gay man or man on the down-low. Or maybe enough money and they'll do whatever.

[annie24]

I got a text message 2 days ago (at 7:10 AM!!!!) from that guy C I went on a date with over the summer. Cute guy, tall, 28, but was unemployed and about to move back in with his parents. I told him to call me if his situation changed. So he texted me two days ago saying hi how was I doing. I haven't written back. meh.... I'm not sure. He's not a bad guy, I had a nice date with him. He's a bit young. I'm guessing now he's texting me that he found a job, but I am not feeling super motivated to text him back.

[annie24]

Things that make me feel uncomfortable: when a guy asks me in the third email what I'm looking for and why I responded to his message. I don't know - both questions are kind of so complex and I don't want to go into it with a stranger, so I would just rather avoid the conversation all together.

[notalady]

I think it's ok to ask what you're looking for, so that he's not wasting his time communicating and meeting with someone who's looking for something different (though I would prefer that question be asked in person). But why you responded to his message? That's kind of a weird question. Obviously because you are interested based on what you know so far? Sounds insecure to me..

[Silverbirch]

I got a text message 2 days ago (at 7:10 AM!!!!) from that guy C I went on a date with over the summer. Cute guy, tall, 28, but was unemployed and about to move back in with his parents. I told him to call me if his situation changed. So he texted me two days ago saying hi how was I doing. I haven't written back. meh.... I'm not sure. He's not a bad guy, I had a nice date with him. He's a bit young. I'm guessing now he's texting me that he found a job, but I am not feeling super motivated to text him back.

 

You could at least text back if you had liked him - and what if he does have a job?

[faraday]

I think it's ok to ask what you're looking for, so that he's not wasting his time communicating and meeting with someone who's looking for something different (though I would prefer that question be asked in person). But why you responded to his message? That's kind of a weird question. Obviously because you are interested based on what you know so far? Sounds insecure to me..

 

This^

 

It's better to ask in person...but if a man is looking for a ONS, or someone that will stay at home and bare him 12 children...I'd rather not have to meet with them....so it's okay if someone wants to vet me as well.

 

As for the "why did you respond to me?" Question...that does sound pretty insecure...but maybe he has a different motive. A response of "because I like your car!" Might send him running the other way...

Or maybe he hasn't received a ton of responses and he's wondering what made you write back so he can edit his profile to capture the interest of more matches. Like who knows what goes through people's heads.

 

I'd meet and see how things go. Signs of weirdness during the meet means...you don't see them again. But meeting more people is better in dating. Helps to create an environment where scarcity isn't a factor.

[annie24]

I guess the question does stop and make me think - Why am I on a dating site if I am currently applying for jobs, mostly out of the area? Is it fair to start? Unless I'm looking for a fling. I guess it's a long complicated answer to a question I'm not sure I want to answer. Or, I might get a job in the area. Who knows.

 

As for question #2 - he had cute photos and lived in my area. However, he doesn't have a very filled out profile, so then I feel like, "well, why am I writing to him apart from the fact that he's attractive?" then I wonder what his motivation is for asking me why I wrote to him (is he looking for an ego boost? Is he someone else I know who is using false photos to see if I would write to him?) Then I start thinking about that and decide I don't have a good reason apart from his photo was cute.

[annie24]

I hate it when the front desk people in my apartment get an attitude. Like tonight. The elevators weren't working (or I thought they weren't working). The buttons weren't lighting up, and I couldn't hear the elevator going up and down. I asked the front desk guy if the elevator was working. He was like, "how should I know, I've been sitting here all night." So I waited 3 minutes, nothing. So I ask him if he can look at it because none of the lights are on (usually you can see what floor the elevator is on in the lobby). Then he gets up and groans. I'm like, "you don't have to get an attitude with me." He's like it's not you, I've had a bad day, just go use the freight elevator. ok, so I left. I don't know what was up with the elevators, but I don't think it's an unreasonable question to ask the front desk guy (who just sits and watches TV as far as I can tell 90% of the time). Plus he could see if people were coming and going from the elevator from where he's sitting.

[notalady]

Some people are just grumpy. Sometimes I think to myself, if I work a menial job like front desk/retail where I have to service people all day and cop bad attitudes or demands, I'd feel grumpy too. And that makes me feel a bit better haha...

[annie24]

He's just so different compared to the lady who works 8 AM - 5 PM at the front desk. She is really attentive and sweet and definitely takes your concern seriously even if it's small.

[Batya33]

Some people are just grumpy. Sometimes I think to myself, if I work a menial job like front desk/retail where I have to service people all day and cop bad attitudes or demands, I'd feel grumpy too. And that makes me feel a bit better haha...

 

I guess. I wanted to give negative comments to the front desk person where I get my mammogram - just needlessly grumpy, almost hostile, and I didn't because I assume she needs the job and might have a family to take care of etc. often they ask me to review my experience there. Everyone else is pleasant and nice. I think that everyone has a bad day but someone in customer service is paid to be pleasant. I've done it as a job so I can relate.

[annie24]

Well, it looks like there is something wrong with the elevators because the technician was in this morning. One of them was working thankfully. But obviously, not in my head like the front desk guy was acting like it was.

[annie24]

I guess. I wanted to give negative comments to the front desk person where I get my mammogram - just needlessly grumpy, almost hostile, and I didn't because I assume she needs the job and might have a family to take care of etc. often they ask me to review my experience there. Everyone else is pleasant and nice. I think that everyone has a bad day but someone in customer service is paid to be pleasant. I've done it as a job so I can relate.

 

heck, I don't even need pleasant and nice. Neutral is good enough for me.

[notalady]

I guess. I wanted to give negative comments to the front desk person where I get my mammogram - just needlessly grumpy, almost hostile, and I didn't because I assume she needs the job and might have a family to take care of etc. often they ask me to review my experience there. Everyone else is pleasant and nice. I think that everyone has a bad day but someone in customer service is paid to be pleasant. I've done it as a job so I can relate.

 

You're very considerate then

 

Yea I agree, I hate customer facing people carrying an attitude, makes me want to be not very nice to them either. But I usually just figure, better honey than manure lol... sometimes grumpy service people are a bit less grumpy if I'm all big smiles and nice instead of getting brought down to their level lol... it's hard to stay grumpy when someone is smiling at you and being super polite!

[Batya33]

You're very considerate then

 

Yea I agree, I hate customer facing people carrying an attitude, makes me want to be not very nice to them either. But I usually just figure, better honey than manure lol... sometimes grumpy service people are a bit less grumpy if I'm all big smiles and nice instead of getting brought down to their level lol... it's hard to stay grumpy when someone is smiling at you and being super polite!

 

Maybe. If I have to interact with the person further I will but this person was just checking me in for my ultrasound. Because it's exclusively for breast ultrasounds one would think they would want a positive front desk person (because of course women come there when there is an issue, potential tumors, etc.)

[annie24]

I had a weird phone call with a recruiter (not from the company but from a recruiting firm) last week. He found my resume and called me about a 2 year contract position at a major company. The job required a Master's degree instead of a PhD, but I had all of the qualifications they were looking for. He said they want someone to start in a few weeks and then told me the salary. I think it might be ok for a master's degree holder, but at my level and experience, most of the jobs I am looking at in the private sector pay at least $20,000 a year more (on the low end). I told him I'm looking for a higher starting salary and then he told me, "but it would be great exposure to work for this big name company!" Which struck me as such an unusual thing to say - because one of the perks about working for a big name company is that they can pay the big bucks and not doing the job for a lower salary with the hope that some other "bigger name" company will snatch you up?? blah. I told him to call me if he has something in my salary range. I know people will suggest artists do work for free "for the exposure" but that's crappy as well - they have a skill set and should be compensated for their artwork.

 

In the last 2 days, I have received phone calls and emails from 2 other recruiters for this position (from the same recruiting company and another recruiting company). The recruiter back in December told me they wanted someone to start around January 15th so it sounds like they are getting desperate to find someone. I'm rather annoyed that one recruiter called me 3 times today (in addition to emailing). I didn't answer the phone any of those times. I told them all (via email) that I'm looking for jobs with a much higher starting salary and thus I am not interested in this position. It's crazy to me the list of requirements that they have, but it's for a masters level scientist. It took me 5 year post PhD to acquire those skills. I'm sure someone out there with a masters has the required experience and skill set, but I think they would have better salary offers than this one.

[annie24]

Ugh, I made another huge mistake at work. It actually happened 2 months ago just figured it out now. Essentially, it's a potentially $10,000 mistake. Long story short, I think I can get it straightened out but I not 100% sure that I can. It's along the lines of finding out I mixed up the order of some samples like: Sample 1 is actually Sample 5, and Sample 5 is sample 1. It's more than a bit frustrating and I had to tell my boss and he was pretty damned angry, as you can imagine. I think I've come up with a system to try to address which samples are mixed up and I think I have another way to test. Another option is to do the entire experiment again, but that's another $10K down the drain. Ugh..... I think I messed up because I was working late at night when I did this and I think I reversed the order of the samples. And now my boss will wonder if I've done this again or since?? I don't think that I have, but now you never know.

[annie24]

It doesn't help that just 2 days ago, a woman I shared my office with was fired on the spot. She was pretty new (started 2 months ago), we have different bosses, and I guess things weren't going so well. I know the details of the story but won't bother writing them out right now. He told her to pack up all her things and leave, so she did and that's that. He's still paying her for the next 3 months which is good so now she can find a new job in this time and hopefully find a better match (sounds like things weren't working out for either of them).

[LAYAAN]

wow! Did she do something professionally that was so serious? or just didn't get along/personal beef? finance problems with the lab?