annie24 Posted January 26, 2017 Author Share Posted January 26, 2017 wow! Did she do something professionally that was so serious? or just didn't get along/personal beef? finance problems with the lab? it sounds like a combination of personality clashes in lab and not making enough progress research wise in her 2 months there. My friend in the lab said that she would ask for help/explanations often, but when it came time to help my friend, she was too busy. That ticked my friend off. Plus her boyfriend is long distance and she seemed to be on the phone with him at lunch chatting often. And she started telling people in the lab she was looking for a new job. It sounded like she wanted her bf to move here but he couldn't find a job. So probably not a good match all in all. And the boss didn't trust her not to ruin anything in lab (either on purpose or accident) if he allowed her to stay in lab while on notice of termination. Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 27, 2017 Author Share Posted January 27, 2017 I have a job interview (phone interview) next week and am going out tomorrow night with a new guy, "Tom." We haven't talked much, he just asked me out after a few emails and I haven't heard much from him since. We'll see how it goes. He has a job and his own apartment. He works remotely a few days a week. If I get the job, I would have to move, but 20 miles away (but it's a hellish commute even though it's technically close on the map to me). We'll see if either pans out. Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 27, 2017 Author Share Posted January 27, 2017 In hair removal news, I've sprouted a few more black chin hairs in the last few years so I'm constantly vigilant about plucking those. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 Which are you rooting for more? ;-) Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 27, 2017 Author Share Posted January 27, 2017 Which are you rooting for more? ;-) Well, not rooting for the chin hairs!!!! I dunno this job seems interesting but it unfortunate that I would have to move to the suburbs. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 Well, not rooting for the chin hairs!!!! I dunno this job seems interesting but it unfortunate that I would have to move to the suburbs. LOL I meant your date! Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 27, 2017 Author Share Posted January 27, 2017 haha, I mean, I am looking forward to it, but don't have my expectations high on any front. My boss didn't strangle me yet, so that's a positive. He was quite pissed at me, understandably, I would be too in his position and I am mortified. I am almost done sorting out the data problem so hopefully that will be solved soon I hope. Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 27, 2017 Author Share Posted January 27, 2017 I went out over the summer twice with this guy R. I didn't want to see him again because I had a weird feeling about him. He tried to kiss me when I really wasn't having it. Then he said I should not worry because there is "only goodness in his heart." So, recently, he showed up on my Facebook as a "person you may know." Except it had a different name than a the one he gave me. He gave me a more western sounding name, but the one on his Facebook page was more middle eastern. But I thought it was weird that he never told me his real name on our date. I dunno, just talking out loud here. Like, it's a bit weird. Link to comment
faraday Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 A lot of people give out westernized versions of their name. He probably keeps his real name for fb for friends from home and family...and adds people in real life after they get to know him a bit. Idk, I've dated several middle eastern guys and they all rolled like that. I think it's just easier after a date or two to not have to explain how to pronounce your name. Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 28, 2017 Author Share Posted January 28, 2017 Tom and I had a pretty awesome date. We just really hit it off. Though we met on tinder, he found me today on Okcupid and we talked about the questions we had in common and disagreed with. And then we drank a lot and I went to his place for a while which was really fun. he got out of a long term relationship 6 weeks ago. Though he says he's ready to move on because he said the last 2 years have not been good. So yeah, we'll probably see each other next weekend. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 Tom and I had a pretty awesome date. We just really hit it off. Though we met on tinder, he found me today on Okcupid and we talked about the questions we had in common and disagreed with. And then we drank a lot and I went to his place for a while which was really fun. he got out of a long term relationship 6 weeks ago. Though he says he's ready to move on because he said the last 2 years have not been good. So yeah, we'll probably see each other next weekend. Great - nice way to start the weekend. Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 28, 2017 Author Share Posted January 28, 2017 I'm smitten. He said that last night was a "slice of heaven" lol. Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 30, 2017 Author Share Posted January 30, 2017 I'm super trying to restrain myself from texting nonstop. I am really looking forward to seeing him again. We texted a bit on Saturday. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 I'm super trying to restrain myself from texting nonstop. I am really looking forward to seeing him again. We texted a bit on Saturday. Retraint will serve you well -rooting for you to take the disciplined approach! Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 30, 2017 Author Share Posted January 30, 2017 Yeah, Tom is great. He's 41 but looks really young. He's super funny outgoing. He's a computer nerd. We had a ton to talk about. We both definitely drank too much. We were just having fun and not really thinking about the consequences the next day. It was a 10 hour date, lol. Link to comment
WithLove Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 Did you sleep with him? Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 30, 2017 Author Share Posted January 30, 2017 No we didn't but almost. Link to comment
sophie274 Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 Tom and Annie sitting in a tree ... Glad you had a good date! Hope you get to see him again! Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 30, 2017 Author Share Posted January 30, 2017 Yeah hehehe. We said we would meet up over the weekend but didn't make any specific plans yet. I asked why why he and his ex broke up, he said that they were together for a decade but the last few years were not good. He said she never wanted to have sex and it's something he wants daily. He said they went to therapy for a while but weren't able to work things out. She's moving out this week apparently. When I went to his place, there were boxes everywhere. She was out of town at her parents' place. He's staying until their lease is up in 6 months. She's taking the cat and I think he's pretty sad about that. As we were sitting on the couch, the cat comes up to me and starts rubbing his cheeks in the corner of my glasses. Then my eyes were red the next day. Link to comment
notalady Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 Sounds like all is going well, although I would say go veeeeery slowly, considering he is literally just out of a decade long relationship. And the ex is not even out of the house yet. Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 30, 2017 Author Share Posted January 30, 2017 Yeah - I asked him after he told me that if he is ready to date and he said yes, the relationship has been like roommates for 2 years now. But I hear you - he might enjoy 4-5 dates with me and decide that he wants to keep his options open for a while. Then again, I've know people jump into serious relationships not long after a breakup. I'm trying to think in my head to keep expectations low but just try to relax and have fun. He has said that he does want to settle down, but is not going to go out and buy a ring soon, which I totally agreed with. Link to comment
notalady Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 Yeah - I asked him after he told me that if he is ready to date and he said yes, the relationship has been like roommates for 2 years now. But I hear you - he might enjoy 4-5 dates with me and decide that he wants to keep his options open for a while. Then again, I've know people jump into serious relationships not long after a breakup. I'm trying to think in my head to keep expectations low but just try to relax and have fun. He has said that he does want to settle down, but is not going to go out and buy a ring soon, which I totally agreed with. That's the same thing my ex said to me when we started dating, he was 6 months out of a 7 year relationship. So I believed him, while still being cautious of course. And once things got more serious 2-3 months in (exclusivity, saying I love you etc) he started withdrawing, going hot and cold. And continually denied it when I said maybe he's just not over his last relationship. Only at the final break up, he admitted that he was having flashbacks of bad times with his ex when I was staying over for a weekend, I suppose it was more domestic and triggered his memories of his life living with the ex. He completely freaked out and said he can't do this. I decided to end it then, but he didn't give up even after that. It was just hot and cold, all over the place. I believe that he genuinely thought he was ready to date again. I also believe that he genuinely wanted to settle down, in fact, too much so, he was approaching 40 and feeling his biological clock ticking, feeling like he can't waste more time to be alone, that he should be finding someone asap, after having "wasted" 7 years on a failed relationship. He talked about marriage and future plans quite often. It appeared like he was serious about it all, but in hindsight, it was a sign that he was in too much of a hurry and wasn't actually focussed on getting to know each other and assessing if we're even right for each other. I think WithLove has a similar story with her ex who just got out of a long term relationship and we all told her not to proceed at the time. Not saying this is your guy, but just a cautionary tale that you can't take someone's word for what it is, and need to be really careful with dating someone just out of a LTR. Of course, I met my current boyfriend online only a couple of weeks after breaking up with the ex, and met in person a couple of weeks after that. So that was pretty soon. Now we've been together more than 1.5 years and I couldn't be happier. So it is definitely case by case. But I can't say I was all that emotionally invested in the ex and it was only 6 months, so that helped me get over him quickly. Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 31, 2017 Author Share Posted January 31, 2017 ^^ Yes, I think that is quite possible. or he's over her completely. or isn't ready for some other reason. Who knows. I guess I have to be patient. I'm making myself go on dating sites to continue communicating with other men so I don't get too hung up on Tom. I definitely get attached too quickly, I need to learn how to stop that and let things unfold. I mean, of course, I wouldn't do something like date him for 6 months without getting clarification on "what are we?" but yeah, I really want to try to be patient and get to know him and keep my eyes open for red flags. Link to comment
annie24 Posted February 2, 2017 Author Share Posted February 2, 2017 Tom and I are going out tomorrow and I am super excited!!!! Link to comment
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