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February

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Everything posted by February

  1. February
    Wow, well I sure have missed alot going MIA for about a week. SO much to catch up on. ANyway, G first off, good for you and your little escapade to France. I am jealous jealous jealous, love France, the French and all the lovely decadence there (including the men). What a way to take your mind off your ex. SH, sounds like things are going really well for you, all these possiblities, the unicorn the Canadian chicky, etc. Sounds like you are a definitely a hot Texan, Woo HOO-love those Southern gents!!! Have fun and enjoy all the attention you deserve it!!! Dikaia, sound like yoiur spirits are on the up and up. You are young and like you said, it is a great time to be alive, don;t let other opp's slip you by b/c of your ex. I realize the older I get just how importnant time really is and it is on your side my friend. KAthyK, good luck in surgery. I will be thinking about you as well wishing you luck. As for me, all, things are going great. Totally over the ex. Seriously am, think it was a lucky thing to happen b/c since then have met a few exciting men defintely more my speed then my wimpy ex (who btw is still fretting and emailing me his sob story-blah blah) I have no patience for it anymore "Cry me a river" to quote lyrics per the earlier convo I MISSED as well. Hope you all are doing well today. -Feb
  2. February
    HI I would call him and ask him he he wants to hang out sometime. It sounds like the game playing is from both sides. He sounds like a pretty cool guy though and I think he felt you may be blowing him off a bit. Be upfront and honest with him and yourself. You have nothing to lose at this point calling him to make plans. Worst case scenerio he says no or doesn't pick up and never call you back but so what? No big deal. The you tried and you then know he blew you off, but at this point you don't know. So be confident and call him, especially if you do think he is cool.
  3. February
    Hi I would call him and ask him he he wants to hang out sometime. It sounds like the game playing is from both sides. He sounds like a pretty cool guy though and I think he felt you may be blowing him off a bit. Be upfront and honest with him and yourself. You have nothing to lose at this point calling him to make plans. Worst case scenerio he says no or doesn't pick up and never call you back but so what? No big deal. The you tried and you then know he blew you off, but at this point you don't know. So be confident and call him, especially if you do think he is cool.
  4. February
    Hi. I am sorry that happened to you. You say she has a boyfriend? Well WTF is she kissing other people then? I think this girl sounds like she definitely had a little crush on you too and wants to have her cake and eat it too, meaning her bf. You are right a nice girl would not do that. The times in my life I have done foolish things like this is when I was immature, a little insecure and wanted attention. I think the best way to handle this is to back off of her not ignore her but be short and don;t give her the time of day. This will get under her skin for sure and I am sure she will track you down at some point to get your story for the colder shoulder treatment. Big the bigger person in the situation (especially since you work together) and just be cordial and brief. Do not let her know she hurt you. WHy give her the satisfaction. If she is nice, she will prove it to you now.
  5. February
    G, Wow!! I am amazed by how much ablls you have!! Holy crap. I aspire to be that ballsy someday. Damn!!! I think that ou should be very proud of yourself and how things are going. G, you are rational and independent and have know the reality of the situation. You know you can live without M. But you are making a choice to live how you want to live. Games aside. You know that this man may never return to you as you wish him too. But you also know it is a possibility and in the meantime you are living how for yourself. You are strong (stronger than him) and you can be there for him w;/o jepordizing yourself. So BRAVO. I think your retreating for awhile is a fantastic plan. But G, what is up with this guy, what is he depressed about? I mean what are his issues really? Any ideas?
  6. February
    Yes, today was a very eventful one indeed. So, I am out for the night G et al. Have a good one.
  7. February
    OMD I missed alot, sorry all went to do some work over here, ya know the job.... G, I CAN NOT WAIT FOR YOU TO VISIT!!! BTW you will never guess what song is playing over here a coworker is listening too, "We don;t have to take our clothes off..." Clearly G that is neither yours or my theme song. We actually believe the oppostie huh!! Ha ha. I am so happy you are in good spirits G. Your message back to him was perfect too. He has to be wondering what you are thinking of him. What an a%& I am pissed at him but no worries I am accross the ocean soo... He is going to be crawlign back though G if he doesn't hear from you now for awhile. SO glad you sent that message though b/c he now knows you are much bigger (only meant in the emotional sense and more fabulous) than him. How is the wine?
  8. February
    Oh my goodness ya'll, I missed alot!!!! G, I think you responded famously to his IM and now I agree with Beec that you should not respond. Let him come to you. Oh and he will G. I am sure of it. he is going to feel like an a%&hole for a bit and then will want to see you. But I find it odd he didn't want to meet up. Maybe b/c it was not on his terms. You set it up and picked the moving and subconsciously he decided he wasn't into it. Also full heartedly agree with the dating again thing. You most certainly should. You need a little bit of TLC from some other British hotties. How do you feel about a torrid affair with a younger man. One that doesn't conk out before 9 on a Thursday. So...G, good show today. I am bummed, but his excuse was lame. Boy is he moody huh?
  9. February
    Hello boys, DEtox your situation sounds a bit like mine too, friends first (3 yrs) together 4 months, he had issues to work out too. If I were you I would give it time. I know in my case my ex thought I was the best girl he ever met, yes he freaked out but our friendship at one point meant alot to him, so I doubt he is going to give it up so quickly. Niether will your ex. Let her sort out her life and have time to miss you. Gotta say I am bad at the no contact too. I let him know we could be friends still. But all the contact we have had has pretty much been iniated by me. He is very self absorbed right now. So, I am casually emailing every week or so, just to check in but don;t think I will do much more than that. The rest is up to him and his screwed up head. Let her be a bit. I think you will be amazed how much better you feel and how much perspective it gives you.
  10. February
    Fantastic G, Do you realize that you have started a little "Breaking the Rules" clique on this site? It is hysterical. With your success and with Beec's help, we are all taking a very different approach-I would like to hereby dub it the "Confidence Approach" We all know that at one time these ex's adored us. Worshipped the grond we walked on...so...what are we going to do? Whatever it takes to get that back. Some NC sprinkled with coy little notes and messages followed by delicious meetings where we look HOT and act flirty and confident - simply irrestible. So glad you had a great day G. Fabulous!! I agree his note was flirty and insinuating something So what's the news with the rest of you folks? I am home tonight b/c I have to get up early soooo...spill.
  11. February
    WEll Guys and gals, G's approach seems to be the best one for me as well. My ex emailed me earlier this week. I waited an appropriate 2 and half days and emailed him back this morn' No more than 10 mintues later got a reply. Very nice, very cordial...blah blah, geniunely asked about me, which is something he never did right after we broke up. Ended his email w/ "God, got to get back to work, I'll write more later." So...did not email him back. I did send hima funny forward that I sent to all my friends, but I don't think that counts. It will jsut put in his mind oh...I should email her back again. Well, don;t anticiapte getting another email today. But will wait to see if by next Wed. nothin' then I will email him back. But good news ya'll!!!! I am slowing getting cotnact back (at least that is what seems to be happening.) If his effort level continues to rise, I may where G is, coffee and air kisses. YEAH!!! Ta ta for now.
  12. February
    Oh Strong you are the best!!! Actually he never really saw me down and out..I always make sure I look fabulous when I saw him and when we chatted on email I am my ol' self. Even through out breakup I was not acting really hurt or too upset. Of course he knew I was but it was not outa control. This man is a very tough case Strong1. Similar to yours but more extreme. He is working himself out of being a codependent person right now. His ex and his relationship was a mess. And right now his focus is 100% on fixing himself and repairing their friendship. Which I 100% fully support and think is fantastic. But in the process he has pushed away the VERY best girl he will ever meet (ya see I still have my confidence-I know how fab I am not in a prissy way but even after our breakup I know it had little to do with me.) Anyway, what I want is for him to bend over backwards at soem point begging for me back. Now, I know to get this I need to reestablish the friendship and I am trying to, will email back tmrw, then wait a week or so email again then maybe mis it up and call...but regardless I know his heart has to chane a bit and time will only tell if it will. But any advice/tactics to make the process faster or that would work better please I am all ears. Additionally Strong1 question for you in your case and in mine, do you think if we backed off completely these men would come a knocking? I think mine is a coward but ...what is your opinion?
  13. February
    Lostinvan, I will check you latest too, I need to get caught up on your postings first... Strong1 as for me, well the latest is-he emailed me on Tuesday, replying to my reply to him from last week. He replied after I tried to recall it. So...who knows if it was that or b/c he just thought I haven;t emailed her back yet. He too like your ex is consumed in the problems in his life-spaced out to say the least. he has ex issues too. I know I was his favorite gf and favorite closest person to him but he couldn't deal witha relationship right now, plus he wants to feel like he has been on his own first before he gets into another long-term thing. Anyway, he said he wanted to be friends, but has made very little effort. Broken up almost 5 weeks now. Does he miss me? I am sure. Does he want me back? Doubt he even knows. So, I am gong to email him back tmrw, breezy and nice. See if he emails me back next week. If he doesn't, I will wait the week and email him again the week after. Trying to get contact back slowly. If after that he doesn't respond may wait like a month before trying contact again. (BTW we were friends first too) Beec and Strong1, et al, I have a question for you if you are reading this...is my tactic right? Slowly get back into contact? Do ya think my case is a lost cause? I know this man might take a LONG time to be ready for soemthing again-he has alot of issues. But fromyour expereince do you think when he is he will look to the girl he adored EVERYTHING about to the point it freaked him out, or when the time is right go for whomever is there since he has done that before too? Thx, sorry Strong 1 to post in your post...
  14. February
    Strong1, That is amazing!!! Fabulous!! Yup, Strong1 it is going to take a bit longer but things are going so well. Good you tried to leave. Perfect. And how funny is that, that he kepttrying to get you to stay longer. Now when you get back from your trip if he doesn;t call you/email, call him. I think getting together over drinks to show him pics etc. would be great. But let's figure out how to do that when you get back. Strong 1 have a fantastic trip and while you're away think a little about what you want. If this man continues like this freaks out/ wants you back for another couple months-a year. Are you willing to put up with it? You need to get him to trust you whole heartedly and he will be yours, but that is going to take a bit of time. Think about if this is waht you really want. If it is, I think we can most certainly help you get what you want. HIM. Yeah Strong 1 what a good day!!! I hope to have some stories too when you get back...
  15. February
    Well Strong, What the f' happened? Was he there? I am dying to know. I bet he was wasn't he? Ha ha, did you tell him how excited you are for your vacation (btw w/o him). If he wasn't there, I would not take it as a bad sign though either. But if I know your ex right, he was. So....we are all ears. (I hope I am not wrong...) If he was not there, no worries, means nothing. He might be in his avoiding stage right now which means even more how great this vaca is for you.
  16. February
    So, G as I siad, BRAVO. I think thigs went well. So what you seemed tired and a bit off. No worries. He has no idea why. He is making an effort and playing the game well too. Now we have to come up w/ the gameplan for the movie night....let him call you to confirm. It is on baby!!! I am very excited. Today was the contact of the exes day I guess...my emailed me too. WTF is right!!!! I am not emailing back the pansy until Friday. Ha ha let him stew. Doubt either yours or mine really is ready yet but the game is on G and WE will win b/c we are smarter and now stronger-we had our hearts broken so we are cautious too.
  17. February
    G I am posting a pm to ya now....
  18. February
    Strong1, I tried to send yoiu a pm but I am having internet issues right now, so check later. But for now... If you are feelign strong, I would ask for the cord you need for your trip (btw going anywhere fabulous?) and then if he invites you in, tell him actually you have to run. This plan will also work for you if he says he will leave it outside, I would then say that works out perfect b/c you are in a bit of a hurry. I think b/c his singles are mixed, you should send him ixed right now too. If I were you I would back off for awhile after you meet up tongiht and see what happens-like 2 weeks? You have your vaca and all. Let him stew w/o you a bit. You have always been very supportive and heard all his news, now back off for a bit and see. Whatcha think? As with me, oh Strong1 life is so funny, my ex emailed me this morning. Not sure if it was b/c I recalled the message or not, but regardless he replied to my reply to him and was nice and breezy. I am going to wait until Friday now to respond and say I have been swamped too. I know if I wait longer than that he will think I am mad at him. Then I will wait and see if he responds next week. If not I will email him the following adn try to get an email correspondence back for now. Then we shall see...who knows. But with this man and I think yours, we can;t ignore them when they contact us, they are too fragile for that. They need some ego rubbing. But at the same time we shold no longer be push overs or be so available. I am certain both you and I will be posting success stories one day (or they will be writing on here how they lost us and now want us back ha ha).
  19. February
    May55 You are right. It is their problem. It is kinda funny if you think about it in the big scheme of things. We should not feel rejected but wonder more what thier serious issues are that they are incapable of just being a bigger person and acting like adults. In my head I know I am much better off without my ex, and I am trying to get that message accross to my heart. It takes time but I know I can do it. They aren't worth our time or all our thoughts. If they wake up and realize someday they were completely wrong, and that they pushed off their feeligns and avoided us, etc. well then we are better off w/o them--people who are capable of acting that way are capable of doing it again. Their are alot of better more true people (like us) out there.
  20. February
    Spatz, Don't jump to any conclusions yet. That is weird, but maybe she lost her phone and canceled her number and is still workign through the problems. Does she have a work number or something you could call to check in with her? Maybe a mutual friend you ask out of concern?
  21. February
    Guys, Quick question, I know you all are into the mixing up the NC with contact, what if they don't get back to you. That is what happened to me, and now I feel like a jacka%&. Now I can't contact again, and frankly and pissed so I won't. But in terms of the games, I don't they always work. Beec, G, Spatz, am I wrong? It has been over a week and he never emailed me back. Then b/c I got annoyed I tried to recall the message (G knows this pathetic story) anyway now he knows I tried to recall the message and STILL never got back to me. Is it possible that if I NEVER contact him again he won't EVEr contact me? That seems completely insane to me. How could somebody do that? So guys my question-if I now do NC no matter what in no way is it possible that, that will be that? I don't think the games have work for me. Help ya'll I am forlorn!!!!!!
  22. February
    Lis, Don't feel bad, I did something ALOT more stupid and now feel just as bad as you. YUCK. This is kinda funny though, maybe it will lift your spirits (I actually wasn't going to post this, but for the humor and the lession here goes...) So my ex emailed me last Monday asking how my wknd was etc. Was a nice email, well I waited a day and then broke out rules and emailed back, a cute nice email, breezy etc. Well he NEVER emailed back so I felt crappy so this Monday I thought, why should he be the last to hear from me? So I recaled the message, well I thought that wold delete it butya know what that does? It tells the person you want to recall the message. SH&%!!!! I didn't realize it until I got his out of office reply in his email. Yikes. And the worst thing is he didn't respond after that either. I thought that if he saw that he might think "what the?" and then email me back. But no, nada, zilch. So now, HE knows I wanted to recall the message. You gotta admit that is kinda funny and pretty bad. At least you just sent him something you sent to everyone. Mine was a "I am recalling the email I sent to you b/c you didn't email me back"...that is bad. Feel any better?
  23. February
    Hey all, Myjoy I have done alot of thinking in the past couple days and totally agree with you. I think in almost all cases No Contact is the best and only thing we can do. They will come back on their own accord if that is the way their heart feels. I mean us trying to play games only prolongs our getting on with our lives-we should NOT be thinking about them at all. They right now, obviously are not thinking about us. The reason I had this change of heart is b/c I thought to myself, I have been broken up for 1 month and for the first two we contacted each other, and now nothing-I was the last to try...and now nothing nada. And I realize now that his man knows me, he knows I still care or at least want to be friends and if he is not making any effort it is b/c right now he does not care about me or my feelings so why the HELL would I want to think about a man who does not think about me. And now I too am taking the pesimistic cord-He is NOT coming back EVER. So...there are alot of other fish in the sea. They chose to break up with us right-for whatever reason and most of them are dumb a%*es and will realize it one day, but why wait around?
  24. February
    I agree Strong 1. I have a feelign that the contact thing like Dan did may work better for guys. Not sure, but the way guys deny their emotions etc. I think it may take them longer to really miss us and address their emotions. Women on the other hand we think over decisions, mull, etc. So if we are having second thoughts and our ex swoops in and is totally different than the person we broke up with, we many time will reconsider-or at least think about it. Not sure about guys though. Gents? Any comments? Peanut gallery? Advice?
  25. February
    Strong 1, your advice has been very helpful to many of us. I posted a pm to you.
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