mick8888

I'm right there with you -- I just had my suspicions confirmed by my ex-girlfriend two weeks ago that she's very much in love with a new guy, they've been together several months now ... it was a very hard thing to hear (he's the first guy she's been with since dumping me -- we broke up for good last year after about 3 years together) and after spending several months trying to heal my wounds and feeling better, it brought me all the way back to square one and i've not slept for much of the past two weeks because all i can think about is them having sex, or just being close and intimate and in love like she and i used to be. it's incredibly hard, and it takes every ounce of energy i have to push it out of my mind. i've decided that the only way to get through this is to cut off contact with her completely, and probably forever. i don't want to know any more about it, and i just don't want her in my life right now because she is the source of a great amount of pain for me. she's not a horrible person, she's only trying to make herself happy (which i can't fault her for) but i have to look out for myself, too. i think the only real thing you can do right now is cut the guy off completely, just erase him from your life, and with a little passage of time you'll pretty much be forced to fill that void with something else (something *positive* tho, like work or fitness or friends, as opposed to alcohol or drugs or something) until it becomes second nature and you realize one day you're not hurting as much as you were. i'm no expert, and i'm going through it exactly as you are now, so hopefully that makes you feel better that there are tons of people feeling exactly like you are right now, and that it will get better if you just start being a little bit selfish and focusing on your own happiness and future, which will be bright. good luck!

i've been going through the same thing for a year and a half, and i could have saved myself a lot of trouble and misery if i had accepted from the start that it was over for good. instead, i've wasted a LOT of time holding onto the fantasy that we would get back together. i know this isn't what you want to hear, but it sounds like it's over. you're gonna have to accept that and move on. don't think he's going to come back because the chances are, he won't. this isn't out of bitterness, it's just the truth. you're gonna need to find a way to heal and move on with things instead of holding out hope for something that's very likely ruined. i'm sorry, i really am, because i know exactly how you're feeling right now. the only thing that can make it better is acceptance and time.

i know what you mean. as bad as i feel for thinking it, because deep down i do care about my ex and want her to be happy, i'm pretty certain she hasn't resolved any of her issues and thus the new guy gets the gift of all her problems and craziness that she used to give to me. so in a way it balances out the fact that he gets to sleep with her now. it's natural to think that your ex's are sooo much happier with their new mate than they were with you, and i'm sure that at the beginning they feel that magical "new love" thing, but then the honeymoon is over and their true selves come out and they inflict the same pain on others that they did with us. so i guess a year or two from now, if not sooner, her new guy will be in the same place as i am now, and she'll be back to square one, and hopefully i will have had enough time to heal and i'll end up being the happiest of the three of us. i know i shouldn't concern myself with her and her relationship, but sometimes you need these kinds of thoughts to give yourself a little bit of comfort, like when you're laying there in the dark, unable to sleep because you're thinking about her with someone else.

yeah, it took me a little while to really admit to myself and accept that i stayed in this relationship for mainly physical reasons. i think that if i'm being totaly honest with myself, my line of thinking was basically: okay, this girl is absolutely beautiful, the most beautiful girl i've ever been in a relationship, the sex is amazing, she's into cool music and is creative and we have this special connection, and yet even though she's got these issues and can be selfish and irresponsible etc., that can all be worked out over time or she'll grow beyond that stuff as she gets older. that last italicized part is the kicker, because i see now that she hasn't changed, and it's highly unlikely she ever will, and you can't hope or expect people will defy the patterns and habits they've established for themselves, and even love and a strong bond can't change that. i have no doubt she loved me at some point, but all that other stuff was too hard to overcome, and i really should have seen it coming. i mean, i knew about her past couple of relationships and how they ended (essentially the same way as ours, although she hates her previous ex's and still wants to be friends with me). i also know that she can't keep a job for any length of time, didn't stay in college, can't see any project or idea through to completion, etc. those things were absolute signs that we wouldn't stick together, and yet i kept fooling myself into thinking it would work out, and much of that was because i didn't wanna let go of this girl i thought was so beautiful and ideal. now i know better. it doesn't make the pain go away entirely, not by any means, BUT it does feel a bit better putting it in perspective and understanding that there is so much more i need from a relationship. sure, i want to be with a beautiful woman, who doesn't? but when the rest is rough and frustrating, that doesn't make up for it. i think that when i improve myself physically (i'm not a TROLL, but i'm not happy with my appearance, mostly weight-related) and perhaps get more attention from women, it will make me understand even more that i was in this for the wrong reasons. there are attractive women out there who are cool and well-adjusted and better relationship material who i'm bound to meet sooner or later. i'm confident about myself in other ways, so i think it will all work out for the best in the long run. it's hard now, because i do miss the little things about my ex, too -- she could be very sweet and funny and such, but when things were bad, oh maaaaaaan they were bad. so i always have to keep that in mind. anyways, i'm up at almost 5 a.m. right now because i'm heading to the gym in about an hour -- starting my new fitness program today, the first day on my road to improving myself and trying to match what i am on the outside with what i am on the inside. i've been down in the dumps for so long, and now i'm finally seeing and understanding things -- where i've been, how i've felt, and what i need to do. it's not easy to be totally honest with yourself and really admit to yourself how you felt and what your mistakes were, but that's part of the process and hopefully it gets better from here. if anyone is reading this right now and feeling bad about their own similar situation, trust me, i've felt as low or lower than you do, and it's getting better bit by bit, and in the long run will be one of the best things that happens to me.[/i]

so i'm having my good days and bad days, but this weekend has been a good one, with a fair amount of soul-searching, and i've really come to the realization that the things i mainly miss about my ex are the physical ones (essentially that she's very beautiful and the sex was dynamic). she's a fun person sometimes, and into cool stuff, but personality-wise the mood swings and the selfishness and the lack of responsibility and some of the other things outweighed that. and yet even though all of those things made themselves evident in the relationship somewhat early on, i stayed anyways, until she dumped me. i shouldn't have been surprised that that happened, and in all honesty the relationship should have ended sooner than the approximately 2.5 years it lasted, but i see now, crystal clear, that i was hanging onto her because she made me feel better about myself in that i was like, "wow, a really attractive woman is in love with me and wants me, and it will never get this good again ..." i know that seems shallow, but i definitely have self-esteem/confidence issues, and when someone who is practically the girl of your dreams wants to be with you, you can't help but feel a lot better about yourself. and then, of course, after she dumped me i started feeling like i was no good again. and now that she's with someone else, for a little bit there i was thinking, "well, i'm sure she's found someone way more handsome, in better shape, etc. etc." and feeling really jealous and awful. but now i'm really understanding that i need to take care of myself, hit the gym and get back in shape, and just build up my confidence from within ... that's the only way to have a healthy relationship that's based on so many things. i'm not saying i only loved her for her looks, there are good things about her beyond that that i was initially attracted to, but i think in being honest with myself that's the main thing that i am feeling bad about at the moment. and now that i've realized that that is NOT something worth holding on to pain and misery about, it's making me feel a lot better. looks and sex are only a part of the equation, and when there's other problems in the relationship, those two things cannot save it or outweigh those issues. anyways, does this all make sense? has anyone gone through this and can relate to my thought process tonight?

hi, i am in the same place as you are right now, and i feel your pain, believe me. i just found out yesterday from my ex-gf, who i lived with for a couple years and who dumped me in late-2003 (though we didn't have a clean break, occasionally sleeping together and such until sept. 2004), that she's been seeing this guy for the past 7 months and is really in love, and she's flying to los angeles today to stay with him for a month or two (they met online, he's come up here to washington state to visit a bunch of times already). in some ways it was a stake through my heart, because i'd been living with this tiny glimmer of hope for a reconciliation all this time, and she made it clear in no uncertain terms that while she cares about me very much, she has zero feelings for me in a romantic way anymore and is with someone else she is into very much. it hurt, but it was also good to hear because it was really the end of it, and now i can at least start to fully accept that and move on. it's really depressing sometimes, because it's really just so hard to believe that you can share this amazingly tight and special bond with someone at one point, and then at another point it is completely gone, and you can't wrap your head around how that can happen, how people change or lose their feelings for you. but it happens, and eventually i suppose you get over it and move on. the thing is, i've been torturing myself with thoughts of, like, god how am i gonna feel when she finds someone else, how am i gonna feel knowing she's sleeping with another guy, etc. but now that's all happened, so i guess i can move past the dread of the "what ifs" ... in a way, it's easier.

well

i'd been with this girl since the beginning of 2000, broke up in 2003 but then hooked up on and off for most of 2004 ... so we had a pretty long relationship, and we had a really really tight bond for a while there, she still says i'm practically the best person she knows and that i've always been there for her, but when i saw her the other day (for the first time in 5 months) there was a little bit of that awkwardness there, and i could really sense that she looked at me as strictly a friend and not any kind of a love interest, and that was like a dagger in my heart. i was thinking that that's just because she has a new guy she is into, but if he screws her over or she wakes up and realizes what we had, maybe she'll come back. i'm not sure whether or not i'll want her back if that happens, but right now it hurts as hell that she's with someone else and that she's rejected me.

i try to keep busy with work and hobbies to get my mind off it, but it doesn't work. she is always there in my mind, especially when i am trying to sleep at night and when i wake up, and i keep thinking about this new guy she's met and how happy she must be and how into him she is (because i think back to how we were when we first met, and that must be what she is experiencing with him now), and it KILLS ME. i'm hurt that she rejected me, that she would pick someone else over me, and that she doesn't feel the same way for me that she used to. i know this is reality and i have to accept it, but it's just so hard, and i can't seem to move on. i've been telling myself that sooner or later she will come to her senses and realize that i was the best thing for her, but i'm seeing that that's not happening and probably never will, but i keep hoping it might. it's horrible. i just can't seem to distract myself from it by doing other things, it's a dark cloud hanging over me no matter what.

Let's say you get dumped, you initiate the no-contact rule, and then let's say after a few months of that you come to find out that the girl that dumped you is with someone new and is head over heels for that person. Is that pretty much the end of hope that you'll ever get back together? It seems like once they dump you they mostly disconnect from you, but there might be *SOME* shred of missing you or wondering if they made the right choice, but then once they find someone new, then the person they dumped is way in the rear-view mirror and it's done forever. Is that pretty much how it works? Anyone have any experiences to the contrary?

but it's been more than a year and a half and it still hurts like hell...

A little bit of background -- my girlfriend of 2.5 years (living together for 1.5 years) broke up with me in August of 2003. Still lived together tho until January of 2004, when she moved out (yes, it was a rough 5 months, living together and being broken up). Through most of 2004, at least up until November or so, we would occasionally hook up -- basically every 2 months or so we'd have sex for a couple days, and sorta have a friendship, and then we'd go back to not really hanging out or talking ... so that was dragging out the healing process for me, because even though she was never talking about getting back together, the fact that we were occasionally intimate I guess gave me some sort of hope. Anyways, that stopped in November, and then we didn't see each other or even really talk (except for the occasional instant message) until just last week, when she came by to drop off a birthday card for me. That five months or so was good because it was kind of an "outta sight, outta mind" situation for me, in which I started feeling a little better about the breakup, and feeling like I could finally get over it. But seeing her a couple days ago brought back a rush of feelings, and though she didn't tell me herself, I found out through a mutual friend that she's fallen in love with someone over the Internet, and I'm not entirely sure but I think she may have flown out to visit him for the first time this weekend. Now none of that wouldn't matter if I was over her, but obviously I'm not because I've been pretty upset and feeling lonely and crappy the past couple of days, like I've gone all the way back to 2003 and the day we broke up. I haven't even dated anyone since that breakup and I don't really have the confidence to put myself out there on the dating scene right now, and I don't have any close friends to talk to about this, really (I moved accross the country to live with my ex, and I haven't made many other connections since being here for 3 years, and since the breakup I've practically become a hermit). HOW CAN I BUST OUT OF THIS RUT AND START FEELING BETTER? The pain just doesn't seem to be going away ...

Okay here's what happened: I met this girl "online" at a very popular social networking site (link removed). She lives in the same town as me, and is approximately the same age (early 30's). Neither one of us was on the site with the express purpose of dating or "hooking up" or anything like that. I messaged her because she likes some of the same bands I like and we just started swapping messages in mid-December, and then instant messaging, and then as of about 2.5 weeks ago, talking on the phone. We started talking on the phone a lot, almost every day, and then this past Wednesday we met up for coffee and hung out for a couple hours, had good conversation and lots of laughs. And then tonight she came over and hung out at my apartment for a few hours and played with my dog and we watched a movie and ate chicken wings. But here's the thing -- even though she came over, since meeting me on Wednesday she hasn't really gone out of her way to call or message me like she had before we met, which leads me to believe that when we did meet she didn't really find me attractive or anything. Now, I realize that we didn't meet up as any kind of "date" really, but I think that if she was interested in me in that way that she would have probably shown more interest. I mean, she did come over and hang out, but I didn't get the sense that she was interested in anything more than a friendship. That's not to say that I pushed it or even brought anything like that up, but I definitely definitely find her extremely attractive and am possibly interested in more than a friendship. But don't get me wrong -- if we are just friends it's cool because I really like her as a person, but am I in a situation already where it's completely fallen into the friends zone and is unlikely to be relationship potential? I don't want to push things and alienate her if she's not interested in me in that way, so is the best course of action just to keep hanging out with her as friends?

i really agree with you ... in a past relationship (about 8 years ago) i got dumped by my ex-fiancee after five years together, and after about a month of angry and crying phone calls i did the no contact thing for about 6 months ... then, she called and i talked to her and she was in another relationship and she told me something to the extent of "i thought you would fight to keep me" ... now she's married ... truth of the matter is that now i'm 100% over it and ultimately i'm glad we didn't get married, but still, i do think that sometimes the no-contact thing can have the opposite from the desired effect.

i don't look at her as property at ALL ...i realize she's single and she's allowed to do what she wants, all i'm saying is that the knowledge of that stuff hurts and i wonder how people are able to deal with it or let it go?

Yep ... just talked to my ex-girlfriend today (we talk about once a week or so) and she revealed that she slept with an ex of hers (the guy she dated for a few months right before me) at the end of February. For background, we were together for three years, lived together for 2.5, she was the one who broke up with me, and then she moved out in January, point being that we were exceptionally close for a long time and the breakup is still pretty fresh and painful to me. She explained to me that both she and this guy were really drunk, it lasted for about a minute, she told him to leave afterwards, and she felt like she wanted to puke when he was gone, and knew that what she'd done was self-destructive. Still, hearing about it basically shoved a knife in my heart. There was never anything close to infidelity during our relationship, so this is really the first time I'm confronting the idea that she's slept with someone else since me. I know that we're not together anymore, that it's her life and she can do what she pleases and it's not my business, but it hurts like hell and I'm not sure how to deal with it. I'm not at a point where I want to go out and be with someone else (for one thing, my esteem is kinda in the gutter at the moment), and obviously I still have strong feelings for her ... even though it was, as she put it, completely meaningless and wrong sex, I still can't even think about her being intimate with someone else. Can anyone possibly tell me how to deal with this, to get all of this out of my head? I know that she probably shouldn't have told me, she volunteered it (I didn't ask) but to be honest I had my suspicions because she had mentioned that she had hung out with this guy once or twice, and you know how it is when exes come back into the picture -- there's that comfort-factor that lends itself to sex ... but regardless, I'm having trouble with this one, hurting kinda bad, and anything anyone can suggest would really be appreciated. Thanks!!

well my ex called me this morning (i haven't seen or talked to her in the two weeks since she moved out), and wanted to come by and say hi and see our puppy. i didn't call her back because i've been trying the no-contact thing, but then she came by a couple hours later. i let her in, and she hung out for about half an hour, and in the course of that time we were talking and she was saying that she feels a lot better living on her own and being single, tho she feels guilty about having broken up with me. she said she missed me and wants to be friends and hang out and all of that. of course then i started getting upset and was like, i really miss you and i'm obviously not over you, and that's why i can't be in touch with you. and she hugged me a couple times and was like, i care about you, and i said, i just don't think i'll ever be happy ... argh ... i can't believe i said that. anyways, she left and she's coming over later to watch a movie. she just wants to hang out and be friends, and i'm a wreck and in this moment of weakness i both let her know how miserable i am without her, and that she can hang out with me as "friends" when i really want to be back with her romantically. i pretty much blew it, huh? is there anything i can do to salvage this situation or just let her go forever? i don't see one bit of desire for me on her part, i only see guilt for hurting me and a want to be "just friends." a lost cause, huh?

Can someone please please tell me how not to go completely out of my mind knowing that my ex -- who i was with for 3 years and lived with for more than 2, and who broke up with me and finally moved out a couple weeks ago -- is already into another guy? I've been doing the no-contact thing but I know that she's already got feelings for someone else, and I doubt she's even thinking about me. Knowing that it might be a rebound thing for her doesn't make me feel better, nothing I do -- staying busy with my work, trying to do my own thing -- can keep both the breakup and these jealous feelings out of my head. The only thing that works is going to sleep so that I can forget about it, but then I just dream about the whole situation. It's got me so angry and depressed and sad and jealous -- so not like me, I'm too old to be feeling this way (33) and I've been through other breakups, but this one is killing me. I have some good days, but mostly bad ones. I have no friends because I moved to this city to be with her, and we spent all of our time together. I just don't know what to do. Going out of my mind...sitting here at home bored, sad, depressed, just watching TV on the couch all the time, can't motivate myself to do anything. I feel like every single day is the same, and every day is empty.

Believe you me, I know exactly what you are going through. My ex-girlfriend moved out of our apt. 2 weeks ago (we lived together for 2.5 years and were together for about 3 years, until she broke up with me), and I've seen her twice, both times when she was coming by to pick up more stuff. I haven't had contact with her for about a week now, which is insane because for 3 years I don't think we went more than one day without at least speaking to each other on the phone. It's the hardest thing in the world to do -- she even called a couple times yesterday but didn't leave a message (saw it on the caller ID), and I find myself thinking, oh, she misses me (which I'm sure she does, but only because she wants to stay friends), but in reality she probably just wants to grab the rest of her stuff and see our (now my) puppy. It's amazingly hard to resist the temptation to call her or be in touch, because my inclination is to think she'll forget about me, or think I'm mad at her and then she will never think about coming back. But everyone here and elsewhere says that this is the only way to go about things, that you have to have confidence that they won't forget about you so easy especially if you've spent any amount of time together. It truly messes with your mind, but there's really no other way. The wrinkle in my situation is that I know she recently met some guy online who lives in another city (far enough away where I doubt they will meet in person anytime soon, if ever), but I know she talks to him on the computer and on the phone all the time, so if she's occupied with some new person I doubt she's thinking about me very much. But what can I do? What can you do? We just have to stick to our guns, let time heal the wound, keep busy, and remember that there's a lot more to our lives than a woman who, however "perfect" they might seem to be and no matter how understandable their reasons might be, chose to break it off and not be with us anymore. It's up to us to make our lives happy -- NOT rely on someone else to make us happy.

it's a myth ... if anything, frequent masturbation should help "train" your penis not to blow its load too quickly. plus, they say that as you get older, the more you ejaculate, the lower your chances of getting prostate cancer. If you're thinking about getting busy with your galpal, though, you might want to refrain for a couple of hours before so that you're not too "beat," so to speak. So yank away in peace, bro!

I wonder if anyone has had a similar realization as I am having over the last couple of days. After a long time of being broken up but still living together my ex girlfriend finally moved out on Tuesday. So I've had a few days to reflect on things in total solitude and I'm seeing this: as much as I genuinely do miss her company and the way things used to be when the relationship was good (maybe the first year of our 3 years together), I feel like if she came back to me wanting to get back together I would definitely say no, that I don't want her. I'm wondering if the pain I feel is because I got dumped, because it was a blow to my ego, rather than feeling deeply upset that she is no longer in my life. And that if I found another girl tomorrow I wouldn't miss my ex at all. What does that tell me? Does that make me shallow? Is it that all along I wanted the relationship to end but I didn't have the cajones to end it myself? And since she did, I feel that she has the power over me and that's what hurts? I don't even really feel that jealous over the idea that she could start seeing someone else, because I honestly feel like whoever that guy is would just inherit all of her problems and faults and I feel good about not having to deal with them anymore. i don't know -- am I a horrible person for feeling this way? Am I deluding myself? Is this a natural, normal way to feel after a breakup? It is hard to adjust and I do feel lonely and I genuinely do care about her as a person and there are some parts of her I really do miss. Am I totally over it - no. Do I want her back - no. This is a weird sort of limbo. Anyways, any comments or advice or whatever would be great, and thanks for reading!!

I'm not the biggest Chris Isaak fan, but his 1995 album Forever Blue is a tremendous breakup-related album (he even includes a handwritten note to the woman who dumped him in the liner notes). What's great about it is that the songs go through all the different emotions of a breakup -- bitterness, anger, hope, sadness, relief, regret, self-determination, etc. -- in a real honest way. And the music is pretty moody and compelling too. Old punk rock is really good for getting your mood up -- I HIGHLY recommend the song "Pep Talk" by the Descendents (80s Cali punk band that sang lots of songs about girls), and also the song "She's My Ex" by the band All, which formed from the ashes of the Descendents. Can't go wrong with Black Flag either. Helps get out that aggression. Here's the Pep Talk lyrics: It's not the end of the world Since your baby left you It's gonna be okay You don't need her anyway You're looking around for someone to love So you don't have to face the world alone But give it some time and you might find That you're better off on you own Cause you could be dead right now You could be the stupidest thing in the world But you're not, look at what you've got And stop thinking about that girl You deserve the best, but it's up to you to get it don't settle for less, you know you're gonna regret it It's not the end of the world Since your baby left you It's gonna be okay You don't need her anyway Watching the rube, moping around Might as well be six feet underground You're watching the game go by Waiting for the final score You got the beer commercials memorized So you've probably heard this before But this ain't the TV talking to you It's a friend who's gonna tell you what you can do You deserve the best, but it's up to you to get it don't settle for less, you're the best and don't you forget it I know what you're thinking ... you'll never find another And even if you did, well, you couldn't love her But out there somewhere is the person, place or thing That you need to make you believe in you It's not the end of the world Since your baby left you It's gonna be okay You can find something better anyway Just take your time. and you will find What your life requires Just take your time. and you will find What your heart desires Just take your time. and you will find You will find

my ex girlfriend (we've basically been broken up for 3-4 months but have still been living together) FINALLY found a new apartment today and it looks like she's moving out of here and into there next week. we'd been together for 3 years and living together for about 2.5 years, and ever since all this turmoil started in the fall (she broke up with me) i've been hoping that she would move out. but now that the day is pretty much here, i'm feeling really bad tonight ... she seems so happy to be starting a new life, which i guess is understandable -- it's been pretty stressful living together the past 4 months and being broken up ... but still, the whole thing is really hitting me hard, the finality of it. i KNOW that it's over, there is really no chance of us getting back together, the relationship has run its course. but i'm still not over her in a weird way ... i just really miss when things were good (even though that seems like a LONG time ago), because we had a really tight and special and unique bond, unlike one i've ever had (and i've had a couple long term relationships). i'm just really having a hard time letting go right now, despite all the things i know i need to do (go to the gym, hang with friends, focus on work/hobbies) ... it's just still this dark cloud of sadness and regret hanging over me, basically like someone died -- that's how i view the demise of this relationship -- and i know i can never get back to it. i've been angry for so long -- bitter and resentful at her, but that part of it i'm starting to let go because it's counterproductive, but the sadness and depression remains. maybe just knowing that there are people out there who understand might make me feel better. definitely, reading through all the posts has helped a little bit. but i just need to know what i can do on nights like tonight when these feelings are overwhelming and i cant push them out of my head. should i just go to bed and try to sleep it away? should i just watch tv or read a book? i SO dont feel like going out, and i dont really even have any friends in this town to do that with. i dunno. it's just a real lonely, upsetting existence right now....

i'm hoping you can help me ... i recently broke up with my girlfriend of three years. actually, she broke up with me, just citing the usual old stuff that she's changed and doesn't feel as close to me as she used to and wants to see other people and find out what else is out there for her. she's 24 almost 25, and i am 31. i've been through breakups before but this one has got me so so twisted around. the problem is that i moved all the way accross the country to be with her, and now i'm stuck here with absolutely no friends (since we spent all of our time together), and i've alienated most of my old friends from back home because of it. i don't know where i want to go or what i want to do, if i want to move back to where i'm from or give things a go here. and already she's moving on, starting to see other people while i am usually always just home alone being sad and depressed and not wanting to do anything. i go to the gym sometimes and that helps, but i can't even really get motivated to do that on a regular basis. i don't want to "join a club" or "go to a church" ... i just want to sleep, or lay in bed and stare at the ceiling. i work from home, i don't have a regular job so i'm just totally isolated all the time, i've gotten so used to it that the thought of going out and making friends terrifies me. i feel insecure, shy, unlikeable. i just dont know what to do with myself, i feel like my world is just so small and there's nothing out there for me, nothing that will make me feel better. i know it's probably temporary, like i said i've been through breakups, even ones that were longer relationships, but this one is the worst because i really *believed* in it, i thought we were really going to last because our connection was so special (that's what everyone says, right?). how can i break out of this? i dont have the money to go see a therapist -- thats why i'm here, looking for advice from you guys. how can i bust out of the doldrums before they eat me alive? ANY help/suggestions you can offer would be amazing. thanks for reading.