confused_soul04

yeah, I forgot to add that I start doing the same to them...I pull myself away from the guys I like or act mean to them because I think I will get rejected...I see myself doing this a lot at everything. I don't put myself in situations that I am gonna get hurt. With this guy when he said hi to me at first I blew him off and occasionally when he does say hi or bye I blow him off...I find myself blowing him off all the time. Then afterwards I'm like why do you do this? I can't act truly to him ever, I need to just forget about it. I dunno, could my behavior to these guys make them do the things they do. Do I predetermine all the outcomes from the very beginning with my actions? Kinda confused here!

This guy won't say hi to me or bye to me but he will do it to anyone else. Whenever his friends are around he ignores me and this just recently started he used to say infront of people that we hung out now he won't...he won't say anything I think it's because he thinks people will suspect something. This makes me feel so horrible because when we're alone he treats me so awesome and tells me how great I am. Are some guys just like this in public or is it me? Because he won't say anything to me I feel so stupid for letting it go this far. I am so upset because I feel like I'm an awesome girl and don't understand why people are so embarrassed by saying anything to me in public, when it's only the guys who have feelings towards me that do this everyone else is cool with me. Am I intimidating, or do they just overthink it even though no one would make fun of them for talking to me. The problem is I know that I am too good for this and have other guys but like this individual I feel so wrong for wanting to get away from...I feel like there is another reason why he is doing this and I'm holding on to him. It is so horrible because I feel so bad about making him uspet because whenever I act like I don't like him he gets angry and upset. But he won't say anything and I feel like he is leading me on and it's going no where. I just have this horrible feeling about moving on from him...I've never felt like this before. It is like a guy feeling or a feeling in the back of my head that makes it feel so wrong to move on. I have to get over him though because nothing is happening. What do I do?

I would say just go for it...I think that someone is a little tipsy(lucyintheskywitdiamonds)...there is a time and place for everything i mean if you think it is right...and worth it go for it...don't regret anything!

Ok, I think that you are just letting your mind drift away...I mean you even said it yourself your scared because your only 19 and you CAN see yourself marrying this guy...if it IS too soon for you to be in that kind of relationship I would say take a break from it...I don't really get the whole open-relationship thing I mean if your open your not really in a relationship with him...On the other hand what is soooo good about the dating lifestyle other than hooking up with a new person all the time...that might be what you want...I would say that if your having these feelings go for the break then you'll realize what you truly want. But don't just get out of the relationship unless you are sure of what you want...maybe a week even a DAY away from him will make you realize what a great guy he is and that you want to be with him...or it will make you realize that you want out...It just seems to me that your into the whole being young thing, I mean don't hold yourself out on that now because you'll eventually want to do that and you might be 35 going back into that whole scene. I would live now, before you got too old and are tied down. Hope that was helpful...later

Ok, well recently I have figured out that I have rather nice ta ta's...haha...well I am 17 and I really haven't ever noticed them being nice. I mean they were always big, and my sisters were jealous and used to joke about them all the time. I just always wore baggy clothing. I have started wearing tighter shirts because they look good and are more comfortable with the weather and all. And I have been getting a lot more attention from guys...it really bother me though...I know that tons of girls wish they had boobs like mine, but it just upsets me that people are nicer to me because of them. Here is an example, I go hang out at this mall and always have worn bigger shirts and the guys there treated me like usually but when I go there now in a tight shirt I get all this attention...to me that is FAKE...and I ABSOLUTELY HATE IT! I can't stand being liked for my boobs. I talked to my mom about it, and sadly she has been blessed with a flast chest and told me that I should use them for my advantage...I mean should I? Is it wrong of me to hate being treated special because of my boobs? I don't like it at all when older men look at me and I want to wear huge sweat shirts for the rest of my life...I just hate fake people and I hate that I get attention for that and not "me"...I dunno...I would just like some opinions! THANX!

I think that I have committment problems. I am a 17 female and I make excuses a lot to get out of relationships or try not to start them at all. I have a guy now that really cares about me and I'm pushing him away! I don't mean to I think it is subconscious. I have seen posts on here before about this and I do all the things that they said committment phobes do. I really want to get married someday and I want it to be PERFECT! I want to have a perfect husband and no worries. I don't want to go out with anyone unless I know it will be perfect, but I can't let myself go out with anyone! I don't see how I'm ever going to find anyone if I don't give anyone a chance. I really want to give this guy a chance but I think I messed it up by playing mind games...how do I fix it? But the other problem is in the same token I'm scared to death of being in a serious relationship. I'm afraid every relationship that I jump into will be serious and I have never gotten to that before and I am scared to death of it because I, again, want it to be perfect and I don't know how to do that. How do you get over committment problems? Example: about a year ago I became really close with this guy, we talked on the phone every night for hours. He always hinted around about going out and I hid my feelings...whenever it came close to him asking me out I stopped talking to him in all. I told myself that I didn't want to be with him because "I didn't feel that way towards him". He was an awesome guy and I did have those feelings for him. I pushed him away and he moved on he got a gf and it hurt me...we are actually still friends today and he has gotten over me. We hang out like everyday but it was ruined and we both have moved on. I don't think he feels that way towards me anymore but the thing is I missed something great up because I'm really afraid of being in a relationship. I make up excuses like "we are too good of friends", "long distant relationships don't work" or "it would never work out between us". I don't want to do this with anyone else. Whenever I realize that a guy likes me back I stop liking him...but when he stops liking me I want him back. It's horrible I feel like a two year old! I also seem to "like" guys that I think don't like me and never will. I mean I think that I do it so I don't even have to try but I'm liking someone, and its something to do. I mean all of my friends get mad when I talk about guys period because they know that I never will do anything about it. They know that I could get a bf but I won't initiate anything with the guys I like. I just really like this one guy now and I don't want to mess it up anymore...what can I do to get over this? What if I keep missing great things? HELP!

I am just really confused right now. Why do we often treat the people we love the worst? I mean I do it myself whenever I can, I find things to hurt the people I love and care about. Like when they make me mad I do stuff that I know will hurt them. Even if I don't have a reason I do sometimes. It's not all the time, I'm not cruel...lol but why do I do this? I mean is it immature of me or am I just mental? I dunno, I think that I am hurting the relationships I have with people now and I want to stop it. I know this is common because I hear about it a lot and I just wanted to know of any solutions! NEED HELP!

You say that you both are in love. You are 14 years old. I mean you should be worrying about hanging out with your friends and doing stuff like that. Being young is the only time to do this stuff worry about loving someone when you get older. It is the only way that it is gonna work and you can try whatever you want on this girl because maybe she just needs the little push. But if it doesn't work you can't be upset because she expressed her feelings. I mean if you can't let it go, go for it, because you never know what might happen. I just think it is a little foolish for people around our age to be worrying about love. I'm 17 and that is for me, I mean your 14. Good luck but thinking seriously now it's really worth it in my opinion

I am really upset now, this guy that has been bothering me a lot. Acting like he likes me so that I liked him he talks to me over yahoo under anonymous names then tries to get me to know that it was him in real life by talking about what I talked to the guys about. I was over hanging with my friends and I see him at the store with a girl. I saw them drive up and he kinda waved at us but I was like omg, he's with a girl and he's been putting me through this hell. I can't believe he did this to me. It is worse now too because my friend gave me so much crap about it when we saw him and my friend even goes "why are you getting upset he doesn't seem oblegated to you like you are to him" I just got so upset and made me take me home now I'm home and all alone and depressed. I can't believe this, we even messed around and everything. He doesn't do that either he's not a player. What am I supposed to do about this? I hate him I'm never going to talk to him again, I'm just venting sorry but any opinions would be helpful. It's just that I pushed him away expecting him to come back to me and he didn't he just moved on. I can't believe this it hurts so much. After all he put me through he isn't even going to say sorry he's just going to get with another girl. I can't believe this. I feel so used this is horrible. I'm never going to talk to him again! Why do guys do this?!?! SOME ADVICE PLEASE!

I don't know if it is that or what. I mean he is the one that acts like he likes me I don't do anything but act like myself. He makes me like him by flooding me with attention, but then never tells me that he likes me. I dunno if he just won't ever go out with me or he is shy...I mean it's hard for me to make the first move when I'm insecure and if he is insecure we are never going to get anywhere. I just don't know what to do because i would be able to move on(hide the feelings) if he would just leave me alone. I don't know what he wants from me.

OK, well I've posted on here before. I am having troubles with a guy that is shy and I realize now why I won't say anything to him. I am getting signals from this guy but I am not doing anything because I'm fat. I know some people are like "she probably just thinks she's fat" but no I mean I am really overweight not extremely but enough like 190, well anyway he isn't and he hangs out with more popular people. I know that he is a shy guy but this is what is holding him back right? I mean I don't care about how much he likes me he's not saying anything because i'm fat. I can't say anything to him because I know guys don't go out with fat girls. Isn't that the case? I mean I just realized why I get so pissed when he flirts with me, because I know that he will never go out with me. I keep telling myself it won't work because I know people would make fun of him. Is this wrong of me to do, I mean i'm so insecure about this. What should I do? Do guys think that being fat is like the worst thing a girl could be? I just like this guy so much and it is killing me because he acts like he likes me too but I can't get over this. What should I do?

OK, I have posted before A LOT, I know sorry but I'm getting so mad at myself. I will just be trying to carry on my life because I came to the conclusion that I'm not going to say my feelings to this guy for various reasons and our past experiences. Unless, he wants to tell the truth. Well, I have a huge problem he keeps talking to me under anonymous names over yahoo and then talks to me about the stuff I talk to the "names" about. It is horrible too, because people will talk to me out of no where and tell me how great/beautiful/special I am. I listen to it because it's nice to hear that and that I think is the only reason why I keep talking to these random people. Well, today one talked to me and mentioned something about a serious problem me and this guy are having right now "trust" issues, well it made me feel bad all day because he won't talk to me about how he truly feels. He gives me loads of attention whenever we are around each other too and it hurts because he isn't saying anything to me and I am kinda beginning to believe that he is just messing with me, because he knows how to make me like him. It just seems that someone would have to be really messed up to spend this much time just to get a rile out of me, or he really likes me. Well, he continues to talk to me and everything. I don't really know what to do because random people talk to me all the time, (I have no clue how they get my name, I'm never in chat rooms or anything) well, I have kinda started to think that everyone who talks to me is him, and it is kinda getting out of hand. People make me depressed whenever I find out it is someone else. I dunno what to do, because I KNOW that he does talk to me, I was wondering what other people would do in my situation? Stop talking to them in all or just get it over with and confront ever guy on the net? Or should I just go about it as usual and just wait for him to tell me. The thing is if I cut off total contact he could realize that he needs to talk to me and will talk to me, but I do have a problem with getting bored late at night and talking to whoever pops up. I don't think that I'm ready to get over it plus the attention is awesome. The problem is they all act like they know me and it bothers me a lot. Should I fight my urges and see what happens or should I just go with the flow until he is ready to confess? All I know is that talking to these names isn't helping me get over him because I think about him all the time and constantly want to get on the net. I just want to know what some other people think about this. Any advice or opinion would be cool and feel free to contact me or send me a message. I'm open for anything! THANX!

Maybe you should find the source of all the anger and frustration. I know a lot of people that handle their emotions like that, I don't understand it but some people can't talk. If I were you I would just try to understand where it is coming from and maybe if it is you, then you should leave him a lone for awhile, take a break. If it is not you and just his surroundings and he is taking the anger out on you that isn't healthy either, and that might call for a break. If you are really worried about him express it to him and don't yell, I've learned that. Just be calm and oh yeah if he is acting out violently let him know that you don't want him to hurt himself by doing anything stupid. I hope i helped you out!

Ok, another problem that I am having is that I fooled around with a guy and I don't know if he did it because he liked me or just wanted some. I mean he chose me because there were plenty of other girls he could have hooked up with. Afterwards we haven't talked because I actually am really embarrassed about it, I think that I am sadly 17 and still not mature. I can't talk to him about it but afterwards he was so nice to me and gave me loads of attention. I kinda handle my problems in anger and since he hasn't really tried to start a relationship with me since, I have been ingnoring him and acting like I hate him. It is just my way of handling the awkwardness that I have whenever I'm around him. I can tell it hurts him that I am doing this but if he didn't just do it to get some wouldn't of he wanted a relationship by now? He knew how much I liked him before this and even though we have been distant for quite some time I would think that he would know that this would bring up feelings. How do I found out whether he was using me or likes me? This is another shy guy problem. I don't understand why guys are so shy whenever they know that a girl likes them, I mean he has to know that he has the advantage in our relationship but he isn't making any moves towards it. He still talks to me and acts like he likes me. He gets really jealous and stares at me constantly. Should I just ask him about it or wait until he comes to me about it? I don't know what to do and it's driving me insane. For some reason he keeps telling me that i'm full of myself or to get over myself. Could that be the problem? But my main question is why are guys so shy? I mean I have other reasons for not talking to him(awkwardness) but he has nothing and is not doing anything. Can guys really be that shy?HELP ME!!!!!!

Ok, well tomorrow I have to see this guy that I have been posting about on here for awhile, and I don't know what I should do. The jist is that I have liked him off and on forever we have never dated and I kinda had started to give up on the idea of us getting together. Then, I figure out that he had been talking to me under anonymous names over yahoo for quite some time, trying to get to know me. When we are around each other he acts like he likes me but the simple fact is I am insecure about myself and he is older and I guess you could say cooler. He is not very popular and I am not very not popular either. We just hang out with different crowds. Well, he will tell me on the internet all of his feelings as long as he is under an anonymous name and he will hint about the things I talked about to these "names" when I am around him. I talk to the names because I get bored and I have nothing else to do sometimes really late. They just talk to me out of the blue, oh well...this guy acts very jealous of me liking other guys and stares at me constantly, giving me loads of attention whenever he can. But whenever his friends are around it is a different story and I am afraid to say anything to him because of that fact and he won't say anything to me about it. Are guys shy like that? Or does it just show that he will never tell me how he feels? This has been driving me crazy for quite some time now and all I do is think about him. I have not been able to sleep, eat, I get on my friend's nerves, I never feel like doing anything. I just want to set at home and talk to him over the net under the names. I can't help myself I tried to stop talking to everyone but then I feel like he is giving me attention at least and I like that. Well, I tried to hate him for it and I just feel like it is pointless for me to like him anymore, but I can't stop it. I know that he must like me and it really bugs me that I can't talk to him and I wonder about what I should do because he isn't talking to me. Should I blow it off tomorrow? or Should I get up the courage to talk to him about it? He has asked me before if I had anything to tell him...I kinda think he wants me to pursure him. He has always been pursued in his other relationships. On the other hand I know that he will more than likely want a relationship with me and I don't know if I am mature enough to handle that kinda of committment. I don't want to ruin it though by not following the singals he is giving me. I don't know what to do I'm just so confused right now! I could be blowing this out of proportion but I don't know anything because he won't talk to me. I know he is a shy guy but honestly should I take that as a hint nothing will ever happen? well, I see him tomorrow so if I get some good advice I might go with it, just tell me the honest truth. Thanx!

ok...I just wrote on the forum not too long ago and they told me it was kinda misleading. So, I will try to make it better and less confusing. I really like this guy and I KNOW that he has been talking to me under anonymous names over yahoo for quite some time now. He won't talk to me about it and I can't confront him because I'm afraid he will deny it and I will feel dumb. He has wanted to mess around over the net but that was not his only intention he talks to me forever(until like 4am) under the anonymous names. He is a coworker and tonight when I worked with him he got very upset that I was talking a lot to another guy. He actually kind of flipped out on me for it. He won't admit to me that he likes me but is very flirtatious and gets so jealous. This has been going on for quite some time and I don't feel it is fair for me to like him anymore, because it does nothing. I want some other people's opinions on whether he likes me maybe someone has went through this or just can give some advice. I have kind of been ignoring him for quite some time now and it makes him so mad, I end up feeling bad. I can't get this off of my mind. Do guys who are really shy do this? If I was worth it wouldn't he talk to me? Does this mean he doesn't want to go out? I was also wondering if he could possibly just be playing with my mind...I talked to someone and they thought that maybe he just liked the fact that I liked him...You know how it makes you feel good to feel wanted...well he might be trying to make me like him by acting jealous and being flirtatious to me so I can't move on. I have no idea and it hurts me so bad because he acts really hurt and gets so angry when I talk to other guys. The only thing holding me back is the simple fact that he won't talk to me. There is a point where shyness stops, I mean I really don't know what to think anymore, and I don't know if I should ask him out or wait until he says something to me. Or if I should get over him completely? Oh some more info he is 19 I am 17(just turned), but something that might help you give me help is that I am kind of overweight. I mean he tells me on the other names that he thinks I'm cute but I dunno if that is the overall reason why he won't come out with it. And he has openly said in front of everyone that he was at my house the other night, so he doesn't sound embarrassed. Mind you he is not the football jock he is just a regular guy, kinda not liked and not very popular. I mean he hangs with some popular people but he thinks he is a lot cooler than he actually is. If he is that immature he is not worth it I know this. I really don't want to get any advice about how I should feel good about myself or anything because I would never change for a guy and I have respect for myself. I mean I just know that he is a good guy but I think that might be the factor as of now...I really like him and I don't know what to do about it. I'm just really hoping I don't get any advice that is like you are too good for him get over him because I can tell he likes me. I dunno give me whatever advice you believe is the best. I'm ready to hear everything and basically my attitude right now is what good does it do to like him, because he will never go out with me. I NEED HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, this is pretty awkward but I will trust this forum. I recently started talking to people in chat rooms and such and one caught my attention and wanted to fool around over the internet. I am not really into that because to me it seems like pointless. Well, it turns out that the one time I did actually let myself partake in it, it turned out to be the guy I have had a crush on forever. I have a webcam so you can kinda guess what I did, I only flashed him. He got pretty descriptive and I tried to push away the thought of it being the guy I knew. I confessed to the anonymous name my suspiscion and he denied everything but was very awkward when I wouldn't participate in anything more and he started to try to prove to me he was this made up guy. He eventually tried getting out of it and told me he was going to stay with friends for the summer and wouldn't be on anymore. I blew up, my first thought was that I was not good enough for him in real life but was good enough for him over the internet. Other people have said that he might have just had a fetish and wanted it from me...but on the other hand he knew that I liked him. Mind you he is not a player, and he is a virgin so he wasn't just using me I don't think he is that kinda guy. Afterwards because I am around him quite a bit he was so flirtatious to me I dunno why, he might have been trying to prove that he liked me so I would ask him out, or he could of been trying to prove that there was no weirdness. It is undeniable though, it is so awkward and he would not act that way if it weren't him. The only problem is I am not a preppy hot chick and he is hot and I don't think he would ever go out with me. So I dealt with this by totally blowing him off and I wouldn't talk to him, because I was so embarrased. Then the other day when we were around each other this friend of ours was talking about how much he hates how his gf messes with his mind and how that is all girls did. This guy continued to call all girls evil and the devil, then my crush shakes the guys hand and was like someone else thinks what I do and yelled to me that I was the devil. I didn't understand it because him and I never were in a relationship and it was kinda pointless of him trying to say that I messed with his mind. This is very confusing because it has been going on for about a year and I have not been able to say anything to him because I am afraid that he would never go out with me. It has to say something that he talked to me under other names rather then just talk to me himself, I can't understand why he just won't ask me out. Doesn't it mean that he won't go out with me? He thinks that I hate him now and I have to be around him all night tonight. I'm just really confused and I need some advice. The other day he asked me if I had anything to say to him. Like I am the one who is supposed to start things. I can't stop thinking about him and I can't seem to get over him I have been trying the last few months...I don't know what to do, I think it is because he continues to talk to me on other names(which he happened to just do right as I write this) I don't understand him at all. I'm so confused why would someone do this? Please help me!?!?!!?!? In more info, I did end up confessing that I liked him and he lied to me about his feelings obviously so, I don't know what to do. I can't confront him because he will lie to me so I can't talk to him about this. How do I get him to realize I want him to talk to me? PLEASE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE!!?!?!!?!?!

Ok, I went through this a little bit last year, my friend was letting her boyfriend abuse her. She was afraid of leaving him because he was not going to let her. All I can tell you is to get a friend or family member that is willing to help you out and get away from him. Relationships are supposed to be loving, you can't change him. Walking away from this is the only way to get back a healthy life. Just figure out a way to get away from him safely. You must realize that there are many men out there that would treat you better and realize that you DESERVE better. It's easier said then done, but once you get over the hill you will feel better about everything

I am having the hardest time ever! I really like this guy and he acts towards me that he likes me back and has recently been talking to me under anonymous names over yahoo. Well, I found out and got angry and felt that I wasn't good enough for him to talk to in real life. He works with me and I think tried to show me that he did care for me because afterwards he was extremely flirtatious and nice to me. I stopped talking to him in all and now he thinks that I hate him. I can't get him out of my mind and I don't know what to say to him because I already confessed my feelings for him when i told him off for something, so I was kinda yelling at him, and he denied knowing anything about it. He is giving me mixed signals either he is too shy to start it or doesn't want to go out with me. I don't know what to think and I am terribly afraid to speak to him about it because I'm afraid of the feelings I have for him and the fact that he could easily deny it again. I am never able to get in relationships I think that I have a committment problem and I am a girl. Should I just not be afraid and tell him how I feel or should I just hold all of this back and wait for him to tell me the truth? I'm so confused and it is killing me.I need some advice QUICK!