funkless
-
Posts
19 -
Joined
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Articles
Videos
Blogs
Store
Everything posted by funkless
-
Hey Petalbud! You have a cute user name and your avatar is pretty nice too. I read your post and subsequent ones and I felt pretty bad for you. I am 17 myself so I hope that I can empathize with you. I am not too big on advice but I can tell you what I've learnt. I have learnt that self-acceptance is not a very easy road. There is loads of setbacks but you always, always gain some self-acceptance. There is still parts of me I have difficulty with. I suppose another thing about self-acceptance is accepting your feelings whatever they are and not trying to judge yourself on them or trying to change them because they are inappropriate for that time. But of course, feelings like anxiety or anger is something we'd all like to change so do what some other user suggested on palliative breathing, especially if they get out of control. I actually tried that myself, it did work and that's good because I'm quite shy and have a tendency to get quite anxious from time to time which really messes around with me.
-
Yeah, her ex played games too. His intentions were never too clear. He once pretended to be this lesbian and added her to his MSN. When her mum, she and I found out, it was he, we were so angry. Her mum rang up his parents and he got grounded from the machine ever since. But anyway she's over him but what he's done to her, you can still see the impacts. The low self-esteem, the little self-belief. She cuts badly, not everyday but fairly often. I tried at first to push her out of this habit. I realise now that decision is for her only and all I can is be a support to her.
-
My best friend slits her wrist, her reason is basically rooted with her ex-boyfriend and very low self-esteem. She feels that without a boyfriend she's nothing. It was her ex-boyfriend, who just happened to be her first boyfriend that made her feel special, worth something. Now, he's left and pretty much ignores her now, her self-esteem has plummetted. She's over the ex but that's when the problems started when she broke up over him. She used to say the days with her ex were her happiest. She felt wanted and had something to do with her life. Now, she slits herself and feels unwanted despite her close family and friendships. But it's all back to boy matter- most teen girls want a guy in their life but she feels she NEEDS one. She liked this other guy, but another one of her friends started dating him even when she knew my best friend liked him. So she feels ugly and blames herself for losing out on the guy. It's very hard to convince her otherwise. She wants to stop cutting but it's addictive and I'm worried for her. I talk to her to help her but it's really hard most of the time.
-
I have a one or two role models. I believe role models should be admired and respected for whatever qualities you see in them but don't ever emulate them to the point you lose yourself and become something else. That happens and it's not exactly good. I admire the elven queen Galadriel from LOTR and the Sil (dont laugh at me; I KNOW she is imaginary!) but despite making some pretty nasty mistakes early in her life, she bounces back and becomes this wise, beautiful person people both fear/respect and deeply love. My other role models would be anyone who is not afraid of others, what people think, they aren't self-conscious. That really inspires me and I'm trying to achieve that too but in my own way.
-
One of my close friends has been dumped by her bf of over a year. He seems to be going fine without her but she on the otherhand, is suffering terribly. She wants him back and I don't think she has accepted the fact it's over and so she sits and hopes and cries over it. It's been 2 months and she's asked me to ask him (her bf) why he isn't talking. I did and he just shrugged his shoulders, feeling fustrated I dissed him and he snickered at me. Now she wishes to hack into her ex's email, hoping maybe he still remembers her, thinks about her but I doubt personally there is going to be anything in it beside a bunch of forwards and other regular email junk. But she also wants to get over him. One of my other friend suggested she tries too hard to get over him, you don't try, you simply face these emotions and try to keep going with resolve. Another thing is that her situation is a mirror image of what I was like only a few months ago- I posted stuff about my own problem here- well that got sorted out. Anyway, I feel that when I asked him and hacking into his email- is this normal? I don't know- besides possibly breaking privacy laws. At the time I liked my guy I eventually got into his email because I so desperately hoped he thought about me. I obviously wasn't thinking straight. However, in his email I didn't find nothing and somehow that relieved me- I actually started to grow on from this point of liking him to now only occasionally thinking about him. What should I do for my friend? She's driving everyone else insane (as I did too) and because I kinda went through what she went I seem to be only patient person around. Should I just leave her on her own? I'm very confused and I don't want her being too emotionally screwed over by her ex or being too dependant on people.
-
Well 3 of my closet friends all got asked out, at first I was really very happy for them but later on when I saw on of them hold hands and hug I felt a twinge of jealousy because I told this guy I liked him but him and his friends just thought it was funny, laughed at my friend who tried to explain and just ignored me. I also still like this guy but Im trying to get ova him by getting rid of anything about him like photos, letters and emails about him to friends, crushed any thoughts about him and generally ignored the fact of him but its very hard. Its like Im addicted to him and my life is very messy becuz of my near crazy feelings for him. I dont know wat whether you'd call my crush on him love, since it really is only a one way fest and I can't think straight without him, I have put my life on hold for him and wats worst is I keep seeing him everywhere, no joke and Im so mad at myself becuz I just cant get on with life and get ova him. Well my friends bf hugged her today and I knew he had asked her out, like I told my crush I liked him. But lucky for him she had said yes and now he is havin' a great ol' time with her and Im still stuck in Crapsville with a guy who doesnt like me at all and I still like. I felt jealous becuz I was not in the same position my friend's bf was and I felt I should be. I dont want to be jealous of them but seeing them reminds me of being all alone and also reminds me of my rejection. I want to be thought of as special but I realise I dont want to be in a relationship with anyone except with the guy I like (and I know thats pretty impossible!!) and I feel put out everyone else has a partner...I know Im only 15 and I've got a long time to go but it's so painful watching everyone else being happy and having a REAL life!
-
Katerina, that sounds very very cruel about how that guy did that you. It's funny how some people treat us like crape yet we still hold onto them for some stupid/crazy reason. I did wat you said, I avoided anything that reminded him of me (I cant really contact him) and tried hard to sqaush thoughts about him. Its working okay and I feel a bit better than just mopping around and feeling sad for myself.
-
I suppose some of you have heard my long winded tails about me and this guy at boarding school. Anyway, I found out he had rejected me because he always avoided me on MSN and never emailed me back, he even flirted with one of my friends like crazy and his friends acted like I wasnt there. I keep telling myself I havent got the whole truth; but who am I kidding? Everyone knew I had been rejected except for me until now. But I still like him despite being rejected and ignored and having your friend get all his attention and not me (it especially made me mad there; i wondered what was wrong with me). I wonder if I will ever get ova him but everything and everywhere seems to reek of him, the school he used to go to, the town, his very friends i see everyday, it just gets to me so easily and then I feel awful and grieved. I miss him so very much. I read on an article by link removed that a crush only exists because you allow it to. It's a product of your imagination; I've wondered if that is the reason to why I just cant let go. I have a very strong imagination and Im creative at school (especially english) so is my imagination contributing a lot to my very strong feelings towards this guy? I alway sit and fantasize about him feeling bad he has rejected me, is this my mind's way of saying I've been hurt and I dont believe I've been rejected? How do you let go of your crush and kill your feelings for him?
-
Hey there! Yeh, just tell her and be as honest as you can. It might be scarey and you'll be pretty nervous but I promise you, things will change for the better, your relationship might get deeper (if she is ur close friend she will understand you) and you will soon or eventually get over her. I was in similar situation too, except my crush was just an acquaintance, however we got on well. But he went to boarding school and eventually, just about a month ago I told him I liked him with disasterous results. Since my crush and I live very far apart, I told him in MSN and I didnt realise it was his friend speaking to me. His friend told me to stop stalking him and I was so upset. He came on the next day and told me it was his friend not him. It seemed everything he said was in such a dismissive, dull and uninterested tone. I tried to speak to him again but I think he blocked me....oh well. Im over him anyway, I feel better without being dragged down by feelings and memories about him. MORAL OF THE STORY: I should of told him face-to-face not on MSN. Yes, tell her in real life with true blue honesty. She will really appreciate the sincerity and honesty in you if she really cares about you too. Also dont get discouraged or scared about my bad experience...I believe we all experience something like that in all our lives. I guess I exprienced mine sooner though. Go ahead and tell her, Im simply telling my expereince so maybe you can learn something from it so dont fret about getting bad treatment or being rejected...cuz if she is your friend she will treat this and you with respect, love, understanding and care. Take care and tell her buddy! funkless
-
Has anyone read the article: DON'T CALL THAT MAN!: A SURVIVAL GUIDE TO LETTING GO by Rhonda Findling...is this similar to a the grief pattern of lossing someone in death? Is this also similar to the pattern of getting over a painful crush and rejection? When I liked my guy...I only liked him for a week before I was suddenly on school holidays and realising with shock and horror I would not see him again ever at my school. I suppose I only liked him with him actually around for such a short length time, the feelings were very intense plus it was very early into that period that they would of all contributed to the feeling that it felt like my crush had died or something like that. So having my crush torn away from me from such an early time...is this similar to the that Break up Guide thing??...I was wondering because I went thru similar stages listed in the Break up Guide...at first I was numb and in denial...then I was very depressed and refused to do anything...I was angry...then suddenly cheerful and then depressed again..this went on for around 6 months...before finally telling him I liked him. I was rejected on the fact he thought it was a joke and dismissed me even when he knew it wasnt a joke. So I grew into deep depression again and then severe anger at him...but then I decided to do something about it and get over him for good. Im almost over him thanks to articles like these and support from friends and this forum...but Im asking is grief and loss of any kind from losing a crush to losing a sister to death follow similar emotions, patterns, behaviours? Or do people being unique as they are grieve in their own way?
-
Well I've liked this guy for ages and I feel that my crush towards him really is just a one way fest and not exactly love. Im sory about your divorce, must be really tough. Take care
-
So why did you let her snuggle with you? I know your pain, one of my friends betrayed me but we are ok now but I dont think I can trust her as well as I could before. Abandon this woman...she only can cause you more pain and harm. Cut yourself out from her and avoid her, she sounds like a nasty piece of work and will cause pain for you again if you aren't careful. take care and good luck...
-
I was reading somewhere that love is a mutual attraction and respect between two people and a crush really isnt love but just some sort of one way fest attraction thing. Whats an infatuation...is it like love or a crush or somewhere in between?
-
Closure is good for ending relationships, finding out what went wrong. I think sure you can talk to him, just don't expect him to actually have an answer for you, or at least one you want to her. I dont have phone contact with him Closure to find out how he felt about me exactly (this is prolly wat went wrong... I feel I didnt find out how he felt because he sounded not too accurate or interested in saying anything..but shouldnt him laughing at us be enuff?? I guess love really blinds!)...Im just wondering if finding out how he felt about me is a good thing to do...it could be something horrible...likes he's found another girl in the city or at a girls boarding skool or he hates me for some obscure reason. I know he only made one effort to MSN me after I told him I liked him was to explain to me it was his friend chatting to me and not him and thats it...I did message him once more but he just went offline and I believe he blocked me... I dont think he will give me a straight answer...his friends might say something though or he might just be rude and give me something horrible again sometimes I dont think asking him how he feels or talking to him is good..his laughter should be an indication now but I've been too blind and upset to think properly...I could be serving myself up for more pain and humiliation But I dont ever give up hope that oneday I will wake up and not care about Sam anymore and I can live my life without him and those feelings bogging me down
-
I feel I do need closure, I need to understand him because when I look at it I never did find out how he felt about me personally. I feel that not knowing how he did feel about me is the closure I need to move on. I also believe your right SwingFox, I have been living in the past. I kept thinking that just because he was nice last year doesnt mean he's gonna carry that polite attitude over especially after what I experienced- being laughed and humiliated by his friends. I unfortunately won't be seeing him until the Christmas break and thats several months down the track...how does one stay sane until then? Or is it possible that in 3 months time I wont care too much about the situation? I've liked him since December last year and my feelings for him are really intense and trying to let go is very painful. I often feel the need to look at a photo of him, think about him, listen to songs that remind me of him, anything that involves him. Sometimes I just start talking or thinking about him without realising...a bit like nail-biting...I dont realise Im chewing my nails until way later or my nails look like a bombsite.
-
Well I liked this guy...he was very nice to me and then he went to boarding school. I think boarding school really changed him because when he came back...he was indifferent, didnt talk much, sorta cold in a way I just thought since he'd only been around boys for quite a while, he'd be a bit awkward around girls. Anyway I told him I liked him on MSN and thinking it was him he said: Stop stalking me...I was shocked and really upset...he had been so nice and then suddenly he just treated me with this indifference and rudeness. However the next day, he came back on MSN explaining it was really his moronic friend talking to me and saying not to stalk him and after that I never have spoken to him again, although he talked to one of my friends later on and she said I was serious and I was really upset about it and he just laughed. Another friend spoke to him and he said he already knew. I spoke to him on MSN since we live 100 km apart and we rarely have a chance to see each other plus his friends are always visiting him so he's pretty busy. My friend was doing this performance thing and she said after the show he came backstage to talk with the actors (including her) and she said he was really different, snobby almost. My problem is, even though he's treated me horribly and didnt even tell me he just wasnt interested but laughed at my friends and me...I cant seem to get ova him. It's really tough. One part still believes he cares about me but I know he doesnt, however I find it really difficult to convince that part it's ova and he doesnt give a damn.
-
Thanks for all the advice...I did get a reply and it was horrible. He came on MSN late last night read my email and said: "Stop stalking me" Obviously he thought it was a silly joke or some dumb bet I'd done with friends...and seeing that his horrible friend was there also and his friend was paying me out, I went along with his "joke" so as not to appear silly...I dunno....anyway it really hurt and I've realised he is an immature and arrogant little male...but I'm over him thanks to what he's said...and sometimes I feel idiotic for even liking him...I feel betrayed that I gave away this to him...to someone who tossed me aside and thought I was a joke...so I laughed along...I didnt know what else to do.
-
I've liked this guy for ages...but nothing is gonna happen...so I hoped maybe here I would get suggestions about getting over him...here's my story: I liked this guy at school...I think he liked me too...anyway he left for another school (boarding school to be exact)...so I rarely see him. He visits our school occasionally when he's on holidays...anyway I've been trying to get over him cause I know, most likely nothing will come of it and I'm driving my poor friends insane about him. It's really hard getting over him because little things remind me of him...like certain songs, pictures of him, even just wandering around my school reminds me he was once here but he's now gone and it hurts a lot...I hoped originally I could just live this out...thinking it would pass but it hasn't. I feel that if I tell him I like him...the response I get is what I will do next and I know whatever the response might be it'll be good for us (my friends and me!)...so I did tell him and I'm hoping he'll just reject me (sounds weird...I know) and we could remain friends or something like that, but so far there's been no reply from him (I told him in an email a few days ago, as we live quite apart...my school being 100 kms from home and I rarely see him in my school town anyway). So what do you guys suggest to help me get over him? I'm grateful for any ideas, suggestions, etc. Thankyou!