dmvcc1

Me and my ex broke up about 3 months ago...she broke up with me and it was one of those that was a huge surprise to me. One day everything was fine, and the next, she didnt want to be in a relationship anymore. I was absolutely crushed because this was the second time this had happened. She is my first true love and I miss her terribly. We have not talked to one another in over 2 months and for the most part, i have been doing ok. This past sunday, i went to pick up food at a local bar/restaraunt and I saw her there. I know she saw me and she was very uncomfortable...she was sitting with 2 or 3 guys. For the past 4 days, i have walked around like i have been hit in the stomach and feel like I have fallen backwards a few steps. I am looking at this as a bump in the road, but I didnt think it would get to me like it has. We did not talk at the bar, i got my food and left...i certainly wouldnt go up to her, not while she was sitting with guys...i was so jealous, maybe more so that she is moving on and I am still having a hard time with it. I have thought about calling her...today I have a cat scan...i have already had an MRI for really bad headaches...she knows about this and has not called once....she was my best friend and I am so lonely...to top it off, i met a girl sat. night that I really dug and she gave me her number...i didnt ask for it, she just gave it to me...it was not a real number and then I saw her last night and she totally avoided me...why do people do that....i miss my ex so much and I am not sure how I am going to get through the holidays...to even think about New Years makes me cry...any support out there would be appreciated..

Me and my ex broke up about 3 months ago...she broke up with me and it was one of those that was a huge surprise to me. One day everything was fine, and the next, she didnt want to be in a relationship anymore. I was absolutely crushed because this was the second time this had happened. She is my first true love and I miss her terribly. We have not talked to one another in over 2 months and for the most part, i have been doing ok. This past sunday, i went to pick up food at a local bar/restaraunt and I saw her there. I know she saw me and she was very uncomfortable...she was sitting with 2 or 3 guys. For the past 4 days, i have walked around like i have been hit in the stomach and feel like I have fallen backwards a few steps. I am looking at this as a bump in the road, but I didnt think it would get to me like it has. We did not talk at the bar, i got my food and left...i certainly wouldnt go up to her, not while she was sitting with guys...i was so jealous, maybe more so that she is moving on and I am still having a hard time with it. I have thought about calling her...today I have a cat scan...i have already had an MRI for really bad headaches...she knows about this and has not called once....she was my best friend and I am so lonely...to top it off, i met a girl sat. night that I really dug and she gave me her number...i didnt ask for it, she just gave it to me...it was not a real number and then I saw her last night and she totally avoided me...why do people do that....i miss my ex so much and I am not sure how I am going to get through the holidays...to even think about New Years makes me cry...any support out there would be appreciated.. DM

I am pretty sure I am at a point of no return. 2 months ago, my gf ended things, well kind of ended things...gave me the I need space routine...i do not think that there is anyone else but who knows these days..i tell myself anything is possible. We dated about 6 years ago for bout a year and then broke up, 4 years apart, she had a baby, 1 year ago, started dating again...everything was going perfectly...i thought at least...then one night...bam..just like that...she lied to me about where she was going and then the next night told me she did not want to be in a relationship right now...she wanted to remain in contact and I told her no...I had done that for four years and could not do it again...we did make plans to see each other about a month after this all happened for a sat. night and at 8:30 that night, i called her at work to see what time we would meet and she cancelled on me...maybe she was telling the truth, but i dont know...for the next hour, i told her how i did not think it was a good idea to even talk anymore, that she kept hurting me, not on purpose, but her actions were hurtful...at the end of the phone call, she did say she would call me in a few days, that was almost 2 months ago...i have been very good about not picking up the phone, in the middle of august, her daughter turned two and I did mail a birthday card thinking that would prompt a call from her...but nothing, not even a phone call to say thank you...but I miss her so much and I thought it would be even a little bit easier by now and it is not...i am sure if she was the one that said dont call me, i would have not either, but still, she said she would and I sent the card to no avail...i just need some closure i guess..i need to know why..something to help me move past it...even if there is someone else, it may crush me but will help me to realize that she is gone...just tough to do after you have talked for seven years without any breaks...i miss her...any suggestions...tks. DM

my ex broke up with me about 2 months ago now...We have not spoken in over a month. The last time we talked, we had plans to go out and she blew me off at 8:30 on a sat. night...she said she would call in a few days and although I told her I did not think that was a good idea, I thought she would call anyway...she did not, I have not picked up the phone either..she wanted to stay friends but puts in no effort to do so...two weeks ago, her daughter turned two...I mailed a card for her and really thought that would warrant a phone call, but nothing...I have been going out with new people and even have my eye on someone right now, but I cannot stop thinking about my ex...on and off for 7 years is tough to just walk away from...I am not hoping for someone to tell me that she will call, but that with time, this will get easier..she is my first true love and what I thought to be my soulmate...i guess i expect a bit too much from people

my ex broke up with me about 2 months ago now...We have not spoken in over a month. The last time we talked, we had plans to go out and she blew me off at 8:30 on a sat. night...she said she would call in a few days and although I told her I did not think that was a good idea, I thought she would call anyway...she did not, I have not picked up the phone either..she wanted to stay friends but puts in no effort to do so...two weeks ago, her daughter turned two...I mailed a card for her and really thought that would warrant a phone call, but nothing...I have been going out with new people and even have my eye on someone right now, but I cannot stop thinking about my ex...on and off for 7 years is tough to just walk away from...I am not hoping for someone to tell me that she will call, but that with time, this will get easier..she is my first true love and what I thought to be my soulmate...i guess i expect a bit too much from people

So the last time I talked to my ex, i told her i was not sure it was a good idea to talk with her right now...partly because a few minutes before that, she had blown me off for a sat. night...almost 2 weeks ago...i told her it would be too hard to be friends, that even if I was ok with it, she does not put any effort into the relationship....and the fact that she flaked on me at 8:30 on a sat. night irritated me because it is disrespectful....in any case, she did say that she would call in a few days after that conversation...I have not heard from her since and I have not called her....we cant just end it this way...there is no closure...should I call her and talk to her about it or just keep trying to move on...any suggestions... Thank DM

You know, it really chaps me....the above poster is right...you get exactly what you deserve....you should be ashamed at what you have done....if I were either one of those guys, I would leave you out on the street...sorry it if is harsh...but what makes you think that you deserve to be treated any differently than the way you have treated people...work on yourself...it sounds to me like you have some self esteem issues...and remember Kharma...it will come back and bite you in the @@@....good luck in your endeavors...with your type of attitude and behavior, u will need it!

Well, my girl who wanted a break about a month ago but wanted to stay close has not called me....i saw her a couple of weeks ago for a concert and some of you might remember that she was upset because I took pics of her and her daughter off my fridge...but she wanted the break...she doesnt know...in any case, a week and a half ago, she called and we talked, i asked her if she wanted to do something on sat...she said sure, when i called her, she flaked...we got into another big discussion and i told her this was too hard...i miss her so much...i told her i didnt think it was good that we talk at all...that upset her...long story short, she ended up saying that she would call in a few days, but that was over a week ago...i know...i told her it wouldnt be a good idea...but the pain will not go away...i feel so empty..i miss her, my friend, my lover, my confidant...my first true love, although she does not know this...i told her that not talking to her would be the hardes thing I have ever had to do and her response was, "Are you kidding me?"...she was serious and then I said, you just dont get it...by you saying that, you have no idea how i feel about you....I just miss her

I dont know what to do all. I miss my ex so much...I talked to her last night, we were supposed to see each other but now we will see each other this week. I told her I didnt know if it was a good idea to see each other at all because I think that I am seeing her for the wrong reasons...she said what and I said I see her with the hope that her feelings have changed and she wants to be with me...but how do I show her how much I care...I have told her that eve though I am 27, i have never had to deal with something like this...not talking to her ever again would be the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life...what she does not know is that she is and was my first true love...she also does not know that she took my virginity...she thinks that I was with girls before her but I had not had sex with any of them...this was 7 years ago when we first me...then when we broke up the first time, I went out with many girls...but when i said that ti would be the hardest thing in the world not to talk to her, she said, "Are you kidding me?" I thought she was joking but she wasnt...i said to her that she obviously did not get where I was coming from and obviously did not have any idea how important she was and how much I love her...the roller coaster is too much...she told me she couldnt go out tonight because she has plans...even though I dont know what she is doing, i told her that I didnt want to know stuff like that, it bothers me because I am jealous and she is making time for other people but not me...maybe she is going out with a new guy...that is what I am going to think regardless of what she tells me...sorry for rambling on...any suggestions. I just miss her more than anything. I am very lonely and sad. DM

About 5 weeks ago, my gf and I went on a "break" is what she called it. The pain of missing her is unbearable...I have constant reminders of her, we dated twice over 7 years and the 4 years in between we were still close. She is my best friend, my confidant etc..I dont know what to do..all I want to do is sleep buy now, all i do is dream about her so I dont want to sleep anymore..I am trying to spend time with all my friends and keep busy but this is so hard...I feel like I have lost a piece of me!!!! Any suggestions DM

Thank you all for your input...I do value it, I hope that none are offended if I do not take your advice...I did call her last night...I felt like I needed to and I am glad that I did...She was very hurt by the fact that I took her pictures down but did understand why...More so, the reason I am glad that I called is because I found out a lot of other information...While we were talking last night, she got another call and it turned out to be her baby's dad. When she got back on the phone with me, she was so upset at him and we started talking about it....It is very clear that he is not over her at all and because he is not with her, he does everything he can to make her life difficult...his attitude is that he does not need to watch the baby if she is not at work...only while she is working is it her responsibility to watch the baby and anytime she needs him to watch her, it is a nightmare...he always asks where she is going and who with and I can tell you that this was something that I was worried about. She has obviously been "hiding" me for the last 10 months, not because she likes him or doesn want to hurt his feelings but because she doesnt want to have to put up with the drama...for her to talk to me about this stuff was a big step for both of us last night...he treats her like **it, and unfortunately, she cant cut off contact with him because he does watch the baby often..so does his parents...so, that is kind of where we are at...does anyone agree that this is an issue that needs to be resolved by her before we can move forward??? DM

So all, me and my Ex went on a "Break" about 4 weeks ago...she has made it clear that she does not want to be in a relationship now and I have made it clear that we cannot just be friends...but we had tix to a concert last night and figured lets make the best of it...We did and had a really good time, but when we got back to my place, she noticed that I had taken pictures of her and her daughter off my refrigerator...her reaction was "Wow" and I said Wow what and she said again, WOW...we did not talk about it but she became quiet afterwards...what does she expect...she treated me pretty badly when this was all going down...just disrespectful...nothing to overwhelming, but how can she not expect me to take those down...then when she left, she gave me a big hug and said, "you smell really good tonight"...then we said goodbye and she left...My question, do I call her tonight to explain why I took the pictures down...although she should understand, I am surprised at her reaction...she was definitely surprised, but I miss her so much and as it is, thoughts of her consume my waking moments and it is not so easy to see her face everytime I go to the fridge....anyone, should i call her tonight to explain, or let her think about the fact that I am serious about what I have said to her???? Please respond...thank you DM

hello hellojello, I dont often reply to posts, but I read yours with a heavy heart. Although, my girlfriend and I have not talked about engagement but are very close with one another and have a 7 year history through many many tough instances...she is 25 and I am 27. She is apparently feeling the same way that you are and all I can do is give you advice from the other point of view...in this case I would be in your boyfriends position. My GF suddenly started acting distant...literally, one night everything was fine, the next she was blowing me off and then when I stayed there through my hand off of her when I put it on her stomach while we were sleeping. The advice I can give you is you cant have your cake and eat it too. This guy that you are with sounds like a great person. He seems to treat you right...doesnt sound like there is any cheating going on on either side, but the fact of the matter is that you have doubts, just like my gf. She doesnt doubt her feelings for me but doubts us...I am not sure what that means, but if your boyfriend loves you, you MUST be honest with him...and that you have been, you did tell him that you thought you were too young to be engage, but is that something to string him along until you figure out whether he is what you want or not...not real fair to him is it. My GF acted in all these different ways and even went as far as lying to me to go out one night when she told me she was staying home. Well, I found out that she was out and called her out on it. Now I tell her that I dont know what to expect from her and that gets her angry....she is obviously very confused. I dont know if any of this will help but maybe, bottom line is that if you dont love him, you need to tell him even if it will hurt him...this is the point that I have been trying to make with my girlfriend, dont hold back saying something just to spare feelings, because in the long run, it will only be worse for you and for him. I love my gf will all of my heart, she means the world to me, but she acted in a way that I have never seen her act before and that bothers me...now I have doubts about her as a person. If you think that there is a chance you two can be together, but you are not sure now, let him go, if it happens it happens...this is the second time I have been hurt by this girl...i know that she does not do it intentionally, i know that she loves me, but the way she acted, felt like a knife in the heart...dont do that to him...he wants to marry you, he obviously loves you and wants to be with you...take that path or dont, but do not, I repeat, do not keep it in lingo...it is not healthy for anyone...i am smoking 2 packs a day and I have never been so depressed in my entire life, I am an executive so I have to put on a smile all day long and it is the worst thing...but with time it will pass...maybe you can give me some advice on your end...what changed...what happened??? maybe it will allow me to shed some light on my own situation...email me at email removed Hopefully we can talk more and get each other through these tough times. Good Luck Dan

I dont normatlly respond on these but our situations are similar I am not really sure what to tell you other than that I am going throught the same thing right now. My GF and I dated initially almost 7 years ago, for about a year..I was madly in love with her but she had an ex that hung around too often and we ended it but stayed friends (too make a long story short, i was 21, she was 19) For 4 years that is what we did and although she ended up having that guys baby, we were still friends and for that entire time, I hated it. I loved her too much to walk away and wanted her in my life and that is why I stayed friends with her. She was very upset and distraught when she got pregnant, and although she has a big family and a lot of support, she talked mostly with me about it. It was so hard for me. About 10 months ago, we started dating again, and although we both wanted to go very slow, neither of us did and immediately got into a full fledged relationship which was ok with me. Everything has been perfect, about 4 weeks ago, I was out of town and she called to tell me how much she missed me and that she was glad I was coming home. A week or so after that, she was telling me how happy she is that her 2 year old daughter knows me and asks about me...then BAM, just like that, the following weekend she blew me off a couple nights in a row, decided to go out with her roommate on Friday night and then made plans with me on Saturday night, talked with her about 5pm and said are we going out tonight, she said yes that she would call me when she got home from her parents...I didnt even hear from her, she did not call until Sunday morning and acted like nothing was wrong...then on Tuesday night she told me she had stayed home but i saw her out at the bar...what the hell?? Lo and behold, she needs space, it is too quick, she went from a bad relationship into ours immediately and she questions it....I have not talked to her in a week, I have told her that I cant just be friends with her and that did not make her happy...we have never fought, never been mean, are very in love with each other (i think) and have quite a history, so why did she do this...I went from feeling so loved and on top of the world to nothing and the one thing that bothers me the most is the way she treated me.....not calling, lying to me...that hurts the most...now I think are there other times she did it...and with such ease!!! I dont understand either. I do know though, this will be the biggest mistake of her life...She is losing the catch of the century (not to blow my own horn), but I guess it is her loss. I dont have closure yet, and it does not sound like you do either...it has been 3 months, I would call him, maybe he is thinking the same things you are...but I dont want to give you false hope, at this point, what do you have to lose, call and ask hims straight out what is going on....if he bs's you or tells you at least you will know and you can start to move on. I have lost this girl twice now and I am getting tired of it..I am not sure what I am going to do, I am supposed to see her next monday night for a concert but I dont know if I want to...Call your man and whatever you do, dont accept "I dont know" from him...my gf is the queen of that!!

I guess I am on here because I need help. After 6 years of standing by this girl and being there for her through thick and thin, even when were just friends in between our two stints of dating, she wants space and does not want to be in a relationship right now. Emotionally I am exhausted. I have known lifes ups and downs and have felt heartbreak in the past, but this is the second time she has done this. I cannot be friends with her...it just wont work and the pain of losing my best friend, my lover, my confidant is too much to bare. I am tired of trying, I am tired of getting hurt, and I am tired of life. I do not have much option here and do not know what I am going to do. I do not want to hear, "make yourself busy, surround yourself around friends, meet new people" I am not good with pain or heartache and I feel as though someone has died. I am baffled at her choice that she is making. One night, everything was perfect, the next morning...bam...all of a sudden. I am most upset at the fact that someone can treat other people that way she has treated me. Perhaps I am naive about other people, but it kills me. I hate this! The depression has risen to a level that I cannot cope with. Any drug I can get my hand on I will take, Percocet, Pot, valium, anything to get me through this pain...i see a therapist once a week, but not helping...Im hurt and I miss her very much

I have an on and off gf for the last 7 years. We have both been through a lot but care for each other very much and are very close with one another. After being apart for almost 4 years, we started dating again about 10 months ago...She has a little girl and at first I was reluctant to get close to her but my gf would always say how much she liked that i was bonding with her daughter...then, out of the blue, she started acting strange....after a couple of weeks of this, i called her out on it and now she is saying that everything is moving too fast and it bothers her...that she does not doubt her feeling for me but doubts why she is in this relationship. She says she does not want to see other people, but she cant do what we have been doing for 10 months. I made it very clear to her that i would not take steps backwards and if this did not work out, I would need to move on...without her in my life in any capacity...for me to get over her, I will not be able to see or talk to her at all...that is not what I want, because we have been so close for 7 years, but for 4 of them, I was her "friend" and it killed me...especially when she was having someone elses baby...she doesnt know what to do and neither do I...At this point, I am starting to get angry with her...why should i be with someone or want to be with someone who has to think about whether they want to be with me or not....the crazy thing is that it is so out of the blue...3 weeks ago, she says, I miss you, I love the way you bond with the baby..she asks about you when you are not here...and then this...she is very sad and confused and I am hurting as well...I am almost to the point where I have to tell her...you know what..I deserve better than this...I love you and want to be with you but I am tired of trying..I am tired of the games, I am tired of the "I dont knows" and ultimately, it is going to make me tired of life....any suggestions DM

thank you for the response....we did talk last night and she is concerned with jumping immediately from a bad relationship into ours...I know for a fact that she has never had someone treat her the way I do...never been with anyone as stable as I am...and she questions whether she is in this because she wants to be or because I was there and it is easy because it is me....she has told me it will be impossible not to talk to me...this is a person I have not gone more than 4-5 days without talking to in 7 YEARS!!!! how do you overcome that...again, she does not doubt the way she feels about me, but doubts why we have moved so quickly....she is not ready for this and is very confused..she has let me and has wanted me to become attached to her child as well...and I have and miss her baby a great deal...last night was the first time we saw each other in 2 weeks and I asked her how she felt and she said, sad, empty, lonely and that she misses me very much....then she said, but I am not sure that is a bad thing....i dont know what she meant by that but I would think that yeah, that is not a bad thing...if she didnt feel any of those things, there would be nothing to resolve. I am so sad and confused

To keep a long story short, i have been dating an great girl for about 10 months. We have a bit of history together. We dated for about a year almost 6 years ago and broke up because we were both very young. In the time that we were apart (4 years) she had someones baby...the someone happened to be the person who was the reason for us breaking up in the first place. During the time that we were apart, we still hung out and talked with each other as hard as it was. 10 months ago we got back together, i am crazy about her daughter and love her more that anything. Everything has been great until 3 weeks ago and we finally talked last night. She does not doubt the way that she feels about me, but she says that things have moved way too fast and it bothers her. I have told her that I cannot just be friends with her anymore like we did before. We both love each other very much but If we did not work out, I would never get over her...she says that she will not be able to not talk or see me....WHAT DO WE DO>....my heart is breaking right now and I am so sad..so is she....last night was the first time we saw each other in 2 weeks...she is very confused and scared and does not know what to do but says that we have to figure this out. Any advice is helpful. Thank you