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doblersdream

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Everything posted by doblersdream

  1. doblersdream
    I agree with Radix. Love is defined differently to different people at different stages in their lives. If the feeling you have is love in your mind, then who's to say that it's not. It may not fit another person's definition of love, but like I say, love is not a clearly defined emotion. Follow your heart, and what's meant to happen, will happen.
  2. doblersdream
    Not a woman's perspective, but it seems clear that she's just using you - plain and simple. Best to get out now before things get messy. If it was the other way round, and a married man was sleeping with a woman, and telling her that he's happy with his wife, it would be pretty clear that he was using her for easy sex.
  3. doblersdream
    Playing devil's advocate here, so don't take it as gospel, but it could be that he's learnt a tough lesson from what happened. He gave too much of himself to you and ended up badly hurt. I'm sure he still loves you, but his natural instinct is to protect himself from more hurt. Just as you needed space and time to think how much you missed him, you now need to allow him the same. If he loves you, he'll be back. If he doesn't, well, it's maybe the wrong time, or not meant to happen at all.
  4. doblersdream
    Have you tried telling this girl exactly how you feel? I know it may be a very simplistic approach to the problem, but communication has to be given priority.
  5. doblersdream
    I know from experience that the more you worry about what to talk about, the more difficult it will be. Relax, chat to her the way you'd chat to a friend, and you'll find plenty to talk about.
  6. doblersdream
    To answer your last two questions; I have suffered this myself, being told too many times that I'm too nice. Eventually I began to interpret that maybe 'nice' wasn't the right word, but more so 'no challenge'. If you make it too easy, and always give in and agree, it upsets the balance of a relationship. After all, you don't want to be anyone's pet. My personal philosophy is that being nice is a good thing, but balance that with sticking to your beliefs, even if it contradicts the person you care about/want to please. People will respect you a lot more for having a strong mind, but are still a gentleman too. It doesn't take anything more than being yourself. A relationship means that you're with someone you can relate to, and vice versa. If someone doesn't like you for who you are, then forget them. Easier said than done sometimes, but you're wasting your time otherwise. There are always people out there who will appreciate you for who you are. The only one word of advice I will give is try to make the first impression as close to who you really are. Don't put on some macho act. Be confident and be yourself.
  7. doblersdream
    There may be many reasons why she appeared to not want to talk for long, many reasons that have nothing to do with you. If she has a boyfriend and is happy with him, then it could be she was just flirting with you. My advice would be to do nothing until you know she's single, then give her a call, and ask her out.
  8. doblersdream
    Good idea! Poetry is a nice way to say you care. I got a great response to the first poem i ever made up for my girlfriend. Use it/modify it if you wish, but better to make your own; "My heart it sings a silent song Oh days without you seem so long I love you more than words can say I'm yours forever, in every way" I regularly made up short poems like this and sent them by text message, and they always got the desired response.
  9. doblersdream
    Hi. A letter is a nice thing to give a girl, but maybe some more details might generate some specific advice. What age are you and your gf? How long have you been going out, and how serious is it? Is there any problem with your relationship that you're trying to mend with a letter?
  10. doblersdream
    Hi. Didn't get much response to my post, so any advice at all would be useful. Also would love to chat on msn to anyone who is in/has been in a similar situation.
  11. doblersdream
    I think that saying looks aren't the most important thing may simplify it too much, but doesn't mean that it's not true. You're obviously intrigued bu this girl's personality, and I get the impression that you're maybe scared to 'settle' for someone who's not as physically attractive as you'd ideally like. Follow your heart with this one. Maybe give it some more time, but don't give her any reason to think that it may get serious.
  12. doblersdream
    Ok. First of all - relax!! You're obviously both really keen on each other, so just relax and enjoy it. Your size is nothing to worry about - believe me! Put that right out of your head. Pleasing your gf should be important to you, but if you get obsessed about it you'll only make it harder (no pun intended ) Oral sex is often an awkward area. A lot of people just don't like it. There's not a lot you can do to change that. I'm like you in preferring the woman to be shaven, or at least trimmed. If your gf masterbates regularly, then she obviously knows the value of stimulating her clitoris. That's pretty much were you should spend 95% of your time during oral sex in my experience. Hard to explain, but be gentle but firm at the same time, and be patient. You'll soon learn to read small signals..eg, movement, sudden lack of movement (she freezes), her breathing, or holding her breath. You'll get the idea if you're doing it the way she likes it.
  13. doblersdream
    In most cases, yes, unfortunately it does mean no. Sorry. It's usually a way to let you down gently. You shouldn't take it personally though. Everyone, and i mean everyone, gets turned down at least once. Just keep looking!! Best of luck...
  14. doblersdream
    Any more advice would be much appreciated from anyone.
  15. doblersdream
    You certainly don't deserve to be called names and made fun of. You don't mention your ages, but it sounds like your ex bf is just being very immature about it all. The distancer/pursuer theory is relevant in this case. The more you chase/call him, the more you're giving him control, and in his immature way he is using this to 'act big' in front of his mates. My advice is to break all contact. Just wait and see - he'll be the one crawling back to you. What you have to ask yourself though, is if he's worth your time if he can treat you so badly. There's plenty of people out there who know how to treat people with respect.
  16. doblersdream
    Well, the 'stalking and constant contact' probably was the catalyst. Give her total space and get on with your life. Easier said than done (i know for a fact), but if she misses you she'll come back. Read other posts about the Pursuer/Distancer theory.
  17. doblersdream
    There are two important facts you need to have clear in your mind at all times; 1. If you don't want to be with her, then you shouldn't. That's your right. 2. You need to do what you can to stop her hurting herself. I realise that telling her mum would be tough. Only you know how she may react. You need to be careful that you don't cause a rift between mother and daughter that causes your g/f to be more unstable. Your g/f obviously has issues that need to be dealt with, and you may not be the best person to help her deal with them, although you have an opportunity to help her realise that she has problems. Talking to her calmly about the situation, and what you want might open up new avenues for you both. If that fails, try to think of someone else that she trusts who might be able to give more specific advice. After all, only someone who knows her will be able to be truly helpful.
  18. doblersdream
    Just relax when you're kissing her (maybe easier said than done) but if you can, you'll find it a much more pleasant experience. Trust me. Kissing is a very natural thing, and should never have to worked on.
  19. doblersdream
    Ok. In that case, I doubt that anyone on this site will be able to offer you any advice about how to finish the relationship. You need to minimalise the risk of her doing something stupid, and so i would strongly recommend talking about this to someone who is a postive/authorative/role model figure in this girl's life. Maybe her mother/older sister for example. Someone else definitely needs to be aware of the risk of self-harm.
  20. doblersdream
    How do you think she'd react to a break up, in terms of doing anything to harm herself?
  21. doblersdream
    If you think there's no chance of her doing anything stupid, then it's best to end it immediately. If you're not so sure, try running the relationship down gradually, or get some mutual friends involved to help with her emotional state.
  22. doblersdream
    Thanks so much for taking the time to reply.
  23. doblersdream
    If she gave you her phone number so easily, then you should definitely call her. Try calling on a weeknight for a casual chat. Don't be too eager. Maybe tell her that you were just chillin' out and thought you'd give her a call. Ask her how she is, and take it from there. If she's willing to talk, then her answers will give you a starting point of a conversation. Think about things you might have in common, or shared experiences. Keep it light. I remember one particular time i called a girl that i'd only chatted to online. We chatted on the phone for four hours! If the conversation becomes strained, be ready with an excuse to end it.
  24. doblersdream
    Don't understand why there are genuine replies posted to this ridiculous question..... (shakes head in disbelief).
  25. doblersdream
    The best sexual experiences for both the man and the woman are when there is a strong emotional connection. When you have that, you'll find that you'll be able to finely read her reactions to whatever you do. Have fun exploring and trying different things. If possible, you may be able to talk about what she likes and doesn't like. Most importantly though, just relax, take your time, and do whatever you do with feeling. Corny, I know, but so true.
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