doblersdream
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Everything posted by doblersdream
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If she's slept with other people since, all the more reason for you not to pursue anything with her until she decides what/who she wants. Personally i'd be majorly put off by her sleeping around and then agreeing to go on holiday with her ex. She might very well be a good friend, but as a potential girlfriend, sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
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I agree, and apologise if i didn't make my opinion clearer. I was referring to a single parent in a relationship needing to have the child involved in some way with the new partner. What i don't agree with is exposing a child to a series of flings or 'flavor of the wk' as you put it. Totally not what i was advocating, and i can imagine how angry and jealous it made your friend. I had my period of 'flings' but not one of them met my son..... Apologies for getting a little off topic here. Shaker, please let us know how things develop, or if we can offer you any more advice/support.
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Ex is goin to my old GYM..
doblersdream replied to smiles21's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
Sounds like she's playing games. just as well you don't use that gym anymore... -
Hi there Firstly, my sympathy to you in this difficult situation. I don't know if anyone will be able to give you many genuine words of comfort. It can be very confusing and hard to accept when you're rejected by someone you still love. Your partner appears to have made her intentions clear, if not her feelings. It does NOT mean there is anything wrong with you. Often, a situation which seems straightforward to unbiased observers can be a mess of confusion, false hope, and self doubt to those closely involved. For the sake of your own sanity, you need to accept that the relationship is over and move on. How quickly you do that will depend on keeping busy and removing any routines from your life which involved your partner. remember, we're here to help you through this difficult and confusing time.
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Hi there His turnaround does seem sudden and unexpected, and i can understand how confusing it must be for you. There are a few likely explanations; 1. He has met someone else and doesn't want to hurt you. 2. Some people have a habit of jumping into a relationship with both feet only for their feet to suddenly go cold. I have experience of this. 3. As you say, he doesn't want to try and keep a long-distance relationship going. Unfortunately, the only person who knows the real reason (it may be something completely different) is your partner. His explanation is not very convincing if all he had to said was it's "too difficult with him living in another country". You deserve better treatment than that. No matter how much you want it, you can't make him want you, or make him give you a proper explanation. Just accept it's his loss for now, and move on. Who knows what might happen when he returns, but i wouldn't recomment waiting around to find out.
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I don't agree. From experience, it's almost impossible for a single parent to conduct a relationship without the child being involved in some way.
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Hi Shaker I was a single father for 2 years, and the only advice i can give you is to take the lead from your partner. He knows his daughter better than you (i don't mean that to sound harsh), and will do what's best for her. You may find there is no easy way through this. It will just take time for the child to adjust to changes which she has no control of. I imagine she's been confused for some time already. Unfortunately all you can do is be supportive of the situation without playing an active part in resolving it, as frustrating as that may be. Don't run the risk of the child resenting you. If you feel you have a future with your partner, just be patient.
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Hi Allen The only way to make sure is for your partner to take 'the morning after' pill. You say you're not overly concerned, but you're concerned enough to post here. If your relationship is not ready for a child, then don't take the chance.
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Hi Tommy I know exactly how you're feeling. I've been there. '4answers' is correct - when we're used to being with someone, sharing everything with them, it can be unsettling when they're not around any more. Add to that the usual self-doubt and self-esteem issues and it can all be a bit much to handle at times. However, you sound like you're on the right track already. Keep busy, it's the only way. Try to change any routines that involved your partner. That will help. In my opinion it takes a year to properly get someone out of your system. Hang in there dude, we're here to support you.
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Hi Teach Thanks for taking the time to share your predicament with us. From what you have posted, it seems you and your friend are both very confused, but for different reasons. If your friend's ex wasn't on the scene, then i'd be telling you to go for it, but all signs point to her still being too emotionally tied to him to be able to begin anything new with you. Don't read too much into the fact that you had sex. If anything it's probably just confused your friend even more. The best thing you can do is tell her that you're there for her as a friend. For a relationship to develop, you need to let her get her ex 'out of her system' first.
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Hi Charmed Thanks for the message. So how you doin? Now an 'expert' here, eh? Did you ever get anywhere last year with the lassie you were workin with?
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No chance of that. We've been in each others pockets for a year now, and very much in love. Too right i'm on a high. She's the best thing that's ever happened to me!!!
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Good question.... Here's a few i liked; For oral sex, my gf sometimes uses an 'extra strong mint' in her mouth. The tingling feeling is amazing! Also she sometimes does the 'hot & cold' trick' - alternating a hot drink and a cold drink whilst performing oral sex. For regular sex...a mirror can be fun...either watching in a mirror on a wall, or if you can lay one on the floor and have sex standing over it. That's a big turn on. Try role play games like meeting in a bar and pretending you're strangers etc.
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Hi...I doubt anyone will remember my 'saga' last summer, but I've just got engaged to the girl i met at the end of June 2003. I proposed on top of Mount Tibedabo whilst on holiday in Barcelona. She said yes!!! Dunno if anyone cares...but this site helped me a lot last summer, so wanted to share the good news. Phil
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i want to feel happy again. (long, sorry.)
doblersdream replied to colbysweet's topic in Relationship Advice
Hi I understand exactly how you feel. In my opinion, the balance of control in this relationship has shifted too far in your bf's favour, leaving you insecure, paranoid, and probably deep down, a little a little angry at yourself for allowing this to happen. The reason for it happening i think has more to do with how different you are as people, and how you approach relationships. I won't lie to you - it is going to be hard for you to break this cycle and re-gain an equal level of control in the relationship, but for the relationship to succeed, and for your own happiness, you need to. How you do it is easy in theory. You're going to have to not appear vulnerable or show that you need him and his attention. Let him call you. This is going to be tough for you, but you need to be strong. The strength you gain from this exercise will help you greatly in the future. Make yourself a little unavailable - be a challenge! -
Al I think the nice guy/jerk debate was best summed up in this link ; link removed Quote - "The Nice Guy becomes an emotional tampon to be used and discarded" Enjoy! Phil
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Funny you should post this question. I have a friend who'll never use the urinals in a men's toilets if we're in a bar or club. He'll always use a cubicle, even if he has to wait on one whilst the urinals are free. My other friends and i tease him (although not in a nasty way) but i never really thought that it might be a problem that lots of people have, or have thought too much about why he does it.
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Here's a link to a very informative, and entertaining article, which may help; link removed
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Hi Welcome to eNotalone.com Sorry to hear about the difficulty you're having with your relationship. It sounds as though you already have a very level-headed approach to your predicament. I'm sure you'd agree that you'd rather your gf didn't marry you with doubts in her mind, so i think you should respect her wishes for the time being. The break may be good for both of you to assess what you want from life. My advice would be to occupy yourself, take up a new hobby or interest - basically do whatever is required to get you through. Your priority right now is yourself.
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Ex girlfriend situation
doblersdream replied to jgo1978's topic in Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend Relationships
Hi. I think in this instance you should listen to your friends' advice. They obviously understand the situation better than any stranger can, but from what you have told us, it seems that this girl is acting totally out of self-interest, not caring of the effects her actions have on others. Sounds like trouble to me. I get the impression that deep down you know this, but don't want to admit it. -
Hi Colbysweet Is there any reasons why you think your relationship may end? Has your bf expressed any discontent, or do you think it's just you being afraid of losing a good thing? It's obvious that you have deep feelings for your bf. Only one person in my life have i had that intense, emotional connection with, and i know how intoxicating it can be. It is a fact though, that relationships develop through many stages, and so do your emotions towards our partners. My advice would be to enjoy the moment, every moment, and not think too much about the future. If you love each other, then things will take care of themselves.
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Hi I agree that you shouldn't give up if you think it is against your friend's best in interests to choose this person. On the other hand, you must respect her decision based on all the information she has. In my experience, people almost always do what THEY want to do, and not what others want them to do. In fact, some people are more likely to rebel against what they're being advised. It's a catch-22 situation. You're just gonna have to play it by ear, and be careful that you don't alienate her with your attempts to influence her decision.
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LADIES, IS "COOL OFF" ANOTHER WAY OF SAYING IT'S O
doblersdream replied to cccube's topic in Breaking Up Advice
Hi cccube I'd like to echo everything that sayer7 has said. Please don't make the mistake i made when my ex told me to cool off and give her some space. I thought that i'd done something wrong and pestered her to find out what it was. Of course this only pushed her further away, and we never recovered from that. I eventually did give her space for a few weeks but the damage had already been done. The 'no contact' rule is tough for us guys, but it is the only way. Best of luck! -
Al...I've had a few weekends in Temple Bar, and i know what you mean, but they are every bit as bad in Belfast, especially the newer 'trendy' clubs.
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Yeah, i suppose you're right. I remember a funny story i read on an old post about a guy in a club who saw a beautiful woman at the bar. He walked up and stood beside her in a way that suggested he was about to feed her a line. She looked at him, ready to fend him off, but he said "Don't worry, I'm not gonna try and chat you up". He then turned away and ordered his drink. Apparently she couldn't stop looking at him all night, and before too long, she approached him to make conversation. Don't think i'd ever try a trick like that (my current gf might not be pleased.. ), but it would be fun to see someone else try it.