krnswte143

good job isle! , haha it was a bit hard to read it .

hehe yeah. i'll give a try and see how it goes. and if she doent respond in a nicely way.. all i know is that i tried. it'll be hard tho becus i have something against her.... of her telling my bf i am not right/good person for him that he could do so much better.. to me she wants him to break up w/ me ..making me look like the bad guy... u wanna kno something else....same day she told him this he broke it up w/ me..maybe he broke it up for other reasons but i think this is the reason he did....this was a month ago...but we got back toghther to give another try anyways. but anyways, i'll try to be nice to her and see how it goes.

you guys been together for only 4 month or so...that is like the beginning of learning how u and him are and what u both want.. to proceed and step forward or leave.. u guys should sit down and talk and see where u both stand.. if its going anywhere or if its just going no where. ask him what he really wants.. if he wants to be with u or not.. and ask urself if u want to be w/ him and if he is the one? i mean 4 month its kinda hard to tell where the relationship is going.. for some ppl it takes time to know if the person is the "one" or not.. so my suggestion is...have a serious talk to him and see what he wants and what u want..if u both match and are in the same page..then proceed and step forward. if not then u know what u need to do

you are right. i did told myself to try to be nice and say hi to her again . but wouldnt it be werid if im all of sudden tryin to talk to her? it would be a bit awkard.. but i will try my best. bf did ask me to jus to say hi and dont need t start any convo if i didnt want to.. he says jus to be nice n say hi at least. he doesnt expect me to be her best buddy or anything.. which i dont want too. maybe to the point of being in a good term so we both dont hate each other. hehe

no, i choose not to. i dont like her jus for the fact how she depends on my bf for everything pretty much.. and for thefact she had history w/ my boyfriend...she was cool before but i jus didnt like how she acted. she never says hi to me when i go over his house ( they live toghhter w/ 5 other ppl) if u didnt know. i use to say hi and smile at her but she jus didnt "seem" interested to say hi.. maybe im wrong but thats the vibe i get from her. so i stopped being nice to her and i don say hi to her anymore nor do i even look at her. i try to think she doestn even exisit lol. she doesnt like me either cus for the fact she thinks i have somthing against her past ( her and my bf) basically we both dont like each other. but i still go over his house cus jus he invites me. i spend the night from friday-sunday and leave sunday night. i really dislike leaving the house cus i should be the one staying and her leaving..but as the situation is theres nothin i could do now . i wish i couldve gotten to know her better but it jus happened like this. nothing i can do to change. so now, im just in my world w/ mybf i dont really care about her and what she does anymore. all i know for sure if she wasnt in teh picture..THINGS WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER. bu t i cant tell mybf not to be her friend that would be wrong and selfish of me. so i gotta 1. accept this or 2. just leave.

no, i will never cheat on him w/ my exes or any other guys. im not like that . i know better. as far as how i feel about certain things like him helping out for her.. it makes me feel like they are in a relationship and im just a friend of his. its nice of him to help out people. i have no hard feelings on that. its the feeling that i get sometimes.. like im 2nd best and she is his first prority or what not. maybe i see things differently than her and him.. maybe they think its ok cus nothings goin on...but i see it as if they are not over each other or something. so n e ways i think everything wil ok if i try to understand n see the situation in a big picture.

hehe its okay girl.. it comes to the best of us.. hehe dont worry about it.

Be careful not to project onto him all YOUR insecurities, you asked him, he answered, now trust him.. hehe true i agree with it too. i showed him way too much time of how jealous or insecured i was w/ this situation. but now i look at it and see how foolish and dumb i became. he is still w/ me after all the drama we been through. i guess i won't worry about it anymore. i need to learn to trust him more.. it driven me to the point of snooping around. i confess to my boyfriend of what i done. he understood and siad he isnt hiding anything. he ask me why i did it.. i siad i had to clarify that nothing was going on . but i think everything will be fine now. i got one thing im not too ok w/ .. he helps her out a lot thats how isee it.. he says he known her for so long thats why... should i be ok w/ it?

well, its just myspace.. like any other online site. dont look too deep into it. some ppl jus leave it as it is or change right away... if i was to break up w/ my bf i would change my status right away but as for my bf .. he isnt really into myspace so he leaves his status as is... i mean right now, his status is "single" when he is in a relationship.. at first i looked too deep into it but it came to my mind that it was ridiicous and silly. im sorry u guys broke up but dont care about no online status.. jus go do ur thing n dont bother with it

no, he hasnt really given me any doubts not to trust him.. jus things here and there i wasnt too certain of.. i guess that is how my trust/jealous issue started. i mean they went out so long ago and plus she has a boyfriend... i gues they really see each other as sis/bro....kinda hard to understand....like i posted jus now....they live toghther w/ 4 or 5 other people.. this stil makes me feel uneasy... but i shuldnt worry right

yeah probably so. they live toghether now w/ her sister brother and 2 other roomates...totalling 5 people in a house. i kinda feel uneasy about this still... but since they went out so long ago.. i shouldnt worry right??

hey u guys, i'm back again posting threads about my problems again hehe. anyways, to refresh the story again... bf and his ex went out 13 yrs ago and dated for maybe 2-3 years or something like that. she was his first and im sure for her too. i ask my bf wouldnt the feeling still be there cus since it was their first time toghther. he said as time goes by, those feelings go away and i ask do u have any sexual feelings for her ( as in if he founds her attractive) he said he doesnt have any sexual feelings for her.. he sees her as a sister and he said it feels werid to feel that way... and i also siad i didn't like the feeling how he helps her out alot when she needs.. he said he known her for so long that he jus helps out since he sees her as a sister....and she sees him as a big brother... after hearing this, it kinda made me feel a lot better for some reason. i know i should take his word and believe him until something happens. he says he moved on and she moved on too... so do u guys think i shuoldnt worry about this? Janella

hey thanks for the reply. no, i don't know her personally. i never met her. i heard about her from my boyfriend. but to make story short. over the weekend, i told my boyfriend about this problem. i told him i snooped around 10 month ago and read convo's betweem them. he understood. he didn't get mad or anything. he said he has nothing to hide. i felt bad of what i did.. guess i was being a bit noisy hehe. so he told me the girl is too young for him and that i shouldnt worry. so i think everythings cool now w/ this problem at least.... so im happy one problem is solved. but for the other one... i'm not to sure about ... its w / him and his ex... this one, im still having trouble with.

i agree w/ everyone here... u are right..some guys are just stupid of hiding things and others may be clever....if ur bf didnt give u any reason not to trust him... then trust him.. its hard i know im having same problem now too.. i was lookin for things and makin a big deal out of it....jus let it go.....thats what i did when same thing happen to me.. i let it go.

well, ask him again tonight...and if he says he lost it or anything... then theres much u can do...u cant force him to bring it..it'l start a fight... is tis the first time .....something like this happen??

yeah, ask him again tonite... so u sure the lipgloss isnt urs?? if it isnt then u have the right to ask who it belongs to and why he has it.... prepare for the worst if any... good luck!

hmmm that does sound fishy..... something simliar happen to me too.... bf found a hairband on back of his seat asking if it was mines....i siad no cus i dont use those kind.... n he jus throw it bak to the car. i knew it was his roomates cus i saw the same thing on her...... these are trust issues... i didnt talk to my bf about it.. cus i dont wana show him that i am paranod or dont trust him....jus let it go dear... and if he keeps actin like that then talk to him about it........maybe it was his moms or sisters or his friends...who knows...

ok, i need to talk to someone. im going crazy here!!!! sorry u guys this is so long! if u have time please read ! thx so much!! as i posted this before, its hittin me again. my trust issues are kicking in now. its driving me crazy! i dont know what to do.. let me refresh the story again. there was this girl he had a crush on or dated for short time ( 1 month) this was 2 years ago or so. he told me several month ago that he never went to gf/bf stage w/ this girl and i shouldnt worry. it was some crush that he had. anyways, when i was first dating him ( our 3 month dating) i found a pic frame of a girl on his book shelve. i didn't say anything for a month or two and i finally ask. that is when he told me it was some crush he had. so he put the picture away. so after that everything was cool. up until this year mid march or april.. i was using his computer and i was looking at his chatlogs cus i was reading our old convos we had when we were first dating or something . and i came accross other as well. that is when i found out that he was still talking to this girl or something. they talked a little bit last year and stopped for awhile..and talked again beginning of this year... so anyways he ask her out for a lunch and basically he went out w/ her.. cus i remember him recieving a text from someone saying thanks for lunch! so i knew it was her but i didnt say anything. so anyways few month pass, and i forgot about all this. ( keep in mind, i have her AIM sn on my buddy list).. jus few days ago, she signed on.. and been signing on.. i didnt talk to her or anything.. but now im left a feeling i felt few month ago... im worried that he'l start liking her more and leave me anytime soon.. its really bugging me now... i dont know what to do!! my bf and i been toghhter for a little over an year...and yes we had our ups n downs...more downs cus i was havin similiar issues w/ his ex gf .. im goin crazy!! this is what happen yesterday. i knew he was talking to her online cus he wasnt bein talkactive to me..assuming they had *things* to catch up or it could be he was jus busy at work... anyways, i went a little over-board.. and i ask him, are we goin to hang out this weekend( we always do but i just asked cus in my head i think he wouldnt wan to see me cus his old crush is in the picture) and he said of course we hang out... and i ask him are u sure? he said yes.. and he ask me why? i just said i jus wanna make sure cus i get the feeling u dont want to see me... and he said stuff like this make him sad/mad.. anyways we went on and chat.. so i joked around and said, maybe u should find someone else then who doesnt have issues like me.. and he said if u dont start talking crap then everything will be fine. and said if he wants he could leave...so i said no ones stopping u.. ask him if he is happy.. he said he is unless i dont go werid on him. so the convo ended there. later that night, i was still feeling paranoid...he came online and she was online too.. so i was joking around n said to him, have fun chatting w/ ur other girls n etc etc... anyways, he stayed up late than usual... cus he was talking to her. so i just said have fun chattin w/ ur girlies n homies and i sign off. now, is there something wrong w/ me? cuz i seriously think so.. and i want to add.. she has facebook ( kinda like myspace friendster) he signed up to add her up... i dont know about this.. what if he isnt really over her? do u think he'l leave me for her? so many crazy thoughts!!! or should i just trust my bf more n see if anything happens... or should i jus let this go? by the way the girl is 20 yrs old..and my bf is 33 yrs old now......

oh i see... when did ur gf and her ex broke up? i understand how u feel... i dont like my bf bein friends w/ his ex gf...although they went out decades ago but i just hate it!! but u cant tell someone not to be friend w/ anyone...thats just not right.. its really up to ur gf or my bf to be friends whomever they want..we cant force them not to... only thing u could do is...tell her how u truly feel about their friendship..tell her it bothers u and u dont like it... and its really up to her to b friends w/ him or not.. if she still chooses to be friends w him....will u b ok w/ it? ask urself that... if u cant then u know ur answers.

hahaha interesting i thought about sending an email to my boyfriend and break up w/ him... but anyways, i think u should give time and see how it goes. it seems she needs time/space to find out who she really is and what she really wants.

my question is.. why do u keep accepting her back when she goes to her ex!! that clearly states shes playing the fieild with u and her ex. i couldnt tolerate that if my bf was doing that to me. i would say its either me or him and stop all contact w/ the ex or im out! why would u wanna be in a mess w/ someone who is always goin back n forth to u and her ex? i know u love her so much and u want everything to be ok... but jus by reading that.. i dont know.. i think she'l keep goin back to him and then back to u cus the girl cant make up her mind... i could suggest u and ur gf talk this over...and see how it goes.... i know the feelin cus im in a similiar situation as u...(my bf and his ex) not an easy thing to deal with

hey thanks for the reply! yeah, its a tough one to deal with when ur having trust issues.. u could think about the worst thing that could happen... and the scary thing is... u actually start to believe it!! and then u get all sad mad and u take it all on your boyfriend/girlfriend. Learn to take a little risk without over analyzing. i like this one. nicely put. this is something i need to work on.. i tend to over-think or over-analyze situations. its not good. right now, so many thoughts are just going around in my head.. driving me crazy. and i dont want to seek professional help cus i am not that " crazy" or having serious problem.. i know what my problem is... just a matter of how to deal or work with it.. it'll take some time.. but i hope i could overcome these fears. janella

thanks juliana i'll keep in mind. i'm startin school next year and now i'm just finding other productive things to do to get my mind of these fears. janella

hello all, i'm here like everyone here who are going through the same thing with these thing called, " trust issues". I, myself is going through the same thing with my boyfriend. I need to know what i'm suppose to do to trust him more. i keep getting these ideas that hes going to leave me or is seeing or will see someone... ( we had a lot of arguments/fights like every month or so) so i guess i have a fear he will leave me soon or something... i question on everything he does. i dont know whats wrong with me. i know i had simliar problem with my past relationship...but not so bad as this. i cant ignore my problem i need to face it and work on it. my problem is affecting my relationship and its making me feel very negative about everything.. especially myself. i dont know what im suppose to do. its driving me crazy. Janella

i met my boyfriend at a local club in my city. funny thing is, he isnt a clubbing type and he was dragged out. i ask my boyfriend out. iono if he was interested in me or not.. but we are toghether now for a little over an year.