pregnantkitty_1985
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Everything posted by pregnantkitty_1985
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How much does a picture tell...?
pregnantkitty_1985 replied to I_KicKed_keNNedy's topic in Infidelity
Oh, and, there ain't no thing as a mere 'kiss.' -
How much does a picture tell...?
pregnantkitty_1985 replied to I_KicKed_keNNedy's topic in Infidelity
No. You haven't had sex in two weeks. She obviously has. And lots of it. Hence the raw vagina. Dump the . -
Maybe 16 is too young for an adult nearing 20. Just my opinion. *shrug*
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We're technically still engaged, still have the ring on, but we never made actual physical plans. Most plans we just talked about and most were in my head. Luckily I decided to postpone it until I'm sure he can be trusted and has met my standards. You and everyone else did really help me though, even despite not following everyone's advice to leave. It helped immensely, you'll never know how much.
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A lot of it has to do exes cheating behavior, and my fiance's own behavior in the beginning of our relationship, which we're going to counseling for. I don't mean to be blaming or anything though or not take responsibility for my own faults. We've talked about my insecurity about him/other girls and he just says I'm being paranoid and he doesn't ever look/think about/ or want anyone else but me. Now, I know that is a lie. Everyone here practically said that any man who says that isn't being honest. Or something to that effect. But yeah, I guess we should talk about it some more (in due time, in counseling.)
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I would like to. I'm not sure that marriage is on the horizon anytime soon anymore though. Probably not this year, anyway. We talked and he took out a loan and we're going to counseling like you & others suggested. Maybe there I can learn to trust him (and he can learn to build his character/integrity/honesty). Didn't ever post that outcome because I knew everyone would think I was an absolute idiot for staying with him.
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You've got me worried, heh heh, thank god my fiance doesn't have any female coworkers. And my sister's boyfriend works for my dad, and he only has male employees. I guess we're safe from the coworker fantasies, but if a man's going to fantasize he's going to fantasize, clearly. Even if it's biological though, I wonder if a man can be so loyal to a woman that he wouldn't even fantasize about other women at all? Probably just wishful thinking though. I was originally going to share with my sister the results of this thread, but have decided not to. If I'm this insecure and disturbed by the results, (i.e. I can't handle the truth, I admit to it!) then she'd be even worse.
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I freely admit, yeah I'm insecure. Realistically & practically, I know there is nothing wrong with me, but I still am insecure. Plus, when one says "he's with you, not her" it kind of makes me think, well yeah, that is very true, but maybe that's because he doesn't think he could get with the hotter chick he glances at from time to time, and he better stick with the decent chick he already has. I'd love it if they were honest but at the same time, knowing he checks out other girls would be waaay too much info for me. Then again, I HATE when I KNOW I've seen him check out other girls, and he lies his butt off about it. It's like- 'C'mon. I know. I was there. I even thought she was hot! And I'm straight! What are you, bliiiiind?' But, I don't want to benefit from some other women revving my man's engine! I'm just too insecure. I want to be the only one revving someone's engine. I guess as they say, women are the emotional sorts, and I'd look at it as a sort of betrayal. That's very insightful, and we didn't even think of it like that. That very well may be true. Thanks for the input; must investigate this! Sounds like the premise for a pornofilm.
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I wouldn't want to know either, I would be an insecure wreck. I would feel horrible. I would prefer to live in my own little idealistic world where he "doesn't ever, ever, look." Heh.
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But do all men fantasize about others? It kind of seems like you're saying, they do have the urge to cheat, (or, have sex with other women), but instead fantasize about it to get it out of their system so that they won't cheat. Is it really that hard not to cheat? To have to do such things to prevent one from doing so? Is there anyone who doesn't fantasize about others? I don't. I'm not saying I don't fantasize, I'm saying I don't fantasize about other people. Just wondering what people's thoughts are, I'm not trying to come off as argumentative or anything. Isn't it possible for some men (even if there's a small percentage) to not fantasize about others? Maybe some men are fantasizing about their S.O and crazy sexual things they want to do but probably won't end up doing.
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I can't help but think "I should be enough for him." I know it's not popular opinion here, but I'm open and honest about that. I can't for the life of me change my mind or how it's wired. Just wondering, when you "looked" were you fantasizing about having sex with these women, even if briefly? Or was it just a look to appreciate a pretty sight, like seeing a fine piece of art? Wondering if you can fill me in with your male point of view. Tell me what's going on in the male mind. I am sorry that your wife cheated, by the way. There's nothing I can say to that other than, that completely sucks, and I think most of us here understands how bad that feels. How about when it's hot in the bedroom and hot in the non-sex department too, and the guy still wants some strange? See, my sister's boyfriend's friend loves his girl, and there's nothing wrong in the non-sex department, but he's bored in the sex department, and said he wants to have sex with someone else. Why?? It just doesn't make sense to me. Why couldn't he have her do something different, like dress up and act some fantasy out or something? Why does it have to be some other person??? Just wondering if you could explain that too, from your male point of view. Reason why I'm specifically asking you is because you seem pretty intelligent and for some reason (don't ask me why, not sure, mainly just based upon your above post, which was good & informative) I think I'll get a more honest/detailed explanation from you. Of course others are also welcome to answer.
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There's no such thing as any man who loves his partner and never thinks about sex with other women? I'm not talking about a mere glance at a hot girl, I'm saying, there's no men who, even if they look at another girl, DON'T think about having sex with her when they've got an S.O.?
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This is kind of what I've gathered from everyone's responses: (correct me if I'm wrong) That even if a guy loves you and will never, ever cheat on you, he's still going to want to have sex with other women. Even if he doesn't act upon those urges. And, even if a guy loves you and won't cheat on you, he will eventually get bored of sex with you and want to have sex with others. Even if he doesn't. And he will likely fantasize about it even if he doesn't cheat. And then that brings me to this: I guess that means even now my man is in the next room fantasizing about women other than me? And my sister's boyfriend is fantasizing about the girls he sees on tv and girls he sees in real life that my sister thinks he's checking out? And there's nothing we can do, because it's inevitable? And even if they swear up and down that they're not, they really are? And then, according to DayWalker, if our men get bored of sex with us, there's nothing we can do to spice it up and get him interested in it again? Now all of this is just depressing. It makes you think, why bother if they're going to end up getting tired of us and either A) end up cheating or leaving for some other girl they'd rather have sex with, because you're an old used condom, or B), stay with us out of 'love' but stop being sexually interested in us and instead resort to fantasy women. How, um, hopeful for everyone's futures.
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Well, this doesn't have anything to do with him, my post was just based on a conversation my sister and I had. And I made a generalization that "all men look at other women" that everyone elses' reponse seems to support, even yours. I didn't say all men are guilty until proven innocent! Just that, I believe all or most men look. Though mine claims he doesn't, I don't believe that for a second. The difference between these guys here, and my boyfriend and my sister's boyfriend is that these guys here are honest. Reasons I don't cheat include: I don't have the desire to, I really DON'T fantasize about sex with other guys, and like Batya said, it would be inconsistent with my self image. I wonder if I'm some sort of genetic anomaly or something, or just strange, because I'm very monogamous even mentally, I don't have the urges to have sex with other guys and don't fantasize about it. And everyone else seems to think that it's normal and that everyone does it. Not me though. Is there something wrong with me ?
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When to use kegels during sex??
pregnantkitty_1985 replied to herewegoagain's topic in Sex and Romance
Actually, men have PC muscles too. And they can do PC exercises to learn control, (keep themselves from coming too soon), among other things. -
I see you live in England, in England the age of consent is 16, correct? This is a tough situation to be in. If it were me, I would have smacked the crap out of my brother for being such an idiot. Not to mention he has taken advantage of a minor and that's something I will always feel strongly about. Your brother will likely tell you to stay out of it but it's for his own good that he cease relations with this girl immediately. It's not right and he could be looking at prison time. I would say something to him. It might not be what everyone else is advising, but I definitely would have something to say about it. Normally, your brother's 'relationships' wouldn't be your business, but when it's an underage girl and he's over the age of consent, then you have the right to say something. It's illegal and it's wrong.
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Update-Lack of sex with BF-we had a talk!
pregnantkitty_1985 replied to FarandAway's topic in Relationship Advice
Throw him down like he did to you. Then don't take no for an answer. Make him want it. No, I'm not suggesting rape him! I'm just saying, I wonder if that's what he meant when he said he's used to girls initiating things. Full force. It'll probably make him feel much better about himself if his low self esteem is the problem. Hope you will give that a try, and see how that goes. -
Allow me to add to Kellbell's post... She said never stay in a marriage just for the kids, the kids will adjust and learn. This is especially true when the children are a younger age such as your son. They will however be confused, so it's your duty to make sure your son knows you're still there for him and love him. Don't neglect him in this process, please.
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Things don't sound so good, and you need to stand up for yourself. Divorce might be the necessary and right step for you. I don't know the entire story of course, so I can't properly advise, but it does sound like divorce is the right option (especially if you no longer love her, and she is clearly abusing you!) Where do you live? Depending on where you live, you can get divorced without her permission. I live in NC, USA, and one person can serve papers and the other can sign or not sign, it doesn't matter, after a certain amount of time the divorce will be granted.
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By the way- this is completely irrelevant but- Caro & others who are talking about Muse... I loooooooooooooooove Muse. Caro, I knew there was a reason why you were so cool other than just the great advice you give.. You're so lucky you get to see them. I hope you post and brag about it afterwards.
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My guy claims that he doesn't look at porn or want porn, and gave away the 3 tapes he had to a friend when we first started dating. He's rarely ever on the computer but when he is, everything's deleted. Hmmm. After reading what Doyathink said I am a bit suspicious. Though he is nosy and looks at what sites I've been on so maybe that's why everything's deleted. When he is on the computer, it's not like he has enough time to go masturbate or anything, or enough time to close off the screens before I enter the room, so I think he's probably not, but, ya never know. If I wasn't around I'm sure it would be a temptation. I'm not anti-porn nor a prude, but I admit, I'm insecure, (so what, heh). I don't like it when guys I date look at it, and I always make it known before any commitment that they can't watch porn if they want to be with me. If they don't like that, it's perfectly fine, they can just go find someone who is cool with it. No big deal. I just couldn't handle the insecurity (honestly, it would be traumatic and devastating to my self esteem!) and I freely admit it, judge if you'd like, anyone. My sister and I were talking today and she said that she and her guy made their own personal 'porno' because she doesn't let him watch porn or masturbate (heh). She said she'd rather him masturbate to her on tape than some skank on tape. I agree, we're probably quite insecure, but it really doesn't make a lot of women feel too great. So, anyway, point is, I understand how the original poster feels. I know some girls are okay with their men watching porn, and that's cool. But I would probably be overwraught with insecurities. Don't know why, I guess it's just how I am and how my thought processes are.
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Just wondering if you'd clarify something for me. When you said "he wants to have sex with other girls because it's all new/new accomplishment"- was that referring to my sister's boyfriend's friend or all guys in general? Just wondering, wasn't sure. You say that most guys think like this. Should my sister and I be worried then? What do women do to prevent this? You're a guy so you probably could tell me. Appreciate the input, guys.
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That's a good way of putting it- the metaphorical 'window shopping.' Thanks for the input. I guess I find it hard to think like these guys do. I don't generally think like that. I might at times be slightly bored with it but don't actively seek out other men to look at or want to have sex with. Thanks for your explanation and good luck on your relationship.
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I'm aware some girls feel like that too, but I'm limiting this to guys because as a straight girl with a man, I would like to know, as would my sister. Hence the post. I guess girls could post if they'd like but I'm interested in a guy's perspective.
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My sister and I were talking today and she was telling me sometimes she thinks her boyfriend is checking out other girls subtly. She said she wasn't sure if she was being paranoid and insecure and he usually tells her that it's not what she thinks, and so on. He's a good guy who doesn't generally drool over other chicks and would (as far as we both know) never cheat on her, and is very respectful of her. She said that sometimes she sees a hot girl and doesn't know if it's because SHE thinks she's hot that makes her feel her guy must as well, and always looks to see if HE'S looking. Same thing with a hot girl with quote, "her boobs hanging all out" on the television. As the big sis, I explained to her that what she feels is perfectly normal. A lot of us girls feel like this. I also told her as a general rule that he's probably lying when he says he wasn't looking or noticing the hot girl. But it doesn't mean he's going to cheat. I also told her, hey, I understand how you feel, because even if my guy wouldn't cheat, I still am very bothered if I think I see him noticing another girl. I don't think he should but of course, no one can control anyone's eyes or mind. What bothers her even more was that her boyfriend's friend told him, "man, I love my girl to death and everything, but stuff (sex) is getting routine and kinda boring. I want some strange." If he loves his girl, why does he want some "strange"? (For anyone who doesn't understand, that means um, someone elses vagina, ya know, sex with a different girl.) Do ALL guys think like this, even if they would never actually go cheat? Do all men get bored from time to time and want sex with other girls, even if they wouldn't actually do it? My sister and I also discussed the importance of switching it up some in the bedroom, though that's hard when you've done practically everything. She is slightly worried he may become bored of her and tries to use a lot of variety. Didn't' know my lil sis was such a freak, but big sis is proud. Anyhow, thoughts on this matter please.