Mightyxpro

Well im done focusing..I think it was a mis hap...I don't think i want to involve myself with cutting anymore..I'm done thinking about it..For sure. See most ppl cant give up a habit....but i can.. I don't need the coaching.. "I think its time to open my eyes and take the sunglasses off and realize that the sun will only change your outer appearance"-MightyXpro By that i mean , throw the sharp objects away and step outside and do something in your life..Make something of it.Challenge yourself with something..not a knife..everyone can do that..The challenge in life is to get punched on the ground a few times and get back up and beat those next odds. If there is one thing that i have learned while living here in NY is that, The only person that is close to you is either a sibling or a best friend... -Just get outside and save someone ( be the hero) Be cheered for. And know that once you do leave this beautiful earth you know that you left a little bit of your courage behind..Than after you have completed all of that , than and I mean than, look back for a brief second and think, (*jessh i was cutting myself and injuring myself for no reason for -nothing-. There is so much to do.....I cant stress that anymore. Here is one thing that I have come up with if all else fails.... 1) If i think that i cant make it at home or at work or at anything, and i feel like my life is going down the drain..Like where talking about to go do drugs and or take someones life or your own..GO to the military..b.c they will one straighten you out, And two give you the chance to make something of your life.. Well this is what i have been thinking..I hope that what I have said as impacted some people out there..Ill remind you people that no-one and or anyone is perfect..I'm 19 and I know I can Change..*Remember change is normal*.

I think it was out of bored'ism. Ouch...So yea.....

Well now Im here.. I recently was a counselor on link removed and i helped probably around 25 ppl in 2 years with there problems, concerns, issues, the struggles and the fighting..Well after being a very helpful person all there thoughts and knowledge rubbed off on to me....Like the other day i was working with my construction job , and we where using corner bead(aluminum cornering) for walls that are just drywall and need structure to hold them together for a tight and smooth looking wall) anyhow i took a piece of it and cut my arm 6inches back from my wrist..and i cut it horizontally...its about 3 inches wide... It bleed a bit..Than i made another unnecessary cut ....I dont feel like hurting myself...I use to be the one to give out the right tips....Was helping all these ppl a bad idea( i know i made the idea to help them..Thats what i want to do.. I want to help everyone......did i go into a state of mind( that i took there problems and added them on to me.......this happened like 6 days ago. The only reason I think...its b.c i work 75-80hrs every week.. Like the construction job i do 60hrs and Mc doanlds i do 20hrs.....But see i cant just stop b.c i need to be up and moving...Do you guys/gals have any tips...Btw i don't drink, smoke or do drugs...Im a clean virgin kid.(literally and metaphorically) M

Allright thanks..She told me to go F-myself..and i said yea now i dont want to be with you..bye. I m just done..im tired and i just sick of it...so nighty , thanks though Charley for you input and effort, you really did help me out..

I'm breaking up with her...She cheated on me. yea thats right I m to strong to cry about this...Ill just keep on being myself until i find the "one"

nonono, i would never ever call or text her to dump her...Thats what you call lazy. i want to see what she is gonna really feel when she looses me in person....Ive had it up to here with this ...She can think im gay , she can think that its my fault that im going to loose her.she can think w.e she wants about me...I just don't wanna be with her. and thats final...Sometime today or tomorrow I'm dumping her...She can cry her eyes out....but I will feel no sympathy for her. AS she is doing right for me.. BTW: When I said in the beginng that being 16 is too young, I meant it in a way that she is too young for that age,..There was a another 16 yr old i was with and she fit me just right,but that ended short cause of school...Shes top honor roll student..So i didnt want to intend into her life and make her get mediocre grades..But thats that., M

Thanks everyone for helping me through this process. I called her up tonight and she was soo drunk...and high.....Im done here guys and gals with her...Im just gonna tell her in person that once again you messed it up..There is no 3rd chance with me thats it..im sorry..And im just gonna walk away.. I don't even feel like crying cause it wont help me at all, no shoulder to cry on so why bother.....if anything i just wanna think about my real issue...Finding a girl out there and her not being pushy towards me...Thats all..Is that too much..well goodnight everyone..im gonna go dream about my dream girlfriend... .

OMG my best friend...Ace just called me up and told me that he just saw her with 2 other guys and her best friend...IM soo gonnn dump her azzz...and She was caught smoking ...THis is all FREAKIN OVER>>>>>IM SOO OUTTA HERE!@ GOnna play Pool at the pool house..>OMG I DONT believe THIS * * * *!!!!!!!!!!

My bad...Its been horrible day ..I think my gf is gonna cheat on me...And you know what...im not gonna feel sad at F"ING ALL!..B.c i think she is wanting to go back to her old bf....She doest answer my text's ,my phone calls...and doesnt give a spit to what i feel..... I AM SOOO MAD RIGHT NOW>!!!!!!!!!!!!!If I was suicidal, i would have cut myself..but im not...

Well for the last three days now, I have been driven home by my boss to his house..And the touter for my gf has come over...My Boss I sit on the couch and watch war movies( which i like and he does to) So anyhow every time the touter leaves after 2 hrs of being in the house my gf comes over to the couch were my boss and I are sitting...Well anyhow the 1st day her and I sat there and watch a movie(cheaper Dozen) with her father and mom..Now if you have been reading my statements before...>This is the day after she asked me if i was gay....>Anyhow I only hugged her goodbye once i left the house... The second day./....everything happened like before,but i hugged her with a tighter grab( and said "its great to have you" .....She smiled.. Today is the third day...Well everything happened again like before., But this time ,as I was laying on the couch watching the movie "We Are Soldiers" ...She got a bit closer to me and finally after moving like 3 times she put her hand out and tried looking for my hand...Now picture this....I'm laying like a T except the T is turned 90 Degrees Counter clock wise staring at the T.V...Well anyway she grabbed my hand and she couldn't see my face,,but i smiled. Anyhow her mom got home these past three days at 7:45pm. As all of us r on the couch her mom and dad both get up and walk away..((And I took some advice from you guys and gals that have been talking to me on ENotAlone..And i used my judgment..... So i grabed her hand and took it and move it to my stomach...(so than she keeps her hand really loose like you could swing it like it was like a feather))..so as i still have a grip...i slowly move it further down to my no-no spot and as im pushing her hand closer on my smooth skin..(i shave down there) she puts her hand on my skin and slowly is taken for ride to the no-no-spot...and than she moves it away really slow..and than quick..and she smiles So for me to show her that I'm not gay and that I do think normally is not hard at all for me to accomplish.She also asked me on the 1st day why i always whine and ask why all the time and ask questions....And i stop that.....That was a act...I was just trying something new....It didn't work obviously...But Thats all i can change over night. Like i said I"m not being pressured to prove anything to her...its just me doing what i feel is necessary for the You and I factor. M

Charley: Besides, do you really want to lose your virginity to a girl who has no class, and little or no kindness? She sounds like zero class to me. Yuck. )))))))))))I( totally agree on this one...I havent come to 19 to loose it to that...I Just want to be treated Equally...Thats all...Im not picking the right girl for my parents ,only for me..Im not proving to anyone that i have the best gf in the world, just me...Is there anyone out there that cant not agree.. Btw her parents love the heck outta me. They say that im the best thing in her life...And that if i were to be dumped or vis versa than things for her would actually crash and burn down for her...So Here right now this morning, i just cant see myself with her...But really im here for her soo that she can pass 11th grade and she can go to be a lawyer..Shes taking law class..Shes smart, but not smart in the relationship.....Shes just been torn and smacked in most of her bf's and i feel like im gonna be the big man and show her that there are normal guys out there that don''t drink, smoke, and dont abuse just to have fun.. But than again i dont wanna deal with this just cause she thinks that shes gonna take my virginity

Juliana: See,. the problem is that yes.,She has had the abusive bf's and yes they have always been very much aggressive.. She told me about a week ago, that (me) she is looking for a different type of bf(me) and so with picking me she wants a bf that can love her.And treat her like a queen(like her one and only) ...But I dont think she knows what she wants...Im the nice guy, and shes the mean one....I give her alot of respect..and on the down side when were in front of ppl, she puts me down.like words(ex...B -word h-o-e bag ) and than she says thats how we talk...( i say, if i cant call you that(which i wouldn't) its not fair( shes like well thats cause I'm aloud to....I'm like oh ok thats fooked up..She than likes to state, well thats cause I know whats right..I than just sit there...(((((((((((((man i think I'm just to nice..)))))))))))))

icemotoboy: your right...Well i dont wanna have sex with her...In a relationship it best to know the person..Rather than jumping on her...and knowing that eventually the relationship will go sour..>Sex is the main reason why most couples dont last long in the beginning....So I think finding her insecurity's and making her feel like my world is the right idea. I just want her to feel safe without knowing that i have to say hay baby your gonna be safe......

Yea i mean...I keep on looking back at the whole picture..And i don't need this..like I thinking every time i go to her house what am i gonna do to make her think that i don't hate her...b.c she yells and scream at her parents...now i work for her dad and hes the best dad i have ever seen..their so nice to her like me...she gets involved with the bad things and loves i mean loves to make drama...I just want to not have that...She tells me she loves me..But when i want to ask her something, she kockin a attitude really quick, and than replies by saying that its b.c she hasn't had sex since she had her last b4. She Snaps a attitude's with her parents.. She has no respect for her parents and i think its starting to rub on to me. Like 1hr ago she asked me if i would "care" if she went to the clubs with her friends/////She has freaking MONO.....Stay home get better.....I don't understand anymore...She wont listen to her parents..Just recently i broken out with acne all over my chest , b.c of all this stress..I'm putting all my energy into her..just trying to make her feel better about herself.( cause of MONO and her past bf's)..I cant do this anymore..I'm gonna literally fall apart..I about to give up forever and not touch her and be around her....I m getting very self weak(mentally) I think about her and than she just turns around and says im gay..........Im gay....Yea im gay b.c you make me feel like crap.....I cant get close to you b.c you have mono...AAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DeviousOne: I do want my girl to be able to take care of her stress. Let me tell you...My life is simple...All i want in a girl is... Honesty..Trust...(laughable person) ,Great Goals...and a career(. I want her to take her own stress(simple things and fix them) the big ones ill help her with. Like I'm really laid back..and i don't get mad over things..cause that creates stress obviously and thats something that make you pull hair and makes you depressed after a certain amount of time.. She tries to make me mad on person....( like just now ...I was one phone....She called up her friend(mat) my buddy that i work with...and said that i said that im better at my job..and she made it up to make me mad...... I' m Frustrated..