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BrokenHeart82

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  1. BrokenHeart82
    Thanks..glad im not alone...the dates happened about 5 weeks in (its 2.5 months now) and he shortly after confirmed i am his GF, we've done things together, hung out with the fam, etc. As I said last time it turned out nothing was wrong and he thanked me for being so patient with him and showed me his appreciation for being so calm and adult about it. What he doesnt know is i was secretly freaking that he was going to break up with me..but instead we got closer (so glad i didnt freak out). I get a great vibe from him through contact and time together...but still i think im getting to best of myself..need to just sit back and cool it.
  2. BrokenHeart82
    So i have a couple issues going on with the guy ive been seeing..he is busy with his infant son..so i dont hear much those days. Usually though he has contacted me either in the morning, evening, or both to say hi, miss you, thinkin of you, etc This morning, I decided i would initiate a good morning text..this was 9 am..its past 12..not one damn word. It doesnt bother me much, but I cant help but analyze something is wrong even though last time it turned out hes just busy at work (salesman for a large corporation) and couldnt get back to me..no biggie. SO how do I chill out? I think part of the reason I freak is im paranoid...for two reasons...number one he still has his online profile up, but hidden..but i see him go on it as recently as last week (although i was on too so he could argue that...ive since removed mine) Second reason..a few weeks ago when he was being flaky and uncertain i went on a couple dates (nothing happened, save a quick peck) and I worry somehow he will find this out and hate me though I had been told by him he was unsure and we hadnt officially become exclusive.
  3. BrokenHeart82
    Ahhh the Rabbit..its bliss..with this device not only did i have great solo orgasms but found that when i was with my partner that i had better ones...maybe it was the getting used to g spot stimulation.
  4. BrokenHeart82
    This is the reassurance I needed that I am doing the right thing. I realize that I AM AN ADULT..if I dont want to drive 45 minutes..I simply DONT HAVE TO. If im feeling taken for granted, i have to take my part in it..it isnt just him taking me for granted, its also ME putting myself out there on a platter. Blender you are right in that I cant let my hurt feelings distort reality...and the reality is, if im not happy with what im doing in this relationship, then i simply need to adapt my behavior...which is why i simply suggested he come up. When he responded "maybe"..i know in years past i wouldve fired back "ya know, since i HAVE done ALLLL the driving the past 6 weeks!" but now I am at a place where I can just let it go. I should say also that he doesnt have the baby today and he wouldnt have him next weekend (id never make him choose me or his son!) I put the idea out there, he knows im open to seeing him next weekend and now its his place to act on it. You cant bully a man to do more for you or like you more..pushing will only force the opposite affect (wow i have come so far in the past year!). So I think now, that i will probably get plans for next weekend (as i said not hard to do with my schedule!) At some point he will probably miss my presense (maybe!!) and as youve said suggest me coming down but as ive said i wont again until he makes an effort..i cant compromise myself!
  5. BrokenHeart82
    No ex wife, this is a girl he basically had a two week stand with..but i get your point. One of the ways I best offer my support is by not over contacting, and keeping busy in my own life (easy to do, i have alot on my plate as well!) So if i happen to text and dont hear back i just consider him to be busy as sometimes i am too busy to respond to him. The only reason i asked so far in advance is to put the idea out there..so that it does get to be next week and he asks "so can you come down this weekend and we'll do this and that." and I get mad or resentful at him making that suggestion. So the idea is out there now and if i dont hear from him about it by midweek next week i will make other plans for myself.
  6. BrokenHeart82
    I should also add that I am being supportive by coming to see him but i have been careful not to just become his shoulder to cry on with family woes. He is kind and pretty generous to me when i come down (dinner, movies, nights out) but for us both to integrate into EACHOTHERS life we should both be putting forth effort. Perhaps he has been spoiled..but i dont text unless he texts or call unless he calls usually as we are supposed to be in the courting stage (only his butt aint courtin! in much of a traditional sense anyhow.) I stay pretty low key but frankly im tired of the drive and now multiplied by his lack of interest in coming to see me, im hurt.
  7. BrokenHeart82
    Kell and Annie, thanx! I AM nice to him...I appreciate that he is trying to be a good father...but im beginning to realize that what I need is a good PARTNER. In the past couple weeks (starting with the impending mediations) he has only called me maybe 2 times and only to confirm plans. It is nice and makes me feel wanted that he desires to see me, but as a self respecting woman i have to question that if he really truly wanted to see me (and is capable) he should be wanting to visit me and make that effort. As for this weekend (he is at his parents as mentioned) I already have great plans with family tonight and friends over the weekend. As for next week, I have had to reason with myself that there is NO reason for him not to be willing (and from my end happy to) to drive to see me and spend some time in my neck of the woods...so even if it means not seeing him two weekends in a row, so be it...it is better to find out NOW that he is not open to a fair relationship then to wear myself down driving down there twice a week only to become more resentful. I am glad that you have reassured me that I am not being overly judgmental..in my opinion i have given him my best and been very supportive but in a true relationship, both partners must be willing to give.
  8. BrokenHeart82
    Ive written before about the guy Ive been seeing for 2.5 months. In the first few weeks we took turns driving to eachother as we live 45 minutes apart approximately. Then, he had issues with his babies mother as well as the baby being sick, etc and (without question) I began doing the driving as his situation was so unpredictable. So for the last 6-7 weeks Ive done all the driving once or twice a week and we've grown closer. I have met his best friends, gone on group dates with him, met his family....and he has met nobody in my life. In the beginning he expressed a want to meet my friends but then all this went down and this hasnt happened. Anyhow, I wont see him this weekend as he will be at his parents with his son all weekend. I heard from him last night when he texted so he's keeping in touch. This morning i sent a text wishing him a good morning and a good day. I said "Ive been thinking, next weekend you could come up my way and we could do dinner at my place or maybe go out in the city" His response was "maybe" and then nothing else. I am a little hurt as ive done all the driving to support him in his time of need and i thought that he'd be happy to come up my way. Now that mediations are done and his schedule is more stable i want to continue our relationship but with both of us putting forth half the effort with driving to visit. Im not sure how to take his cool response?
  9. BrokenHeart82
    Actually it doesnt sound like female ejaculation to me which form my understanding and personal knowledge is more of a clear fluid which is "squirted out". With it being thick and whitish like "mens cum"..I think this probably has more to do with lots of foreplay, lots of wetness as another poster said and the time of your cycle. During you 28 day cycle, your vaginal secretions change. DUring the beginning and end your secretions become thicker, stickier, whitish in color. During ovulation the secretions are thinner, and almost "stringy" which helps sperm get where they are intended to go.
  10. BrokenHeart82
    SO Ive been with this guy about 2.5 months. Im starting to have genuine feelings for him..dont know if I can call it love yet, but yes Im in like We're into this weird phase the past couple weeks where we are always saying how we miss eachother. When we part ways theres this awkward pause..it feels like we want to say more then bye..and we often come back for more then one round of goodbyes and kisses and he'll always ask "will you miss me? Im going to miss you." Just curious if anyone is familiar with the pause Is he like me, starting to feel something? Im sorry if i sound so naive...
  11. BrokenHeart82
    9 week relationship...for the first 3-4 weeks I went over to his place after Tuesday night classes. The 5th and 6th weeks i started staying over and driving home in the morning (no no dirty minds lol) Then we had a bump in the road...i complained about the drive down there just to go to sleep. Since then he hasnt been asking me to come down..but if i ask he wants me to come down. Anyway tonight i have class and want to stop by after..BUT i saw him thursday-saturday afternoon and then he had his son the last two nights. Should i suggest stopping by or is that me chasing him too much?
  12. BrokenHeart82
    I do appreciate his generosity..but i kinda miss my place, my hometown..and he hasnt met ANY of my friends or family while Ive met at least 10 of his friends and all of his immediate family. Im wanting to see him too, i miss him when we dont get together but i dont want to become too much on him combined with his other issues right now. For instance, id love to see him tonight...but after spending thursday-saturday together and him having his son the past three nights...i dont know if i should suggest it or leave it to him to suggest me coming down.
  13. BrokenHeart82
    One more thing..is there any way for me to encourage him to try to see me more or do I just need to ride it out and deal until the situation with his son is more settled?
  14. BrokenHeart82
    Ok, its been 9 weeks with my current guy. We live about 40 minutes about which is a decent drive. It should be noted that he has been having some major issues the last 6 weeks with child custody, etc...and so i'm sure it has been out of the question for him to make the drive. In the 9 weeks, hes made the drive twice..i have done the rest..both of his trips were in the weeks before the custody battles. Its getting a little hard (the traveling, plus the added cost of gas actually) and im not sure how to approach this topic. Here is where im taking issue I think...I dont think he appreciates the effort im making by driving down. I mean he is always happy to see me, greets me with a drink or something to eat. Takes me out when I visit, etc...BUT he seems to think nothing of asking me down there. Now yes this means he wants to see me, misses me, wants me next to him..but this is the example. I didnt see him on Vday as he had his son, but he wished me a happy v-day. The next day he contacted me and told me he missed me and would love to see me that night (i was off work the following day). I came down to visit, we had some drinks and watched a movie and cuddled up which was nice. In the morning, he had work...i took my time getting ready and locked up behind myself, and drove home. ABout two hours later he texted flirty messages and then asked me if i would be willing to come down that night as his check had deposited that morning and he wanted to take me out. He took me to a really nice dinner and drinks and dancing and it was great. I stuck around till midafternoon the next day and we had a nice time hanging around. Is this just a case of him being unable to come see me but trying to see me as often as possible or is he being unfair to me?
  15. BrokenHeart82
    Angel, probably not what you want to hear but if he was "just comin rnd for sex" he would probably opt to come around to someone closer. Hes making an effort to see you 2-3 times a week..his effort, his gas money, his time.....and you are going to end up coming off to him an ungrateful (huge turn off!)
  16. BrokenHeart82
    Batya, he invited me to his parents Sunday..this past Monday actually and I told him id get back to him on it...thats why i brought it up. Yes I agree, too much texting probably isnt a good thing..ill try to make an effort to give him a call during the week in the future to catch up rather then relying on impersonal texting.
  17. BrokenHeart82
    I agree i called too much...normally wouldnt be how i wouldve reacted...week moment I suppose. Had a need to know my position..justified it with the memory that when i was busy with family issues a few weeks back and he couldnt get to me he texted and called numerous times but shouldnt have justified it. I agree KellBell that sounding wishy washy is a turn off to either sex..so i decided to take your advice and clearly state my position (thanks!) Actually on Monday i sent him a text that just said I knew he was going to have a rough couple of weeks, that i was here is he needed me and that he was in my thoughts. He addressed that in his text this morning, that he is thankful of y support and understanding. FOr now he is busy so ill fill my time with other things...i was just thrown for a bit because of the whole awkward bf/gf thing a couple weeks ago.
  18. BrokenHeart82
    I wrote yesterday about my guy of 2 months who wanted to be exclusive but not ready for "emotional committment and giving every moment to eachother" boyfriend/girlfriend thing. Then a week later he intro'd me as GF and gave me the wink wink hand squeeze. I havent brought the BF/GF thing up at all since it happened two weeks ago. He is fighting for full custody of his infant son and to file papers this week, also busy with work (we talked about this last we spoke). Soooo yesterday he told me he'd text but no word for 3 hours after "text ya in a bit!" I send a text "you okay" and get "call ya in a bit!" I go to my class and then its about 9 so i call and he sounds sweet and says "hey babe! can i call you right back?" I say sure...i know he had the baby that night so i texted "Listen, i know you have the baby tonight and an early morning, just calling to see how youre doing! If you give me the address id like to stop by on sunday" 30 minutes later he texts "I definitely want you to come down!" (his parents house) This morning he text me the address and says "thanks for being so understanding, i will tell you all about whats been going on the last two days, i really miss u!" So was i overreacting and he is just in a whirlwind with work, taking care of his son, and trying to get custody? Also did i come on too strong last night?
  19. BrokenHeart82
    Well the first time he brought it up I sort of brushed it off..but now he's brought it up again and was more persistent this time...telling me about sexual tension between us. Kell...NOPE! This is a guy ive known for over a year as friends...I suggested us getting together a couple weeks before I met and dated the guy I posted about yesterday! Its only been recently that hes brought up the friends with bene's situation.
  20. BrokenHeart82
    I have been friends with a guy who I met on eharmony over a year ago. We met, we liked eachother...I discovered I wasnt ready yet for a serious committment. We stayed friends, talk pretty regularly and have been there over this past year for eachothers dating trials and tribulations. At the end of the day we just get along really well and make eachother laugh. Over the course of the year he's tried to date me numerous times but ive either been dating someone, not ready to date, or just scared to lose such a great friendship. About 2 months ago we were both single (him more recently then myself) and I mentioned that maybe we hadnt given US a chance. He agreed but said that he is so busy right now he doesnt have time for a girlfriend (and hes still hurting from his ex). I said thats fine and we stayed friends. Now twice TWICE....in the past couple weeks he's brought up a friends with benefits type situation. I feel so disrespected...he loves me friends wise as i do him...he wont date me...but he wants to just bang me? How can that NOT extinguish the friendship? I just feel so mad that he'd want to ruin our friendship for sex but not even give US a chance a couple months ago.
  21. BrokenHeart82
    Yeah I figured my answer would get misinterpreted, which is why I came back to check on the thread. Hes the father so yes he has a say..im not condoning running to an abortion clinic and terminating a pregnancy with him none the wiser. Simply saying that if she wants a baby she should be doing anything in her power to assure a healthy pregnancy...instead of stressing about his actions. I am not trying to be insensitive at all..I feel for the poster...shes lost a child, shes pregnant again and probably dealing with both the fear of this babys future health AS WELL as fears dealing with lack of support (emotional and otherwise) from the father.
  22. BrokenHeart82
    This might not be a popular answer or the one im looking for..but YOUR MAN should not influence whether or not you have a child. Are you ready? Are you willing to do what it takes to ensure the best possible chances of a healthy pregnancy? DO you want this baby? His actions are weak, he doesnt seem at all supportive (and then again, not to excuse him, but he may be being unsupportive because he is depressed of his last childs passing?) But when it comes down to it, YOU need to be responsible. Stop the smoking, no excuses...if you are pregnant and still not willing to stop, YOU are the selfish one, not him.
  23. BrokenHeart82
    It was very casual for the first 6 weeks which is why im going nuts here. I wanted it to be slow..very slow. but I dont want to be seeing his family and son if this is a nothing relationship to him..I dont feel i should be put in that situation. Im not a nanny afterall! I dont think im pushing...in fact several weeks ago he mentioned how he did most of the calling/texting and that i could contact him too. I have, but maybe once a week will I initiate calling. I just dont know if i should even continue to bother....
  24. BrokenHeart82
    Kell...I got "gunshy" because he had asked me to stop by if I could. So when i found a way I could and asked him i thought he'd be happy. Not say "K" to me asking how his day was and suggesting me stopping by. I guess im more then a little ticked off..i dont feel like im getting enough attention from him. I know he has a child and that is priority number one but...if he wants to be with me he could show it a little. its so confusing as he made many girlfriend references until he actually asked and I said yes (the next night officially) then he backed down but then when we went out the following weekend he intro'd me as his girlfriend with a smile and a hand squeeze which i took to mean he did want this. Argh! This should not be so confusing.
  25. BrokenHeart82
    Maybe..I dont know It was after a day with his son (first time id met the baby) and he introd me to everyone as his girlfriend and had "warned" ahead he was gonna do this. On the way to his parents I asked if I was his girlfriend and he said "thats what I want!" Then we got to his parents and he said wed talk the next day and i agreed. Next night i bring it up and he says that he likes me and wants to be exclusive but not ready for the emotional tie of boyfriend girlfriend. This upset me as id wrapped my mind that we were going to the next level. We have seen eachother twice since this a week ago and like i said he invited me to his parents house and out the following weekend....but then there was the not saying i love you awhile thing and then not hearing from him all day yesterday when he said hed text (which takes??? 2 seconds?) and now this? Im wondering if i should just NC him and move on... Is he interested, not interested, busy with the child, having second thoughts?
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