BrokenHeart82

Saw the exs new GF last night..she came to the same store as me. She definitely knew who i was and was miserable...kept snapping at her mom who was with her saying finally loudly "I just want to leave, i dont want anything...i just want to GO!" I felt bad, thinking..is this how miserable and stressed I was when I was with him??

Day 24 NC, im feeling better except for the slight nagging feeling that I blew it by giving him an ultimatum, but then I realize I only stood up for myself and refused to let myself be the other woman. I have been dating a really sweet, and cute, guy and we get along great... My ex has been going crazy on myspace (per friends..i have practically had to break my fingers not to check for myself!) He took her picture off his page, but still has his status as involved.

Day 21 since I contacted, day 11 since he texted me.... I had to stop myself from looking at his myspace last night..it will only serve to set me back and hurt me....NO MYSPACE. Still want to but cant seem to bring myself to make my myspace friends only viewable...I feel like that would shut the door on us forever.

Day 16...kind of cheated last night. I did a search for his name on myspace, btu didnt actually go in (stopped myself). I see that hes now put up a picture of him and this current girl which didnt hurt quite as much as i maybe thought it would. Funny how 2 weeks ago he was so confused, regretted us ending...a weeka go still confused...and now hes off on a romantic vaca with her. I cant say for certain, but I think he is probably using myspace as a way to hurt me.

Today is my ex's bday. Its funny, i spent the last two weeks thinking will I contact, how will I contact, etc. Now that the day is here I have no inclination to contact him. I even bought a birthday card a few days ago...and threw it away this morning. I removed all of his numbers from my cell (finally! seriously, what was i waiting on?) Vacation in just a few short weeks (beaches, sun, fun) I met a real sweetheart about a month ago and we've been dating for about two weeks now. He is definitely reminding me of how I should be treated.

TEchnically broke NC by looking at his text messages the other day, wished me luck on a test..but im not counting it..so THERE..i didnt reply. So Im at day 14 NC...and moving into the anger phase I probably shouldve gone through months ago at the beginning of this crazy trip. My mother makes it hard, being a romantic..she took the words he told me when we last spoke and has romanticized this situation into him truly loving me, but being with this other girl because of his fear to face his true love for me. I say BS! This other chick gets his time, attention, and a vacation...and IM the one he loves? I find this hard to swallow and I refuse to dilude myself any longer! For the first time since he reentered my life 6 weeks ago (for apparently just a nose poking to see if im still waiting) I am truly moving along. 16 more days of NC? I say bring on 160!

Its a couple weeks away, so hopefully by then i wont even want to...i guess im just worried it'll look bad on me for intentionally ignoring him on his day. However, thinking back..when i last talked to him i told him to have a great bday sooooo im covered i guess.

Yes SD...thats what...a good 80 percent of me is saying! I know the theory behind it, i understand that... Is there anyway that not doing this could backfire on me? I mean by not saying anything for the bday is there anyway this could turn out bad for me. I do realize in my heart of hearts that there isnt a big chance hes out there saying "I want BH back...if only she'll send me a birthday greeting, ill be hers forever". However, i dont want it to be soooo obvious that i intentionally forgot him...does that make any sense?

Day 10 NC...doing well, dont want to contact except the feeling that maybe I should for the Bday. I know its a bad idea...i do..but on the other hand, i will feel so awful for not aknowledging it at all! On the other hand, i know he'll be with his new girl on that day so why wish him anything..thats her job now. Im so conflicted.

Just wanted to pop in and thank SuperDave for all his advice...day 7 for me!

repetetive stuff

Thanks, I think im slowly returning to normal...but i admit i did slip with seeing him. Should i just let him make the next move (if there is one)?

HOw do I chill out? It felt sooo good to see him.

See. no he didnt say "i want you back" which is IMO what needs to be said and the actions to back it up too. He went on about how great i am, and how he realizes that he shouldve been more appreciative of me, more patient, more understanding. He talked about how we didnt really argue and how hes now seeing that any relationship is going to have its problems (he broke it off also because he thought it should just "work") I feel like if he was just looking for sex he wouldve done more then shyly kiss me. The date is with a different guy, not the ex btw. Im actually wondering if the GF is still around.

No holding of the breath in this corner..I actually have a date for this coming weekend! However, there wasnt anything really nasty that caused the break. We got together 3 months after his divorce and went super fast..pushing for moving in together, marriage, etc...and i think at the end of the day he broke it because hes not ready (either was i) to go so super speed. Do you think i blew my chances by telling him that im so picky and dont need a man? My one friend seems to think this but i feel i was just being honest. He didnt say anything bad about the GF...or good really...

Is it possible for an ex to come back after 5-6 months?

There was a time i did...im not sure now. Im just curious why all of a sudden hes texting and calling and wanting to get together? It seems odd that after all this time he would want that.

SO me and the ex broke up in late Septemver...thats right nearly 6 months ago. For the first couple months he would send emails every 2-3-4 weeks with nothing to respond to "hope youre well" "nice pics" In november he sent a nasty gram saying how he'd met a new girl, shes wonderful, and he sees no future with us (i hadnt asked btw). I ignored this email...a month lter he sends an email apologizing for how he hurt me during the breakup and saying how great i am. Xmas he texted, New years he texted....mid january he saw that i was in a relationship and texted to congratulate. A month went by and then he texted me how am i doing. He noted im on a dating website, i let him know its a hidden profile. He wished me luck in school and said maybe we could get together, i said goodnight two days later he emailed asking about family, school, life this weekend he texted how am i, hello and then called and left a voicemail saying he wanted to talk and that hopefully we'll talk later. What is this?? After 6 months? Interpretations?

The only thing is (because thats been my thought too!) He makes plans with me weeks in advance..to hang out with his friends or to have dinner with his family..or to go to events with him and his family...and makes comments about "us" this summer,etc... I think he is just a very selfish man more then anything and thinks whatever he does should be acceptable and hes completely uninterested in others or their feelings. SO the question is how do I end it? I mean to see him would mean me making yet another 40 minutes drive....so email? phone? text? And what is the best thing to say to make it quick and concise, giving him no room to argue?

People look..we're only human! But most people over the age of 18 have learned the art of being somewhat discreet...but to stare and comment in FRONT of me...after id driven him there and after driving 45 minutes made me feel like trash. The next day and since then hes been trying to be sweet but ive ignored him, trying to gather my thoughts on this. Im an attractive woman, ive been asked out WHILE with him...but turned it down as thats how i am. But youre right...the problem is he just didnt care to be discreet..the other guy with a GF was doing the same thing and you could see she was as hurt as I was...its like they were showing off for eachother...but still when i asked and brought up the discreet thing he actually said "No im not going to be discreet..if i see ahot girl im going to look..if there wasa hot guy i wouldnt care if you looked"

After doing some self evaluation and asking two close friends for advice I think i need to end my almost 3 month relationship with my boyfriend. We have a 40 minute distance, he has only commuted to see me twice. Whereas he asks and I comply to come down during the week, waking early and driving 90 minutes to work, he couldnt fathom and isnt willing to come my way, wake in the morning from my place and drive 45 minutes to work. We talk about him alot, i listen attentively..but when i talk he usually rolls his eyes or puts down my conversation. While ive listened at nauseam about his work woes, the other night i started to tell him of one of mine, he interrrupted midway..i listened and then said "oh but back to what i was saying.." and he said "I dont need to hear you complain about work anymore." FInally over the weekend, he was supposed to drive to see me for the first time in months, he weasled out of it saying a couple we like to hang out with wanted to see us. I complied...and then when i get there he says they are going somewhere 25 minutes away and we can go if i drive (after I just drove 45 minutes to see him!) The girl in the couple really wants me to be there so i drive him and i to this bar. An hour in he turns his back to me, drinks his beer and stares at an attractive blonde while nodding and sharing comments with the other two guys who are there about her "hotness". He cant fathom why id be upset about this..i feel it was crossing the line..it crushed me..it made me feel like he had no respect for me and when i brought this up he wouldnt apologize..not for doing it OR for hurting my feelings. I then said "im not even mad anymore, can u just be a little sweet to me right now to make me feel better" and he said "no im not kissing youre a**" He said that him doing that in front of me means he is open and honest and that it means he wouldnt cheat behind my back...in my eyes its not made me question his integrity and i think if he would do this in front of me, what does he do or what would he do if im not right there? I think he is a very selfish and critical M..he doesnt respect me..and I want out of this relationship but not sure what to do?? He texted me several times yesterday and has been sweet as pie but it doesnt take away the sting of his actions and the deep bruising that he hurt me and then rolled over and slept without comforting me.

I think its normal...my ex BF and I got together when I was 15 and he was 18 (dont worry guys..it was very innocent and parentally supervised for a long time!) ANyhow by 18 I was curious to explore, we broke up...6 months later reunited and stayed together for another 4 years, got engaged, moved in...and then I caved....the biggest mistake of my life. He was my best friend, he treated me like his princess and I threw it away because I was scared that I was settling. Now, ive dated many guys and they just dont treat me the way i believe i should be treated. Me and my ex are still friends, often times I miss him...but I dont think he'd ever trust me enough to get back together.

Wow, i think maybe you should just come out and inform her that you are the world expert on female orgasms..that should shake her up! Sorry for the sarcasm but I am actually annoyed by your post "she didnt know to shave or trim" guess what? Some people dont! I do btw, that is beside the point. Every woman is different...some are loud and thrashing about when they orgasm..with lots and lots of build up. Others barely make a peep until they orgasm and then all you know what breaks loose! Unless you have tongued every woman in the world, you DO NOT know as much as you apparently THINk ya do! I tend to be pretty loud during sex, oral, manual stimulation..even when im not close to orgasm...because it FEELS GOOD. Ive had one guy in the past say to me that he couldnt tell when i came because i was always loud..well boo hoo for him...im supposed to be a mime unless im cummin? DOnt worry about what the other women have done..but if you are truly concerned about her then maybe gently ask afterwards (preferably out of the bedroom) if she was satisfied...what techniques felt best to her, etc, etc.... Trust me, shes going to eventually notice your scrutiny even if it is silent (with no buildup lol sorry couldnt resist)

I think theres actually some silly formula for this..like for girls its 2 partners per year or something? I dont know! ANyhow though, even though shes not married doesnt mean she didnt have several long term relationships in her past.

I wrote last week about feeling jilted that I always make the considerable drive to see my BF for the last 4-5 weeks. I havent seen him in 8 days do to schedules and he had his son all weekend and until last night. I miss him, he misses me..has been in contact all during our "hiatus" and quite sweet. He asked today if id come see him tonight...saying that he knows its asking a lot but he misses me, has to be up extra early tomorrow for inventory tomorrow (i know this to be true) and would i please come see him tonight? SO im not sure..i miss him lots...but i dont want to keep subscribing to the cycle of being the only one making the drive...but I also dont want stubborness to get in the way of us. So do I go but let him know i expect him to drive this weekend or do I stay home so that he'll be missing me for almost two week and be more prompted to come up on the weekend?