timlondon

Oooh. well done. I'm not going to willy-wave my qualifications. link removed Reporting bias really does include intentionally misleading surveys. Can we move on?

Rubbish. Look it up.

A quick search on pubmed (keywords: anaphylaxis semen) gives 25 results. How's this for a recommendation though: JAMA. 1984 May 25;251(20) Successful long-term immunotherapy for human seminal plasma anaphylaxis. "Anaphylactic sensitivity to her husband's seminal fluid occurred in a 46-year-old woman ... the patient was immunized to fraction 3 in a classic desensitization protocol... Regular and frequent sexual activity is required to maintain her tolerant state." hahaha brilliant

pfffff... 3 weeks? Yeah, she's going to be disappointed, but it's barely even a relationship. I've been out with a girl a few times over the past 3 weeks, but in no way do I consider her my gf. LostInMyThoughts did exactly the right thing, he was completely honest about what was gong on.

Sorry it's called reporting bias link removed Shame I came into this thread so late

*ding* And there you have it in a nutshell. For men (largely) attraction = looks, for women attraction = (0.5x looks+ confidence + humour+ intelligence etc)

Firstly well done for getting over your previous relationship and moving on - that's the most difficult step Now, the difficulty with talking to girls thing is actually fairly easy to overcome, though you haven't exactly left yourself much time! You're already going on a date so don't have the issue of "breaking the ice" which is a major problem for lots of people. Essentially you need to have plenty of stuff to talk about, so essentially you need to have plenty of anecdotes to tell her and (as you've rightly identified) make her laugh. I'm sure loads of stuff has happened to you over the past, say, week that has made you smile, so try to remember all those amusing things *now* so you essentially have loads of ways of making her laugh - don't rehearse them though or you'll come accross a bit weird. I wouldn't try and tell jokes either (unless you're a natural comedian - in which case you should already have girls literally throwing themselves at you and shouldn't really be here...). One thing I only recently learned is that guys tend to talk about facts, and girls tend to talk more about (and be more responsive to) emotions - so (to pick something that happened to me last weekend) "this massive taxi driver shouted at me for getting into his cab uninvited, and tried to start a fight with me right there in the street" would become "I got into a cab with the new friends I'd made waiting outside the station, and the driver got really angry and started shouting at us - I was really embarrased as I was the one who got in first - so then we jumped out but he followed and started threatening me in the street, which was scary enough, but he then opened the boot and got out his bag, and I was thinking 'fukcing hell he's got a gun ohsihtohsihtohsiht'" and it becomes a both a much better story and has a bit of emotion. Also people like contact - so touch her on the elbow and shoulder (this doesn't really intrude on her personal space) and see how she responds. However, the absolutely crucial thing is to be confident - so smile, and sit and stand up straight. Imagine how you'd look the next day if you pulled her? Yup, you'd be smiling loads and feeling/looking pretty confident. Look like that. Good luck

Hmm - is this maybe a guy equivalent of a test...? Perhaps he's trying to see whether you'll react firmly and give him a bit of a hard time, or whether you'll just roll over... I'd certainly suggest giving him some major teasing if you do meet up though. Tell (invent) some stories of how normally if someone's late you wait 15 minutes then you just leave, make him feel lucky that you've made an exception - you've done him a favour. He does seem like a bit of an though

Difficult for a guy to do without coming accross badly I would think. Definitely avoid anything that looks like you're trying to impress her! I reckon it would be best if you see her outside the actual training area, is there a bar-type part of your gym where you could bump into her? To the previous poster I would be super-flattered if a girl approached me in the gym. Give him a smile, maybe tease him a little bit and see how it goes. Particularly as you know him through doing a class together, you've already got some shared experience - make jokes about how tough the workout was, ask whether he's coming next week. Good luck both of you!

Depends on the bar or club, though I suspect you're right about long-term prospects. There's a fantastic Brazilian club here in London that seems to have waaaay more girls than guys. And the reason she's bored of speaking to guys is that a succession of cretins has come up to her trying to impress her with ridiculous dancing and rubbish "was your father a thief..." chat-up lines. But you're right not to restrict yourself to bars and clubs

Oh, and phone up the girl (Steph?) and ask straight out if she's still keen to come to the concert, then you have enough time to arrange someone else to go with if she declines. If you're sure she's going as a friend rather than a date, I'd say it's still good because then there's no problem talking to other girls. Apart from the volume of the music maybe If she doesn't want to, go with a mate, look confident, meet girls.

I totally understand having difficulty just going up to girls, but I think that's normal for pretty much everyone initially. You need to get out and get used to randomly speaking to people (men and women), just make conversation, no ulterior motive, and build skill at just doing that. Then once you're good at striking up conversation you'll have an amazing advantage over most guys when you meet girls in a bar or wherever, and in any case it's a real confidence builder. Don't be afraid of women! They're just other people.

hahaha. No, you're not at all old, but the fact that you've had some time working means that you've had enough time to work out what you really want to do. Maybe you should spend a little more time in your curent job. to make sure you're making the correct choice and to avoid looking flaky on your CV. I'm in a similar boat - I've just quit my job (yey!) to study for a Master's. I'm not switching career, but it'll provide me with the qualifications I need for a technical job in this sector. Don't yet know what the result will be, but I'm definitely happy to be moving on. So make sure you're choosing a course that will maximise your employability in your chosen field, make sure you've thought your move through, and go for it. 25 is young

Update 2: Didn't go that well! She thought it a bit weird that I contacted her through work. Language barrier much worse over the phone than in person as well. Never mind, eh?

Update: Gave her production company a call, and have her agent's number. Fingers crossed!

OK - primarily don't use the rubbish pick-up lines from the other thread! And don't start by offering her a drink, it just looks lame and indicates that you're trying to buy her. Not cool. Oh, and don't you drink too much either, the wasted look may be funny but won't get the girls. Also, it doesn't matter whether she's with a group of friends or whatever; what does seem to make a difference is approaching girls on your own without some kind of sidekick hanging around, I think it comes accross as a bit predatory. You need to go up to her as soon as you see her - because if you don't you'll over-analyse what you're about to do, and might blow it. Be super-confident without being arrogant, and the impression that you're trying to give off is that you're totally unfazed by her looks. If it's a group you're approaching, meet all of them rather than just the girl you're interested in, and maybe give the one you've got your eye on less attention than the others to start with. You need to break the ice. I normally gently take the piss out of the waiters if we're standing at the bar, but basically anything that's not completely lame will do. There are no "signs" that she's interested - if she responds, it's on. It's up to you. Then chat, be yourself, be funny and interesting - but don't compliment her, it just comes accross like you're trying to pull her. If you really do feel the need to, it shoudld be some kind of oblique compliment about her skill or ability at something rather than about her looks. Non-invasive body contact works wonders here, girls love it if you gently and occasionally touch either their elbow or shoulder while you're chatting. Don't be awkward when you're doing this! Verrrrry relaxed. If it's going well, she'll reciprocate. Your goal at this stage isn't to get her completely by the way, you're after either a kiss or her number - or both. After max half an hour, its time to go, so say something like "I have to go back to my friends, but I've enjoyed this. How do you suggest we continue this conversation?" and get her number. To get a kiss, if it's going well, stop talking and maintain eye contact - if she holds your gaze for three seconds, you're pretty much good to go. "Would you like to kiss me?" sounds terrible but is the line that works in this situation. And there - you've done it. Repeat as necessary.

Absolutely right about the thick skin - the key thing is not to be affected when it doesn't work out. Personally I can't get into dating online, especially when there are so many great people out there to meet. IMO it's best to just get out there, meet loads of people, and be your confident, funny, interesting self

Personally I think that the issue isn't that he's into pron, it's that he's not really into you. How is his pron use affecting the rest of his life? Somehow if it's limited to messing up your sex life I don't think it's really an addiction, but if it's affecting his work, he's socialising less and profoundly influencing several areas of his life then he needs to seek help. Doesn't mean that what he's doing is acceptable, of course. You're feeling humiliated and let down, and I think you're totally right to leave him. Doesn't sound like he's likely to change either - but maybe he'll have enough of a shock when you leave to take a long, hard look at himself.

Well, at the time I thought that just getting her interested, and practicing approaching and flirting with strangers was good enough, just a bit of fun. However as she left she leant really close, squeezed my arm and said "thanks Tim.... thanks for everything", gave me a kiss and left the train. She then winked and waved as the train left. That basically left me feeling pretty good and quite keen to see her again, but it was too late to undo the screwup of not getting her number. I'm pretty new to this - just split up with a long-term gf - so my skills are not very well honed! So ultimately I don't think she'll have a problem with me getting in contact. I don't really think it makes much difference that we met on a bus - just easier to talk than in a bar

hehe, yes, appropriare lyrics. Totally with you about the stalking stuff. Anyway I've found the website of both the channel the show's broadcast on and of the production company - though I can't read Spanish so will have some difficulty identifying the correct address... anyone speak Spanish here?

Absolutely. It's quite weird, I was in a long term relationship that's just ended, so I've had to go out and try to learn how to chat up girls, something that I haven't done in 9 years (and which I was pretty rubbish at befor anyway). The thing I'm discovering is quite how different girls are to blokes in terms of what they find attractive - guys are much less focussed on behaviour than girls are, and even an ordinary-looking guy can make himself pretty attractive by behaving in the correct way. So what you've got is a good looking guy who for some reason isn't pushing your attraction buttons. I guess this could be for several reasons. He could simply not be very good at picking up girls, he could be trying to behave professionally, or he could simply not fancy you. I think that he's gone out of his way to speak to you, so it's not the last of those, and somehow since he's a lawyer I would think he'd be confident enough to approach you. So I think it's probably the second - he's attracted but constrained by the situation. So I think "it's on" but unfortunately - not being a girl - I don't know what you should do to promote this. Other than to dress fabulously when you next meet. I'm getting much better at just going up to women I like, so the answer is - I used to

OK bit of a weird one this. I met a girl on the bus in London yesterday, got on really well for about 2 hours, and would really like to see her again. The problems are: a) I didn't have my phone on me and we didn't exchange numbers, and b) she's Spanish and was on her way back to Madrid. So on the surface there's pretty much no chance of meeting up again. However, she's an actress on a TV show in Spain, and I know what her show is called. But how should I go about getting in contact with her? Quite a high probability of coming accross like a weirdo, but I would think it's worth a shot. We got on sufficiently well that I'm pretty sure she's interested

Meh Pretty old-fashioned viewpoint really, and specious use of "biology" to cover what is essentially a cultural issue. I expect that the way women behave towards men would seem outrageously aggressive to previous generations – I think there is increasing parity between the way men and women attract each other. Certainly men are more visually motivated than women, but it's only a question of degree. I do think what's important is to play it cool & not seem needy – but it's 3 days so go ahead and fire off a text...

Gheers guys, your support is a real help. I'm doing quite a lot of running at the moment - training for a 10k in a couple of weeks - but perhaps it's not quite aggressive enough. Glad to hear that it's not just guys who go through the anger phase though! I'm actually supposed to be meeting up with her for lunch today, though I think I'll just call it off. God this is annoying. I must admit to being pretty sceptical when I first visited these boards, but it has been a fantastic way to assess my situation and gain advice from people who have been there and come out smiling the other side. What a great resource!