b8s
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19 ways to keep a girl...guys read this, it will help you
b8s replied to shortstop543's topic in Dating Advice
i would love a guy who would do all those things for me its been a long long time. and reading that makes me miss it. -
looking for a quick rebound so i can move on!!!just a joke, but reading lots of post that say to move on you need to find someone else to help you get over your ex. i am so shy when meeting people for the first time that i will end up single for so long. before my ex i was single for 2 and 1/2 yrs before him 2 yrs. see what i mean i dont want to be lonely for months or yrs this time. its so hard to meet people at my age that are single, and i did the lavalife thing just before my ex and i hooked up and i will never do online dating again. all i can say about that is OMG.... so if anyone has some good imput. much appriciated just don't say meeting someone at work. that how my ex and i met and now i still see him eveyday.
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yeah i know it's best he doesn't call me. but if he did it would let me know this sucks for him too. and every time i have seen him at work he looks fine! i know guys handle there emotions differently but i would sure love to know he is having a hard time too!!! selfish? yes but thats the way i feel right now. i know down the road i will want the best for him, i do now but.... well if you've been dumped i think you know what i mean.. its hard to explain!
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no i defenitly don't want to be a booty call NEVER. as i said i turn my phone off at night so i wouldnt hear it if there was one. but it would make me think he misses me as oppose to me feeling like he really doesn't care any he doesn't think about me at all. how is he so strong when it comes to this brake up and he wasnt with anything else??? im going to a singles mixer tonight. never been to one before. im not going to make a new b/f but i am hoping i can make some new friends and i will be getting out of the house.
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Hope for the best.....still hurts though.
b8s replied to Spawn's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
i was wondering if you care for her as much as it sounds why did you not want to be with her? are you saying im not good enough for you you will find someone better. shouldnt she be the one to decide who is best for her not having you tell her its not you. my ex just broke up with me not really sure why just that his gut said to, he also said he knew that i would find someone better for me and that he wasnt it. it left me with a lot of questions and i keep wondering why i am not allowed to decide if its him or not? -
i think i'm also just feeling sorry for myself!
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i woke up this morning sad. i slept terribly and had crazy dreams they were all about him being mean to me (trying to get me in trouble at work etc. ) just weird stupid things. so when i woke up i am saying to myself why does he hate me... the other thing is when im reading what other people post, there are lots about the exs calling after having a few drinks. well for the last 3 weeks since the brake up he has been out drinking most nights and i have never gotten a call to talk or for booty.. haha dont worry i turn my ringer off before i go to sleep, so i wouldnt answer if he did call. it just makes me sad because he is my only ex ever to want nothing to do with me. ( talking, booty of just to see how i am ) he is doing the n/c so easy i just feel like he never cared at all. and i am easily forgettable. thanks for listening
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i'm trying. its hard though when you don't understand what and why? i am just feeling deflated now i am not putting any more energy into this. it's too draining. i cant say im going to forget and not think about it but im going to try and im going to try and not write about it any more either. i deep down believe hes right and he is not the one for me. i guess its just going to take meeting the one to know!
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in a way i am hoping he will come back and say i imiss you i made a mistake etc.... but i dont think i could ever trust him again with my feelings and i would allways wonder when he would back off again . plus after how upset i have been and talking with my mom and brothers and im sure my mom told my dad. they all say he is a twit (nice way to put it) for the way he treated me for 3 weeks not telling me what was going on not speaking to me. when 1 phonce call could have done so much. to make this easier not leave me hanging for 3 weeks with him not talking and me trying everything to reach out to him. he showed me no respect in that regards and my family and friends think the way he handled it was immature and to make me do all the work because he is too scared to talk about things. i could go on and on. there is no way i could bring him home in a few months if we got back together, because none of my friends or family would ever like him they would allways think back to how much hurt he put me through. and sayyou are too good for him.
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i have been wondering if i had suggested getting someout side help i.e couples conseling to try and work on his fears of serious relationships and him thinking he was going to be hurt. if he gave and let his wall down for good. i never said it and i think now i should have , i will never know if he would have gone for it.
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i know i know, what does it matter what his answer will be. he still doesn't want to be with me!
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well i just tried calling my ex. i guess it was a good thing his phone is off. i didn't leave a message. i called because when we talked yesterday he told me his gut said it wasn't going to work. and the question i had wanted to ask and for whatever reason didnt ask was.. less than 5 days before we broke up you and i were talking about moving in together to his new place and he seemed so happy with the idea, he said he loved me. what happened to change that????? in the span of less than a week? and when we talked yesterday he kept saying he cared for me, i also want to know what that means care for me like a friend or buddy? care for me like love you and you mean more than just a friend? is it wrong to want these questions answered? i keep telling myself he just got scared because his feelings were so strong and because he is afraid of relationships and is allways expecting to get hurt some how. but his gut says its wrong! that makes me think he was just mistaking his feelings, and realized he didn't love me. i would love to know what happened. then i can stop wondering and hoping for good.
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you think??? i want something i can't have, go figure i thought me at home ALONE and upset was telling me i could have it!!!!
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my most recent ex as of 2 weels ago. when we first met months and months ago at work i didn't think he was good looking at all he was nice but not goodlooking in my eyes not my type etc etc.... after working with him and getting to know him. he made me laugh he was a good guy and thats why i went for him he made me happy and smile. so i agree if you are meeting someone for the first time it is based on looks if you know someone for a while its the person you like not how he looks you he becomes better looking when you know the type of person he is.
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i dont know what to say, writing here is stoping me from texting him right now. i just feel horrible. i am a great looking nice caring person who only wants the best for the people i care about. right now i just feel useless and alone and why can't i do anything right?my ex was no where near as good looking as me and he wasnt entirely sure what he wanted from life he is 26 im 30 i allways told myself i would never date someone yonger because he wouldn't be in the same place as me.. broke my own first rule because he was nice and i liked him. look where it got me. not thinking highly of myself crying non stop hating life and becoming a weak begging person, all the things i never was. i know everyone tells me he is not worth it i can do so much better even he is telling me that. but why cant i decide what i want and what i think is good for me.. his gut told him he wasnt right for me and it wasnt going to work out. my gut tells me he is perfect for me and we will have a long happy future. why is his gut right and mine doesnt count? he hates confrontation thats a crock life is confrontation!! terrible upset and didnt want to phone him again so thanks for listening.
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no i just meant i dont want him to think im trying to find away to see him again right now . i should just forget it and then if we do talk like friends somewhere down the line i can just ask if he still has it and if he does can i have it then ..
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i went there mad with the plan of no talking. he wouldnt talk to me at all for the last 2 weeks and he never set up a time for me to get my stuff. so when i went there it was it. but then he started to talk after we switched things and i wasn't mad at him when i left because he told me what happened finally. he said he hopes when we both got over are feelings we could be friends again and we are co-workers so we will still see each other. i know we will never be friends for real. but after him telling me why and treating me like a person finally. i do want to remember the good times and the special things he did for me. he has no email but i could text and tell him to not throw that stuff out yet and leave it for a little while. then in a couple months if i still want it i can ask then. that way it wont seem like im just did it too have another meet up. yes no????
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well if you read my post from earlier today, you will know i went to my exs house so we could switch keys and i could get my things back. for the past 3 weeks allmost i have said i want to switch things and he would just say ok, and he would call and he never did. today i told him i was coming and i would call him when i was out front he said ok. he gave me my things and i gave him a small bag with the valentines card he gave me and the stuffed micky mouse he gave me for v.d and when we first got together and he found out i liked mickey mouse he gave me his old m.m piggy bank he has had since he was a kid. when he looked in the bag he said i dont want this its yours. i said i dont want any reminders its yours throw it out if you dont want it. i want it back!!!! they were the only things i had from him now and because im stubborn and stupid and went there mad. i dont have them anymore and i cant go back and ask for them now. can i??
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i would love it if you were my ex and came to throw rocks at my window tonight.. but if she was the dumper i dont think she would like. leave her till she throws something at you. by the way my ex now lives a stones throw away and i hate looking and seeing that he is not home...
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as much as i love him i hope in a few weeks i will feel better and if he does come back i wont want him, i gave him the chance now to try and he chose not to.. his mind seems pretty made up anyways . i am finding it hard to believe now that he ever cared for me ( his gut tells him its not right when we got in our first and only fight he allmost didnt call me back because he didnt want to be with me because he thought i was going to hurt him he only came around after tons of texts and calls he said i showed him that i did care and want him. and since then he has been a little distant because he thinks i will hurt him) i just cant believe someone will get rid of something because they were scared he cant know that it wont work out, for all he knows i could have been the one he was to marry and have kids with. now we will neveri know. because he doesnt want to try. thats why im beginning to think it may have been lust for him. and then it hit him that he didnt love me. it is hard to know if anything that was said and felt was true anymore i just dont see how someone who says they love you can put you through so much pain and hurt can actualy care.
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all though nothing being is said is making me feel better, i thank you for responding its nice to hear from people who are responding to what i wrote. im not going to call or texts i know i wont get a responce. but up until tonight i had so much hope that we could fix things. but his gut knows best... and yeah its better to get it over with now, as oppose to a few months down the road but what happens if trying again knowing what mistakes we made would have made it ok and brought it back to what we both wanted from it in the beginning. now we will never know and i can be losing the person who really is right for me. i just feel empty, i dont want to talk to any of my friends i feel like im not worth much right now. all i want is to talk to him.. reading and writing here makes it a little easier but not much thanls
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i really want to keep calling and calling him until he says ok lets try again. i know thats not the right thing to do you cant force someone to be with you when they dont want to be. i just want him to want me again and i want to be happy with him again. i know me begging isnt going to help things when we have to see each other at work. also he said he had heard i went on a date sat night. i told him its hard to enjoy and go on dates when you feelings are for someone else.. I MISS HIM.
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well i met my ex to exchange things. i went over there and i said to myself i wasn't going to talk and i said i didn't care for him anymore. well now im a basket case and i cant stop crying i miss him so much and i want to be with him. he told me what happened his gut told him that the relationship wasn't right and he still cared for me but i could do better. and he said he is a person who likes everyone and i dont like anyone.( that i dont get i dont like everyone but i do like people) he said he was sorry he makes me sad he doesn't mean too. he agreed that we didn't get a fair shot at being together because of a whole bunch of things this past month. i know i shouldn't have but after hearing these things i told him i missed him, and i asked if i should stop hoping that we could fix things. he said no not right now. if i can't have him back now i dont want him back!!i am such a mess this is worse than before. i think deep down i know he doesnt have feelings for me anymore because if he did we could try. and he said to me at one point his gut told him it didnt feel right and it was better to listen to it now than it happening a few months from now. i cant remember how much of the conversation went because he was talking quiet and i was upset. when i couldn't get on here and write a mess i texted him saying if i were to invite you over tonight would you come? he never answered. and i want to call him now and keep asking him to give it one more shot it would work now. i hope i dont do that. i dont want to be that pathetic person begging him to come back to me when he is coming off so positive that he made the right decision. i just think he made the wrong one, and he isnt giving us a chance because he was hurt before and he thinks his gut is telling him its going to happen so i may as well end it now.. i need to hear something from someone, i feel worse now than the day we broke up. i also asked him for my letters back he asked why and i said because i didnt want people at work to read them they were personal.. he said he wasnt like that his business is his only ( i know hes not like that) but i dont want him to have that part of me down on paper. any how he told me he didnt have them i know he still does.. why does he want to keep them??
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well im moving on without him. if you have read my posts you know the story. i gave him an ultimadum he chose not being in the relationship. since the evening of the day we broke up he has gone out drinking every night 3 weeks straight. he was never like that before i know hes doing it because he has a low self esteem and i know he was in love with me broke up with me because he felt he was not going to be what i wanted. (not good enough). not wanting to go home to an empty apartment. i am worried about him he is messing his life up so much with this and im afraid it will go completely out of control. i know not my problem but i love him.. i know now even if he cleaned up his act i couldnt get back with him because i would allways wonder when it would happen again. and i know what i want from life and that is not it. i will still see him at work and say hi but nothing more, i can tell you its really hard to have to see that person everyday and hear the things he has been doing. oh well i havent called or texed since sat and all this hit me tues night lets hope i stick with it! i dont think there is anything i can do to help, i dont even want to talk to him anymore, because he is not the same. sorry needed to vent i am still sad and very upset even though i dont want to. i know im making the right move in moving on and not trying to fix things or offer him help he needs to figure out on his own what hes doing to himself. someone here said you need to love yourself before you can love someone else and that is what made me realize its not me and its not something i can fix. he has problems and if he didnt want to work on them or let me help him when we together. than he lost out!!
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thank you for replying