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money wise i am in the best spot and the other restaurents are on the outskirts of the city. plus i have alot of senority there. and the friends i do have there are good ones.

it made me feel better about moving on. it's different for everyone and you know how your ex would react best. as long as your doing this for yourself and not to get a responce i say go for it!

hey i wrote a letter two and it helped me prepare to move on we are talking now a little.it cleared the air and it gave me the chance to say everything i wanted so that in a few months or in my next relationship i will never wonder what if i just tried one more time or did this???? i did my best and i will never say to myself i didnt try!! i would take out the part about her running from her problems the last thing she will want to hear is you saying what she needs to do.

well i have decided that even if my ex wants me i dont want him back the way he is now, all the drinking and parties. he is not the same guy i got together with. but i have to admit i HATE hearing at work every day what they did the night before and over hear how funny or great he was. and they go out everynight so even on the days when we were not working together i hear stories!! and i know that one of these days i am going to go into work and hear that he has hooked up with someone else from there. in a way i like seeing him there and knowing what hes up too, but i HATE it at the same time. HELP!!! i know i dont like who he is now but i do love who he was and we were before. what can i do to stop hearing about his active social life and not have it bother me?? please help i am ready to move on but i need some help with this aspect.. thank you in advance for anything you say!

is it really that im moving on or is it because i made myself more approachable by breaking the ice talking about the movie?

o.k i get that but why is he flirting with me now? that is what i don't understand.

---------------------- well if anyone has read my other posts you are up to date on my relationship. so on sat i wrote my ex a letter.( i know bad). at work today i asked if he got it he said yeah and then for the rest of my shift we were civil to each other.i told him about a movie coming out and he made a joke to our boss about me when i was there. ( it was funny and not at all rude or out of place) he put scraps in my apron all the things he did to flirt with me when we were together. in my letter i wrote down what i thought went wrong and if we were to fix things stuff would need to change. co-workers and work were not to be involved in out relationship etc etc things i would do different and him.we need to go back to how things were a couple months ago now that we know what happened. at the end of my letter i said the decision is yours you can 1- call me and say lets talk and try and fix things. or 2-call me and say lets exchange our things back. i would like to know soon so that i can move on if that is what he picks and hopefully one day we could end up friends just not now as i still have feelings. i have no clue what to think! and how long should i give him to respond to my letter with a call? i am going to keep things light at work hi bye that type of thing and also not bring any of this up anymore he has the BALL. oh if you dont read my other threads he broke up with me 2 weeks ago today saying he wasnt ready for a serious relationship. i dont know how to cut and paste my threads but they are there ..

well if anyone has read my other posts you are up to date on my relationship. so on sat i wrote my ex a letter.( i know bad). at work today i asked if he got it he said yeah and then for the rest of my shift we were civil to each other.i told him about a movie coming out and he made a joke to our boss about me when i was there. ( it was funny and not at all rude or out of place) he put scraps in my apron all the things he did to flirt with me when we were together. in my letter i wrote down what i thought went wrong and if we were to fix things stuff would need to change. co-workers and work were not to be involved in out relationship etc etc things i would do different and him.we need to go back to how things were a couple months ago now that we know what happened. at the end of my letter i said the decision is yours you can 1- call me and say lets talk and try and fix things. or 2-call me and say lets exchange our things back. i would like to know soon so that i can move on if that is what he picks and hopefully one day we could end up friends just not now as i still have feelings. i have no clue what to think! and how long should i give him to respond to my letter with a call? i am going to keep things light at work hi bye that type of thing and also not bring any of this up anymore he has the BALL. oh if you dont read my other threads he broke up with me 2 weeks ago today saying he wasnt ready for a serious relationship. i dont know how to cut and paste my threads but they are there ..

thanks for the suggestions, the co workers is definitly a no go i used to hang out with them all a bit not my thing anymore anyways and my EX does that with them now! so im not sure i want to be hanging around when hes there esp right now

yeah by this age everyone has there groups of friends, so i am at a loss as to what to do!! if i had the time and the interest in certain things to take a class i would but im a server so my work schudule changes every week and i work days and nights so its really hard to make a commitment like that when im not sure if i will be able to get to it.

hi well my boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago. i decided that i'm not going to sit at home and i want to get back out there. problem i have no friends. 2 months ago my best friend moved to england to live with her husband my only other single girlfriend moved to go to school in buffalo, and all my other friends are married and never go out. i tried setting up a couple night outs with them but they canceled each time. my ex is a co-worker and i have no desire to party with my co-workers outside of work. they are all younger and all they do is party not what i want to do anymore. there are a few there that i will go to the occasional movie with but they have a life outside of our job. i know people tell me to sign up for classes i like or some hobby i like to meet new people, but because of my work schudule i can't do that. so my question is how do i meet some new people for friends? guys and girls the last 2 weeks i have spent everynight at home and i want to go out!!

well if you have read my other post you will know whats happened. so yesterday at work before i left i pulled him aside and said sorry i didnt want to talk at work and i tried to set something up so that things can stay peacefull between us there but im giving up and i want all my stuff back. he said i want things to be peacefull too, i texted you yesterday to say my parents were staying longer ( i also heard he went to play poker later that night) i said i know i got it but you never sent anything later. he said we need to try and set something else up so we can talk i said whatever and walked away. im now back at sq 1 except i tried to make an effort and it got thrown back in my face, and it also made me look like i care. why does he not want to just exchange things and be done with me? i know my letter to him is still sitting on his dresser he didnt throw it out after reading and he only has one picture frame in his place ( just moved in) there are 2 pic one of his family and 1 of me on his bedside table its just been closed and turned down.. my friend who was there told me.. im going into work on mon and just going to start saying hi how are you ? and nothing else till i say goodbye. we will see how long before he tries to set up a time to meet to talk or if he just says finally heres your stuff!! i dont get what he is waiting for!!! i know i still want to get back together with him i would be lying to myself and everyone if i said i didnt, but for me the longer time goes by i wont want to!!!and i would have liked to try and patch things up . he is such a procrastenater, why does he not just want to excange keys return our things and be done with it??????

well on mon it will be 2 weeks since we broke up on tues i sent him a text giving him a meeting place and telling him we need to talk, that night at work i asked if he recived my text and is that o.k. he said yes , he was meeting with his parents and not sure when they would be leaving but we would talk tomorrow. well yesterday 30 min before we were to meet i recived a text hey my parents are still here i dont know when they are leaving cant make it for 5 try ya later i never recived any text or phone call after that... i love him and this was going to be my last shot. now im not sure what to do i will see him today at work, i am just going to tell him i want my stuff back. i want to tell him i want everything that is mine and the couple pieces of furniture that were mine that i gave him for his new place and tell him he has 2 days to return everything to me. he has treated me like * * * * since we broke up not returning calls ditching me last night treating me like i was a horrible mean person to him when i have never been anything but good to him. should i just ask for my things back and let him keep the my old wall unit and stero, that is what i was going to do before he blew me off last night. now i want to treat him like the piece of sh.. he has treated me like for the past week???

thanks everyone your advice is what i would tell someone. i spent the day shopping it made me feel better and i kept thinking of things i am going to do to get past this. but i have to admit i thought about him every few minutes and i said to myself with everything what would he think, and i just kept wondering what he is doing right now!!! so.... tonight i am going to pamper myself and do girl things and hope when i wake up tomorrow the bags under my eyes will be gone, and when i see him at work i can nod and not run to the bathroom to cry.. i will let you know how the first day goes. thanks again

i just cant see it getting easier. es when i have to see him tomorrow having fun and laughing and going out. it really makes me feel like he never cared and i think thats what hurts the most, thinking that i dont rate any where. i dont know what to believe any more

it hasn't even been a week, i feel horrible i've lost weight i find tears rolling down my cheeks when i didn't realize i'm crying. i miss him i want him back. i hear stories about him going out after work each night, having a good time. i don't get why he isn't at home feeling crap like me, i don't understand why he couldn't talk to me and tell me what happened closure would be nice. i dread seeing him at work but at the same time i think to myself oh maybe when he sees me he will want me back, but i allready know he won't at least not yet it hurts me all over again. i dont have any friends to talk to about this, they dont want to hear about it, they just say if its meant to be it will happen give him space. im at home thinking to myself today is his first day off since it happened, will he be sitting in his new place sad and lonely thinking i could be with him we could be playing are video games. i want to hate him for making me feel this horrible, i also want him to feel this bad too. i don't understand why he couldn't tell me what happened, why he hasnt called just to see how im holding up. does this mean he never really cared? has he forgotten about me this quickly? aghhhhh i hate him for putting me through this, esp when he allways said i would never hurt you it would be the other way around!! well right now i wish it was me who could have hurt him..

i allways felt the same way. but i thought i would give it a chance with a co worker after a few months of working together. it was great until we broke up now i have to see him everyday and everyone at work knows are buiness. i wouldnt reccomend it.

thanks for the advice i was thinking the same thing i guess i just needed to hear it from someone else. i didn't get angry with him i just tried to talk . it just sucks and now we have to work together so there wont even be the no contact thing everyone is talking about.

my friend and co worker of 8 months and boyfriend of 3 months broke up with me on monday he said he couldn't be in a relationship right now. when only a week before he moved into his new apartment that he got 2 blks from my house in a building i would live in. ( he asked in the past if i would live downtown and in a building etc) i said only this area and this type of place. guess what that is exactly the type of place he got, even though he would have preferred downtown. so the day he moved in he had me over to check it out gave me a key and kept asking if i really liked it? i told him how much i liked it and before he moved in we had talked about me moving in we had also said i love you. that night we said it as well a couple days later we had a bit to drink but we were talking about where we would put certain things of mine when i moved in. everything seemed perfect he left for work the next morning and would call me that night he never called that was sat finally on mon i went by his house and he was passed out on the couch 2 late nights and thats when he decided he wanted out when i told him i deserved a return call when i called him or him just phoning to say hi. but not forgeting about me for 2 days. i really dont understand how it can go from one extreme giving me a key etc etc to i cant be with you. he wont talk to me now i asked for an explanation and i sent texts did all the things im not suppose to do. when we have seen each other at work all we said was hi with are heads down. and he has been on a constant bender since last sat night i assuming thats his way of not dealing with it. what should i do ? we had a fight once before and i had to call and texts him for a week before i got a responce from him at the time he said the only reason we got back together was because all my calls and texts showed him i did love him. because he said i had scared him by telling him during a fight that was it, it was over, ( that was me putting up a wall not really meaning it) we made it through that one even though he kept saying after i had really scared him he had been hurt before and didnt want to be in that position again. do you think it goes back to that one and when he was getting close to me again he backed off so he wouldnt get hurt? i know i need to stop thinking so much. but things were so good i find it hard to believe he would rather be without me.

i think all the drinking is his way of not dealing with things. i know i shouldn't make excuses for someone who is treating me this way. but when you love someone you do stupid things!!!!

thanks that is what im trying allready. i have said hi each day and that is it. i can't see him missing me if he sees me everyday.

hi i have posted my recent events and since then i have been reading others stories. we broke up 5 days ago he said i don't want a serious relationship. for the rest of the week i sent a few texts a couple calls and i wrote a letter to him. after reading what people had written things made cence and i wish i hadn't done anything now. the thing is i have no plans to try and make any more contact, but we work together we are both servers at the same restaurent he works nights i work mainly days but are paths cross for a few hrs 3 or 4 days a week so how does n/c work in this situation. he hasnt told anyone there we broke up. but he is very sad and sullen when im working but when i leave he is all happy and talkative . my good friend works there also. i would love some suggestions for how to do this.

my boyfriend and i work together we have since the summer and we hooked up on new years but we became good friends first.our relationship moved really quick on superbowl we were suppose to meet i was going to meet his best friend for the first time and then we were going to my best friends going away party. i talked to him the night before, and he was going to call me the next day but by 530 that night i still hadnt heard from him i was pissed and i sent him a text saying i was mad i dont like being blown off. so i went to my friends party he called me when i was inside and i didnt hear the phone but mess said hi hun call me back! i went outside and my phone rang again it was him he said i just got your text whilke are you pissedi told him etc etc.... i ended up saying i will bring your stuff to you tomorrow. next day at work we didnt talk so at the end of my shift i told him i put his stuff in his locker and i would bring the rest later.. he gave a pained look. i eneded up trying to call later that night to say sorry he didnt answer. the next day at work he left after 5 min saying he was sick so i started phoning and texting him like a mad woman saying we need to talk or if you dont want to at least send me a text saying go away.. nothing not a word until fri after he sent a text saying sorry he is no good at confrontation and we would talk later.we get back together and things are ok he says though he is scared because i was so quick to give him his stuff he thinks i could do it again so easily. and the only reason we were back together is my mad texts and calls he said that showed him i did care.. o.k now he is looking for an apartment and he suggest me moving in, we are looking at places and im really picky hes not 2 weeks ago he got a great place 2 blks from my house type of building i wanted totaly my apartment. hew moves in i go by and see it he gives me a key. at this point i have allready told him i love him and he has said it as well and he is talking about me moving in and where all my stuff would go up to fri night then on sat he goes to work and i go home he says he will call me later and didnt still nothing by sun after i called left a mess saying call me. around 230 am i still hadnt heard from him so i called a friend of mine co worker to chat and he asked if i wanted to talk to my boyfriend he was there. my friend put him on the phone and he said he had no time to call blah blah so i said bye hung up. the next day i left work early went to his house he was still passed from the night before and i say to him if you want to be in this relatiionship you cant treat me like this so decide what you want. when i phone you id like you to answer or return my calls couples dont go for days without talking. i left and a few hrs later i called him and surprize he didnt answer he called me an hr later and said he didnt want to be in a relationship any more. said he would call later and didnt. we work AS servers so if your work nights people go out drinking every night i work days him nights and since last thurs he has partied every night 7 nights in a row till 5 am every daywe broke up on mon and on tues night i wrote a note and put it on his door saying why??? are you %100 sure this is what you want i need answers and i wont wait around if you decide in a month you made a mistake. i have seen him at work twice since then for about an hr each day we both said hello and thats it we stayed on oppisite side s of the restaurents.. my ?? is he says he loves me gives me a key got a place esp for me in my area when he would have preferred elsewhere. what do i do give up? keep pestering like the one fight we had im so lost i really think he does care and he is scared about getting close, but i wont let myself be there if he wants me back in a month when he realizes what he lots also his drinking has gone crazy this last week?? help